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My quick pitch to "Reboot" Indiana Jones


Jet_Engine1

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OK, Ford wants to do another IJ movie, but the last one was a disaster and nobody liked or bought into the  "Mutt" character and Shia, though great in Fury, is an unlikable kook...

 

SO, we bring back Jones but hes now essentially Marcus Brody at a University (from Raiders, not the joke they turned him into for Crusade).  Retired from adventuring but still respected as a top expert and stating how things Need to be studied....this should be in a museum! 

And an old friend visits him for some information and advice.... Wan Li. Better known as Short Round. Hes in his early/mid 30s. He survived WW2, been to university,  and is trying to be a bit of a badass. And he needs advice from his old friend and Mentor Dr. Jones on his quest for the "HIDDEN MACGUFFIN OF _____".  Shoot, we'll rip off a bit from the Uncharted series because they can't  seem to get that series going...but set in the 50s. Shh.

 

Cast Ki Hong Lee or someone to play an action hero/smart ass, dont let Lucas near the script, and bam. Hip, cool, diverse, badass franchise is saved. Have Indiana Jones ride off into  the sunset and pass off the Fedora to a worthy successor.  No reason to kill of Indy. None. Keep the same tone of the first 3, without slapstick stupidity. 

 

 

Make Billions.

 

 

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5 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

I like it, but Lucas would drive it into the ground and producers would demand that any Asian actor would need to do karate and it’d be a mess. 

Lucas is done making movies after Crystal Skull and the Prequels.  Hes over it. He sold out to Disney as an FU to the hate. 

 

And in this instance, the pc crap about "cultural appropriation" would be helpful to not turn the character into a 1980s Jackie Chan stereotype. 

 

My kids LOVE the Indy movies and are watching one now.  Would love to see the franchise continue. They have a built in successor. But Lucas became too ham fisted to see it. Sad. 

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30 minutes ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

Lucas is done making movies after Crystal Skull and the Prequels.  Hes over it. He sold out to Disney as an FU to the hate. 

 

And in this instance, the pc crap about "cultural appropriation" would be helpful to not turn the character into a 1980s Jackie Chan stereotype. 

 

My kids LOVE the Indy movies and are watching one now.  Would love to see the franchise continue. They have a built in successor. But Lucas became too ham fisted to see it. Sad. 

I think it’s a GREAT idea and I’d run to see it, I just have no faith in the principals to do it justice.

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I don't know if you've seen the "South Park" episode where they not-so-metaphorically explored the effect that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull had on Indiana Jones fans, but it pretty much sums up my disdain for that fourth film more so than I could ever hope to express on my own. 

That said, 

I love Indiana Jones. I grew up on Indiana Jones. I used to think that Temple of Doom was a weak film. 

Not anymore. 

I walked out of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I saw it in the theatre, my enthusiasm waned from the opening CGI groundhog Jar-Jar-Binksian intro, and later when the "inter-dimensional beings" poisoned the screen I walked out. 

I had never walked out of a movie before, but I walked out of that one. 

Now Temple of Doom is Citizen Kane. 

Short Round is a great character and I'd much rather see him take the proverbial fedora than some forced and awkward Wild One clone who is far more douchebag than he is Brando. 

Love the idea. 

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1 hour ago, peebag said:

How about the studios actually do some research and look at new content\ideas and develop that?

I think it's because it takes too much work and resources to raise the movie-going public's awareness on a new project no one is familiar with and get people interested in going to see it. If you do a reboot/remake of an existing franchise you immediately have that brand recognition and people get an idea of what to expect from the title of the film alone. It streamlines the marketing process to its simplest form. 

I'm with you though. I guarantee there are a thousand undeveloped scripts floating around Hollywood right now that would make great films. Unfortunately most of them will never make it to the screen. 

 

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On August 25, 2018 at 9:36 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

Lucas is done making movies after Crystal Skull and the Prequels.  Hes over it. He sold out to Disney as an FU to the hate. 

