Billy Mays

Hi, Billy Mays here. A few squirts of Kaboom! and your forum is washed away. Here's how to order.

Hi Billy Mays Here! Please send the tickets and $19.95 plus shipping and handling. Here's how to order.

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Hi! Billy Mays here for reality. Kevin Smith, you're not going to win 10 games, your not even going to win 5 games! If you call now, you're going win maybe 3 games! But that's not all! I'm going to double the offer. I'll throw in Matt Stafford, a 2 win value, for FREE! Here's how to order....

Hi! Billy Mays here for football fans! John, drink not one, not two, but three bottles of orange glo. If you call now, I'll even throw in the Ding King, to take the dent out of your ****ing forehead. Here's how to order...

Hi! Billy Mays here for Woody Johnson. The owner of the New York Jets. Woody would motor boat that not once, not twice, but three times. Wow! You won't pay $20,000 in PSLs, you won't even pay $10,000 in PSLs! Three motorboats from Woody Johnson can be yours for just $19.99. Just pay additional shipping and handling and Woody will come to your home and play with your funbags. But I'm not done yet. Call now, and I'll double the offer! I'll even motor boat your chocolate love sack once! All for the same low price of $19.99. Order Now!