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So I totally f*cked myself up tonight....


slats

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I was at a bar last night, checking out a favorite band of mine, and found myself talking to the drummer's wife who told me they were high school sweethearts and only recently reconnected. I thought that was really cool, so I thought I'd look up an old flame.

Not just an old flame, though, a girl who I was absolutely bat-sh*t crazy heads-over-heels in love with. She was a couple years older than me. Absolutely gorgeous, smart, funny, talented, absolutely everything. We met auditioning for the esteemed Connecticut School of Broadcasting. We both passed, and met again when we were in the same class. We were both psyched, as we were obviously the young, good-looking duo, and had caught each other's eye previously. Everyone in the class knew we'd hook up, and we did.

I've only dated a couple adopted girls in my lifetime. I was adopted, and it's a very important part of who I am. This girl was adopted, too, and we shared a much deeper connection as a result of that, something only adopted kids would completely get.

I don't know if tonight just happened to be the night I spelled her name correctly or what, but I just found out that she died less than two years after I saw her last. And I'm completely messed up over it. I just looked, and it have a scrap of paper tucked into an old book on which she wrote her two phone numbers at the time. I'll probably keep that little scrap of paper until the day I die.

Anyway, her mother set up a charity in her name. I'm gonna give some money to it. Probably a lot. It would mean a lot to me if anyone here decided to donate as well.

https://www.cnycf.org/sslpage.aspx?pid=918#.U1xK5sS9KSM

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If there's one thing I've learned the hard way it's to just forget about exes. It is almost never a good idea to look them up or reach out. High Fidelity ****ed a lot of dudes in that regard. It's not an enlightening or spiritual process. Majority of the time it's a negative experience.

 

On a related note I remember there was an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry reconnects with an ex and she makes him go to an incest survivors group with her.

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crap.. I was all prepared to comment that this thread would have a totally different expectation if T0mShane had authored it.... then I read the somber post.. real sorry dude.. getting old sucks , everytime I hear about someone I went to high school with that passed its a major bummer, regardless of whether or not I even liked them at the time

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I was at a bar last night, checking out a favorite band of mine, and found myself talking to the drummer's wife who told me they were high school sweethearts and only recently reconnected. I thought that was really cool, so I thought I'd look up an old flame.

Not just an old flame, though, a girl who I was absolutely bat-sh*t crazy heads-over-heels in love with. She was a couple years older than me. Absolutely gorgeous, smart, funny, talented, absolutely everything. We met auditioning for the esteemed Connecticut School of Broadcasting. We both passed, and met again when we were in the same class. We were both psyched, as we were obviously the young, good-looking duo, and had caught each other's eye previously. Everyone in the class knew we'd hook up, and we did.

I've only dated a couple adopted girls in my lifetime. I was adopted, and it's a very important part of who I am. This girl was adopted, too, and we shared a much deeper connection as a result of that, something only adopted kids would completely get.

I don't know if tonight just happened to be the night I spelled her name correctly or what, but I just found out that she died less than two years after I saw her last. And I'm completely messed up over it. I just looked, and it have a scrap of paper tucked into an old book on which she wrote her two phone numbers at the time. I'll probably keep that little scrap of paper until the day I die.

Anyway, her mother set up a charity in her name. I'm gonna give some money to it. Probably a lot. It would mean a lot to me if anyone here decided to donate as well.

https://www.cnycf.org/sslpage.aspx?pid=918#.U1xK5sS9KSM

 

Sounds like you were a pair of kindred spirits... and while it's extremely jarring to find out something so unfortunate, take solace and feel lucky knowing that you had a role in each other's lives that meant that much. Frankly, many people don't ever get to know what that "hurts so bad" kind of love is like. 

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Sounds like you were a pair of kindred spirits...

 

Must you ruin everything?

 

Ouch slats, this is one of the many reasons to avoid looking up exes. OTOH reading that page - you have good taste. It sounds like you were a pair of kindred spirits.

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Must you ruin everything?

 

Ouch slats, this is one of the many reasons to avoid looking up exes. OTOH reading that page - you have good taste.

 

I suppose, rather than acknowledging the feelings he expressed, I could have just trolled someone else in the thread and then told him he should have never looked her up to begin with though, that would have definitely been less ruin-ey. 

 

Try to be less pathetic.

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Oh my god, she was so completely awesome. She had a boyfriend when I first met her, who she introduced me to, and totally had to standby and watch while I maneuvered my way in. And she had another best friend (female), who was also in love with her and didn't want any of us boys around. That was the only way you could interact with this girl, though. If you knew her, you were in love with her.

I knew she was sick. Because of her illness, she couldn't have kids. And as an adoptee, I had to have kids. My own blood relatives. If she could've had children, my whole life would've been different. I know that. Just amazing to think about today.

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Sorry about the discovery, slats. That's rough to find out, especially when you know she was special like that. I'm close friends with the woman who filled that role in my life once, and I make it a point to never cross that line with her again. There's a reason that way leads on to way.

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