Greenseed4 Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 My wife and I fight a lot. When she was pregnant, and pissed me off, I once took all of the TV remote controls with me to work. I thought that was the most brilliant revenge tactic in the history of time. I guess I could've just hit her, but she was pregnant. The thought of her having to get up every time the channel sucked made me happy inside. And I'm happy to share that experience with you all. I recently dated a girl (spoiler alert: marriage fail) who related a story about an ex-boyfriend, whom she deprived of toilet paper (and all other paper products) in her attempt to enact revenge. I thought that was brilliant. Gross, but brilliant. Earlier today, at my son's soccer game, my former mother-in-law served me with divorce paperwork. The language is pretty ugly and has me feeling all riled up, and whatnot...Homicide is the obvious go-to, but supposing I go another direction, I thought I would vent myself on this (this) message board, and yield suggestions from the intelligent posters who have been in similar situations. How can I f^ck my soon to be ex-wife, without f^cking my soon to be ex-wife? (thanks in advance to all serious replies) I'm serious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pac Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Simple solution. Simply act like you don't care... In fact act like its a big joke and laugh when she yells. Seems like it wont be gratifying but believe me she will lose her mind. The more she gets riled up the harder you laugh. It sucks but definitely beats doing something you'll regret. Don't give her ammunition to tell your child.. once the pain wears off he will still be there. Try and make him proud and spare him from being a pawn. All about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackout Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 order strippers to her house Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bombdirt Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Simple solution. Simply act like you don't care... In fact act like its a big joke and laugh when she yells. Seems like it wont be gratifying but believe me she will lose her mind. The more she gets riled up the harder you laugh. It sucks but definitely beats doing something you'll regret. Don't give her ammunition to tell your child.. once the pain wears off he will still be there. Try and make him proud and spare him from being a pawn. All about him. This. Living well is the best revenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#27TheDominator Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 This. Living well is the best revenge. ...but stabbing is good too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 order dead strippers to her house Frame her and get her the chair? That works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 My wife and I fight a lot. When she was pregnant, and pissed me off, I once took all of the TV remote controls with me to work. I thought that was the most brilliant revenge tactic in the history of time. I guess I could've just hit her, but she was pregnant. The thought of her having to get up every time the channel sucked made me happy inside. And I'm happy to share that experience with you all. I recently dated a girl (spoiler alert: marriage fail) who related a story about an ex-boyfriend, whom she deprived of toilet paper (and all other paper products) in her attempt to enact revenge. I thought that was brilliant. Gross, but brilliant. Earlier today, at my son's soccer game, my former mother-in-law served me with divorce paperwork. The language is pretty ugly and has me feeling all riled up, and whatnot...Homicide is the obvious go-to, but supposing I go another direction, I thought I would vent myself on this (this) message board, and yield suggestions from the intelligent posters who have been in similar situations. How can I f^ck my soon to be ex-wife, without f^cking my soon to be ex-wife? (thanks in advance to all serious replies) I'm serious Don't do anything you will regret, then live alone and bang strippers for the rest of you'r life. DCL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackout Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Frame her and get her the chair? That works. hahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slats Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Do everything you can to get over the anger. It's not worth it. Alternatively, do you have any friends who go deep sea fishing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenseed4 Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 I appreciate the kind words, gentlemen. Kill her with kindness...I get it. In college we once shaved a friar tuck patch off the back of a buddy's head. Totally legal. We hid 8 mackerel (fish) in a friend's car, making it smell horrific. Totally legal. I would like to get some (legal) revenge tactic suggestions to make me feel better on the inside. After that, I'll totally pretend to be her unaffected BFF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackout Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 I appreciate the kind words, gentlemen. Kill her with kindness...I get it. In college we once shaved a friar tuck patch off the back of a buddy's head. Totally legal. We hid 8 mackerel (fish) in a friend's car, making it smell horrific. Totally legal. I would like to get some (legal) revenge tactic suggestions to make me feel better on the inside. After that, I'll totally pretend to be her unaffected BFF. Leave a flaming bag of you know what on her doorstep and ring the doorbell....1950's style Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larz Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I only committed 1 act of revenge. sand in the gas tank. I was 15, and he was 17, and I thought he was a doo doo head. never saw that car in his driveway again sorry dude no, not really, you totally deserved it, you know what you did not legal, but revenge isn't legal without a better lawyer than hers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayNoToDMC Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 You just need to show her you can be the man she wants to change you into. A better man, one worthy of her love. You should take her on a dream vacation, a boat trip around the world. Just you and her. Then when you're posted up outside of Somalia you look into her eyes and tell her you love her. You tell her you're going up top to get some Champaign you put on ice for a toast to make the moment perfect. That's when you flood the engine, put up a flag of the prophet Muhammad butt ******* a goat, perhaps chum the water with some money and disappear off into the horizon. She'll feel totally stupid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peebag Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Turn gay. It will attack her womanhood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerryK Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Go to a WNBA game, and get someone to write her phone# on the women's bathroom wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerryK Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Did she get the house? Halloween's coming up, do some friendly trick-or-treating. Convert this... Into this: And fill it with this: On your way to the porch, take some long circles in the yard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Don't do anything you will regret, then live alone and bang strippers for the rest of you'r life. DCL . