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Sperm Edwards

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Posts posted by Sperm Edwards

  1. Admittedly I wasn't banging the table for him, so the only dog I have in this race is the Jets picked him & I'm a Jets fan so I hope he's great. At least it's not a universal LOL from around the league, seeing how it would've surprised no one if he'd gone 10-15 picks higher. So if he does indeed flop it was at least a reasonable swing at the fences. 

    We'll see what he is & what he isn't plenty soon. 

  2. 1 hour ago, bitonti said:

    As someone who has dabbled in the artform, Kelly is a master level troll 

    like he's written 15 of these articles about So and so shouldn't be a first round pick and they are click bait 

    there's a thin line between fries and shakes 

    Happy Jeff Goldblum GIF by Spotify

    Well parroting what 500 more-famous websites & commentators have already said probably doesn't generate as many clicks ;)

  3. 20 hours ago, Lith said:

    Only if you can run a 40 in less than 5.04.  Otherwise he is likely to catch you pretty quick.

    I'm pretty confident I can still run a 40 in under 5 seconds. The bigger problem is these days my old ass would be on the ground sucking wind for 10 minutes after sprinting for that distance. So he'd still catch up unless he literally gave up pursuit, as though after 40 yards there's a wall that I could magically run through but he can't, like some real-life roadrunner/coyote scene.

    So I'd be ok for 40.9 yards (40 yards + 32.25"), so long as he stopped there, and also if Mrs. Sperm was at the finish line with an oxygen mask.

  4. On 5/11/2022 at 2:00 PM, Bronx said:

    Cimini the 'genius at 3:17

    Screenshot_20220502-142505_Chrome.thumb.jpg.faa42fda7e44108f726396fdc41d0612.jpg

    The question before that was the dumbest of all:

    “How eager are you to get back?”

    I mean, seriously. Unless you’re a teacher testing someone’s knowledge - or a fluff question for PR purposes - the purpose of asking a question is to hear an answer you didn’t already know would follow.

    Like was there even a 1 in 100 million chance he’d say anything like, “Well really I’m not really very eager to be back.”

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  5. 1 hour ago, Jet2020 said:

    Federal tax is 37%. Everybody gets to enjoy that beating. 
     

    NJ tax is about 9%. That applies to half the salary. Other half is based on where we end up playing our away schedule. 

    Difference is basically 5% of your annual income compared to a state where there is no income tax (Texas). That’s less that. $2mil difference over the life of the contract, which can be very easily recouped with marketing 

    ~17% of his contract is paid out of state on road games; ~83% of it's paid in NJ.

    It's half his salary but it's not nearly about half the contract amount.

  6. 1 hour ago, New York Mick said:

    Calling him a scumbag and assuming that he’s guilty is the issue especially when he’s already donated millions of dollars to charities and done all types of charity work.

    See what you touched upon here is what really bugs me about this thread, and everyone's thinking it but no one's saying it.

    Bronx didn't call Favre a scumbag.

    He didn't call him scum.

    He called him a scumBrett Favre is a scum.

    I just can't get on board with that -- @Bronx really, who talks like that?

  7. 13 hours ago, Alka said:

    I mean Breece Hall is 20 years old, and Roger Craig is 61 years old.

    Please follow me here: Let's say that Breece's dad and Roger Craig's mother are siblings.  Assume that Roger Craig's mother was 15 years old when her brother was born.  Now, assume that Roger Craig's mother was 20 when Roger Craig was born.  That would mean that Breece's dad would have to wait until he was 45 years old to conceive Breece, thus when Roger Craig would be 41 years old, and Breece would just be being born.

    Actually, this now makes sense.  If Breece's dad married a woman who was 10 years younger than him, then Breece's mom would have had Breece at 36 years of age, and hs dad would be 46 years old.

    Does all this make sense?  I need to go do something.  I must be bored.

    I think I can help you understand.

    While undressed, one night their grandma and grandpa decided to give each other a special type of hug…

  8. 1 minute ago, Jet Nut said:

    I dont know these players tax rates.  None of us do.  I live in Florida and the state gets their money back in other ways, all things arent equal minus the state income tax.  

    I'm friends with a stupid rich musician that can live anywhere in the country given hes a Brit.  He lived for years in NYC and then moved to Conn.  He makes more money than any of these athletes could dream of earning.  

    It’s pretty easy to see the players’ tax rates, actually. State tax rates are pretty public things, as are their contract amounts & structures. 

    They pay taxes based on the state they’re in when earning it. In sports contracts - best I understand it - that means any bonus money is the home state, home game checks are the same, and road games they pay the tax rate for that road state. But even those road games’ higher rates (for those starting out in zero tax states like FL) aren’t that bad since they’re probably not going to reach the full marginal rate in states like CA unless they are making base salary amounts in serious excess of $500K/game or something, in which case they only pay the marginal rate on $ earned above that rate.

    That’s all a bit too nuanced - it’s easy to figure out if you feel like spending the time - but the overwhelming bulk of what they’re making is in their home states. In Hill’s case (~$95MM effectively guaranteed through the 2025 season) about $65MM of it is earned in FL with 0% state income tax rate. If he signed here instead, he’d be paying either NY or NJ’s rate (call it 10% for easy math, since the overwhelming bulk of his income is at the state’s marginal rate). The road games even out closely enough no matter where he signs, so just look at those home state earnings. 

    Then factor in further that he’s going to get more endorsement deals in his team’s state, and that, too will be taxed at 0% instead of ~10%. 

    It’s a significant amount. That there are others making far more than that - and far less than that - is neither here nor there. On top of whatever else he makes in endorsements & more, the additional state tax alone, that he’d have paid to NY/NJ for his football playing income, which he now gets to fully keep instead of paying to the state, is statistically far more than most people earn in a lifetime (before taxes, at that). 

  9. 1 hour ago, Jet Nut said:

    Taxes for those 8 or home games.

    That would be a minor reason to bitch

    I don’t know. Looking at that Hill contract (assuming the Jets & Dolphins offered nearly identical deals):

    There’s some $35MM in signing & roster bonuses from 2022-2023. That carries a 0% state income tax rate since it’ll all be paid in FL and is therefore immune from any road games stuff. So he’s saving about $3.5MM in taxes there.

    That’s $35MM of the $95MM on his contract (the final year is fluff; Mia isn’t paying him a non-guaranteed $45MM salary when he’s 32). $30MM of that remaining $60MM will also be taxed at 0% state income tax, since it’ll also be in FL. If he was in NY/NJ that’d be another few million. Take back a slight amount because he won’t have that 1 road game per year in Miami, like Jets players have, but it’s a negligible amt.

    So just that amount alone, getting paid in FL not NY, he’s fully saving ~$6.5MM in after-taxes cash from 2022-2025 by signing with Miami instead of the Jets, and still has to pay federal taxes on that $6.5MM he’d be giving to NY or NJ state coffers if he was here.

    So to make up for that discrepancy, the Jets would have to offer Hill about $10MM more fully guaranteed than Miami’s paying him.

    (That’s aside from the personal part: the fact that he lives in Miami in the offseason anyway, independent of this deal). 

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