Not Mafia 1: The Dungeon of Dread

[Nolder]

You stare down at the unfortunate beast, saddened by the event. The creature puts its hairy arm around your neck and pulls your head close to its mouth. It mumbles strange sounds, but you cannot understand them. A white cloud appears over the baboon's body. You wave it away with your sword and find a plump merchant with a large red nose lying on the ground. The baboon is gone!

 

The merchant whispers,"I thank you for this service. My good wife always said I was ugly as an ape when I was in me cups. I guess she was right."

 

The cloud reappears, and when you fan it away, only the rusty sword and the cup are left lying of the ground. There is no trace of the baboon or the man. You quickly leave the room and hurry down the corridor on the other side of the room.  You pass the corridor on your left. As you peer into it, you see a strange green light.

[Nolder]

The corridor is empty. It runs straight for over a hundred paces, then divides. One path goes right, the other to the left. While you and Spoot are trying to decide which way to go, a hobgoblin comes down the right hand corridor. Its yellow eyes shift from side to side. It sees you, and lets forth a tremendous roar, then starts running toward you. All of the tall creature is intent on tearing you and Spoot limb from limb.

[Nolder]

DO YOU WISH TO...

1) FIGHT THE HOBGOBLIN

2) RUN DOWN THE CORRIDOR, TO THE LEFT

[Spoot-Face]

2 hours ago, Nolder said:

"Can you understand him, Spoot? I can't make out what it's saying."

"Nope, it's all nonsense to me," says the halfling.

Yep. Pretty much how we all feel when we play Mafia with Ape.

[Spoot-Face]

2 hours ago, Nolder said:

DO YOU WISH TO...

1) FIGHT THE HOBGOBLIN

2) RUN DOWN THE CORRIDOR, TO THE LEFT

Zoinks! Me cowardly brain thinks we should run, unless, @CTM, you think you and all your 5'9 150 Ib twinkish frame can take on the brute!

[CTM]

15 minutes ago, Spoot-Face said:

Zoinks! Me cowardly brain thinks we should run, unless, @CTM, you think you and all your 5'9 150 Ib twinkish frame can take on the brute!

I dunno, I assumed slaying the ape meant we won.

The ape is dead and there is joy in nerdville

[CTM]

Lets run though 

[Nolder]

Got it

[Nolder]

Oh sh*t this next one looks intense it's several pages with three choices at the end.

I'm going to start now but it might take awhile to type up so I might not finish until late tonight or tomorrow.

Or maybe I'll just power through it right now, we'll see.

[Nolder]

As you enter the corridor, you hear the sound of grinding stone, and see some dust fall from the ceiling.

 

"Something's wrong," you whisper to the halfling. "Let's get out of here."

 

You turn around and start retracing your footsteps. However, before you have gone two paces, a tremendous roar knocks you off your feet, and the passage before you collapses. When the dust settles, you see the corridor is completely blocked with large boulders, heavy timbers, and dirt.

 

"It's impossible," you say. "We'll never dig out without tools. We can only go forward."

 

Reluctantly the two of you stagger to your feet, turn around, and walk down the corridor, alert for danger at every step. The corridor ends in a room. A feeling of menace hangs heavy in the air. But what you see seems harmless enough. The room is approximately twenty feet square and dimly lit. The ceiling and walls are rough, with stalactites hanging from the ceiling. The floor is smooth. A stone well, about three feet tall, stands in the middle of the room. The well is covered with mysterious carvings of ugly faces. Sword in hand, you approach the well carefully.

 

"Don't do that! Get away!" screams the halfling.

 

You stare at Spoot in shock.

 

"There's something horrible in there," Spoot says, trembling, "But I can't remember it clearly. Kalman picked me up by my feet and dangled me over the pool. He thought it was funny. I didn't think it was so funny."

"What kind of monster is it?" you ask.

"I don't know," he answer, "I never saw anything like it before."
 

[Nolder]

Sneaking carefully up to the well, you glance in quickly and discover it contains only a shallow pool of water. All of your instincts scream DANGER! Everything in you says "leave now!" But you do not. You can't go back the way you came, and you've come too far to let mysterious carvings around a pool of water frighten you. You look in again and see that the water is crystal clear. You see a bright gold key on the bottom of the pool. The tip of the key is fashioned like a cross with diamonds on each end. Colored gems decorate each corner. The key must be valuable, and open the lock to something of great importance.

 

"Look, Spoot, look!" you call, but the halfling buries his head in his hands and does not respond.

