Maxman Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Thanks to our friends at Mastercard we are going to send one lucky JetNation members to a complimentary breakfast with Mike Tannenbaum (November 19th, 8:30AM - 10:00am). All you have to do to enter is make a post in this thread. What would be “priceless” about the chance to have breakfast with the Jets GM? Tell us, and you can win the chance to be my guest with Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum for breakfast at the Atlantic Health Training Facility and hear him break down the last game and offer his views on the upcoming schedule courtesy of MasterCard’s Priceless New York Campaign. Priceless New York is offering Jets fans unique experiences both on and off the field such as pre-game wine tastings and tailgate parties as well as a private dinner party and a Flag Football Game “under the lights” at MetLife Stadium. To register for Priceless New York, and check out all the great New York Jets offers and experiences available to cardholders, visit www.pricelessny.com. One post in this thread gets you entered for the breakfast with Mike Tannenbaum. Also be sure to visit www.pricelessny.com as well. We are going to give away some much smaller consolation prizes as well here on JetNation. The winners of the breakfast will be announced here on Thursday 11/17 at 3pm Eastern. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RutgersJetFan Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Max if there's ever been an opportunity for you to provide some actual entertainment to people in your lifetime, it's the chance to fix this contest so Shane wins, and then videotaping it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 The additional prizes that we will be giving away are Rex Rags (pictures coming soon) to three people and one person will get a gift courtesy of Easy Canvas Prints (link coming soon). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Max if there's ever been an opportunity for you to provide some actual entertainment to people in your lifetime, it's the chance to fix this contest so Shane wins, and then videotaping it. + 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoicsentry Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I need to go so Mike can tell me how to write better Jets report cards. I would like to hear his views on that "process." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetfire Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I would love to meet Mike T. Wasnt he an accountant at one point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faba Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Ok this sounds cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I am in. And would strongly consider donating to Shane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Tomshane. Yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ECURB Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I won! Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pointman Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 In please! Can't wait. <-- pun intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greeniemeanie Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I'm in. If I by any stroke of luck, win, T0mShane goes in my place. This is going to be fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsJETStime Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Hey enter me in this contest lets see if I can actually win something for a change lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleedin Green Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I would agree with TomShane being the most entertaining person to go, if I didn't believe he'd be far too spineless to actually say an unkind word to the man's face. Maybe we'll have to take it upon ourselves to send Tanny a collection of some of TS's most classic posts prior to their meeting to help get things going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetscanes331 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 This is relative to my interests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T0mShane Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Dear Mastercard, I am writing to answer the question you've so tantalizingly posed, "What would be 'priceless' about the chance to have breakfast with the Jets GM?" My answer, simply: "Bacon." First, however, I must say that I am most bemused by the irony with which you choose to include the terms "priceless" and "Tannenbaum" in the same sentence. "Why, Tom?," you may ask. Well, Mastercard, I'll thank you for asking me to expound upon my opening salvo and will continue with great fervor thusly: Let's begin by considering the many different ways to define "priceless." Webster offers three definitions. The first is the most commonly understood definition, "having a value beyond any price." This particular description would not apply to a "breakfast" with one Michael Tannebaum. Clearly, the food to be served will have a finite market value, as does Messr. Tannenbaum's time (we shall assume that this is a paid endorsement), as would the service, amenities, travel costs, etc. Thus, there is, therefore, a measurable "price" to be attached this experience. A cost; a quantifiable value, per se. No, it is with the secondary and tertiary definitions that we can better hone in upon describing the experience of a so-called Breakfast With Tannenbaum (for which we shall use the acronym BWT henceforth). The second definition Webster offers reads, "Having worth in terms of other than market value." Ah. The irony. Mastercard, have you heard of Calvin Pace? Perhaps you're aware of Curtis Martin? Or, perhaps, Chad Pennington? (Please note, it galls me to cite these names in our brief conversation regarding "market value"). I do so to illustrate the point that Messr. Tannenbaum has NO VERIFIABLE UNDERSTANDING of the term market value. A Certified Public Accountant by training, Tannenbaum has flouted the very principles of the free market by signing both Pace and Pennington to contracts that totalled exponentially over and beyond any conceivable measure that would have been defined by said "market."1 His coup de gras, however, was serving as the architect behind the dubiously conceived, doubly-disconcerting Curtis Martin de-facto "trade" and contract imbroglio. By ceding first and third round picks to the rival Patriots for a running back was fool-hearty enough, but to then grant Martin salary cap-strangling contracts totalling nearly $40 million dollars (US) for a running back with as much mileage as Martin had accumulated before he had yet to even don a Jets uniform? Ludicrous! Alas, let's not linger too long on this point. I mean, a man who's