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4 minutes ago, Lizard King said:

What are the odds that this game lasts until 8/25 and I end up posting a few times again from the delivery room? Something about mafia and having children going hand in hand in my life.

Congrats by the way - our 2nd is due in October. :)

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10 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

This. 

The day for me looks like this:

  • 600am - kid wakes up
  • 700am - alarm goes off
  • 800am - get everyone out of the house and drop kid off at daycare
  • 1.5 hours in traffic
  • 7 hours at work
  • 1.5 hours in traffic
  • 600pm - dinner
  • 700pm - quality time with kid/wife
  • 800pm - kid to bed, workout in home gym
  • 900pm - try to make up for work i didn't get done in office
  • 1000pm - bed

I spend all day trying to stay awake, without using caffeine - then when the time comes where I can actually sleep - my body doesn't want to down-shift. Especially with night time workouts. So, I've had to try some stuff to improve sleep quality. It is what it is.

Not fishing for sympathy - many of us have lives like this, and many of us fall into a pattern of sleep deprivation over time. 

We have similar days... My commute is a little shorter at 60 minutes but it's an update to my schedule and been a real drain. At least you're working out - I used to in the morning instead of at night. I had some real life stuff pop up back in April that I had to take work off to deal with, and now my motivation currently for working out is shot. I am hoping the fog clears out soon, maybe a couple more weeks to a month if I'm lucky. Working out is important when you're living a busy life.

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Just now, Lizard King said:

We have similar days... My commute is a little shorter at 60 minutes but it's been a real drain. At least you're working out - I used to in the morning instead of at night. I had some real life stuff pop up back in April that I had to take work off to deal with, and now my motivation currently for working out is shot. I am hoping the fog clears out soon, maybe a couple more weeks to a month if I'm lucky. Working out is important when you're living a busy life.

Yea, I think it might be pre-mid-life crisis... but in January I started really busting my ass and built a home gym. I had gone years without really working out. I dunno, now I can't go a few days without it - it makes me stir crazy to skip. The past couple weeks I haven't been able to because I've had food poisoning too - I'm starting back up today.

I basically stopped watching television - almost completely - in order to make room for the workouts. Sorry, you had RL sh*t derail you. Good luck getting back on a routine.

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7 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

Yea, I think it might be pre-mid-life crisis... but in January I started really busting my ass and built a home gym. I had gone years without really working out. I dunno, now I can't go a few days without it - it makes me stir crazy to skip. The past couple weeks I haven't been able to because I've had food poisoning too - I'm starting back up today.

I basically stopped watching television - almost completely - in order to make room for the workouts. Sorry, you had RL sh*t derail you. Good luck getting back on a routine.

Thanks. Yeah my in-laws sold their house and actually gave us an Arc Trainer so I have literally no excuse other than being kinda down in the dumps lately. Been a huge problem with work too just no motivation.  I know it'll pass, just waiting patiently.

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39 minutes ago, Lizard King said:

Thanks. Yeah my in-laws sold their house and actually gave us an Arc Trainer so I have literally no excuse other than being kinda down in the dumps lately. Been a huge problem with work too just no motivation.  I know it'll pass, just waiting patiently.

Been there. Time doesn't always heal, but it certainly helps reset sometimes. :)

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23 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

Been there. Time doesn't always heal, but it certainly helps reset sometimes. :)

I'm taking a long weekend and going to the beach. Hoping that'll help.

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1 minute ago, Lizard King said:

I'm taking a long weekend and going to the beach. Hoping that'll help.

Salt water is good for the soul. 

Enjoy!

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3 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

Beimg a young Dad is tuffest thing any dude can do. Brutal  lack of me time, brutal  lack of sleep and the realization your penis is no longer the wife's number one priority. I'm on the opposite end. One daughter getting married next year, one daughter becoming a college freshman, one son a college sophomore, one son a college junior and youngest daughter a high school sophomore .

Interesting thing is as tough as it is it really go's by so fast. People always told me that and I never believed them. It really does. Do what ever you can to not miss a minute of it. Once they get older you slowly get your me time back and realize " **** me time", because believe it or not you miss the days of them dominating your life.

You always know who you are, what you do and what you do it for...  You are Daddy, you do everything and you do it for them. No matter how hard it gets enjoy it and never take it for granted, because it's fleeting.

Then you go from Daddy to Dad. Daddy changes diapers - Dad makes sure the air in their car tires are full, the inspections are current and oil changes are current. Daddy gives long warm hugs that cure everything - Dads give quick chest bump hugs and hope it helps. Daddy knows all the answer and knows what's best - Dad be guessing like a mother****er and learns as he go's. Daddy teaches them to play sports and practices daily with them - Dad realizes they are getting better than him and Blames that on his two post surgical knees. Daddy puts away and saves for their future and education - Dad makes sure they appreciate it and contribute to themselves as well.

No matter be it Daddy or Dad you worry about them, you love them and realize the longer you are a parent the less you know about parenting. The answers and advice become fluid and most of the time it's better to be patient than right. Trust Crushlove on that. 