 

If they key is important, why would it be left lying around in a pool of harmless water? Perhaps the water is not harmless. You could reach in and see what happens. But if a monster does lurk in there, as Spoot believes, that would not be a good idea.

 

Looking about the room, you see several things you did not notice at first glance. There are two doorways, one to your left and one to your right. Both are dark; you cannot see beyond them. Bones lie scattered on the floor.

 

"Spoot, bring me one of those big bones."

 

The halfling slowly drags a three foot long bone to you. Picking the bone up, you probe the bottom of the pool gingerly, trying to snag the key. Suddenly the bone is wrenched from your hand with great violence. The water erupts from the pool. A watery cobra-like head rises out of the pool. It surges at you with it's mouth open. You jump back quickly. Once you are out of striking range, the watery creature sinks back into the pool.

 

"See! See! I told you. But no! You wouldn't believe me!" cries the halfling. "We've got to get out of here before it eats us!"

"Calm down," you say, "It can't get us as long as we stay here. It's a water weird, a snake made out of water. It can't leave the pool. I've heard them mentioned in old tales, but I thought they were never real."

"It looks real enough to me," says the halfling, his teeth chattering.

 

You are silent as you try to remember all you have heard of water weirds. You know they will attack any living thing. It drags any creature it strikes into the pool to drown it. Weapons rarely hurt the monster.

[Nolder]

DO YOU WISH TO...

1) LEAVE THROUGH THE DOORWAY ON THE LEFT. YOU NOTICE A COOL BREEZE BLOWING FROM THIS DOORWAY.

2) LEAVE THROUGH THE DOORWAY ON THE RIGHT.

3) STAY AND TRY TO GET THE MYSTERIOUS KEY.

[Nolder]

For illustrations sake, look at the cover. That is the Water Weird.

[Spoot-Face]

I say leave the key, too dangerous methinks. And the doorway on the left seems suspect, as if it's tempting us into a false sense of security with the cool breeze.

I say leave through the doorway on the right.

[Spoot-Face]

And I think the key is an obvious trap/lure, anyway.

[Nolder]

I looked ahead to see where each of these choices went.

I'm not going to say anything but I am going to grab some popcorn.

It's getting good, ya'll are deep in the dungeon now.

[Nolder]

[Spoot-Face]

4 minutes ago, Nolder said:

It's getting good, ya'll are deep in the basement now.

ftfy

[Nolder]

Spoot, cowardly halfling, has been modkilled.

[Spoot-Face]

lol

[CTM]

15 hours ago, Spoot-Face said:

I say leave the key, too dangerous methinks. And the doorway on the left seems suspect, as if it's tempting us into a false sense of security with the cool breeze.

I say leave through the doorway on the right.

 

15 hours ago, Spoot-Face said:

And I think the key is an obvious trap/lure, anyway.

My temptation is to try and figure out how to get the key but willing to go to the right door

[Spoot-Face]

31 minutes ago, CTM said:

 

My temptation is to try and figure out how to get the key but willing to go to the right door

Flip a coin, then? We can have @Nolder flip a coin for us (or use an internet widget) and tell us who wins. You win, we stay to get the key, I win we go right door?

You call heads/tails.

[CTM]

4 minutes ago, Spoot-Face said:

Flip a coin, then? We can have @Nolder flip a coin for us (or use an internet widget) and tell us who wins. You win, we stay to get the key, I win we go right door?

You call heads/tails.

Tails never fails 

[Spoot-Face]

Now we wait for Nolder.

^^Notice how Patrick technically lives in a basement.

[Nolder]

2 hours ago, Spoot-Face said:

Flip a coin, then? We can have @Nolder flip a coin for us (or use an internet widget) and tell us who wins. You win, we stay to get the key, I win we go right door?

You call heads/tails.

 

1 hour ago, CTM said:

Tails never fails 

 

I'm having random.org flip my personal favorite flipping coin, a 50 cent piece.

And the result is...

 

Spoiler

 

[Nolder]

You lean against the far wall and try to figure out what to do next.

 

"Should we try to leave?" asks the halfling.

"Calm down, Spoot. Let's think for a minute. This key is of great value; otherwise it wouldn't be so well protected. There must be some way of retrieving it. It might be possible to distract the creature."

 

You creep up to the pool, carrying a large rock and a rib bone with you.

Peering over the edge, you see the key lying in the calm pool.

 

The halfling covers his eyes. "I can't look," he says "Tell me what happens."

