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I had a similar thing happen. 

 

I sort of overplayed my hand. I was very deep into the "chess match" aspect of playing girls. I had 3 girls come to my room in college, because one was a virgin and never saw a penis. I let them see and play with mine for a couple hours. No intercourse. Just play. I started fingering one of them while the others weren't paying attention, eventually she told them to leave, she stripped down and we started in... she wanted to ****. I had no condoms, and thought she was "dirty". I put the tip in, so to speak, but really just thought "if I giver her a taste, then get a blowjob, this'll be a win, then I can make her want to **** all the time going forward".

 

She wouldn't give me a blowjob. I never got to bang. I totally overplayed my hand. 

 

A smarter ape would have had condoms, and ****ed all 3 of them at once. 

 

One of my best and worst sex stories all in one night.

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I've been with the same woman for 15 years. We've figured some sh*t out along the way. There's no such thing as "too early" if the advice is sound. 

 

The challenges of parenthood and specifically multiple kids are a game changer... you got through the easy part  ;)

 

Let him pour his envy into the thread. You know, as well as I do, every time I talk about my storybook relationship, he gets pissy.

 

Not at all man, I am very happily single and wouldn't have any interest in what you have. I get bored easily

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The challenges of parenthood and specifically multiple kids are a game changer... you got through the easy part   ;)

 

 

Not at all man, I am very happily single and wouldn't have any interest in what you have. I get bored easily

 

 

Reminds of before I had a kid, there were always those parents that were like "oh, you think that's hard, wait until you have kids". Now it's "oh, you only have 1, wait until you have 17 of them".

 

If you're so happy, why does my happiness strike such a nerve for you? Do you realize how narcissistic it is to be incapable of imagining the same circumstances being experienced differently than the way you experienced them?

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I've passed on three threesomes in my life. One was due to stupid guy code because my roomate nailed her the day before. Once was because we needed to use a babies room when the mother and child were out when I was already uncomfortable that I was acquainted with a scumbag openly cheating on his family , and one was because I had to nail the big girl to get the hot one with fake t!ts to join in. I regret two of the three. The one with the family out of the house was probably divine intervention for not getting Ebola.

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Reminds of before I had a kid, there were always those parents that were like "oh, you think that's hard, wait until you have kids". Now it's "oh, you only have 1, wait until you have 17 of them".

 

If you're so happy, why does my happiness strike such a nerve for you? Do you realize how narcissistic it is to be incapable of imagining the same circumstances being experienced differently than the way you experienced them?

 

 

huh? You're happiness doesn't strike a nerve, like literally not at all.  You honestly lost me with that.  Seriously, you are a good dude and I'm happy you are happy. 

 

my response to you was saying that you are at the beginning stages of the whole family thing and giving advice like you are 80 years old and still happily married with 25 grand ape children running around, I imagine your opinions or perspective will change over the next 20+ years. 

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Reminds of before I had a kid, there were always those parents that were like "oh, you think that's hard, wait until you have kids". Now it's "oh, you only have 1, wait until you have 17 of them".

 

 

 

 

and people say these things cause generally it's true, you haven't lived until you've had two kids screaming at and hitting each other in the back seat because kid A is looking out kid B's window and kid B doesn't want her looking out her window. They're ******* mental

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I've passed on three threesomes in my life. One was due to stupid guy code because my roomate nailed her the day before. Once was because we needed to use a babies room when the mother and child were out when I was already uncomfortable that I was acquainted with a scumbag openly cheating on his family , and one was because I had to nail the big girl to get the hot one with fake t!ts to join in. I regret two of the three. The one with the family out of the house was probably divine intervention for not getting Ebola.

 

 

It's not just mafia is it?  You just spout out anything that pops into your brain.  Like a hair trigger on a semi auotmatic.

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and people say these things cause generally it's true, you haven't lived until you've had two kids screaming at and hitting each other in the back seat because kid A is looking out kid B's window and kid B doesn't want her looking out her window. They're ******* mental

Try five in a suburban coming home from the beach while everyone is tired and cranky.   Honestly not sure how Mrs Crusher and I did it.  Really I'm not.  Big part of why I adore that woman more than anything in my life.  Not sure  why or how she tolerated that.  but she did.  Couple summers we actually went to the beach every weekend with everybody.  Mine blowing.

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and people say these things cause generally it's true, you haven't lived until you've had two kids screaming at and hitting each other in the back seat because kid A is looking out kid B's window and kid B doesn't want her looking out her window. They're ******* mental

 

Haha - this makes me want to call my parents and apologize.  They had to raise 3 psychopath boys who would fight over anything...and a daughter who is far from sane and wasnt scared to stand up to her meathead brothers.  I can remember my father pulling the car off the side of the road and going mental numerous times because of some stupid sh*t going on in the backseat. 

 

Interesting dynamic in my family too.  My parents are going on 52 years of marriage this year.  All of my siblings have been married and divorced.  I'm the only one that hasnt taken the plunge. 

