GreenBeans Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Welcome to the first POTW of the regular season. As your host, I'd like to thank all of those that made nominations this week - there are some great posts in this week's edition of POTW. As a bonus feature, we're going to steal and slightly modify Coach Mangini's "Practice Player of the Week". POTW will now include "Assist of the Week" for the poster (not the winner) who had a big impact on POTW nominations for the week. Anyhow, let's get on with it. The nominations this week were: Originally Posted by Sharrow This discussion is more proof that the DH should be gone from baseball. Not even AL fans respect the "position." All it is is a handicap. AL fans only want to keep it cause it gives them an advantage over the NL. ------ Originally Posted by SoFlaJets here's my grade....W ------ Originally Posted by Jetsfan80 Tom Brady challenged Lance Armstrong to a contest of "who has more testicles"? Brady won by 5. Tom Brady once ate two 72-lbs. steaks in an hour, the only known human being to accomplish the feat. He spent the first 45 minutes banging the waiter. Tom Brady isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Tom Brady. Tom Brady's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Tom Brady doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Tom Brady lost his virginity before his dad did. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Tom Brady instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. Tom Brady does not sleep. He waits. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Tom Brady. The chief export of Tom Brady is pain. If you cannot see Tom Brady, you may be only seconds from death. Will all of these facts, there is no way the Jets can beat the Patriots in week 2. Not happening. ------ Originally Posted by afosomf I guarantee a win vs the overrated chowds this weekend why you might say 1) Pats are terribly overated, Very Good at DL, average at LB and weak in secondary. Also the OL blows...ask Cindy. The WR's may be the worst in NFL history 2) The Jets look like a real NFL franchise now, Mangini and his staff actually had a plan and it confused a veteran like Collins. He knows the Pats playbook and will come up with something... I am confident of that 3) Brad Smith will be a big part of gameplan this weekend, this kid will be a star in NFL and may end up being the jets best pick of the draft. I would not be surprised to see him play a few plays at QB this weekend 4) Chad actually looked like a NFL QB last week. His passes actually had some zip, In fact i went to fridge for a beer and Coles was already running with football. Last year i had time to make a sandwich.... 5) Herm is gone... Not a gimme game for Mumbles this week, no time to play golf this week. he has to work this week! 6) the Score Jets 21 Pats 17 Brad Smith scores winning TD on a trickeration!!!!! Make some money and take the 5.5 pts, it is a gift! ------ Originally Posted by afosomf 4) Chad actually looked like a NFL QB last week. His passes actually had some zip, In fact i went to fridge for a beer and Coles was already running with football. Last year i had time to make a sandwich.... ------ (Topic: Nice rack on Parcells?) Originally Posted by Green DNA Holy crap! When he jogged across the field after the Jags game, his man teets were bouncing up and down. The guy is a mess, he looks like a she-male. Either put a bra on or get a procedure to cut those things off. Jeez. Originally Posted by JerryK The good news is, they won't hurt his golf swing. Sincerely, Phil Mickelson (Editor's note: ROFLMAO!) ------ Originally Posted by Max I have a feeling he suddenly started talking about the torpedos that were used back in WWII. And how they don't make them like that anymore. ------ Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards ------ Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards MARK CANNIZZARO'S JETS REPORT CARD By MARK CANNIZZARO September 12, 2006 -- [This article curiously didn't write any grades in the "report card"] Originally Posted by mbn007 After reading his stuff over these past many years, I am not surprised........... Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards Maybe they are only visible in the $55 version. ------ (Topic: Chrith Thimms is awethome) Originally Posted by blackout806 either way he has superbowl champion quarterback in his DNA Originally Posted by shutout And if the assumptions made in this thread are correct,he's also had super bowl champion coach's dna in him at some point as well (Editor's Note: EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww) ------ Originally Posted by strange_andy The Jets went out on the field and beat an NFL team with professional football players on Sunday. Originally Posted by PatsFanTX Yea, but look who they played. Originally Posted by Max At least they didn't win by some fluke safety. Now that would be terrible. ------ Originally Posted by PatsFanTX Hey lag, what did you think of Nugent's performance yesterday? Originally Posted by johnny green balls while disappointing, we're afraid to cut him because he'd be signed the next day as the pats' #2 receiver. ------ Originally Posted by GreenMachine 2 years in a row that Herm's team looks like **** in Arrowhead.... ------ Originally Posted by Max Chad in the opener: 21/27 - 342 yards - 3 TDs - 0 Int You heard it here first. End of story. Originally Posted by Max BUMP August 3rd. I posted this on August 3rd. Why you guys would read any other source of Jets News is beyond me. I called it!!! Chad is the MAN!!! (Editor's