Sperm Edwards

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About Sperm Edwards

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    Penis
  • Birthday 10/21/1968

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  1. Or what if Aikman just played when he did? His rookie season, 6.1% INT percentage. Second season 4.5%. First 2 years average = 5.2%.
  2. Not only what other #3 picks or top 5 picks get; he wants what the next 15 or so picks after him gets: 4 years 100% guaranteed, so the team can't cut him in year 4 to save money. In exchange for these high guarantees, what the team gets is a slotted amount so they don't have to shell out $10-12M/year for a maybe-bust rookie. It's a good system and the Chargers are saying "Thanks, we'll take that slotted amount that favors us, then screw the player on the give-back every other team participates in." They suck.
  3. Nonsense. The "first year" amount is irrelevant in round 1 contracts inside the top 20 because they're fully guaranteed for all 4 years. It's only important to get it all up front in year 1 if he feels he will be out of the league (or suspended) for disciplinary reasons alone. Because other than that, he'd get every penny whether it was all in year 1 or spread evenly over 4 years. Reading their press release, Chargers are playing a game of 3-card Monte here. The contract is supposed to contain 4 years of 100% guarantees for a top 3 pick, just like for the next 15+ picks after him. They are offering below this going rate of guaranteed percentage, but are then trying to sidestep it and dress it up by saying, "We offered him a higher percentage (of the lowball offer) in year 1." Lovely. Except it's not a 1 year contract, though, so they're full of crap. For example, $10M $1M $1M $3M with only the first 3 years guaranteed is not as good an offer as $6M $3M $3M $3M with all of it guaranteed. The first offer the team can cut him after year 3 and the player gets $12M. The second deal the player gets $3M in year 4 even if he's cut (offset language notwithstanding). Their offer is less than the going rate. Who cares how much is in signing bonus or year 1 payouts? Guaranteed money is guaranteed money. It's not like it used to be years ago, where anything outside the signing bonus wasn't guaranteed. When they have to qualify a statement with "...[than] any Chargers first-round selection" then you know they're getting cute. The Chargers don't get their own special slotting amounts that immune them from the rest of the league's slotting system. And it's not like these top 3 picks get $10-12M/year anymore either. A lower slotting system that favors the teams over draftees; one that (appropriately) reduces the risk of these highest picks, and the Bolts are still playing these el-cheapo games. Hate to say it, I'm starting to see why Archie didn't want Eli to play there.
  4. Like he wants more mouths to feed.
  5. Like it matters. Even if he's terrible and we only won because the D gave up 6 points in all our postseason games and the SB combined, give him a fully guaranteed 10 year $500M contract for all I care.
  6. The most recent one rhymes with MolesMovement lol.
  7. "Mind the stepchildren."
  8. I understand your confusion but he wasn't typing. He was using the voice recognition software on his phone. As in, "Hey Siri, whose penis will leave my breath the mintiest?"
  9. So the real question is: how does he get his manhood to leave your breath so minty fresh?
  10. Clearly you only think so because you have Geno's penis in your mouth.
  11. "OK You and the rest of your bastages can gamble, but don't try no fargin trick, otherwise you wind up with your bells in a sling."
  12. Yes and no. You're correct about the beginning part, and Ryan's motivation for putting him in there (after getting injured, Mark went off on Idzik not Rex), but Rex was still the HC and in the end it was still his call to unnecessarily put an unaware/tunnel vision QB - despite the competition, still his very likely starting QB at that - in there with little OL protection.