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why did we send our worst player to represent us?   oh, it's a jets fan site, we're supposed to embarrass ourselves

Finished officer course... got my new shiny pin ūüėÉ ¬† ¬†

Hi everyone!! Our baby girl, Elizabeth Christine, arrived last week! We are so in love with everything about her. I want to post a few pictures but don't want to leave them up forever here. How long

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Have you thought about hookers? Get a cheap hooker maybe even have a couple over at a time because you can get them on a discount and then just practice like that. Because he makes a good point, there's going to be something off about your game with the one you really care about and I would hate for that to create an obstacle in an otherwise good relationship. I'm kind of serious by the way this might not Be a bad idea

 

Last possible option in my mind.  At this point the only viable possibilities for me are:  1) Stick to the plan, 2) Sex in the context of a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage (The Ape plan).  There can only be one woman.

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I hear ya.  30 is gonna kinda suck to still be where I'm at.  But again, I'm choosing to keep my standards high rather than go that route.  I'm trusting that the girl I end up will understand me.  Pipe dream?  Maybe.  Worth waiting on?  In my opinion yes.  If not being good at sex immediately is a deal breaker for a girl, she ain't the one.  If that girl doesn't exist, I walk the earth alone, like Batman.  Oh, right, can't use Batman.....Hulk?

 

So far so good with the girl I've been spending the last month with, however.  We'll see.

 

Batman is a player and Hulk could only control his rage because of pussy, like most men.

 

Here's what you're dealing with in your 30's for available women.  Insecure Girls who blame society for their lack of love, Girls who've been abused and hate all men, Girls who have it figured out and know what they want and its not virgins, Girls who just want to get ****ed and have fun (my type), Girls with kids who need a daddy, Girls who want kids but nobody wants to be their daddy, Crazy as **** girls, Girls who've given up on men and are lesbians.

 

Really, you're only chance is a girl 6-8 years younger who want an older man to take charge and make them feel secure.  Unfortunately for you, you're not going to fit the bill because you dont know how to treat the pussy and like terrible music (just kidding about that part, sort of).

 

Or you meet that girl at church who shares the same values and is somehow still available.  Which is in the unicorn category these days. 

 

Moral to the story, go bang and bang some more. 

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Wait 80 is 29?  Damn.  This is getting serious.  

 

That's my point.  He's creeping into the age of no return and is going to be let down terribly by these ideals he believes in, that really only exist in about 2% of the population.  At least in this country and 90% of the world.   So there is a chance...hahahahaha

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New JN Mafia talk show, coming soon to a network near you.

 

DCL is what Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew wish they were.  

 

It would be a rip roaring success.  DCL dishes this advice out for free around here because he loves you all.  He could be charging big money by the hour.

 

A fat man who cares. 

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She barely wants to bone since we had the infant. She hates how she feels about herself

 

 

This is a 100% serious post.  Might want to have her talk to a lady Doc about post partum depression. Please don;t be insulted but it is a real thing.  if nothing else there are a lot of support groups and info online.  My buddies wife had it really bad.  They solved it together and are happier than ever.  

 

 

What Crusher said.

 

I know in my wife's case, she just saw her body as "food source" for the baby all throughout breast feeding. She said she just didn't feel "horny". We were up all night, every night with the baby, so exhaustion played a huge role too. When the baby stopped breast feeding, things slowly got back to normal. She does occasionally express body image concerns, but she's always been like that. 

 

For us, we've openly talked about "when we will start doing it like normal again" from the beginning. It allows us to de-prioritize it as needed, while also proactively getting back to normal. One mistake we made, since we don't have much family around, is not doing more date nights early on. We just had our first one about 6 weeks ago, and whoa.

 

Anyway, things will come around.

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Let me tell you, there are times that sex absolutely sucks. They never got a second chance. 

 

 

Some guys just don't get it.

 

They think about sex like checkers, they just want to jump you.

 

Sex is more like chess. Make a good opening "move", always set up your next "move", and make that queen chase you all over the board.

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Batman is a player and Hulk could only control his rage because of pussy, like most men.

