SpartanJet Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I'm not an Tanny fan, but I think it would be a cool thing to have breakfast with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#27TheDominator Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Also, I'm not going. I have rage-control issues. Even better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Feinman Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Breakfast with the Gang Green GM, As long as it isn't green eggs and ham, we're good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 Breakfast with the Gang Green GM, As long as it isn't green eggs and ham, we're good. LOL, Thanks Jason! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleedin Green Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 So people want Tommy boy to go. I will PM him to see if he is interested, I might be able to pull some strings and get him there in addition to the winner. Bah, like I've already said, he's a tough talker on these boards, but all evidence suggests that if presented with the man himself face to face, he'd be far too big of a gaping V to actually say a word of it. If anything, the humor would be in his awkward silence throughout the whole process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T0mShane Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Bah, like I've already said, he's a tough talker on these boards, but all evidence suggests that if presented with the man himself face to face, he'd be far too big of a gaping V to actually say a word of it. If anything, the humor would be in his awkward silence throughout the whole process. All available evidence suggests I'm Conan the Destroyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#27TheDominator Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 All available evidence suggests I'm Conan the Destroyer. I always pictured you more equal parts Brave Sir Robin and Red Sonja. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleedin Green Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 All available evidence suggests I'm Conan the Destroyer. If anything I'd say you're more Conan O'Brien. You know, minus the whole being funny, rich and famous part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I want that front row seat to the Tanny and Tom conversation.And I am willing to fly from Denver for that. Likely outcomes being: 1. Tom is at his intwerwebz best and shuts Tanny up and JN will not be invited again, 2 Tom chickens out and its so silent and awkward that JN will not be invited again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSJets Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 This would be cool, count me in please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Vader Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 i will win u foolz. and i will donate to my self-congratulatory trust-fund hedonism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOJOTOWNSELL Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 im in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I want that front row seat to the Tanny and Tom conversation.And I am willing to fly from Denver for that. Likely outcomes being: 1. Tom is at his intwerwebz best and shuts Tanny up and JN will not be invited again, 2 Tom chickens out and its so silent and awkward that JN will not be invited again. One thing...the Jets don't invite us to these things, the sponsors do. Money always talks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 If anything I'd say you're more Conan O'Brien. You know, minus the whole being funny, rich and famous part. And having a lot of Twitter followers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T0mShane Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 And having a lot of Twitter followers. You're just jealous that I'm CPFs with Darren Rovell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vudu Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Dear Mastercard, I am writing to answer the question you've so tantalizingly posed, "What would be 'priceless' about the chance to have breakfast with the Jets GM?" My answer, simply: "Bacon." First, however, I must say that I am most bemused by the irony with which you choose to include the terms "priceless" and "Tannenbaum" in the same sentence. "Why, Tom?," you may ask. Well, Mastercard, I'll thank you for asking me to expound upon my opening salvo and will continue with great fervor thusly: Let's begin by considering the many different ways to define "priceless." Webster offers three definitions. The first is the most commonly understood definition, "having a value beyond any price." This particular description would not apply to a "breakfast" with one Michael Tannebaum. Clearly, the food to be served will have a finite market value, as does Messr. Tannenbaum's time (we shall assume that this is a paid endorsement), as would the service, amenities, travel costs, etc. Thus, there is, therefore, a measurable "price" to be attached this experience. A cost; a quantifiable value, per se. No, it is with the secondary and tertiary definitions that we can better hone in upon describing the experience of a so-called Breakfast With Tannenbaum (for which we shall use the acronym BWT henceforth). The second definition Webster offers reads, "Having worth in terms of other than market value." Ah. The irony. Mastercard, have you heard of Calvin Pace? Perhaps you're aware of Curtis Martin? Or, perhaps, Chad Pennington? (Please note, it galls me to cite these names in our brief conversation regarding "market value"). I do so to illustrate the point that Messr. Tannenbaum has NO VERIFIABLE UNDERSTANDING of the term market value. A Certified Public Accountant by training, Tannenbaum has flouted the very principles of the free market by signing both Pace and Pennington to contracts that totalled exponentially over and beyond any conceivable measure that would have been defined by said "market."1 His coup de gras, however, was serving as the architect behind the dubiously conceived, doubly-disconcerting Curtis Martin de-facto "trade" and contract imbroglio. By ceding first and third round picks to the rival Patriots for a running back was fool-hearty enough, but to then grant Martin salary cap-strangling contracts totalling nearly $40 million dollars (US) for a running back with as much mileage as Martin had accumulated before he had yet to even don a Jets uniform? Ludicrous! Alas, let's not linger too long on this point. I mean, a man who's been in the job as long as Messr. Tannenbaum has is sure to have a few landmark foibles in pursuit of ultimate success, yes? What's that you ask, Mastercard? Surely such expenditures would result in a championship? Haha! No, Mastercard, it hasn't! Messr. Tannenbaum, CPA, has spent this money haphazardly with little return and no regard for his organization's future financial flexibility!2 These examples are but the tip of a leviathanic iceberg that are the very definition of operating under the premise of spending at a rate "other than market value." It's as if Noah Webster himself had Messr. Tannenbaum in mind when he wrote this very definition!3 The third definition is, of course, a trifle: "delightfully amusing, odd, or absurd." Were Mr. Webster alive today, I'm more than sure we'd