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Bowles having a job Monday was as disappointing as...


Integrity28

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Encouraging a drunken monkey and realizing he can't tell the difference between a metaphor and a simile.

 

24 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

Come on, you know as well as I do, this is a great opportunity to see how well the 50-year fans with 3rd grade educations cobble together broken metaphors...

 

19 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

like licking the smudge on your shirt and realizing, that's not chocolate.

 

16 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

like insulting RJF on Monday, and not having Lonelyhearts take a swipe at you by Tuesday?

 

14 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

like when a movie with Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell says it contains nudity, and you watch it only to find out it meant Jason Segal wagging his penis at the camera

 

13 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

like a whofans thread without logical abstraction and the destruction of brain cells?

 

5 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

like calling Nanny.com for childcare, and having @CTM show up

 

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8 minutes ago, Spoot-Face said:

Encouraging a drunken monkey and realizing he can't tell the difference between a metaphor and a simile.

 

Man, I know the difference, but the word metaphor sounded better in the insult. Well done though ;)

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Well, it's almost as disappointing as the time I nearly got arrested while robbing Tiffany's.  Did I ever tell you guys about that?  It happened a long, long time ago before I was even on this message board and it really was the perfect crime.

I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Twenty-five years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier which I later sell on the black market in part to fund the purchase of 8 New York Jets Personal Seat Licenses.

I should have went to Paris.  F you Todd Bowles.

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