 

Here's what you're dealing with in your 30's for available women.  Insecure Girls who blame society for their lack of love, Girls who've been abused and hate all men, Girls who have it figured out and know what they want and its not virgins, Girls who just want to get ****ed and have fun (my type), Girls with kids who need a daddy, Girls who want kids but nobody wants to be their daddy, Crazy as **** girls, Girls who've given up on men and are lesbians.

 

Really, you're only chance is a girl 6-8 years younger who want an older man to take charge and make them feel secure.  Unfortunately for you, you're not going to fit the bill because you dont know how to treat the pussy and like terrible music (just kidding about that part, sort of).

 

Or you meet that girl at church who shares the same values and is somehow still available.  Which is in the unicorn category these days. 

 

Moral to the story, go bang and bang some more. 

OMG.  I couldn't be prouder of you.  "Hercules"  "Hercules"  "Hercules"

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What Crusher said.

 

I know in my wife's case, she just saw her body as "food source" for the baby all throughout breast feeding. She said she just didn't feel "horny". We were up all night, every night with the baby, so exhaustion played a huge role too. When the baby stopped breast feeding, things slowly got back to normal. She does occasionally express body image concerns, but she's always been like that. 

 

For us, we've openly talked about "when we will start doing it like normal again" from the beginning. It allows us to de-prioritize it as needed, while also proactively getting back to normal. One mistake we made, since we don't have much family around, is not doing more date nights early on. We just had our first one about 6 weeks ago, and whoa.

 

Anyway, things will come around.

Mother****ing "DATE NIGHT" FTW.  Wish I was closer.  My 14 year old daughter Rosie just passed the baby sitting class offered by the county here.  She is a baby watching savant.  It's soooo important to get out and be "lovers" again.  Mrs Crusher and I haven't worked Friday since we have gotten together.  Its Date Day. My daughter Rose go's to after school Tae Kwan Do class and my sons know if they walk in my house before 5:30 Friday I will stab their face.   We do date day instead of date night because Im old and become useless past 8:30 at night.  I mean like more useless than usual.  LOL

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Some guys just don't get it.

 

They think about sex like checkers, they just want to jump you.

 

Sex is more like chess. Make a good opening "move", always set up your next "move", and make that queen chase you all over the board.

Properly introducing your penis to a playmate is essential to the beginning of any passionate session.  

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My extremely naive take on that is that the love will be so good, the sex will be good as well as an extension of that love.  I don't want her to have to convince herself it's love.  I want the love to be there first and go from there. 

 

 

Holy crap, no wonder you don't get laid

 

#niceguys

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Last possible option in my mind. At this point the only viable possibilities for me are: 1) Stick to the plan, 2) Sex in the context of a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage (The Ape plan). There can only be one woman.

Fair. Understandable. I remember at 17 I was saving myself for the right type of girl. I waited and passed on a chick that literally laid out naked on my couch with her legs open because I thought she was dirty. I finally did it with a respectable girl that summer and I'll tell you what, the first thing I thought about after we broke up the end of the summer was, why did I pass on all the others? And my God man, go take out a masters and live on campus. It's fish in a barrel. It will never be that easy again unless you have to dip into the wallet.

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You may be right.  But there are reasons that about 70 % of marriages fail, and the numbers suggest monogamy might be the route that leads to the most happiness.  I'd like to continue to stick to the plan and see what happens.  If I'm wrong, the first thing I'll be thinking was "Damn, DCL was 100 % right."

 

 

I'd guess you have a low sex drive, and "the one" that you find and marry will also have a low sex drive and you'll be fine in a near sexless marriage.  

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Or you meet that girl at church who shares the same values and is somehow still available.  Which is in the unicorn category these days.

 

The girl I've been seeing lately is 30 and a Christian.  Her last bf was a Christian as well but had a major drug addiction he couldn't shake.  Not really in the "Unicorn" category but everything about her has been cool so far.

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No.  Truth is the right one has to pick you.  Men are too dumb to do it right.  WAY to dumb.  Again this is the reason I think you need to present yourself in the best possible manner so the right one picks you.  Ask CTM.  Smart guy, money successful and all his bait attracts are nutso chicks.  He has no choice but to stay single until he dies.  "Woman to the pickin men do the lickin."

