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First Annual JetNation Tourney


Thor99

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Next up we have-

Barton vs. NightStalker

IrishJet vs. MBN007

BP vs. Lil Bit Special

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz

Barton wins be default since NS is no longer on the site.

IrishJet wins over MBN by simply out posting him.

BP beats Lil Bit Special. Lil Bit taps out after 30 seconds complaining about having hair in his teeth.

JetHeelz wins by wrapping SE in a superman cape and choking him out.

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Barton wins be default since NS is no longer on the site.

IrishJet wins over MBN by simply out posting him.

BP beats Lil Bit Special. Lil Bit taps out after 30 seconds complaining about having hair in his teeth.

JetHeelz wins by wrapping SE in a superman cape and choking him out.

Just found video of BP's win.

tmAxuvt6Jfw

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Barton vs. NightStalker- Barton, thinking he was on his class trip, shows up with a dozen roses. NightStalker taunts him and gets smacked in the face with the bouquet.

IrishJet vs. MBN007- This match is about quality versus quantity. mbn007 is quickly subdued under a mountain of smileys.

BP vs. Lil Bit Special- LBS uses the strategy of bringing a videocam to the ring, hoping that it will make the bigfoot run away. Unfortunately for him, the light shining off of the bald skull of bigfoot renders the camera inoperable. LBS never had a chance, BP is retard strong.

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz- Sperm, being one of the smartest posters in the tournament, hides an ounce of kryptonite in his trunks. Heelz is quickly subdued and is pinned.

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That's a good thing too because NS could probably kill Barton with his hands tied behind his back while standing on one leg. :lol:

I have a black belt in TKD, just sayin. Dont try and lure me into a house with 7 of your friends and beat me up, I'll go Miyagi on your a##es.

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That's a good thing too because NS could probably kill Barton with his hands tied behind his back while standing on one leg. :lol:

Because 70-year-old men are so badass, right? Still, Night-night wins by forfeit because Barty is too stupid to figure out where the ring is.

IrishJet over MBN because, well, he's Irish.

BP neg reps LBS until LBS loses his will to live.

Jetheelz uses his super strength to insert Spermie's pointy hat in the other end. Suddenly, Spermie knows what the hell this is.

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Joebabyny is going wild in the bullpen hulk-smashing everything and drinking the blood of a couger he killed and ripped in 2 with his bare hands as a warmup waiting for his match!

That's a terrible thing to do to a cougar, you sick ****. Tunacan makes snuff films, eh?

cattrall-kim-photo-xxl-kim-cattrall-6231190.jpg

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SJ taps out, wisely avoiding the second round match against Smizzy.

Hows that work? The 1 and the 2 are going to meet in Round 2? It should be like the NCAA Tournament. The 1-16 winner faces the 8-9 winner.

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Barton vs. NightStalker

IrishJet vs. MBN007

BP vs. Lil Bit Special

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz

Barton - NS no longer posts here.

IrishJet - He's Irish. He's a Drunk. He's Nuts. IJ wins.

BP - LBS is one crazy bastard for driving from Mass to NJ for every Jets home game, preseason and regular season, but he would still get lost in BP's hair.

Sperm Edwards - Jetheelz puts up a good fight with his star wars figures, but Sperm's math skills help him calculate a victory.

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Joebabyny is going wild in the bullpen hulk-smashing everything and drinking the blood of a couger he killed and ripped in 2 with his bare hands as a warmup waiting for his match!

Somehow I just can't see you Joe doing that to Bren. ;)

This matchup is probably the best one of the first round except for JonE vs PFSIKH.

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Barton vs. NightStalker: Barton starts off well, being young and is able to dance rings round NS, but he calls him dooshey once too often, NS pulls out a knife and guts him.

IrishJet vs. MBN007: IrishJet has a couple of spare Mark 12 mortars in his shed, left over from the Troubles. They're still finding scraps of MBN007 2 weeks later.

BP vs. Lil Bit Special: Lil Bit Special steals one of BP's beers. Big mistake. Like his cousin, Chewbacca, BP does that pulling out arms from their sockets thing.

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz: Longest match of the round, Sperm begins by explaining Thomas Jones' cap hit and what happens if the Jets do draft Gholston. Just as Heelz starts to doze off, Sperm pulls out some red krptonite. Shocked, Heelz starts to rip off his clothes, a la Superman, only thing is, he finds out he's not actually Superman. He then tells Sperm that the red krptonite won't have any effect after all, at which point Sperm uses it to cave Heelz's skull in.

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Barton vs. NightStalker: Barton starts off well, being young and is able to dance rings round NS, but he calls him dooshey once too often, NS pulls out a knife and guts him.

IrishJet vs. MBN007: IrishJet has a couple of spare Mark 12 mortars in his shed, left over from the Troubles. They're still finding scraps of MBN007 2 weeks later.

BP vs. Lil Bit Special: Lil Bit Special steals one of BP's beers. Big mistake. Like his cousin, Chewbacca, BP does that pulling out arms from their sockets thing.

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz: Longest match of the round, Sperm begins by explaining Thomas Jones' cap hit and what happens if the Jets do draft Gholston. Just as Heelz starts to doze off, Sperm pulls out some red krptonite. Shocked, Heelz starts to rip off his clothes, a la Superman, only thing is, he finds out he's not actually Superman. He then tells Sperm that the red krptonite won't have any effect after all, at which point Sperm uses it to cave Heelz's skull in.