 

You heave the rock into the opposite side of the pool, and the water weird lashes out, flailing the water into a furious froth. You quickly plunge the curved bone into the water and drag it across the bottom of the pool, trying to catch the key. As you drag the bone across the pool, you feel a powerful jerk and the water weird pulls it from your grasp. The water weird sways above the surface of the pool, hissing. Finally, it submerges.

 

The halfling peers through the slits of fingers, "Are you still alive?" he asks.

"Of course I am," you snap. You are shaken, but unhurt.

 

You are puzzled because the bone touched nothing solid in the pool! How can you see a key that is not there? If the key is not there, where is it? You search the rough ceiling and see a glimmer. Moving to the far corner of the room, you see a gleam of gold and a flash of green, but you can't be sure what you see is the key. Moving to the middle of the room, you can at last see that the mysterious key is attached to the ceiling by two thin wires.

 

"I know where it is," you say, "but how do I get it?"

An idea forms in your mind. Perhaps you can use your sword to pry the key from the ceiling. But you must catch it before it falls into the pool, or it will be lost forever.

"Spoot, come here." you say, "I need help."

 

The halfling steps forward, trembling, but ready.

 

"Get ready to catch the key," you say.

 

You take off your cloak and hold it in your left hand. You hold your sword in the other.  With a swift movement, you flip your cape over the surface of the well and sweep your sword upwards...SNAP! You pry the key from the ceiling. It falls and lands on the cloak. Quickly you flick your sword forward and, catch the broad surface of the key, flip it away from the pool! It tumbles through the air and Spoot leaps forward to catch it. He opens his hands and there you see the key. The water weird hisses in frustration and snaps at your cloak. You jerk your cloak from the water weird's grasp, and step back. Spoot proudly hands the key to you, and you study it's incredible beauty. It lies heavy in your hand, sparkling with gold and jewels. You study the key for several minutes longer, then slip it into your pouch and tighten the strings.

 

Glancing at the well one last time, you turn to continue your adventure. A cool breeze blows down the corridor on the left, and you can see that this corridor runs uphill. You cannot see or hear anything in the right hand corridor.

[Nolder]

DO YOU WISH TO...

1) ENTER THE LEFT HAND CORRIDOR

2) ENTER THE RIGHT HAND CORRIDOR

[Spoot-Face]

Good call on the key, @CTM.

Now, the left corridor would seem to lead up to the surface, and I'm betting the right one leads further into the cave/mountain, and the latter will be, imo, where the treasure is -- or more danger.

Still, I vote we go right.

[CTM]

8 minutes ago, Spoot-Face said:

Good call on the key, @CTM.

Now, the left corridor would seem to lead up to the surface, and I'm betting the right one leads further into the cave/mountain, and the latter will be, imo, where the treasure is -- or more danger.

Still, I vote we go right.

Let's go right 

[Spoot-Face]

@Nolder

Right it is.

[Nolder]

Got it but I'm going for dinner so it'll have to wait a couple hours.

[Nolder]

As you leave the water weird and walk down this corridor, you hear a dull booming noise.

 

"What's that noise, CTM?" asks the halfling, clinging to your arm.

"I don't know," you answer.

 

As you advance, a sandy corridor opens to your left. You would like to follow this corridor and avoid the booming noise, but your curiosity draws you down the corridor. Moving slowly and cautiously, you ease your way to the edge of a cave where the noise seems to come from. Near the entrance, an enormous wooden beam rises to the ceiling. Another beam lies across the top of the first, supporting the entire weight of the cavern ceiling.

 

You peer around the beam and into the room. An eleven foot tall hill giant squats on a boulder, holding an enormous rock in its huge hands. It is pounding the rock to pieces and often stops to pick small gleaming objects out of the gravel, carefully placing them in a dirty leather pouch at its feet.

 

"Please, CTM," says Spoot, "I think I'd like to leave this giant alone!"

 

You agree, you certainly do not want this horrible creature after you.

Fighting it would be foolish. But you might be able to ambush it.

[Nolder]

DO YOU WISH TO...

1) TRY TO AMBUSH THE HILL GIANT

2) RETREAT AND TRY THE SANDY PASSAGEWAY

[Spoot-Face]

I vote we run away like little bitches. I'd rather not have a giant try to use me as a tampon.

[CTM]

13 hours ago, Spoot-Face said:

I vote we run away like little bitches. I'd rather not have a giant try to use me as a tampon.

As much af I'd like to impale a giants anus with your diminutive body, I concur. Run