 

 

This is 100% true... Every single one of my most serious relationships the women pursued me aggressively, and not surprisingly turned out to be domineering control freak she devils

 

At this point if a women texts me more then once a week I run...

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I'd guess you have a low sex drive, and "the one" that you find and marry will also have a low sex drive and you'll be fine in a near sexless marriage.  

 

Far from it.  It's on my mind all the time, like any other dude.

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Here's what you're dealing with in your 30's for available women.  Insecure Girls who blame society for their lack of love, Girls who've been abused and hate all men, Girls who have it figured out and know what they want and its not virgins, Girls who just want to get ****ed and have fun (my type), Girls with kids who need a daddy, Girls who want kids but nobody wants to be their daddy, Crazy as **** girls, Girls who've given up on men and are lesbians.

 

Really, you're only chance is a girl 6-8 years younger who want an older man to take charge and make them feel secure.  Unfortunately for you, you're not going to fit the bill because you dont know how to treat the pussy and like terrible music (just kidding about that part, sort of).

 

 

 

Pretty much, lol..

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Far from it.  It's on my mind all the time, like any other dude.

 

Eh, then it would I don't know.. drive you to actually have it

 

Not like it's easy to compare, but I'd guess the level of drive comes out in behavior..  And a 30 yo virgin is probably low on the scale imo (and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that at all)

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If you do it right, it's like heroin. They'll be addicted to you forever. It's like gaining a key to the city, if the city was her vagina. You create a parallel between the love she has for you, and the love she'll have of the best sex she got, making sure that she doesn't to one place for love, and another for the best sex.

.

 

who are you eddie murphy?

 

addicted forever, lol

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What Crusher said.

 

I know in my wife's case, she just saw her body as "food source" for the baby all throughout breast feeding. She said she just didn't feel "horny". We were up all night, every night with the baby, so exhaustion played a huge role too. When the baby stopped breast feeding, things slowly got back to normal. She does occasionally express body image concerns, but she's always been like that. 

 

For us, we've openly talked about "when we will start doing it like normal again" from the beginning. It allows us to de-prioritize it as needed, while also proactively getting back to normal. One mistake we made, since we don't have much family around, is not doing more date nights early on. We just had our first one about 6 weeks ago, and whoa.

 

Anyway, things will come around.

 

fwiw, it's way to early for you to be giving this kind of advice, have a second and a third, and 5 years of kids making you ******* crazy and then you can give tips on staying happily married.. you're basically still a newlywed

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Eh, then it would I don't know.. drive you to actually have it

 

Not like it's easy to compare, but I'd guess the level of drive comes out in behavior..  And a 30 yo virgin is probably low on the scale imo (and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that at all)

 

I hear ya.  When I meet the right girl I intend to try to make up for lost time, so it'll probably be good if the girl I end up with actually has a high sex drive, haha.  She'll just need to also be patient with my lack of skills.  Unicorn, I know.

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I hear ya.  When I meet the right girl I intend to try to make up for lost time, so it'll probably be good if the girl I end up with actually has a high sex drive, haha.  She'll just need to also be patient with my lack of skills.  Unicorn, I know.

 

Not a unicorn, girls in their mid to late 20's are starting to look for different things in a relationship... maybe they are sick of jerks or being used for sex.. so a virginal hugbot like you would be perfect.. The one's i go for are the ones that are tired of boy's in men's bodies and are looking for someone more mature and established ;)

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fwiw, it's way to early for you to be giving this kind of advice, have a second and a third, and 5 years of kids making you ******* crazy and then you can give tips on staying happily married.. you're basically still a newlywed

 

 

Shhhhhh.  So far so good.  he is off to a good start.  but yeah, many challenges ahead.  Persoanlly I think a "date night" every week no matter what is essential.  Even if its a couple hours away from kids and just focus on remembering what "alone time" is like.  15 years of Friday off and Mrs Crusher and I having that time to ourselves went a long way to keeping us into one another.  Sometimes with a big family you forgot about the relationship that started it.  Easy to do. 