share a knowing chuckle over this particular choice in terminology as we considered how priceless it is watching two diminutive caucasian safeties chasing, in vain, after considerably more athletic4 foes through the lens of this particular description. Odd and absurd, indeed! Messr. Tannenbaum, you are indeed a solid two-thirds "priceless"! In closing, and to answer your initial query, I think it would be "priceless" to attend BWT if only to stare into the eyes of the Dread Accountant, to watch him eat his bacon and his eggs, to sip his coffee, all the while meticulously calculating the amount of triglycerides accumulating in his cold, dank arteries; to imagine the clusters of trans-fats building stroke-inducing walls inside his veins; and to wonder when--when--this man, this...book-keeper, this person who has stolen over a decade of my life while in the employ of the New York Jets--when the toll that the inevitable existential angst caused by trading his soul for the opportunity to draft ever newer (yet familiar) incarnations of Anthony Schlegel finally causes him to walk away, head bowed in shame, a failure. Oh, bacon. Bacon, bacon, bacon. Work your magic, bacon5. Sincerely, Thomas Shane 1To wit, Calvin Pace is paid in roughly the same salary frame as fellow linebackers James Harrison and DeMarcus Ware, both perennial Pro-Bowlers, All-Pros and frequently mentioned in the conversation for NFL Defensive Player of the Year. Calvin Pace has never been voted to a Pro Bowl. Chad Pennington, similarly, was given a mammoth contract that the given market would value as "elite," despite the fact that his arm could project a football about as far as my penis is capable of projecting semen. 2 Which, incidentally, would make him the perfect mark for an unnamed, largely-unregulated corporation to entrap with a high-interest, predatory lending scheme! (Hint, hint!) 3Anachronistically, of course. 4 Noracist. 5 ****.yeah, bacon. ILY, your posts always cheer me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T0mShane Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 ILY, your posts always cheer me up. Do you love me more than JiF? Can I be the one to tell him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vudu Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Do you love me more than JiF? Can I be the one to tell him? Sure. JiF doesnt love me back anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Mike Tanenbaum: "Nice to meet you Tom. What brings you here?" Tom: (mumbles under breath) "Glorious revenge brings me here" Mike: "Huh?" Tom: "Uh, nothing. Enjoying your bacon?" [Tom reaches for his pistol] Mike: "Hey, I think I know who you are. You're the guy who said you'd tattoo my name on your chest if we won the Super Bowl last year!" Tom: ".....................How did you know that?" Mike: "I have to confess, I'm kind of a big fan. I read all your work at JN." Tom: "No way!!!! Will you be my bff?" [montage of Tom and Mike going to movies, eating ice cream, etc. while "You're my Best Friend" by Queen plays in background] Tom: "Oh what a great day." Mike: "Yep. Its too bad I have to kill you now." Tom: "Wha....." [gunshot] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenorGato Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I too would like to enter this contest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BroadwayJ667 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Max, to win this would mean so much to me. I have long desired to work in the NFL. I have written countless letters to the Jets, Giants, Ravens, and Eagles since I graduated from college this past May. Mike Tannenbaum has accomplished so much particularly with the Jets in such a short period of time. To meet with the general manager of my favorite team would be unimaginable. I feel that meeting him would be an invaluable opportunity to learn so much about running and building a successful football team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slats Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 ^ If you're just gonna kiss his a$$ you should be disqualified. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Max, to win this would mean so much to me. I have long desired to work in the NFL. I have written countless letters to the Jets, Giants, Ravens, and Eagles since I graduated from college this past May. Mike Tannenbaum has accomplished so much particularly with the Jets in such a short period of time. To meet with the general manager of my favorite team would be unimaginable. I feel that meeting him would be an invaluable opportunity to learn so much about running and building a successful football team. You still won't get a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 One thing...the Jets don't invite us to these things, the sponsors do. Money always talks! True. Money talks. And you do understand i was kidding. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE ILK Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 If I win, you can have my breakfast. Get it done Crusher! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE ILK Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Also, I'm not going. I have rage-control issues. Yes you are! I'll tape the gun to the old box in the bathroom stall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE ILK Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Do you love me more than JiF? Can I be the one to tell him? JiF and T0m, no wonder she's gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Lew Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I would love to win this......being a Jets/Mets/Knicks fan I'd love to win anything though..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Still plenty of time to enter... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Only 40 entries so far...be dialing people. Pancakes and the Jets, perfect together! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RutgersJetFan Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Only 40 entries so far...be dialing people. Pancakes and the Jets, perfect together! I don't see how. Pancakes bring me joy. Unless you're going for a whole yin and yang theme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Only 40 entries so far...be dialing people. Pancakes and the Jets, perfect together! I see a similarity. Both come out flat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peebag Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 See if Mr. T is up to flying to Nebraska for a day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T0mShane Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 NEW IDEA: We award the ticket to the poster whose current, negative view on Sanchez MOST CONTRADICTS their previous, delusional-homer position on Sanchez. Plenty o' candidates. Plennnnnnty o' candidates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbatesman Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 NEW IDEA: We award the ticket to the poster whose current, negative view on Sanchez MOST CONTRADICTS their previous, delusional-homer position on Sanchez. Plenty o' candidates. Plennnnnnty o' candidates. Really, there's only one. And he'll be disqualified if we win Thursday night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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