Who Should Be the Jets' Next Mascot ?
The Jets lost a piece of their collective identity recently when "Fireman Ed"—Ed Anzalone, the fan renowned for leading the "J-E-T-S, JETS-JETS-JETS!" chants at Jets home games—announced that he was retiring from his unofficial role as the team's head cheerleader.Since the Jets are in the market for a new superfan to keep enthusiasm high at MetLife MET -0.80% Stadium (no easy task, for sure), here are a few recommendations :
Wildcat Tim
Has gained extensive and valuable experience in cheering on and lending support to Jets players and coaches this season. Would bring requisite sincerity, enthusiasm and spiritual devotion to the position. Versatility would allow him to lead "J-E-T-S" chant and orchestrate crowd in singing "New York, New York"—but only two or three times a game. Has exhibited willingness to sit through long stretches of games while shirtless.
Tuna Bill
Would supplement team's fan base by buying season tickets for Curtis Martin, Vinny Testaverde, Maurice Carthon, Keith Byars and so on. Would make any fan who didn't participate in "J-E-T-S" chant run gassers at halftime. Potential complication: Based on his quote, "You are what your record says you are," might change chant to reflect state of team: "FOUR-AND-SEV-VEN, JETS!
Broadway Joe
Has honed public-speaking and performance skills through work on "Monday Night Football," "The Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island." Has popular Twitter account and could post critiques of Mark Sanchez after each interception. Would remind Jets fans of a time when the franchise could be brash and bold and actually back it up. Would also remind Jets fans of a time when a man could wear pantyhose without fear of reprisal.
Coach Richie
Brooklyn native would deliver chant and cheers with appropriate New York accent. Coached Jets to four victories over two years in mid-1990s, so he would greet any season of five wins or more with unfettered joy. Also served as Philadelphia Eagles coach for four years, giving him deeper understanding for and appreciation of the negative atmosphere that can surround an NFL franchise.
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