 

Also sleeping in the same bed at night is the kiss of death to a relationship in my humble opinion.  but thats for my more advanced class.   LOL

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Not a unicorn, girls in their mid to late 20's are starting to look for different things in a relationship... maybe they are sick of jerks or being used for sex.. so a virginal hugbot like you would be perfect.. The one's i go for are the ones that are tired of boy's in men's bodies and are looking for someone more mature and established ;)

Who the **** you think your kidding?  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ end of story

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fwiw, it's way to early for you to be giving this kind of advice, have a second and a third, and 5 years of kids making you ******* crazy and then you can give tips on staying happily married.. you're basically still a newlywed

 

 

The post you quoted was my response to Lizzie about getting back to "doin' it" after having a baby, something my wife and I just did. I'm not over-reaching with advice on how to stay happily married forever, just offering him consolation so that he realizes he's not the only new dad to be starved of sex for a while. 

 

I've been with the same woman for 15 years. We've figured some sh*t out along the way. There's no such thing as "too early" if the advice is sound. 

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Shhhhhh.  So far so good.  he is off to a good start.  but yeah, many challenges ahead.  Persoanlly I think a "date night" every week no matter what is essential.  Even if its a couple hours away from kids and just focus on remembering what "alone time" is like.  15 years of Friday off and Mrs Crusher and I having that time to ourselves went a long way to keeping us into one another.  Sometimes with a big family you forgot about the relationship that started it.  Easy to do. 

 

Also sleeping in the same bed at night is the kiss of death to a relationship in my humble opinion.  but thats for my more advanced class.   LOL

 

 

Let him pour his envy into the thread. You know, as well as I do, every time I talk about my storybook relationship, he gets pissy.

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Some guys just don't get it.

 

They think about sex like checkers, they just want to jump you.

 

Sex is more like chess. Make a good opening "move", always set up your next "move", and make that queen chase you all over the board.

 

IRL LOL

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Fair. Understandable. I remember at 17 I was saving myself for the right type of girl. I waited and passed on a chick that literally laid out naked on my couch with her legs open because I thought she was dirty. I finally did it with a respectable girl that summer and I'll tell you what, the first thing I thought about after we broke up the end of the summer was, why did I pass on all the others? And my God man, go take out a masters and live on campus. It's fish in a barrel. It will never be that easy again unless you have to dip into the wallet.

 

 

I had a similar thing happen. 

 

I sort of overplayed my hand. I was very deep into the "chess match" aspect of playing girls. I had 3 girls come to my room in college, because one was a virgin and never saw a penis. I let them see and play with mine for a couple hours. No intercourse. Just play. I started fingering one of them while the others weren't paying attention, eventually she told them to leave, she stripped down and we started in... she wanted to ****. I had no condoms, and thought she was "dirty". I put the tip in, so to speak, but really just thought "if I giver her a taste, then get a blowjob, this'll be a win, then I can make her want to **** all the time going forward".

 

She wouldn't give me a blowjob. I never got to bang. I totally overplayed my hand. 

 

A smarter ape would have had condoms, and ****ed all 3 of them at once. 

 

One of my best and worst sex stories all in one night.

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I had a similar thing happen. 

 

I sort of overplayed my hand. I was very deep into the "chess match" aspect of playing girls. I had 3 girls come to my room in college, because one was a virgin and never saw a penis. I let them see and play with mine for a couple hours. No intercourse. Just play. I started fingering one of them while the others weren't paying attention, eventually she told them to leave, she stripped down and we started in... she wanted to ****. I had no condoms, and thought she was "dirty". I put the tip in, so to speak, but really just thought "if I giver her a taste, then get a blowjob, this'll be a win, then I can make her want to **** all the time going forward".

 

She wouldn't give me a blowjob. I never got to bang. I totally overplayed my hand. 

 

A smarter ape would have had condoms, and ****ed all 3 of them at once. 

 

One of my best and worst sex stories all in one night.

 

Too much detail you vile beast.  

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