Nolder Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I had a similar thing happen. I sort of overplayed my hand. I was very deep into the "chess match" aspect of playing girls. I had 3 girls come to my room in college, because one was a virgin and never saw a penis. I let them see and play with mine for a couple hours. No intercourse. Just play. I started fingering one of them while the others weren't paying attention, eventually she told them to leave, she stripped down and we started in... she wanted to ****. I had no condoms, and thought she was "dirty". I put the tip in, so to speak, but really just thought "if I giver her a taste, then get a blowjob, this'll be a win, then I can make her want to **** all the time going forward". She wouldn't give me a blowjob. I never got to bang. I totally overplayed my hand. A smarter ape would have had condoms, and ****ed all 3 of them at once. One of my best and worst sex stories all in one night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Verbal Posted May 21, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2015 How to Make Everybody Around You Uncomfortable: The Ape's Sex Life, on Netflix and Redbox soon! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 True story, but yeah obviously I thought making you guys squirm would give me laughs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I've been with the same woman for 15 years. We've figured some sh*t out along the way. There's no such thing as "too early" if the advice is sound. The challenges of parenthood and specifically multiple kids are a game changer... you got through the easy part Let him pour his envy into the thread. You know, as well as I do, every time I talk about my storybook relationship, he gets pissy. Not at all man, I am very happily single and wouldn't have any interest in what you have. I get bored easily 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Too much detail you vile beast. ^^ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 The challenges of parenthood and specifically multiple kids are a game changer... you got through the easy part Not at all man, I am very happily single and wouldn't have any interest in what you have. I get bored easily Reminds of before I had a kid, there were always those parents that were like "oh, you think that's hard, wait until you have kids". Now it's "oh, you only have 1, wait until you have 17 of them". If you're so happy, why does my happiness strike such a nerve for you? Do you realize how narcissistic it is to be incapable of imagining the same circumstances being experienced differently than the way you experienced them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leelou Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 I skipped that really long post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I skipped that really long post. Probably for the best. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizard King Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I've passed on three threesomes in my life. One was due to stupid guy code because my roomate nailed her the day before. Once was because we needed to use a babies room when the mother and child were out when I was already uncomfortable that I was acquainted with a scumbag openly cheating on his family , and one was because I had to nail the big girl to get the hot one with fake t!ts to join in. I regret two of the three. The one with the family out of the house was probably divine intervention for not getting Ebola. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Reminds of before I had a kid, there were always those parents that were like "oh, you think that's hard, wait until you have kids". Now it's "oh, you only have 1, wait until you have 17 of them". If you're so happy, why does my happiness strike such a nerve for you? Do you realize how narcissistic it is to be incapable of imagining the same circumstances being experienced differently than the way you experienced them? huh? You're happiness doesn't strike a nerve, like literally not at all. You honestly lost me with that. Seriously, you are a good dude and I'm happy you are happy. my response to you was saying that you are at the beginning stages of the whole family thing and giving advice like you are 80 years old and still happily married with 25 grand ape children running around, I imagine your opinions or perspective will change over the next 20+ years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Reminds of before I had a kid, there were always those parents that were like "oh, you think that's hard, wait until you have kids". Now it's "oh, you only have 1, wait until you have 17 of them". and people say these things cause generally it's true, you haven't lived until you've had two kids screaming at and hitting each other in the back seat because kid A is looking out kid B's window and kid B doesn't want her looking out her window. They're ******* mental 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I've passed on three threesomes in my life. One was due to stupid guy code because my roomate nailed her the day before. Once was because we needed to use a babies room when the mother and child were out when I was already uncomfortable that I was acquainted with a scumbag openly cheating on his family , and one was because I had to nail the big girl to get the hot one with fake t!ts to join in. I regret two of the three. The one with the family out of the house was probably divine intervention for not getting Ebola. It's not just mafia is it? You just spout out anything that pops into your brain. Like a hair trigger on a semi auotmatic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 and people say these things cause generally it's true, you haven't lived until you've had two kids screaming at and hitting each other in the back seat because kid A is looking out kid B's window and kid B doesn't want her looking out her window. They're ******* mental Try five in a suburban coming home from the beach while everyone is tired and cranky. Honestly not sure how Mrs Crusher and I did it. Really I'm not. Big part of why I adore that woman more than anything in my life. Not sure why or how she tolerated that. but she did. Couple summers we actually went to the beach every weekend with everybody. Mine blowing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 and people say these things cause generally it's true, you haven't lived until you've had two kids screaming at and hitting each other in the back seat because kid A is looking out kid B's window and kid B doesn't want her looking out her window. They're ******* mental Haha - this makes me want to call my parents and apologize. They had to raise 3 psychopath boys who would fight over anything...and a daughter who is far from sane and wasnt scared to stand up to her meathead brothers. I can remember my father pulling the car off the side of the road and going mental numerous times because of some stupid sh*t going on in the backseat. Interesting dynamic in my family too. My parents are going on 52 years of marriage this year. All of my siblings have been married and divorced. I'm the only one that hasnt taken the plunge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I've passed on three threesomes in my life. One was due to stupid guy code because my roomate nailed her the day before. Once was because we needed to use a babies room when the mother and child were out when I was already uncomfortable that I was acquainted with a scumbag openly cheating on his family , and one was because I had to nail the big girl to get the hot one with fake t!ts to join in. I regret two of the three. The one with the family out of the house was probably divine intervention for not getting Ebola. It's not just mafia is it? You just spout out anything that pops into your brain. Like a hair trigger on a semi auotmatic. Whew. My post will fade in people's memories after that one... lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 huh? You're happiness doesn't strike a nerve, like literally not at all. You honestly lost me with that. Seriously, you are a good dude and I'm happy you are happy. my response to you was saying that you are at the beginning stages of the whole family thing and giving advice like you are 80 years old and still happily married with 25 grand ape children running around, I imagine your opinions or perspective will change over the next 20+ years. It used to be part of the back and forth banter. You can't remember that, but you remember the "have it out for you" pun from JI? Weirdo. I knew what you were getting at. Still, doesn't mean the advice I was giving wasn't credible, just because I don't have multiple kids and blah, blah, blah... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Whew. My post will fade in people's memories after that one... lol I went all "Internal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" after reading yours. Looks like a need a double dose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolder Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I should invite your mothers to read this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I think its important to note that the Ape has only had missionary sex for the past decade and is giving relationship/sex tips in this thread... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I should invite your mothers to read this thread. Mine would probably call me a pussy for not banging all 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I think its important to note that the Ape has only had missionary sex for the past decade and is giving relationship/sex tips in this thread... lol, impossible, I'm not catholic and have never even known a priest... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolder Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Mine would probably call me a pussy for not banging all 3. sh*t grandma is pretty hardcore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Haha - this makes me want to call my parents and apologize. They had to raise 3 psychopath boys who would fight over anything...and a daughter who is far from sane and wasnt scared to stand up to her meathead brothers. I can remember my father pulling the car off the side of the road and going mental numerous times because of some stupid sh*t going on in the backseat. Yep, but your parents get to enjoy their grandchildren doing the same to you, so it all evens out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 lol, impossible, I'm not catholic and have never even known a priest... I wish I had CTM/Dbates necro abilities to find that thread. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Yep, but your parents get to enjoy their grandchildren doing the same to you, so it all evens out. My siblings kids...sure. haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 sh*t grandma is pretty hardcore. What I meant was that she'd let me hear it for failing. She grew up dirt poor, she could be the sweetest woman in the world, or the meanest. You don't think I got this thick skin from you guys, do you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I wish I had CTM/Dbates necro abilities to find that thread. lol Serious question, are you talking about a real thread? I don't remember threads from last week. What are you referring to? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 It used to be part of the back and forth banter. You can't remember that, but you remember the "have it out for you" pun from JI? Weirdo. I knew what you were getting at. Still, doesn't mean the advice I was giving wasn't credible, just because I don't have multiple kids and blah, blah, blah... oh sh*t.. i'm a little hungover today. And yeah, i didn't say your advice wasn't credible. What works for one couple might not for another, honestly I think for it to work with me I'd need a girl who has her own interests and friends so we can do things separately sometimes. The last 2 serious relationships I had the women wanted to be together 24/7.. it's too much. But probably the best couple I know, been together since high school, 3 kids.. happy.. they are together all the time and it works for them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 oh sh*t.. i'm a little hungover today. And yeah, i didn't say your advice wasn't credible. What works for one couple might not for another, honestly I think for it to work with me I'd need a girl who has her own interests and friends so we can do things separately sometimes. The last 2 serious relationships I had the women wanted to be together 24/7.. it's too much. But probably the best couple I know, been together since high school, 3 kids.. happy.. they are together all the time and it works for them. Yea, that's how we are. When I need a break, I get one. Normally, we want to spend our downtime together though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Who the **** you think your kidding? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ end of story that's what i said, mature and established... (minus the mature part) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I should invite your mothers to read this thread. I moved out of my mothers house in 1984. She has fully accepted the fact she raised an a$$hole already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 oh sh*t.. i'm a little hungover today. And yeah, i didn't say your advice wasn't credible. What works for one couple might not for another, honestly I think for it to work with me I'd need a girl who has her own interests and friends so we can do things separately sometimes. The last 2 serious relationships I had the women wanted to be together 24/7.. it's too much. But probably the best couple I know, been together since high school, 3 kids.. happy.. they are together all the time and it works for them. Any woman who wants to be around you that much should be committed to an institution immediately. Sicko's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I wish I had CTM/Dbates necro abilities to find that thread. lol burp 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Serious question, are you talking about a real thread? I don't remember threads from last week. What are you referring to? I think it was a thread about you either popping the question, getting married or married sex...something like that. You were talking about married sex is so much better and indicated something about missionary and since you dated your wife for a decade...I took a dig about a decade of missionary or something like that. I'm terrible at remember threads too. All I remember is it was universally recognized as the funniest post I've ever made (I think even you gave me props, lol). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I think it was a thread about you either popping the question, getting married or married sex...something like that. You were talking about married sex is so much better and indicated something about missionary and since you dated your wife for a decade...I took a dig about a decade of missionary or something like that. I'm terrible at remember threads too. All I remember is it was universally recognized as the funniest post I've ever made (I think even you gave me props, lol). look up dumb dumb 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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