Jets 2021 predicted by Witchcraft (aka Menstrual Powers)

[Paradis]

Ok, say I guess most of you are too cool for school.  Fiiiiine

I'm going to do the following:

• Sam Darnold
• Joe Thuney
• David Njoku
• Richard Sherman

Draft wise (sorry but i can't bring myself to do Pitts)

• Kardarius Toney
• Fields
• Sewell
• (bonus round) Devonta Smith

 

If by the hand zeus, these answers become reality - no one is ever allowed to talk me again. 

[joewilly12]

[#27TheDominator]

So, I just asked my wife if the Jets were getting Deshaun Watson.  Her response was "How the frick would I know?   What's wrong with you?"

[Paradis]

23 minutes ago, #27TheDominator said:

So, I just asked my wife if the Jets were getting Deshaun Watson.  Her response was "How the frick would I know?   What's wrong with you?"

 

[joewilly12]

[Jet_Engine1]

23 hours ago, Paradis said:

So as some of you are aware, in addition to wearing pink footwear, I'm married to a cat eating witch.... she sh*ts out potions and steals bats etc. She also does the wiccan pendulum thing that has.. i don't know else to put it, is always right. t's been borderline weird at times (10/10 baby genders), jobs, affairs, etc. 

I shouldn't have crossed the Streams, and brought the Jets into this, but i wear pink things. So... there you go

Here's the scoop as it related to the Jets: 

• September, Wil Bell make it the rest of the year w/ Jets.... NO
• October, Will someone get fired before end of the year.... YES
• November, Will Trevor Lawrence be a NY Jet.... NO
• January, Will Rob Saleh be the next Jets Coach... YES
• Today... Will Deshaun Watson be Jet.... NO

So clearly the last one needs to play out - but lets really put her estrogen fueled powers to the test.

I need (I don't want to chose them - I want popular JN picks)

• 3 Free Agents
• 3 players in the draft

 

Yes i know this sounds like a completely stupid waste of time.. but... it adds up. Let me tell you.. Lets find out if we can skip the whole arguing thing moving forward and just rely on some crystal sh*t... 

 

I, and more importantly,  Luke the Cat, do not approve of Cat eating.

 

The rest seems legit.  

[Paradis]

UPDATE #1 

This one deserves its own post.

Q: Will Sam Darnold be a New York Jet this upcoming season. 

Answer: STRONG YES

there you have it. He’ll be here. 

[Drums]

1 minute ago, Paradis said:

UPDATE #1 

This one deserves its own post.

Q: Will Sam Darnold be a New York Jet this upcoming season. 

Answer: STRONG YES

there you have it. He’ll be here. 

Does she answer right away? Or does she “consult” higher powers?

[joewilly12]

3 minutes ago, Paradis said:

UPDATE #1 

This one deserves its own post.

Q: Will Sam Darnold be a New York Jet this upcoming season. 

Answer: STRONG YES

there you have it. He’ll be here. 

[Joe Willie White Shoes]

On 1/28/2021 at 9:26 PM, Paradis said:

So as some of you are aware, in addition to wearing pink footwear, I'm married to a cat eating witch.... she sh*ts out potions and steals bats etc. She also does the wiccan pendulum thing that has.. i don't know else to put it, is always right. t's been borderline weird at times (10/10 baby genders), jobs, affairs, etc. 

I shouldn't have crossed the Streams, and brought the Jets into this, but i wear pink things. So... there you go

Here's the scoop as it related to the Jets: 

• September, Wil Bell make it the rest of the year w/ Jets.... NO
• October, Will someone get fired before end of the year.... YES
• November, Will Trevor Lawrence be a NY Jet.... NO
• January, Will Rob Saleh be the next Jets Coach... YES
• Today... Will Deshaun Watson be Jet.... NO

So clearly the last one needs to play out - but lets really put her estrogen fueled powers to the test.

I need (I don't want to chose them - I want popular JN picks)

• 3 Free Agents
• 3 players in the draft

 

Yes i know this sounds like a completely stupid waste of time.. but... it adds up. Let me tell you.. Lets find out if we can skip the whole arguing thing moving forward and just rely on some crystal sh*t... 

 

If these "powers" are true, why aren't you fithy rich?  Ask her which team will win every NFL game and rake in the  betting money.  Take her to the track.  Play the lottery.  Why are you wasting this on baby genders?  I call BS.

[Paradis]

15 minutes ago, Joe Willie White Shoes said:

If these "powers" are true, why aren't you fithy rich?  Ask her which team will win every NFL game and rake in the  betting money.  Take her to the track.  Play the lottery.  Why are you wasting this on baby genders?  I call BS.

Busted. You got me. I invented a story about my wife’s witch powers and put it on a football forum because I thought it would make me look cool.

[Warfish]

[Lith]

2 hours ago, Paradis said:

UPDATE #1 

This one deserves its own post.

