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T#3 C7ust3rFvck @ G@ta R!dg3 - gam3 s#0w


CTM

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It was late in the evening, the village was in a heated debate over who should go. Should it be Jif, the self proclaimed batman. His never ending games of grab ass and complete inability to perform manual labor had made him expendable, a liability in times of limited resources. Still, he was a good ho. The finest in chimps stable.

 Debate was heated.

 

Jif was offended, being a first class primadonna and well aware of his value in the incestuous village sexual marketplace, he wasn't used to getting anything but the finest the group had to offer. It was then that he decided to to take matters into his own hands. He was the batman. He would flutter away to grener pastures.

 

With that he took off towards the ridge, running like a gazelle and picking up speed with each graceful step. The villagers were in awe. Beautiful. Amazing. But what the hell is he thinking?

 

He approached to the ledge at maximum speed and leapt off.

 

A single tear dripped slowly down Chimps furry face at the pending demise of his favorite girl

 

Maybe it was his hollow bones or "skinny fat" frame, known clinically as metabolically obese, that created a low weight to surface area ratio

..Perhaps it was his long nose, sloped forehead and tiny feet that created an aerodynamic shape to pierce through the air.

..Possibly, it was his limp wristed flapping style that maximized down thrust and lift.

..Conceivably, it could've been the adrenaline, fueled by butt hurt, that propelled him.

Mostly it was the fact that an unseasonably warm day had heated the dry air at the bottom of the ridge from where Jif took off and created a strong updraft known as a thermal.

 

Either way, fly, fly he did. I was such a sight, never witnessed before or since and moving with enough speed that he quickly vanished out of the villagers view.

They were awestruck.

 

With a feeling of great accomplishment and satisfaction jif flapped away until the adrenaline begin to wane. It was only now that his considerable physical limitations became apparent and the precariousness of his situation had occurred to him.

Perhaps this wasn’t his best idea after all.

As he was no longer able to flap with enough speed or force to maintain altitude,  he quickly plummeted to the ground, landed with a small poof and died instantly.

 

Selfish to the end, his emaciated frame offered only a meager meal for scavengers.

 

Jif, town ho, vanilla townie had fluttered away

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37 minutes ago, Beaver said:

bored GIF

 

34 minutes ago, Nolder said:

Relax he's gotta run the information through Gatabot, it's gonna take awhile.

 

16 minutes ago, Pac said:

worst.mod.ever

 

15 minutes ago, Stark said:

CTM ruins everything 

 

10 minutes ago, jvill 51 said:

Cut the guy a break, the Gatabot is obviously on the fritz

 

 

12 minutes ago, Beaver said:

Someone upload more ram in the gatabot.   I feel like an abacus would be faster.

 

 

 

 

haha. sorry all. Dealing with work sh*t tonight and got pulled away for a bit! 

My bad

but rule #14

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Here’s the thing about being town and making stuff up and lying when you case another townie. You get yourself lynched, then the other townie, then everyone that called you on the lies. If you’re town and casing , stick to observations and logic. Jif went for narratives and spin... and it’s going to be a mess now. 

I should’ve resisted the urge to keep calling him on the lies. Honest truth, he convinced me 200% he was scum. I don’t mind being wrong if I got there by advocating for the truth. I also cannot believe I made Jif go emo. Worth being wrong just for that!

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3 minutes ago, CTM said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

haha. sorry all. Dealing with work sh*t tonight and got pulled away for a bit! 

My bad

but rule #14

Was just messing around, you’re doing a great job. Can’t believe all those idiots giving you crap about dropping hints before. Also, safe to assume everyone you just quoted is town right?

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Just now, kdels62 said:

Posting a list going into night. Seems like something Barry would do. 

I was hoping you were going to argue the names on the list.  I've posted my tiers going into night for years..  I usually go back and quote them when I'm inevitably proven correct.

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23 minutes ago, CTM said:

It was late in the evening, the village was in a heated debate over who should go. Should it be Jif, the self proclaimed batman. His never ending games of grab ass and complete inability to perform manual labor had made him expendable, a liability in times of limited resources. Still, he was a good ho. The finest in chimps stable.

 Debate was heated.

 

Jif was offended, being a first class primadonna and well aware of his value in the incestuous village sexual marketplace, he wasn't used to getting anything but the finest the group had to offer. It was then that he decided to to take matters into his own hands. He was the batman. He would flutter away to grener pastures.

 

With that he took off towards the ridge, running like a gazelle and picking up speed with each graceful step. The villagers were in awe. Beautiful. Amazing. But what the hell is he thinking?

 

He approached to the ledge at maximum speed and leapt off.

 

A single tear dripped slowly down Chimps furry face at the pending demise of his favorite girl

 

Maybe it was his hollow bones or "skinny fat" frame, known clinically as metabolically obese, that created a low weight to surface area ratio

..Perhaps it was his long nose, sloped forehead and tiny feet that created an aerodynamic shape to pierce through the air.

..Possibly, it was his limp wristed flapping style that maximized down thrust and lift.

..Conceivably, it could've been the adrenaline, fueled by butt hurt, that propelled him.

Mostly it was the fact that an unseasonably warm day had heated the dry air at the bottom of the ridge from where Jif took off and created a strong updraft known as a thermal.

 

Either way, fly, fly he did. I was such a sight, never witnessed before or since and moving with enough speed that he quickly vanished out of the villagers view.

They were awestruck.

 

With a feeling of great accomplishment and satisfaction jif flapped away until the adrenaline begin to wane. It was only now that his considerable physical limitations became apparent and the precariousness of his situation had occurred to him.

Perhaps this wasn’t his best idea after all.

As he was no longer able to flap with enough speed or force to maintain altitude,  he quickly plummeted to the ground, landed with a small poof and died instantly.

 

Selfish to the end, his emaciated frame offered only a meager meal for scavengers.

 

Jif, town ho, vanilla townie had fluttered away

I want my money back.

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6 minutes ago, Pac said:

I was hoping you were going to argue the names on the list.  I've posted my tiers going into night for years..  I usually go back and quote them when I'm inevitably proven correct.

Also your list is consistent with your assumptions and statements before JiF got lynched. So that part isn’t gross at all

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1 minute ago, jvill 51 said:

Is that an actual thing? Because if it is I quit.

 

Just now, Pac said:

it's really not..  and the post you quoted is gross.

Eh, it’s happened where mod has reveal someone town, then plunked is and told us scum. I’m trying to figure out wtf just happened though. Seems the emo was real.

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