Top 3 post I've ever read on the subject. This is great.

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8 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

Beimg a young Dad is tuffest thing any dude can do. Brutal  lack of me time, brutal  lack of sleep and the realization your penis is no longer the wife's number one priority. I'm on the opposite end. One daughter getting married next year, one daughter becoming a college freshman, one son a college sophomore, one son a college junior and youngest daughter a high school sophomore .

Interesting thing is as tough as it is it really go's by so fast. People always told me that and I never believed them. It really does. Do what ever you can to not miss a minute of it. Once they get older you slowly get your me time back and realize " **** me time", because believe it or not you miss the days of them dominating your life.

You always know who you are, what you do and what you do it for...  You are Daddy, you do everything and you do it for them. No matter how hard it gets enjoy it and never take it for granted, because it's fleeting.

Then you go from Daddy to Dad. Daddy changes diapers - Dad makes sure the air in their car tires are full, the inspections are current and oil changes are current. Daddy gives long warm hugs that cure everything - Dads give quick chest bump hugs and hope it helps. Daddy knows all the answer and knows what's best - Dad be guessing like a mother****er and learns as he go's. Daddy teaches them to play sports and practices daily with them - Dad realizes they are getting better than him and Blames that on his two post surgical knees. Daddy puts away and saves for their future and education - Dad makes sure they appreciate it and contribute to themselves as well.

No matter be it Daddy or Dad you worry about them, you love them and realize the longer you are a parent the less you know about parenting. The answers and advice become fluid and most of the time it's better to be patient than right. Trust Crushlove on that. 

Man are we wired similarly. Cracks me up. 

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2 hours ago, Integrity28 said:

This. 

The day for me looks like this:

  • 600am - kid wakes up
  • 700am - alarm goes off
  • 800am - get everyone out of the house and drop kid off at daycare
  • 1.5 hours in traffic
  • 7 hours at work
  • 1.5 hours in traffic
  • 600pm - dinner
  • 700pm - quality time with kid/wife
  • 800pm - kid to bed, workout in home gym
  • 900pm - try to make up for work i didn't get done in office
  • 1000pm - bed

I spend all day trying to stay awake, without using caffeine - then when the time comes where I can actually sleep - my body doesn't want to down-shift. Especially with night time workouts. So, I've had to try some stuff to improve sleep quality. It is what it is.

Not fishing for sympathy - many of us have lives like this, and many of us fall into a pattern of sleep deprivation over time. 

3 hours in traffic each day?  Blow my brains out now.  **** that.  That's literally spending a few days worth of time each year in traffic.  Dont get how people do that everyday.

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4 minutes ago, JiF said:

3 hours in traffic each day?  Blow my brains out now.  **** that.  That's literally spending a few days worth of time each year in traffic.  Dont get how people do that everyday.

Real estate up here is expensive and moving closer to work isn't always an option. Pain in the tail trying to move too.

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12 minutes ago, JiF said:

3 hours in traffic each day?  Blow my brains out now.  **** that.  That's literally spending a few days worth of time each year in traffic.  Dont get how people do that everyday.

You've known me since the JI days, when I lived in Indiana.

I made $26,000 / year out there and I busted my ass doing 4-jobs-in-1 (art director, web developer, biz dev, and network admin). Sat in traffic to drive 6 miles in 35 miles there.

I make 6-figures now, am able to focus on 1 area of expertise. The trade-off is it takes 1 hour to go 15 miles. (The extra half hour is daycare drop-off/pick-up.)

Given my chosen profession, I have to be in a metropolitan area if I want to do well. This is the trade-off. 

I'm 100% with you though... it's soul crushing.

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9 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

You've known me since the JI days, when I lived in Indiana.

I made $26,000 / year out there and I busted my ass doing 4-jobs-in-1 (art director, web developer, biz dev, and network admin). Sat in traffic to drive 6 miles in 35 miles there.

I make 6-figures now, am able to focus on 1 area of expertise. The trade-off is it takes 1 hour to go 15 miles. (The extra half hour is daycare drop-off/pick-up.)

Given my chosen profession, I have to be in a metropolitan area if I want to do well. This is the trade-off. 

I'm 100% with you though... it's soul crushing.

That kind of congestion would have me reconsidering my life. I don't know how you do it.

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1 hour ago, Lizard King said:

That kind of congestion would have me reconsidering my life. I don't know how you do it.

I don't give myself too much time to think about it. My wife commutes with me, so at least we use that time to talk to each other. 

I used to take the train, but she's been pregnant the better part of the past 2.5 years - 3 miscarriages and this pregnancy - so I drive her in when that's the case. I think I'll eventually get back to taking the train. It involves a nice long walk as part of that commute, which is great for checking out city girls and getting some exercise.

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1 hour ago, Lizard King said:

Real estate up here is expensive and moving closer to work isn't always an option. Pain in the tail trying to move too.

 

1 hour ago, Integrity28 said:

You've known me since the JI days, when I lived in Indiana.

