This is an amusing review.
Got to hand it to the 80s metal gods that are still doing it. They have no other skills to fall back on and therefore no source of income so they milk it for all its worth.
Everything you said is exactly what id expect to see right down to the picks and empty cabs.
Sadly, i frequent this metal and rock site called blabbermouth.net and it is nothing but sad old washed up rock and metal guys giving their boring opinions on just about anything and commenting and promoting their new projects.
Kind of like if rudy sarzo, david coverdale, yngwie, carmine apice and the kb player from europe put out a record.
Then the bassist from humble pie will talk about trump. Then the singer from Anvil will offer his opinions on touring in 2018 and the music scene in general. Like an icepick in your eyes..... Why do i go there