Damn, I think I pulled something laughing at that post. :headbang:

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Hows that work? The 1 and the 2 are going to meet in Round 2? It should be like the NCAA Tournament. The 1-16 winner faces the 8-9 winner.

You're right. As everyone knows, I'm a complete idiot.

So who won in the 2 vs 15's?

So far IrishJet and BP have swept into the second round.

Barton is up 4-2 on NightStalker, and Sperm is up 4-2 on heelz.

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Somehow I just can't see you Joe doing that to Bren. ;)

This matchup is probably the best one of the first round except for JonE vs PFSIKH.

well we are talking about 2 different kinds of cougers here, but in my experience you need to play a little rough with both kinds ;)

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Next up we have-

Barton vs. NightStalker

IrishJet vs. MBN007

BP vs. Lil Bit Special

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz

I gotta go with NS because he probably knows 1001 ways to subdue someone and use their weaknesses against them.

IrishJet finds out there is free beer for the winner and headbutts MBNs nose into his brain stem and is chugging a pint before MBN hits the canvas.

Lil Bit tries to reason with BP and wear him down with banter, but BP covers his mouth and it is over quickly.

Sperm and Heelz battle for twelve hours straight, and just when the ref is about to declare a draw Spermy bashes Heelz over the head with the CBA manual and wraps him in a figure 4 leg lock. Heelz taps out.

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SouthernJet vs. NJ- In a stroke of genius, NJ shows up for the match wearing a gas mask and quickly overpowers the elderly gentleman from North Carolina. Unfortunately for NJ, SJ prepared for the match by eating raisins, beets, cabbage and kielbasa. There is no gas mask in the world that can keep those fumes out. Winner, SJ

SFJ vs. Serphnx-SFJ tried to bow out, claiming some mystery injury. However, he risked a breach of contract lawsuit if he didn't show. At the bell, SFJ lay down in the middle of the ring and Serphnx covers him for the easy pin. Lawsuit pending.

Faba vs. GM- In quite possibly the most violent match of the first round, faba goes at GM like a spider monkey. The video of this match was quickly taken down at Youtube for excessive violence. The things that faba did to GM are beyond description. Thoughts and prayers out to GM, who is still in the ICU at Beth Israel.

Alk vs. ShadowJet- In a back and forth match, ShadowJet risked disqualification when the masked wrestler known only as 'The Sister-in-Law' rushed the ring and attacked Alk. Alk was able to repel the attack and finished off Shadow with his signature move, 'The Garage Door Opener'.

I protest. Faba tried to give me the SHocker 13 times. I only liked it once.

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You're right. As everyone knows, I'm a complete idiot.

So far IrishJet and BP have swept into the second round.

Barton is up 4-2 on NightStalker, and Sperm is up 4-2 on heelz.

Yes but those are 3 vs 14. I'm talking 2 vs 15. Who were the winners?

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You're right. As everyone knows, I'm a complete idiot.

So far IrishJet and BP have swept into the second round.

Barton is up 4-2 on NightStalker, and Sperm is up 4-2 on heelz.

boy I got my ass kicked. Good thing I respect my opponent. It was an honor just to make the tourney. Its tough being a mid-major poster surrounded by such giants in the game. I thought I had a great game plan. But BP was too strong to overcome.

Now I tuck my tail back between my legs and make the slow walk back to Gasachusetts.

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Barton vs. NightStalker - Barton

IrishJet vs. MBN007 - Irish Jet

BP vs. Lil Bit Special - Lil Bit in tis one. He rips the hair off of BP's chest and he cries like a little girl

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz - Heelz pulls out his lightsaber and beats Spermy in the head with it. Heelz Wins

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Just found video of BP's win.

tmAxuvt6Jfw

Nice! I was thinking EXACTLY the same thing!

:rl:

BP vs. Lil Bit Special- LBS uses the strategy of bringing a videocam to the ring, hoping that it will make the bigfoot run away. Unfortunately for him, the light shining off of the bald skull of bigfoot renders the camera inoperable. LBS never had a chance, BP is retard strong.

:rolleyes::confused0058:

Barton vs. NightStalker: Barton starts off well, being young and is able to dance rings round NS, but he calls him dooshey once too often, NS pulls out a knife and guts him.

IrishJet vs. MBN007: IrishJet has a couple of spare Mark 12 mortars in his shed, left over from the Troubles. They're still finding scraps of MBN007 2 weeks later.

BP vs. Lil Bit Special: Lil Bit Special steals one of BP's beers. Big mistake. Like his cousin, Chewbacca, BP does that pulling out arms from their sockets thing.

Sperm Edwards vs. Jetheelz: Longest match of the round, Sperm begins by explaining Thomas Jones' cap hit and what happens if the Jets do draft Gholston. Just as Heelz starts to doze off, Sperm pulls out some red krptonite. Shocked, Heelz starts to rip off his clothes, a la Superman, only thing is, he finds out he's not actually Superman. He then tells Sperm that the red krptonite won't have any effect after all, at which point Sperm uses it to cave Heelz's skull in.

:rl:

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