 

And in this instance, the pc crap about "cultural appropriation" would be helpful to not turn the character into a 1980s Jackie Chan stereotype. 

 

My kids LOVE the Indy movies and are watching one now.  Would love to see the franchise continue. They have a built in successor. But Lucas became too ham fisted to see it. Sad. 

He sold out to Disney because he's a stupid piece of $hit ... But he showed what a piece of $h*t he truly is long before that ... with the worst film ever written in Episode 1 ... F*cking d**shbag stole my childhood from me that day!!

 

😡😡😡💩

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14 hours ago, ljr said:

He sold out to Disney because he's a stupid piece of $hit ... But he showed what a piece of $h*t he truly is long before that ... with the worst film ever written in Episode 1 ... F*cking d**shbag stole my childhood from me that day!!

 

😡😡😡💩

Have you heard this song? You'd probably enjoy it. The music doesn't start until almost a minute into this video, but it's a fun song worth a listen. 

 

On a personal note, I used to think the prequels sucked, but then I suffered through the cinematic abortions that were The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. Consequently, I owe Jar-Jar Binks and Hayden Christensen a HUGE apology. I'd rather watch Episodes I-III a hundred times than have to sit through Mary Sue mastering the Force in 15 seconds and a dull, jaded Luke Skywalker drinking fresh-squeezed CGI alien titty milk. 

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On 8/25/2018 at 7:27 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

OK, Ford wants to do another IJ movie, but the last one was a disaster and nobody liked or bought into the  "Mutt" character and Shia, though great in Fury, is an unlikable kook...

 

SO, we bring back Jones but hes now essentially Marcus Brody at a University (from Raiders, not the joke they turned him into for Crusade).  Retired from adventuring but still respected as a top expert and stating how things Need to be studied....this should be in a museum! 

And an old friend visits him for some information and advice.... Wan Li. Better known as Short Round. Hes in his early/mid 30s. He survived WW2, been to university,  and is trying to be a bit of a badass. And he needs advice from his old friend and Mentor Dr. Jones on his quest for the "HIDDEN MACGUFFIN OF _____".  Shoot, we'll rip off a bit from the Uncharted series because they can't  seem to get that series going...but set in the 50s. Shh.

 

Cast Ki Hong Lee or someone to play an action hero/smart ass, dont let Lucas near the script, and bam. Hip, cool, diverse, badass franchise is saved. Have Indiana Jones ride off into  the sunset and pass off the Fedora to a worthy successor.  No reason to kill of Indy. None. Keep the same tone of the first 3, without slapstick stupidity. 

 

 

 

The more I think about this idea (yes, I spend time thinking about stuff like this instead of using my powers for good), the more I like it. I'll type out a rough synopsis of what I've been mentally kicking around the past couple of days and see what you think. It's similar to yours in many ways, which makes me think that this is the obvious direction the franchise should go. 

Short Round is now right around 30; he became an amateur historian/archaeologist like his mentor Dr. Jones but works some crap office job to pay the bills--so he's got a healthy need for some good old fashioned adventurin' like he used to do with Indy. 

Short Round goes to visit Indy in the States, but when he arrives Indy has gone missing. After a surprise meeting with Marion and some background explainery from her, he discovers Indy had been working on finding [INSERT MACGUFFIN HERE], and [MACGUFFIN] happens to be related to an area of Short Round's expertise. (There are a TON of great Eastern Asian historical storylines they could go with here.) 

Short Round picks up the trail, which introduces us to the Bad Guys (some relation to the Lao Che crime syndicate from Temple of Doom), and eventually arrives in Shanghai where he tracks down Indy. The two of them find [MACGUFFIN] after some action sequences (believable ones that take into consideration that Indy is f*cking 70 years old) and save the proverbial day. At the end Indy buys a new hat and offers Short Round his fedora, but Short Round puts on a Yankees cap instead. 