Q: Will Sam Darnold be a New York Jet this upcoming season. 

Answer: STRONG YES

 

there you have it. He’ll be here. 

Not sure how I could possibly have missed this thread for the last two days.  This is awesome. 

At least it was until this post.  I am genuinely disappointed.  Never mind that Mogglez and Football Guy have been hearing from their contacts that Darnold will be back.  Now that the spirits have spoken through Mrs P, it is done.  May as well get behind Sam.  

[fullblast]

You tried to warn us about Lawrence's fate... I didn't listen. I should have.

[fullblast]

Can you throw Allen Robinson into the mix? I NEED TO KNOW

[FidelioJet]

What about Zach Wilson?

Add him to the list please.

 

[Lith]

39 minutes ago, fullblast said:

Can you throw Allen Robinson into the mix? I NEED TO KNOW

Don't need Mrs P for this one.  Without Deshaun Watson, its not happening.

[32EBoozer]

53 minutes ago, Lith said:

Not sure how I could possibly have missed this thread for the last two days.  This is awesome. 

At least it was until this post.  I am genuinely disappointed.  Never mind that Mogglez and Football Guy have been hearing from their contacts that Darnold will be back.  Now that the spirits have spoken through Mrs P, it is done.  May as well get behind Sam.  

JD to the entire 1 Jets Drive staff and locker room personnel. JD probably tired of reading leaks on JN. False info such as we’re going with Sam spread to certain folks to narrow down the source. I wouldn’t be surprised to see @Mogglez & @football guy sources clam up. Their livelihoods are on the line and this is an extremely important year for this organization 

[Paradis]

1 hour ago, Lith said:

Not sure how I could possibly have missed this thread for the last two days.  This is awesome. 

At least it was until this post.  I am genuinely disappointed.  Never mind that Mogglez and Football Guy have been hearing from their contacts that Darnold will be back.  Now that the spirits have spoken through Mrs P, it is done.  May as well get behind Sam.  

There’s a version (albeit in a galaxy far away) of the future that maybe, just maybe Sam has Tannehill turn around. Or at least enough to man the ship while they stabilize the roster. 

part of me still thinks they haven’t shown their hand yet - whatever that is. 

[Paradis]

UPDATE #2 ....not luck on free agents

Richard Sherman — No...a weak one. 

Joe Thuney — No. 

David Njoku — No. 

[Lith]

13 minutes ago, Paradis said:

UPDATE #2 ....not luck on free agents

Richard Sherman — No...a weak one. 

Joe Thuney — No. 

David Njoku — No. 

I think she missed this one.  Sherman will be a Jet.

[Lith]

19 minutes ago, Paradis said:

There’s a version (albeit in a galaxy far away) of the future that maybe, just maybe Sam has Tannehill turn around. Or at least enough to man the ship while they stabilize the roster. 

part of me still thinks they haven’t shown their hand yet - whatever that is. 

Obviously it is the Tannehill type turnaround that we will all be rooting for if Darnold is still starting next season.  But Tannehill's bad seasons under Gase were way better than Darnold's.  And putting weapons & the OL aside, when I watched Sam this season, and tried to evaluate the things that are in his control, it was bad.  

To be honest, I don't think they have shown their hand, because I doubt they have decided yet. I think Watson is a pipe dream and is not going to happen, but have no idea what they really thinkd of Darnold and the QBs who will be availablle at 2.  Will be interesting to see how things play out over the next three months.

[Mo Lew]

What about Devonta...he’s the only way I’m good with Sam

[Paradis]

1 hour ago, Lith said:

I think she missed this one.  Sherman will be a Jet.

“Are you sure?”.... were my words. 

1 hour ago, Lith said:

 

To be honest, I don't think they have shown their hand, because I doubt they have decided yet. I think Watson is a pipe dream and is not going to happen, but have no idea what they really thinkd of Darnold and the QBs who will be availablle at 2.  Will be interesting to see how things play out over the next three months.

Agree. That hand may surprise with a full house, or maybe they fold with Darnold. They’re still drawing cards.... 

The best swing I’ve been able to take on articulating my thoughts was today in another thread—

i’m looking at this next 16 months as one long off-season. January 2021 to draft day in April 2022. This roster is in such poor shape, that this next upcoming season is really just one long training camp. So I’m not fixated on drafting a quarterback at #2. I’m not ruling it out but it’s not a decision I feel forcing my hand. If they believe in fields,  OK. If it’s Mac Jones in a trade back, great. If it’s riding Darnold through the storm this fall, sure. Maybe we see to the quarterback situation next January through April. 

[Lith]

5 minutes ago, Paradis said:

“Are you sure?”.... were my words. 

Agree. That hand may surprise with a full house, or maybe they fold with Darnold. They’re still drawing cards.... 