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I've passed on three threesomes in my life. One was due to stupid guy code because my roomate nailed her the day before. Once was because we needed to use a babies room when the mother and child were out when I was already uncomfortable that I was acquainted with a scumbag openly cheating on his family , and one was because I had to nail the big girl to get the hot one with fake t!ts to join in. I regret two of the three. The one with the family out of the house was probably divine intervention for not getting Ebola.

 

 

 

It's not just mafia is it?  You just spout out anything that pops into your brain.  Like a hair trigger on a semi auotmatic.

 

 

Whew. My post will fade in people's memories after that one... lol

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huh? You're happiness doesn't strike a nerve, like literally not at all.  You honestly lost me with that.  Seriously, you are a good dude and I'm happy you are happy. 

 

my response to you was saying that you are at the beginning stages of the whole family thing and giving advice like you are 80 years old and still happily married with 25 grand ape children running around, I imagine your opinions or perspective will change over the next 20+ years. 

 

 

It used to be part of the back and forth banter. You can't remember that, but you remember the "have it out for you" pun from JI?

 

Weirdo.

 

I knew what you were getting at. Still, doesn't mean the advice I was giving wasn't credible, just because I don't have multiple kids and blah, blah, blah... 

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Whew. My post will fade in people's memories after that one... lol

 

I went all "Internal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" after reading yours.   Looks like a need a double dose.

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I think its important to note that the Ape has only had missionary sex for the past decade and is giving relationship/sex tips in this thread...

 

lol, impossible, I'm not catholic and have never even known a priest...

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Haha - this makes me want to call my parents and apologize.  They had to raise 3 psychopath boys who would fight over anything...and a daughter who is far from sane and wasnt scared to stand up to her meathead brothers.  I can remember my father pulling the car off the side of the road and going mental numerous times because of some stupid sh*t going on in the backseat. 

 

 

Yep, but your parents get to enjoy their grandchildren doing the same to you, so it all evens out.

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sh*t grandma is pretty hardcore.

 

What I meant was that she'd let me hear it for failing. She grew up dirt poor, she could be the sweetest woman in the world, or the meanest. You don't think I got this thick skin from you guys, do you?

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I wish I had CTM/Dbates necro abilities to find that thread. lol 

 

Serious question, are you talking about a real thread? I don't remember threads from last week. What are you referring to?

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It used to be part of the back and forth banter. You can't remember that, but you remember the "have it out for you" pun from JI?

 

Weirdo.

 

I knew what you were getting at. Still, doesn't mean the advice I was giving wasn't credible, just because I don't have multiple kids and blah, blah, blah... 

 

 

oh sh*t.. i'm a little hungover today. ;)

 

And yeah, i didn't say your advice wasn't credible. What works for one couple might not for another, honestly I think for it to work with me I'd need a girl who has her own interests and friends so we can do things separately sometimes. The last 2 serious relationships I had the women wanted to be together 24/7.. it's too much. But probably the best couple I know, been together since high school, 3 kids.. happy.. they are together all the time and it works for them. 

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oh sh*t.. i'm a little hungover today. ;)

 

And yeah, i didn't say your advice wasn't credible. What works for one couple might not for another, honestly I think for it to work with me I'd need a girl who has her own interests and friends so we can do things separately sometimes. The last 2 serious relationships I had the women wanted to be together 24/7.. it's too much. But probably the best couple I know, been together since high school, 3 kids.. happy.. they are together all the time and it works for them. 

 

Yea, that's how we are. When I need a break, I get one. Normally, we want to spend our downtime together though. 

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Who the **** you think your kidding?  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ end of story

 

that's what i said, mature and established... (minus the mature part)

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oh sh*t.. i'm a little hungover today. ;)

 

And yeah, i didn't say your advice wasn't credible. What works for one couple might not for another, honestly I think for it to work with me I'd need a girl who has her own interests and friends so we can do things separately sometimes. The last 2 serious relationships I had the women wanted to be together 24/7.. it's too much. But probably the best couple I know, been together since high school, 3 kids.. happy.. they are together all the time and it works for them. 

 

 

Any woman who wants to be around you that much should be committed to an institution immediately.  Sicko's

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Serious question, are you talking about a real thread? I don't remember threads from last week. What are you referring to?

 

I think it was a thread about you either popping the question, getting married or married sex...something like that.  You were talking about married sex is so much better and indicated something about missionary and since you dated your wife for a decade...I took a dig about a decade of missionary or something like that.  I'm terrible at remember threads too.  All I remember is it was universally recognized as the funniest post I've ever made (I think even you gave me props, lol).

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I think it was a thread about you either popping the question, getting married or married sex...something like that.  You were talking about married sex is so much better and indicated something about missionary and since you dated your wife for a decade...I took a dig about a decade of missionary or something like that.  I'm terrible at remember threads too.  All I remember is it was universally recognized as the funniest post I've ever made (I think even you gave me props, lol).

 

 

look up dumb dumb

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