(And I know the "missing mentor" trope is played out in movies as a plot device, but if you're going to cast Harrison Ford and introduce Short Round as the main character it works for motivation.) 

In this film Short Round starts out as kind of an awkward pussy when it comes to fighting since he's basically just an office drone but he gets more proficient as the Bad Guys come after him. Maybe he picks up a whip at some point and hilarity ensues.

And no karate. 

A younger John Cho-type would be perfect for the Short Round role. And I don't like saying the phrase "John Cho-type" because there are a million great Asian actors who could fit the bill, but I reference him because most people are familiar with Cho's work and he's got that everyman likability the role would require. 

giphy.gif

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13 hours ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

Shorty was kicking ass at 12, survived the Thugee cult, and probably lived through The Japanese invasions of China. Hes a backstory built-in tough guy. But we're in the same neighborhood. 

Yeah, that makes sense. And that would work if not for Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Shia jumped in with his "I don't play by society's rules" character and just came off as a total f*ckhead. I mean, I like Shia as an actor in a handful of movies but this "tough guy" role (and entire film) was a derivative disaster of mind-boggling proportions. They weren't even trying to mask the fact that they were blatantly ripping off another movie to visually establish Shia's character's personality with the least effort possible. 

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indy4shia-1280bjpg-b4d5b6_1280w.jpg

I think we should distance ourselves from Shia's bulls*t half-assed Brando impression in the last movie and make Short Round a bit more relatable. (I say this like you and I are actually cowriting the script--which maybe we should. Realistically we would probably do a better job than a pro with no regard for the source material.) 

In my thinking, Short Round had all those cool adventures and a dramatic life when he was young but then settled into the proverbial rat race and forgot who he was. His character's initial motivation would be to "find himself" and recapture some of that former glory by hooking up with Indy again. As the movie progresses he rediscovers his inner badass. 

Bam. Character development. They give Oscars just for having that these days. That's how they do it in Hollywood. (Well, they snort a bunch of coke first, but you get the idea.) 

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On August 28, 2018 at 4:22 PM, Bombdirt said:

Have you heard this song? You'd probably enjoy it. The music doesn't start until almost a minute into this video, but it's a fun song worth a listen. 

 

On a personal note, I used to think the prequels sucked, but then I suffered through the cinematic abortions that were The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. Consequently, I owe Jar-Jar Binks and Hayden Christensen a HUGE apology. I'd rather watch Episodes I-III a hundred times than have to sit through Mary Sue mastering the Force in 15 seconds and a dull, jaded Luke Skywalker drinking fresh-squeezed CGI alien titty milk. 

OMG ... LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

 

i hadn't ever seen that before ... So f'in true!  Those guys should have received a Grammy award!!!

 

i'm going to send that link to my brother who feels the same way!

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On 8/27/2018 at 11:34 AM, peebag said:

How about the studios actually do some research and look at new content\ideas and develop that?

Seems like bnew ideas are few and far between. Everything seems to be a remake. Big Trouble In Little China is up next.

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4 hours ago, Thai Jet said:

Seems like bnew ideas are few and far between. Everything seems to be a remake. Big Trouble In Little China is up next.

I was not aware of this project, but after looking around a bit I found some info. It's apparently not a "remake" (hopefully the idiot Hollywood types have learned their proverbial lesson after Overboard, Point Break, Arthur, Robocop, Judge Dredd, and about four hundred others. Obviously not counting on it, though) but a "sequel." 

“There’s a lot of things going on with [Big Trouble in Little China]. We are in the process of developing that, and let me tell you, the idea is not to actually remake Big Trouble in Little China. You can’t remake a classic like that, so what we’re planning to do is we’re going to continue the story. We’re going to continue the universe of Big Trouble in Little China. Everything that happened in the original exists and is standalone and I think there’s only one person that could ever play Jack Burton, so Dwayne would never try and play that character. So we are just having a lot of fun. We’re actually in a really great space with the story that we’ve cracked. But yeah, no remake. It is a continuation, and we are deep into development on that as well, and I think you’ll start hearing some things about that probably soon.”