The best swing I’ve been able to take on articulating my thoughts was today in another thread—

i’m looking at this next 16 months as one long off-season. January 2021 to draft day in April 2022. This roster is in such poor shape, that this next upcoming season is really just one long training camp. So I’m not fixated on drafting a quarterback at #2. I’m not ruling it out but it’s not a decision I feel forcing my hand. If they believe in fields,  OK. If it’s Mac Jones in a trade back, great. If it’s riding Darnold through the storm this fall, sure. Maybe we see to the quarterback situation next January through April. 

Sorry, but I can't be as patient as you. 

After 10 years, I want to see some good football in 2021.  Not saying we need to be a playoff team, but I want to see an exciting team that can put up some points and play meaningful football into December.  I don't care it it is Darnod or Watson, or Fields or Wilson or someone else.  I want to have fun watching the Jets in 21.  This past season, when they only pleasure we took out of the team was when they lost, was brutal to get through.

[Paradis]

31 minutes ago, Lith said:

Sorry, but I can't be as patient as you. 

After 10 years, I want to see some good football in 2021.  Not saying we need to be a playoff team, but I want to see an exciting team that can put up some points and play meaningful football into December.  I don't care it it is Darnod or Watson, or Fields or Wilson or someone else.  I want to have fun watching the Jets in 21.  This past season, when they only pleasure we took out of the team was when they lost, was brutal to get through.

I feel you. Respectable position ask of the team. I think the Jets can be fun and still be “building” for the future. This is all under assumption that Sam is salvageable in some capacity. Would be major egg on JD’s face to pass on bringing in another QB and Sam continue to look like trash 

[Jimmy 2 Times]

On 1/28/2021 at 11:53 PM, Paradis said:

Hah. Tempting but I witnessed my friend in college say he’d sell his soul to have a paper due date extended - we walked into class 5 minutes later and the prof said he’s extending the due date... I watched the colour drain from his face in that moment and swore I would never do that haha 

Did the professor make eye contact with your friend and smile?

[Fantasy Island]

On 1/29/2021 at 6:24 AM, static14 said:

Did the Heaven’s Gate people get on that spaceship? 

Nope, they are waiting at the shoe store for the new Nikes.

[Paradis]

Update #3...

OK... This one is a little freaky. I need you all to know, the wife doesn't know who these ppl are. She's not much for football beyond the base surface level who's who... so I don't want any accusations of priming her.

Round 3:

• Kadarius Toney.... NO
• Josh Myers... NO
• Alex Leatherwood... NO
• Justin Fields.... YES

So... lol. There you go. 

[Mo Lew]

3 minutes ago, Paradis said:

Update #3...

OK... This one is a little freaky. I need you all to know, the wife doesn't know who these ppl are. She's not much for football beyond the base surface level who's who... so I don't want any accusations of priming her.

Round 3:

• Kadarius Toney.... NO
• Josh Myers... NO
• Alex Leatherwood... NO
• Justin Fields.... YES

So... lol. There you go. 

Ughhhhh worst outcome to me. So it will probably happen. 

[Stark]

On 1/30/2021 at 3:42 PM, Paradis said:

UPDATE #1 

This one deserves its own post.

Q: Will Sam Darnold be a New York Jet this upcoming season. 

Answer: STRONG YES

there you have it. He’ll be here. 

Lol ok. 

On 1/30/2021 at 5:51 PM, fullblast said:

Can you throw Allen Robinson into the mix? I NEED TO KNOW

 

On 1/30/2021 at 6:32 PM, Lith said:

Don't need Mrs P for this one.  Without Deshaun Watson, its not happening.

Lith has powers. And I agree no Watson no way do we get A Robinson 

3 minutes ago, Paradis said:

Update #3...

OK... This one is a little freaky. I need you all to know, the wife doesn't know who these ppl are. She's not much for football beyond the base surface level who's who... so I don't want any accusations of priming her.

Round 3:

• Kadarius Toney.... NO
• Josh Myers... NO
• Alex Leatherwood... NO
• Justin Fields.... YES

So... lol. There you go. 

Seriously can you just ask her if Hurd will ever be. JET

[Drums]

On 1/30/2021 at 3:42 PM, Paradis said:

UPDATE #1 

This one deserves its own post.

Q: Will Sam Darnold be a New York Jet this upcoming season. 

Answer: STRONG YES

there you have it. He’ll be here. 

[Vudu]

I too own a pendulum— and a bunch of crystals. I’ll consult my pendulum to see if it’ll dowse the correct answers for me

[joewilly12]

On 1/30/2021 at 4:42 PM, Paradis said:

UPDATE #1 

This one deserves its own post.

Q: Will Sam Darnold be a New York Jet this upcoming season. 

Answer: STRONG YES

there you have it. He’ll be here. 

[Beerfish]