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<<< Top 10 New Titles for Herm Edward's Book>&gt


Fred Jetstone

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McGraw-Hill (the publisher of Herm's book, You Play To Win The Game) has announced that their attorney's have advised them to either pull the book or change the title.

The title, You Play To Win The Game, is considered so misleading that they fear a class action lawsuit from disgruntled customers.

Here is a list of the top 10 new titles under consideration. Feel free to add your own. If it's used, McGraw-Hill will pay you 1% of all book sale royalties.

1) You Play To Win The Draft Pick

2) You Play To Give Lead-Footed, Butter-Fingered Geezers A Last Chance At Glory

3) You Play To Keep It Relatively Close And Not Open Up The Offence Cause That Would Be A Circus And Then Throw Tantrums And Walk Out Of Press Conferences If Anyone Calls You On It

4) You Play To Win The $17,500 Speaking Engagements

5) You Play To Someday Figure Out That Perplexing Puzzle Known As Clock-Management

6) You Play Make Funny Faces While Passing Gas On The Sidelines Hoping It Looks Like You're Mulling Over A Complex Blocking Scheme

7) You Play To Play Your 64 Million Dollar QB Who Has Just Re-Injured a Season-Ending Shoulder Injury

ate) You Play To Have Sideline Shouting Matches With Dudes Named Bishop

9) You Play Cause You Got Nothing Particularly Better To Do

...and the number one new title for herm edwards book........

10) You Play For Bollywood, Dammit!

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Classic, Bob. And how apropos. The decision to replace Bolly with Vinterceptaverde will haunt Herm forever.

And hey, you gotta give him this. While the rest of 'em were falling like flies, he scrambled and toughed it out and, at least, Bollinger isn't Boll-injured, unlike Chad Penning-done and Jay Feeled-hurt.

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Classic, Bob. And how apropos. The decision to replace Bolly with Vinterceptaverde will haunt Herm forever.

And hey, you gotta give him this. While the rest of 'em were falling like flies, he scrambled and toughed it out and, at least, Bollinger isn't Boll-injured, unlike Chad Penning-done and Jay Feeled-hurt.

Jetstone, sounds like you are jumping off the Bolly Bust!

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I was all Bollywood or Bust, and we know how it turned out.

Ok, well then, who's really to blame? Who, more than anyone else, is responsible for this 2-9 record? Bollywood, come on now. Who's to blame?

a) Herm

B) Bradway

c) Heimerdinger

d) Henderson

e) O-line

f) Woody

g) BZ & the Fair-weathered fans

h) Cross

i) The whole Xanadu thing

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Ok, well then, who's really to blame? Who, more than anyone else, is responsible for this 2-9 record? Bollywood, come on now. Who's to blame?

a) Herm

B) Bradway

c) Heimerdinger

d) Henderson

e) O-line

f) Woody

g) BZ & the Fair-weathered fans

h) Cross

i) The whole Xanadu thing

a) For not seeing that we needed more depth in the 0-line and QB. Why have a #3 if he plays like a #2.

B) For a + c

c) For having no plan beyond Jay and his seven plays. The play calling since Chad + Jay went down has been horrible.

d) For letting us get outscored in the first quarter something like 78-3. That is not about fatique, that is just bad defense.

e) For killing off two QBs in one game.

f) Woody just gets pulled in because of the Stadium crap. Don't think he gets blame for the 2-10.

g) Absolutley. 100% of the blame.

h) Cross should just share in the Woody pain.

i) Shopping leads to hell.

j) BOLLYWOOD! Come on, the kids is awful. He scrambles and knows when to throw it away, but other than that, useless so far.

BZ

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To seek the sacred river alph

To walk the caves of ice

To break my fast on honey dew

And drink the milk of paradise....

I had heard the whispered tales

Of immortality

The deepest mystery

From an ancient book. I took a clue

I scaled the frozen mountain tops

Of eastern lands unknown

Time and man alone

Searching for the lost ---- xanadu

Xanadu ---- to stand within the pleasure dome

Decreed by kubla khan

To taste anew the fruits of life

The last immortal man

To find the sacred river alph

To walk the caves of ice

Oh, I will dine on honey dew

And drink the milk of paradise

A thousand years have come and gone

But time has passed me by

Stars stopped in the sky

Frozen in an everlasting view

Waiting for the world to end

Weary of the night

Praying for the light

Prison of the lost ---- xanadu

Xanadu ---- held within the pleasure dome

Decreed by kubla khan

To taste my bitter triumph

As a mad immortal man

Nevermore shall I return

Escape these caves of ice

For I have dined on honey dew

And drunk the milk of paradise

More than paradise

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To seek the sacred river alph

To walk the caves of ice

To break my fast on honey dew

And drink the milk of paradise....

I had heard the whispered tales

Of immortality

The deepest mystery

From an ancient book. I took a clue

I scaled the frozen mountain tops

Of eastern lands unknown

Time and man alone

Searching for the lost ---- xanadu

Xanadu ---- to stand within the pleasure dome

Decreed by kubla khan

To taste anew the fruits of life

The last immortal man

To find the sacred river alph

To walk the caves of ice

Oh, I will dine on honey dew

And drink the milk of paradise

A thousand years have come and gone

But time has passed me by

Stars stopped in the sky

Frozen in an everlasting view

Waiting for the world to end

Weary of the night

Praying for the light

Prison of the lost ---- xanadu

Xanadu ---- held within the pleasure dome

Decreed by kubla khan

To taste my bitter triumph

As a mad immortal man

Nevermore shall I return

Escape these caves of ice

For I have dined on honey dew

And drunk the milk of paradise

More than paradise

A farewell to Kings!

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