Not that any of the pre-release rhetoric matters, but I will check it out if they at least attempt to respect the source material and not sh*t directly in the faces of the people who enjoyed the first movie. 

tumblr_mc3kodsygk1qg39ewo1_500.gif

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6 hours ago, Bombdirt said:

I was not aware of this project, but after looking around a bit I found some info. It's apparently not a "remake" (hopefully the idiot Hollywood types have learned their proverbial lesson after Overboard, Point Break, Arthur, Robocop, Judge Dredd, and about four hundred others. Obviously not counting on it, though) but a "sequel." 

 

Not that any of the pre-release rhetoric matters, but I will check it out if they at least attempt to respect the source material and not sh*t directly in the faces of the people who enjoyed the first movie. 

tumblr_mc3kodsygk1qg39ewo1_500.gif

Thanks so much for the info. It's one of my favorites. I pretty much like every Kurt Russell movie.

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On ‎8‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 6:40 AM, Bombdirt said:

It's apparently not a "remake" (hopefully the idiot Hollywood types have learned their proverbial lesson after Overboard, Point Break, Arthur, Robocop, Judge Dredd, and about four hundred others.

Whaaaaat? The 2012 Dredd film urinated all over the utter, UTTER abortion that was Stallone's abomination, from so on high, the piss had frozen by the time it rained down on it.

Anyone who preferred the 1995 thing probably never read a page of 2000AD or the Megazine in their life.  Stallone should have been f**king shot for that thing.

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39 minutes ago, Panzer Division Marduk said:

Whaaaaat? The 2012 Dredd film urinated all over the utter, UTTER abortion that was Stallone's abomination, from so on high, the piss had frozen by the time it rained down on it.

Anyone who preferred the 1995 thing probably never read a page of 2000AD or the Megazine in their life.  Stallone should have been f**king shot for that thing.

Oh hell yeah the 1995 Dredd movie with Stallone sucked complete ass. I actually watched it again a few months ago and it's still pretty cringeworthy. Almost to the point where it's so bad it's good, kind of like Battlefield Earth

BlondCelebratedFlatfish-size_restricted.

I didn't mean the 2012 Dredd movie was a worse film (it would be pretty hard to be worse than the '95 version), but that it was a recent remake which became a financial failure. Come to think of it, the 2012 film probably tanked commercially simply because the '95 film was so bad. People still had that negative opinion of the first movie and stayed away from the second. 

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1 minute ago, Bombdirt said:

Oh hell yeah the 1995 Dredd movie with Stallone sucked complete ass. I actually watched it again a few months ago and it's still pretty cringeworthy. Almost to the point where it's so bad it's good, kind of like Battlefield Earth

 

I didn't mean the 2012 Dredd movie was a worse film (it would be pretty hard to be worse than the '95 version), but that it was a recent remake which became a financial failure. Come to think of it, the 2012 film probably tanked commercially simply because the '95 film was so bad. People still had that negative opinion of the first movie and stayed away from the second. 

No. Battlefield Earth is a classic "so bad it's good", but 95 Dredd was "so bad it's almost preferable to gouge one's eyeballs out with a rusty spork, and then wash out the mess with caustic soda bad". Basically we're talking any movie involving Madonna-bad.

It's a pity the 2012 Dredd did poor enough to kill any sequels (Dark Judges/Apocalypse War would have been awesome), BUT it has led to an upcoming TV series (supposedly the most expensive series ever produced in the UK), so that has me more than happy. Especially with Urban wanting to carry on as Dredd.

And we get a Rogue Trooper movie too. Yay!

 

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On 8/31/2018 at 12:40 AM, Bombdirt said:

I was not aware of this project, but after looking around a bit I found some info. It's apparently not a "remake" (hopefully the idiot Hollywood types have learned their proverbial lesson after Overboard, Point Break, Arthur, Robocop, Judge Dredd, and about four hundred others. Obviously not counting on it, though) but a "sequel." 

