Jump to content

Starter Marriages


Recommended Posts

My first marriage started at age 23. I was a young 2LT in the Army. That was a disaster.

My second started at 34 and will last forever. The differences in life and experiences between those two ages are night and day. Just facts.

Going out on a limb here but I would say that you were still a dooshie at both ages.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

YUP. This is the reason no one should get married until their about 35.

Problem is that people having kids later and later may be the reason why so many kids have autism:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/04/15/an-autism-breakthrough.html

In the journal Nature, articles from three different groups showed that sperm from an older father (a man over 35 years) may increase autism risk. Perhaps, argue the authors, minor exposures accumulate as a man ages, ultimately leading to genetically damaged sperm.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My first marriage started at age 23. I was a young 2LT in the Army. That was a disaster.

My second started at 34 and will last forever. The differences in life and experiences between those two ages are night and day. Just facts.

Was in a relarionship at 22/23 that could've been a starter, and got out. She was married within 2 years, which is freaking nuts. Eventually I got married at 34 to a good woman who had been in a bad starter. Some people succeed despite marrying young(hello, Max!); good for them. But it's difficult because most are not really the person they will be in their 30s and 40s, not personally nor professionally. If you could put my 48-year old brain in my 17-year old head I would rule the world. But in most people's teens and 20s you want to have a good time. And that is the time to do that.

I know way too many guys in their 40s who suddenly divorce their bride of a few decades, and acquire, in no particular order, a Harley, and earring, a tattoo and a young hussy. Now that may be good for' em, but I always think if they had made that mess in their 20s instead of playing house so young may be they would be in a stable marriage instead of busting up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Was in a relarionship at 22/23 that could've been a starter, and got out. She was married within 2 years, which is freaking nuts. Eventually I got married at 34 to a good woman who had been in a bad starter. Some people succeed despite marrying young(hello, Max!); good for them. But it's difficult because most are not really the person they will be in their 30s and 40s, not personally nor professionally. If you could put my 48-year old brain in my 17-year old head I would rule the world. But in most people's teens and 20s you want to have a good time. And that is the time to do that.

I know way too many guys in their 40s who suddenly divorce their bride of a few decades, and acquire, in no particular order, a Harley, and earring, a tattoo and a young hussy. Now that may be good for' em, but I always think if they had made that mess in their 20s instead of playing house so young may be they would be in a stable marriage instead of busting up.

I could stare at this until I waste away to 250lbs and not disagree with a thing. Make your mistakes when your young and dumb to get that natural instinct out of your system. You will come to a point where you know what doesn;t work. Then promise yourself to never get married and eventually the woman of your dreams will walk into your life. You will never find her if you look. JMO

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I totally understand marriages that start early and don't last. It happened to several friends of mine -- good, smart, disciplined people. Like Bugg said, too many people aren't quite their true 'adult self' in their early 20s, and I think the relationship just becomes a mismatch of priorities and interest into the '30s.

We married at 22 and are still together, but I know we're lucky.

I'll advise my kids wait until 30.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? :)

Max - Trust me, guys in our shoes are very very happy to know people like you and the Mrs. who have a long and loving marriage. It's refreshing and impressive, especially with the amount of your crap that poor woman has to put up with.

Was in a relarionship at 22/23 that could've been a starter, and got out. She was married within 2 years, which is freaking nuts. Eventually I got married at 34 to a good woman who had been in a bad starter. Some people succeed despite marrying young(hello, Max!); good for them. But it's difficult because most are not really the person they will be in their 30s and 40s, not personally nor professionally. If you could put my 48-year old brain in my 17-year old head I would rule the world. But in most people's teens and 20s you want to have a good time. And that is the time to do that.

I know way too many guys in their 40s who suddenly divorce their bride of a few decades, and acquire, in no particular order, a Harley, and earring, a tattoo and a young hussy. Now that may be good for' em, but I always think if they had made that mess in their 20s instead of playing house so young may be they would be in a stable marriage instead of busting up.

This. Bugg nailed it. I've seen that scenario way too many times.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My first marriage started at age 23. I was a dumbass 2LT in the Army. That was a disaster.

My second started at 34 and will last forever. The differences in life and experiences between those two ages are night and day. Just facts.

Fixed. ;)

Some people do not learn.

I have an Army buddy that I have known for just over 5 years. He was married when I met him. On our second deployment he divorced Wife 1.0 and started online dating Wife 2.0. Now, his divorce from 2.0 if final as of 6 months and he is dating potential 3.0 who divorced husband 1.0 in January.

He is 33.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fixed. ;)

Some people do not learn.

I have an Army buddy that I have known for just over 5 years. He was married when I met him. On our second deployment he divorced Wife 1.0 and started online dating Wife 2.0. Now, his divorce from 2.0 if final as of 6 months and he is dating potential 3.0 who divorced husband 1.0 in January.

He is 33.

Fixed. ;)

Some people do not learn.

I have an Army buddy that I have known for just over 5 years. He was married when I met him. On our second deployment he divorced Wife 1.0 and started online dating Wife 2.0. Now, his divorce from 2.0 if final as of 6 months and he is dating potential 3.0 who divorced husband 1.0 in January.

He is 33.

Dumbass is the only acceptable adjective for 2LT.

BTW - Was he a former Artillery soldier of mine and was 1.0 German? LOL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Starter marriage in my 20s to somebody who was barely 20 which was a horrid experience. Second marriage (wife's first) occurred when I was 34 and has been damn near perfect.

Seems to be a concensus. I moved in with my second wife when I was 34. Married her when I was 41. Definately a perfect union.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So why is it better to marry in yours 30's ? If you are so smart by then why are you marrying in the first place ?

I don't think that most people in their early 20's even know themselves well enough to handle a serious relationship of that magnitude..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share



×
×
  • Create New...