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Sperm Edwards

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Everything posted by Sperm Edwards

  1. IIRC doesn't that have the side effect of disabling his multi-quote button? If so, as someone who regularly posts 16 paragraphs at a time, I agree @Warfish needs to take it asap. And given his multiple risk factors, if it makes him get/feel better fast, even better.
  2. hopefully it's nothing or next to nothing for you
  3. I only got as far as the first one & by then I'd seen enough: just 1 of 4 passing, plus he took a sack and fumbled, too. Pathetic. We've totally got this.
  4. Admittedly I wasn't banging the table for him, so the only dog I have in this race is the Jets picked him & I'm a Jets fan so I hope he's great. At least it's not a universal LOL from around the league, seeing how it would've surprised no one if he'd gone 10-15 picks higher. So if he does indeed flop it was at least a reasonable swing at the fences. We'll see what he is & what he isn't plenty soon.
  5. Well parroting what 500 more-famous websites & commentators have already said probably doesn't generate as many clicks
  6. I’m merging these last few and will dump future thread starter videos here no matter who’s posting them. Or we’ll just delete them if they get even more out of hand. Write out your thoughts so people can read them.
  7. I'm pretty confident I can still run a 40 in under 5 seconds. The bigger problem is these days my old ass would be on the ground sucking wind for 10 minutes after sprinting for that distance. So he'd still catch up unless he literally gave up pursuit, as though after 40 yards there's a wall that I could magically run through but he can't, like some real-life roadrunner/coyote scene. So I'd be ok for 40.9 yards (40 yards + 32.25"), so long as he stopped there, and also if Mrs. Sperm was at the finish line with an oxygen mask.
  8. The question before that was the dumbest of all: “How eager are you to get back?” I mean, seriously. Unless you’re a teacher testing someone’s knowledge - or a fluff question for PR purposes - the purpose of asking a question is to hear an answer you didn’t already know would follow. Like was there even a 1 in 100 million chance he’d say anything like, “Well really I’m not really very eager to be back.”
  9. I’m just very happy Linda Baum has taken hold as the nickname. If I ever meet him I plan to call him that right to his bitch face. Then in case he tries to take a cheap shot at me I’ll just stand 31.25” away and will be totally safe.
  10. ~17% of his contract is paid out of state on road games; ~83% of it's paid in NJ. It's half his salary but it's not nearly about half the contract amount.
  11. Posters here, the players, or both? I vote both, unless it's literally people joking about this silliness.
  12. I was thinking the reception distribution would be more like: 2 at Brooklake Country Club 1 at Westmount Country Club 3 at Crystal Plaza 2 at The Hanover Manor and the rest tba.
  13. As though I needed another reason to watch games with the TV sound off.
  14. See what you touched upon here is what really bugs me about this thread, and everyone's thinking it but no one's saying it. Bronx didn't call Favre a scumbag. He didn't call him scum. He called him a scum: Brett Favre is a scum. I just can't get on board with that -- @Bronx really, who talks like that?
  15. I think I can help you understand. While undressed, one night their grandma and grandpa decided to give each other a special type of hug…
  16. To truly keep it real, someone should photoshop Cam’s silk schmatta onto that kid’s head.
  17. I don’t think he’s writing off much, in proportion to his earnings, since he’s not self-employed. @southparkcpa kinda confirmed this, and he’s never wrong about anything. Except picking which football team to root for.
  18. It’s pretty easy to see the players’ tax rates, actually. State tax rates are pretty public things, as are their contract amounts & structures. They pay taxes based on the state they’re in when earning it. In sports contracts - best I understand it - that means any bonus money is the home state, home game checks are the same, and road games they pay the tax rate for that road state. But even those road games’ higher rates (for those starting out in zero tax states like FL) aren’t that bad since they’re probably not going to reach the full marginal rate in states like CA unless they are making base salary amounts in serious excess of $500K/game or something, in which case they only pay the marginal rate on $ earned above that rate. That’s all a bit too nuanced - it’s easy to figure out if you feel like spending the time - but the overwhelming bulk of what they’re making is in their home states. In Hill’s case (~$95MM effectively guaranteed through the 2025 season) about $65MM of it is earned in FL with 0% state income tax rate. If he signed here instead, he’d be paying either NY or NJ’s rate (call it 10% for easy math, since the overwhelming bulk of his income is at the state’s marginal rate). The road games even out closely enough no matter where he signs, so just look at those home state earnings. Then factor in further that he’s going to get more endorsement deals in his team’s state, and that, too will be taxed at 0% instead of ~10%. It’s a significant amount. That there are others making far more than that - and far less than that - is neither here nor there. On top of whatever else he makes in endorsements & more, the additional state tax alone, that he’d have paid to NY/NJ for his football playing income, which he now gets to fully keep instead of paying to the state, is statistically far more than most people earn in a lifetime (before taxes, at that).
  19. Well now I’m not in favor of it anymore. They should’ve taken a tackle. Put ‘em up.
  20. I don’t know. Looking at that Hill contract (assuming the Jets & Dolphins offered nearly identical deals): There’s some $35MM in signing & roster bonuses from 2022-2023. That carries a 0% state income tax rate since it’ll all be paid in FL and is therefore immune from any road games stuff. So he’s saving about $3.5MM in taxes there. That’s $35MM of the $95MM on his contract (the final year is fluff; Mia isn’t paying him a non-guaranteed $45MM salary when he’s 32). $30MM of that remaining $60MM will also be taxed at 0% state income tax, since it’ll also be in FL. If he was in NY/NJ that’d be another few million. Take back a slight amount because he won’t have that 1 road game per year in Miami, like Jets players have, but it’s a negligible amt. So just that amount alone, getting paid in FL not NY, he’s fully saving ~$6.5MM in after-taxes cash from 2022-2025 by signing with Miami instead of the Jets, and still has to pay federal taxes on that $6.5MM he’d be giving to NY or NJ state coffers if he was here. So to make up for that discrepancy, the Jets would have to offer Hill about $10MM more fully guaranteed than Miami’s paying him. (That’s aside from the personal part: the fact that he lives in Miami in the offseason anyway, independent of this deal).
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