“There’s a lot of things going on with [Big Trouble in Little China]. We are in the process of developing that, and let me tell you, the idea is not to actually remake Big Trouble in Little China. You can’t remake a classic like that, so what we’re planning to do is we’re going to continue the story. We’re going to continue the universe of Big Trouble in Little China. Everything that happened in the original exists and is standalone and I think there’s only one person that could ever play Jack Burton, so Dwayne would never try and play that character. So we are just having a lot of fun. We’re actually in a really great space with the story that we’ve cracked. But yeah, no remake. It is a continuation, and we are deep into development on that as well, and I think you’ll start hearing some things about that probably soon.”

Not that any of the pre-release rhetoric matters, but I will check it out if they at least attempt to respect the source material and not sh*t directly in the faces of the people who enjoyed the first movie. 

tumblr_mc3kodsygk1qg39ewo1_500.gif

Fun facts about Jack Burton: Burton is the idiot sidekick, Wang is the actual lead and hero. Carpenter has confirmed this multiple times. Also, the reason that Russell went so over-the-top with the role is because he viewed Burton as a moron that can't comprehend he is not the hero.

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11 minutes ago, Bombdirt said:

Oh hell yeah the 1995 Dredd movie with Stallone sucked complete ass. I actually watched it again a few months ago and it's still pretty cringeworthy. Almost to the point where it's so bad it's good, kind of like Battlefield Earth

BlondCelebratedFlatfish-size_restricted.

I didn't mean the 2012 Dredd movie was a worse film (it would be pretty hard to be worse than the '95 version), but that it was a recent remake which became a financial failure. Come to think of it, the 2012 film probably tanked commercially simply because the '95 film was so bad. People still had that negative opinion of the first movie and stayed away from the second. 

The 2012 flick bombed because they didn't market it at all. The studios did such a poor job with it that they parceled the distribution rights off to different studios all across the world, which is the precise reason why they haven't been able to make a sequel.

2012 Dredd is a sore subject for me. I think it's the best comic movie ever made and the fact that we can't get a sequel because of legalities blows balls. I still watch it a few times a year and it only gets better with age. I don't think anyone has ever owned a scifi/action role, based from books, like Urban owned Dredd. That entire movie top to bottom was 2000AD straight from the pages.

 

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7 minutes ago, Panzer Division Marduk said:

No. Battlefield Earth is a classic "so bad it's good", but 95 Dredd was "so bad it's almost preferable to gouge one's eyeballs out with a rusty spork, and then wash out the mess with caustic soda bad". Basically we're talking any movie involving Madonna-bad.

This paragraph made me LOL. 

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You guys have got me thinking that I need to go back and watch Dredd again. I know I've caught it on TV before, but for the life of me I can't remember what I thought of it. I've never read the books or anything so I'm not familiar with the canon, but I do like Urban as an actor (he was the only casting choice from the Trek reboots that I was genuinely happy with). 

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24 minutes ago, Panzer Division Marduk said:

No. Battlefield Earth is a classic "so bad it's good", but 95 Dredd was "so bad it's almost preferable to gouge one's eyeballs out with a rusty spork, and then wash out the mess with caustic soda bad". Basically we're talking any movie involving Madonna-bad.

It's a pity the 2012 Dredd did poor enough to kill any sequels (Dark Judges/Apocalypse War would have been awesome), BUT it has led to an upcoming TV series (supposedly the most expensive series ever produced in the UK), so that has me more than happy. Especially with Urban wanting to carry on as Dredd.

And we get a Rogue Trooper movie too. Yay!

 

With Grant Morrison doing the script and Duncan Jones directing too. I have high hopes.

My understanding of the TV series is that it's more about Mega City One with Dredd making an appearance every now and then. Please god let them work Judge Death into the mix.

The lack of 2000AD adaptions has always baffled the hell out of me. I think the characters, premise, and stories put Marvel and DC stuff to shame.

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