been in the job as long as Messr. Tannenbaum has is sure to have a few landmark foibles in pursuit of ultimate success, yes? What's that you ask, Mastercard? Surely such expenditures would result in a championship? Haha! No, Mastercard, it hasn't! Messr. Tannenbaum, CPA, has spent this money haphazardly with little return and no regard for his organization's future financial flexibility!2 These examples are but the tip of a leviathanic iceberg that are the very definition of operating under the premise of spending at a rate "other than market value." It's as if Noah Webster himself had Messr. Tannenbaum in mind when he wrote this very definition!3 The third definition is, of course, a trifle: "delightfully amusing, odd, or absurd." Were Mr. Webster alive today, I'm more than sure we'd share a knowing chuckle over this particular choice in terminology as we considered how priceless it is watching two diminutive caucasian safeties chasing, in vain, after considerably more athletic4 foes through the lens of this particular description. Odd and absurd, indeed! Messr. Tannenbaum, you are indeed a solid two-thirds "priceless"! In closing, and to answer your initial query, I think it would be "priceless" to attend BWT if only to stare into the eyes of the Dread Accountant, to watch him eat his bacon and his eggs, to sip his coffee, all the while meticulously calculating the amount of triglycerides accumulating in his cold, dank arteries; to imagine the clusters of trans-fats building stroke-inducing walls inside his veins; and to wonder when--when--this man, this...book-keeper, this person who has stolen over a decade of my life while in the employ of the New York Jets--when the toll that the inevitable existential angst caused by trading his soul for the opportunity to draft ever newer (yet familiar) incarnations of Anthony Schlegel finally causes him to walk away, head bowed in shame, a failure. Oh, bacon. Bacon, bacon, bacon. Work your magic, bacon5. Sincerely, Thomas Shane 1To wit, Calvin Pace is paid in roughly the same salary frame as fellow linebackers James Harrison and DeMarcus Ware, both perennial Pro-Bowlers, All-Pros and frequently mentioned in the conversation for NFL Defensive Player of the Year. Calvin Pace has never been voted to a Pro Bowl. Chad Pennington, similarly, was given a mammoth contract that the given market would value as "elite," despite the fact that his arm could project a football about as far as my penis is capable of projecting semen. 2 Which, incidentally, would make him the perfect mark for an unnamed, largely-unregulated corporation to entrap with a high-interest, predatory lending scheme! (Hint, hint!) 3Anachronistically, of course. 4 Noracist. 5 ****.yeah, bacon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbatesman Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 The additional prizes that we will be giving away are Rex Rags I don't know what these are, but I'm picturing something stained and damp and smelling of old cheese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T0mShane Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Also, I'm not going. I have rage-control issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Il Mostro Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Can I order anything I want from the menu? Special requests available? Multiple portions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kleckineau Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Accountant can do my taxes while I eat and tell him how much Tom Shane hates his guts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraightCash Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I'm in, but only for the bonus prizes, unless the meeting includes travel to NY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetscode1 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I'm in, but only for the bonus prizes, unless the meeting includes travel to NY Ditto! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirlancemehlot Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Wow. I don't know who I'm rooting for more. Shane who will savagely attack Tannenbaum, or Crusher, who will savagely attack breakfast. Also, please make me ineligible for this prize. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afinogenov Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Breakfast with Mike T? That's an incredible opportunity for a sports management major like myself, count me in please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanFromQueens Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Count me in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeC36 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 so in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slats Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 This is probably the one I win. I don't even eat bacon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Il Mostro Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 This is probably the one I win. I don't even eat bacon. Perhaps you have never had properly prepared bacon... Check out the hijacking of the Bacon Bacon Truck. Now that's how you eat bacon the smart way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4HCrew Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 this would be awesome.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain_the_foe Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I would enter, but I think I'd take Tanny hostage until he fires Schotty....and do it before lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 So people want Tommy boy to go. I will PM him to see if he is interested, I might be able to pull some strings and get him there in addition to the winner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Il Mostro Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 So people want Tommy boy to go. I will PM him to see if he is interested, I might be able to pull some strings and get him there in addition to the winner. Can we mount some kind of cam to his head for posterity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoicsentry Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I need to go so Mike can tell me how to write better Jets report cards. I would like to hear his views on that "process." I just realized I can't make it that day anyway. Oh well, enter me for the other prizes still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonEJet Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 In Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bergen Jet Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Pretty cool prize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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