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Deadpool Mafia - Game On!


Leelou

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7 hours ago, Dicetosser said:

vote DPR

 

old geezer keeps interupting my texting to try and teach me stuff.

 

i dont wanna hear about how it was back in dinosaur days.

 

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Arrr Matey (3) Gerbal, LovelyNyn, Teh Lizard
Gerbal (2) - JuicyCode, Virgin
Teh Lizard (1) - Arrr Matey
Br1ckHouse (1) - CrushLovah
SexyHessy (1) - Gorilla 
JuciyCode (1) - Br1ckHouse
Pacturd (1) - DP

Not Voting - SexyHessy, Batman, Sleepy, SaladTosser

With 13 alive, it takes 7 to lynch

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Right about now, you're probably wondering how I ended up looking like Freddy Krueger face-****ed a topographical map of Utah. I mean, it's bad. 

 

deadpool-make-up.jpg

 

Don't say I didn't warn you. Really, you can stop throwing up now. 

 

Back to me. Life was great for once. I met an amazing girl. We had the best sex ever, and her crazy matched my crazy. Love is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world smells like a daffodil daydream. I asked her to marry me, and she actually said yes. It was too good to be true. That's when life hit me like a ton of bricks. I got cancer. Not just any cancer, stage 4 end of life you are dying tomorrow cancer. 

 

Wait Dopiner, stop the car! 

 

*Mr. Pool runs out of the cab. Scene changes to an ice rink* 

 

Where's Francis?? Tell me where the **** Francis is, Darthe! Tell me NOW or you're going to die! 

 

watch-deadpool-online-cinemanow-offering

 

 

Darthe, was killed by a Zamboni.

 

 

Now where was I....

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Today is one of those days where you checked the forecast and it said it would be cloudy with no mention of rain. So you are like awesome, I can wear this white shirt and not grab my umbrella from the table, since that’s where you left it when you cleaned out your purse last night. 

You walk out the door, and it’s cloudy as expected. As you drive to work, small drops turn into larger, more frequent drops. Finally it’s raining. As you pull up to work you remember you left your larger umbrella under your desk, and the only options in the car are a Harley Quinn umbrella or a sweater that clashes with your shirt. Wanting to keep some dignity you need to make a choice. Choosing to not get any complaints against you since Harley is in her tight harlequin outfit with her hammer, you grab the sweater and make a dash to the door. Winded, you sit down to your computer and type this up. 

Yeah, so how’s your morning? 

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3 minutes ago, Leelou said:

Today is one of those days where you checked the forecast and it said it would be cloudy with no mention of rain. So you are like awesome, I can wear this white shirt and not grab my umbrella from the table, since that’s where you left it when you cleaned out your purse last night. 

You walk out the door, and it’s cloudy as expected. As you drive to work, small drops turn into larger, more frequent drops. Finally it’s raining. As you pull up to work you remember you left your larger umbrella under your desk, and the only options in the car are a Harley Quinn umbrella or a sweater that clashes with your shirt. Wanting to keep some dignity you need to make a choice. Choosing to not get any complaints against you since Harley is in her tight harlequin outfit with her hammer, you grab the sweater and make a dash to the door. Winded, you sit down to your computer and type this up. 

Yeah, so how’s your morning? 

Sounds like you need to turn that frown upside down...

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My daughters wedding is in a week. I may be scarce or I may need to post more than everyone else so I don’t lose my fucking mind.

Im literally considering hiring a mortician to be on stand by in case one of my ancient relatives decides to die during the wedding. 

Not even sure it’s a thing. Figure the mortician would fit right into an Italian wedding wearing his black suit. Tell people it’s my cousin from Scranton. 

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Just now, Dicetosser said:

congrats Crush   have u sufficiently threatened the fiancee ??

 

If I thought I needed to threaten him they wouldn’t be getting married. He is an absolute gem of a kid. Plus they are both 30 and way smarter than me. So I’m trusting in the process. 

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1 minute ago, The Crusher said:

If I thought I needed to threaten him they wouldn’t be getting married. He is an absolute gem of a kid. Plus they are both 30 and way smarter than me. So I’m trusting in the process. 

DUDE!!  its ure DUTY   as a father   to threaten the kid with horrible things if he ever hurts ure daughter!!

 

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5 minutes ago, Dicetosser said:

DUDE!!  its ure DUTY   as a father   to threaten the kid with horrible things if he ever hurts ure daughter!!

 

 

2 minutes ago, Dicetosser said:

im a dad

 

 

apparently i once scared a boy off without even trying.....

 

I consider that a job well done!!!

So you think I need to try to scare somebody? Haha cute. 

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12 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

Wall Of tongue guy’ classic DPR

No wall today. Didn't it cause trouble the last time because too many gifs on one post or something? LOL

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8 minutes ago, Dicetosser said:

im a dad

 

 

apparently i once scared a boy off without even trying.....

 

I consider that a job well done!!!

Might not have been for the reason you think. Just sayin'.

dad-joke-gif.gif

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2 minutes ago, Dicetosser said:

i just dont want you to miss an opportunity bro

To be honest it’s tougher for me to walk around and not scare people. Mrs Crusher won’t even let me take a deep breathe through my Nose in public without telling me,” Be nice , you promised.” LOL

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44 minutes ago, Leelou said:

Today is one of those days where you checked the forecast and it said it would be cloudy with no mention of rain. So you are like awesome, I can wear this white shirt and not grab my umbrella from the table, since that’s where you left it when you cleaned out your purse last night. 

You walk out the door, and it’s cloudy as expected. As you drive to work, small drops turn into larger, more frequent drops. Finally it’s raining. As you pull up to work you remember you left your larger umbrella under your desk, and the only options in the car are a Harley Quinn umbrella or a sweater that clashes with your shirt. Wanting to keep some dignity you need to make a choice. Choosing to not get any complaints against you since Harley is in her tight harlequin outfit with her hammer, you grab the sweater and make a dash to the door. Winded, you sit down to your computer and type this up. 

Yeah, so how’s your morning? 

Good read.  I'm sure the sweater looks great.  I just got up.  Coffee brewing.  My wife has four birds as we recently lost one.  Her cage mate is screeching the mating call from her cage.  My head is pounding from the bird and the lack of caffeine.  I stroll into the computer room so I can hear myself think.  The screeching has stopped as the bird does not see me.  Now I'm afraid to walk back in to get my coffee.  Choices and opportunity cost.

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47 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

My daughters wedding is in a week. I may be scarce or I may need to post more than everyone else so I don’t lose my ******* mind.

Im literally considering hiring a mortician to be on stand by in case one of my ancient relatives decides to die during the wedding. 

Not even sure it’s a thing. Figure the mortician would fit right into an Italian wedding wearing his black suit. Tell people it’s my cousin from Scranton. 

Congrats dude.  The mortician and the bartender are important hires.

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9 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

Come on now.  I'm 32. 

At 32 and still a virgin, you're life expecting drastically drops.  You're probably good till like 64, maybe you get lucky and string it out till 70 because of excessive hugging.  So you're half way there!  Enjoy!

 

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