Note: NNNNNnnniniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeee!) ------ Originally Posted by GreenBeans Not too bad for an egg, huh? ------ Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards Hey Kevin you've got egg on your face. ------ Originally Posted by The Troll Jay Cutler will be, far and away, the best QB of this draft class. He is the only one that will ever be able to make something out of nothing. He went into the perfect situation for him, a situation where he HAS something. Cutler will be a star in Denver. Leinart will do very well with all those weapons. People like PhinsSuck and PeterNorth will attribute that to him being so ****ing awesome, when in actuallity, Leinart is just talented enough to succeed whenever he is surrounded by talent. Throw him on the Niners and he's Trent Dilfer. Put him in Arizona and he's Drew Brees. However, Vince Young could have a team of AFC Pro Bowlers around him and he would still be a slower Michael Vick with a ****ty throwing motion. ------ Originally Posted by Max Chad in the opener: 21/27 - 342 yards - 3 TDs - 0 Int You heard it here first. End of story. Originally Posted by PatsFanTX PennyBoy only has 2 300 yard games in his entire career. He's not getting his 3rd versus the Titans. (Editor's Note: BbbbbbbbwwwwwwwwwwwwwwHHHHhhhhhahahahahaa) ------ (Topic: It's Here) Originally Posted by 80 It's Here. The time for which we've endured the doldrums of winter and the swelter of summer. It's Here. The moment we've awaited in nervous but excited anticipation. It's Here. The dawning of a new tomorrow in New York Jets Football. The 2006 Opener. It's Here. Originally Posted by The Troll Where is Ham? He does this better. ------ Originally Posted by SteveNap Let me remind you people of who you are. You are Jet fans. Jet fans do not root for draft picks. Jet fans do not need thunder sticks to get loud. Jet fans do not need to play dress up to get into their game (coughOaklandcough). We bleed green. We are what the NFL is all about. We define passion. Time and time again we have stood there in the freezing cold and have gotten our hearts ripped out. But we came back for more. Just when you thought we were going to reach our almighty goal of the Superbowl, we were slapped in the face by reality and pushed down to the ground. But we have always dusted ourselves off and got back up. The unbelievably miserable losses in the most heartbreaking fashion, the injuries to key players at the worst time, the bad draft picks, the bad coaches, the bad signings, the botched stadium plans, this is what we have endured. We’ve endured all of this and we are still here! We still show up! We still scream! Screw the Cubs and their loveable loser fans, they had one Bartman incident and just sucked most of the time not to win their championship. OUR WHOLE HISTORY IS FULL OF BARTMAN INCIDENTS! You couldn’t write some of this stuff in a novel! WE PLAY IN GIANTS STADIUM IN NEW JERSEY FOR GODS SAKE! And we still got that house rocking louder than those 70 year old season ticket holders could ever dream of! Why? Because we are Jet fans damn it and we are some sick and nutty individuals!! This year I want you to cheer like you’ve never cheered before and show this team that we are behind them 110% like we always have, through thick and thin! We’re gonna show our true colors to our new coaching staff and new players and give them a reason to go out there and give it every ounce of energy they have. We do not know any other way. This is New York and we do not lay down for anybody, not even Adrian Peterson. Who’s with me? ------ Originally Posted by jetheelz Doggystyle was invented in the south..that way both people can still watch the nascar race (Editor's Note: Don't ever invite me over to watch the race again...) ------ Originally Posted by #27TheDominator Leinart is in the other league. If he were on the Patriots in addition to being a crappy prospect with a chicken arm and bad attitude, he'd also be gay. ------ (Runner-up of the Week Sponsored by PatsFanT) Originally Posted by Garb Being serious for a moment here: Does it matter? The exposure was good enough. People will check out the sites and make their own decision. They will peruse for content, posters/people and graphics. I can't pledge for the content or the graphics - there are people here with far superior football knowledge, and graphics, to me anyway, is really a matter of taste. But I will say this, the posters (with the exception of one or two I don't like ), the moderators, the people that contribute with articles, the people who set the rules or break the rules, the people - almost everyone - with the most fabulous array of humor, is what makes this place great. "Surfers" will see that. ------ Originally Posted by JerryK Why couldn't this have been Paris Hilton? Originally Posted by 124 I'm sure he has bigger tits then Hilton. Hell most do. ------ Originally Posted by PFSIKH The never ending love affair with Peyton is sickening. Just about all of ESPN's "experts" picked the Colts. . Originally Posted by JonEJet Tom Bradys vagina say hi ------ (Topic: A way to improve the JN experience) Originally Posted by The Troll I'm all for turning off that ****ing swear filter, though. Originally Posted by Gainzo With you on that. The ****ing swear filter pisses me off to no end. I swear all the time. It sucks **** I can't swear on a ****ing message board. ------ Originally Posted by Green DNA Guide to Dumping At Work For those who hate taking a dump at work, below is a Survival Guide to get you through the process. CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. FLY BY The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. ESCAPEE A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. WALK OF SHAME Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door After you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH. OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. SAFE HAVENS A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. ASTAIRE A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. WATERMELON A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. HAVANA OMELET A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire. UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. ------ Originally Posted by SeniorFlaJet Was Coles a Capt. last year??? The games I went to last year I never bother looking at who walked out on the field. Originally Posted by GreenMachine Neither did Herm. ------ Originally Posted by PatsFanTX I've made a ton of so called "friends" on both JI and JN. What I would never do/say is make a determination "who would NOT be my friend" based on exchanges on a message board. 99 times out of 100, disagreements/bad feelings come from differing opinions on message boards. Hell, for all I know, you and your Florida colleagues would be a great bunch of guys to sit around and drink a beer with. Hell, I consider Max a friend of mine but he could turn out to be a real A-Hole in real life. My point is, there is friendship and there is internet friendship. Both are mutually exclusive of each other. Originally Posted by JetFanFL Why don't you fly up for the Jets/Pats game...I'm a scotch guy msyelf. Originally Posted by Garb Don't do it, TX. Take it from me. Don't do it. ------ And this week's winner of POTW: Originally Posted by JetsMan57 And I just read Herm broke a long tradition by making the team wear white at home yesterday. I didnt know this until I read the KC papers, but it was the first time the Chiefs wore white at home EVER. The Red Jerseys are supposedly a big tradition for CHiefs home games as the whole city wears red the Friday before every game and the Chiefs have a great home record. This pissed Chiefs fans off. BUt thats herm for ya, he cant put together a solid game plaN or manage a game so he is always reverting to trivial nonsense like wearing white at home because of the hot weather (something you shouldnt have to worry about if your condition your team in camp instead of having BBQs), even if he has to break a long proud-tradition, in order to try and win a game. A 4th rounder for this guy? How unfair. The League should ask us to give it back ------ As we ring in a new era of New York Jets football, this post speaks volumes about the make-up of peole who call themselves Jets fans. We fans survived the greatest deception (in pro football, at least) of the 21st Century. Now that we are free of Herman Edwards and his book of quotes, let's look forward to a Jets team that is hard-working, intelligently lead, focused, and ultimately successful (we hope). Congrats to JetsMan57 on his POTW victory! One other matter for this week - Garb was REAL close to winning POTW (not that she would have cared, of course) this week with her post about JN. I think it was a perfect summation of this community of flunkies. The first ever Assist of the Week award goes to The Troll for his many nominations and several setup posts for other nominations. Troll deserves to win something after his efforts this week, so here it is - the first ever AOTW. Thanks Troll! Finally, BEAT THE STINKIN' PATS! J-E-T-S jets, JEts, JETS! See y'all next week - enjoy the game! gb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Congrats 57 on the win. I liked Johnny Green Balls line about Nugent being the Pats # 2 receiver. That was good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny green balls Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Congrats 57 on the win. I liked Johnny Green Balls line about Nugent being the Pats # 2 receiver. That was good. thanks max-- that means a lot more than green beans' arbitrary b.s. "award" ps: yo, green beans, did my check not reach you in time??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 johnny Green balls was robbed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garb Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 So Beans, what you are really saying is that the only reason I did not win is because I'm a Pats fan. I can live with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetCane Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Good job 57 That was a great comback by Johnny. Compared to the other photo posted of this guy, he looks quite pale here. Wonder where all the blood is rushing to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenBeans Posted September 13, 2006 Author Share Posted September 13, 2006 So Beans, what you are really saying is that the only reason I did not win is because I'm a Pats fan. I can live with that. Nope - if you made that post last week you would have won, chick pea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garb Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Nope - if you made that post last week you would have won, chick pea. Oh, so what your are really saying is that t*ts beat out harmony, love, intellect, humor, unity and sanity. In this crazy, messed-up world, I'm 'gonna have to live with that. LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoFlaJets Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 as a loser...again-I say; it's all about the nomination-right Garb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 thanks max-- that means a lot more than green beans' arbitrary b.s. "award" ps: yo, green beans, did my check not reach you in time??? yes it did son,, and John and I had a Large Cheese Pizza on your money at Amedios this Sunday. Then we laughed about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