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 How was the soccer game? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Bit Special Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Turn gay. It will attack her womanhood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no psls Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Wipe your ass with the divorce papers and mail them back to her . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Says a lot about the situation that she got the mother-in-law involved you should try and have an affair with her (regardless of her looks and age) just for the hell of it and get pics and video and rub that in her face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet_Engine1 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 **** her sister. Revenge on all parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no psls Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Make your ex-wife sit next to SAR 1 for a whole football game !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetPotato Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Sounds to me your best bet is to just be yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no psls Posted July 3, 2016 Share Posted July 3, 2016 On 6/30/2016 at 1:54 PM, JetPotato said: Sounds to me your best bet is to just be yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southparkcpa Posted July 3, 2016 Share Posted July 3, 2016 On 9/22/2013 at 2:33 AM, #27TheDominator said: ...but stabbing is good too. OJ is that you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southparkcpa Posted July 3, 2016 Share Posted July 3, 2016 Sorry to douche it up.... but she is the mother of your children (child). She will have their ear and bad mouth you at every turn as many women do. I see it all the time in my CPA practice. I see and literally testify under subpoena about once a year in divorce cases. Kids are impressionable and will believe her. Move on, live a good and happy life and in the end that is your best revenge. I am divorced, pretty happy and the kids see that. They absolutely see my side of it now. When they were teenagers they saw it differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snell41 Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 My wife and I fight a lot. When she was pregnant, and pissed me off, I once took all of the TV remote controls with me to work. I thought that was the most brilliant revenge tactic in the history of time. I guess I could've just hit her, but she was pregnant. The thought of her having to get up every time the channel sucked made me happy inside. And I'm happy to share that experience with you all. I recently dated a girl (spoiler alert: marriage fail) who related a story about an ex-boyfriend, whom she deprived of toilet paper (and all other paper products) in her attempt to enact revenge. I thought that was brilliant. Gross, but brilliant. Earlier today, at my son's soccer game, my former mother-in-law served me with divorce paperwork. The language is pretty ugly and has me feeling all riled up, and whatnot...Homicide is the obvious go-to, but supposing I go another direction, I thought I would vent myself on this (this) message board, and yield suggestions from the intelligent posters who have been in similar situations. How can I f^ck my soon to be ex-wife, without f^cking my soon to be ex-wife? (thanks in advance to all serious replies) I'm serious Get over it. Seriously, from experience. Any amount of anger or emotion you exhibit whatsoever shows you still care on some level which gives her ammunition. Move on, do not get angry. If you have children their mother is a necessity you must deal with for the rest of your life. What my ex is to me is simply a cashier at a supermarket. I have no feelings for her, will forget completely about her the moment my transaction is complete, and treat her as nothing more than a stranger who has to hand over something of value to me (my child). I don't badmouth her, I don't think about her the moment she is out of my sight, and I don't give a second thought to her on any level except when dealing with issues of my child. As for the divorce, if you're in NJ it's a no fault state so feel free to put your dick in whatever you like. Stay away from drugs and fight for fair custody and fair child support. My fight cost me 40k in legal fees and every penny I had saved in joint accounts with her, as well as 100k of equity I had in the home we owned. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 On 10/20/2013 at 8:55 AM, Maxman said: How was the soccer game? Too soon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snell41 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Get over it. Seriously, from experience. Any amount of anger or emotion you exhibit whatsoever shows you still care on some level which gives her ammunition. Move on, do not get angry. If you have children their mother is a necessity you must deal with for the rest of your life. What my ex is to me is simply a cashier at a supermarket. I have no feelings for her, will forget completely about her the moment my transaction is complete, and treat her as nothing more than a stranger who has to hand over something of value to me (my child). I don't badmouth her, I don't think about her the moment she is out of my sight, and I don't give a second thought to her on any level except when dealing with issues of my child. As for the divorce, if you're in NJ it's a no fault state so feel free to put your dick in whatever you like. Stay away from drugs and fight for fair custody and fair child support. My fight cost me 40k in legal fees and every penny I had saved in joint accounts with her, as well as 100k of equity I had in the home we owned. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk I will add it was worth every penny for me. I have 50/50 custody and pay fair child support. That's all I wanted in the end. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Sew shrimp leftovers at the bottom of her curtains. It will take months to find where the smell is coming from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 I'm going to go ahead and guess that she was not the problem in that relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Hack her wifi and illegally download a couple of hundred of songs, then inform the FBI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 On July 7, 2016 at 10:02 AM, RaoulDuke said: Sew shrimp leftovers at the bottom of her curtains. It will take months to find where the smell is coming from. Sew? If he can sew no wonder she dumped him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no psls Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 Go to starbucks and put up a poster stating that there are Pokemon figures in your ex-wife's backyard . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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