I made $26,000 / year out there and I busted my ass doing 4-jobs-in-1 (art director, web developer, biz dev, and network admin). Sat in traffic to drive 6 miles in 35 miles there.

I make 6-figures now, am able to focus on 1 area of expertise. The trade-off is it takes 1 hour to go 15 miles. (The extra half hour is daycare drop-off/pick-up.)

Given my chosen profession, I have to be in a metropolitan area if I want to do well. This is the trade-off. 

I'm 100% with you though... it's soul crushing.

I get it.  It's the same reason we lived on Long Island and my pops commuted into the city every single day.  That commute, was miserable.  Car to the LRI, LRI to the Subway, Subway to the World Trade Center.  Gross.  

When I lived in Seattle it was this way too.  To live on the other side of Lake Washington in or around Seattle was expensive.  You got so much more bang for you buck on the opposite side of the Lake but then you had to cross the bridge which became a parking lot during rush hour.  I lasted a year (for some other reasons too) but I'll never live like that again.  I'm in sales, I can sell anywhere.  I dont need to be tied to a major market, per say.  Sure, if I lived in one of those major markets I could make even more but life style > career for me.  All day, every day.  I make enough anyway but it would still be this way if I wasnt making the money I do. 

1 hour to go 15 miles?  I would legit pull a Michael Douglas in Falling Down. 

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

I don't give myself too much time to think about it. My wife commutes with me, so at least we use that time to talk to each other. 

I used to take the train, but she's been pregnant the better part of the past 2.5 years - 3 miscarriages and this pregnancy - so I drive her in when that's the case. I think I'll eventually get back to taking the train. It involves a nice long walk as part of that commute, which is great for checking out city girls and getting some exercise.

I don't miss the train for the reasons JiF outlined below, but I do think it's nice that you and your wife can drive in together. That's more time together than you'd normally get based on your day.

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2 hours ago, The Crusher said:

Beimg a young Dad is tuffest thing any dude can do. Brutal  lack of me time, brutal  lack of sleep and the realization your penis is no longer the wife's number one priority. I'm on the opposite end. One daughter getting married next year, one daughter becoming a college freshman, one son a college sophomore, one son a college junior and youngest daughter a high school sophomore .

Interesting thing is as tough as it is it really go's by so fast. People always told me that and I never believed them. It really does. Do what ever you can to not miss a minute of it. Once they get older you slowly get your me time back and realize " **** me time", because believe it or not you miss the days of them dominating your life.

You always know who you are, what you do and what you do it for...  You are Daddy, you do everything and you do it for them. No matter how hard it gets enjoy it and never take it for granted, because it's fleeting.

Then you go from Daddy to Dad. Daddy changes diapers - Dad makes sure the air in their car tires are full, the inspections are current and oil changes are current. Daddy gives long warm hugs that cure everything - Dads give quick chest bump hugs and hope it helps. Daddy knows all the answer and knows what's best - Dad be guessing like a mother****er and learns as he go's. Daddy teaches them to play sports and practices daily with them - Dad realizes they are getting better than him and Blames that on his two post surgical knees. Daddy puts away and saves for their future and education - Dad makes sure they appreciate it and contribute to themselves as well.

No matter be it Daddy or Dad you worry about them, you love them and realize the longer you are a parent the less you know about parenting. The answers and advice become fluid and most of the time it's better to be patient than right. Trust Crushlove on that. 

Thanks for linking me to this post... I'm not crying, you're crying.

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My commute is about 50 minutes each way including a walk.  I don't mind it as I read my Kindle and it's really some of the only quiet/personal time I get these days.  As I transition from my day job to self-employment, I'll get more time back, but I will miss my commute for that reason.  One day a week I go to the gym directly after work as well as one morning per weekend.  

Parenting is terrifying.  My daughter recently discovered picking her nose, and yesterday morning we came in the room to see her, we found her in a pretty large pool of blood.  She was happy as could be, but imagine that image...  I was shaken all day.

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3 minutes ago, gEYno said:

My commute is about 50 minutes each way including a walk.  I don't mind it as I read my Kindle and it's really some of the only quiet/personal time I get these days.  As I transition from my day job to self-employment, I'll get more time back, but I will miss my commute for that reason.  One day a week I go to the gym directly after work as well as one morning per weekend.  

Parenting is terrifying.  My daughter recently discovered picking her nose, and yesterday morning we came in the room to see her, we found her in a pretty large pool of blood.  She was happy as could be, but imagine that image...  I was shaken all day.

That's a horrible image.

You're playing, right?

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1 hour ago, gEYno said:

My commute is about 50 minutes each way including a walk.  I don't mind it as I read my Kindle and it's really some of the only quiet/personal time I get these days.  As I transition from my day job to self-employment, I'll get more time back, but I will miss my commute for that reason.  One day a week I go to the gym directly after work as well as one morning per weekend.  

Parenting is terrifying.  My daughter recently discovered picking her nose, and yesterday morning we came in the room to see her, we found her in a pretty large pool of blood.  She was happy as could be, but imagine that image...  I was shaken all day.

Did she get the booger or not? 

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