124 Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Alriiiiight!!! 2 weeks in a row nominated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny green balls Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 yes it did son,, and John and I had a Large Cheese Pizza on your money at Amedios this Sunday. Then we laughed about it. you got a whole cheese pizza for 17 cents? this amedios place sounds like a real dump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Good job 57 That was a great comback by Johnny. Compared to the other photo posted of this guy, he looks quite pale here. Wonder where all the blood is rushing to? I heard he was playing taps. Yet there was no horn and his lips apparently weren't moving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenBeans Posted September 13, 2006 Author Share Posted September 13, 2006 Oh, so what your are really saying is that t*ts beat out harmony, love, intellect, humor, unity and sanity. In this crazy, messed-up world, I'm 'gonna have to live with that. LOL! t*ts, a$$, whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 t*ts, a$$, c**k whatever. Beans, shhhhhhhh, wait til your company has same-sex Medical coverage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shutout Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 I'm honored that on this board,with all of the fine posters here,I was the one who got the "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww" attached to my post. No offense to 57,but I am personally more proud of disgusting this distinguished group than I am of the POTW I won way back when. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenBeans Posted September 13, 2006 Author Share Posted September 13, 2006 Beans, shhhhhhhh, wait til your company has same-sex Medical coverage Remember SJ, I work in The People's Republic of Chapel Hill - be careful what you say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenBeans Posted September 13, 2006 Author Share Posted September 13, 2006 I'm honored that on this board,with all of the fine posters here,I was the one who got the "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww" attached to my post. No offense to 57,but I am personally more proud of disgusting this distinguished group than I am of the POTW I won way back when. Ohhh Thoooop it right now, thillly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Troll Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 I am the John Stockton of JetNation. But much less gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Beans, shhhhhhhh, wait til your company has same-sex Medical coverage Yeah but each employee is only eligible once. There is no going back now has never been more true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Mine was submitted too late into the week for it to gain momentum. Oh well, always nice to be nominated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Yeah but each employee is only eligible once. There is no going back now has never been more true! isnt that supposed to read 'there is no going back-door now' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Remember SJ, I work in The People's Republic of Chapel Hill - be careful what you say. True, ,we still on for lunch to go get the new Judy Garland Remastered CD Set at Barnes and Noble? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Remember SJ, I work in The People's Republic of Chapel Hill - be careful what you say. ah true: http://www.wral.com/news/9843729/detail.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenBeans Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 True, ,we still on for lunch to go get the new Judy Garland Remastered CD Set at Barnes and Noble? Sunday at 4:15pm, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Sunday at 4:15pm, right? you got it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetheelz Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 I will be tagging along with you guys for that one also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 I will be tagging along with you guys for that one also. bad timing on that post,, see above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetheelz Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 bad timing on that post,, see above Not that there's anything wrong with that, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green DNA Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 you got it I will be tagging along with you guys for that one also. bad timing on that post,, see above :rl: Classic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenBeans Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 you got it Excellent! You did get a picture afterall! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gainzo Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 I am the John Stockton of JetNation. But much less gay. I know you walk around the house in those John Stockton style 80's shorts! Thanks for the assist. My first ever mention in POTW thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Excellent! You did get a picture afterall! yes, but we got JetHeelz in a tither Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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