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A Guy walks into a bar an orders a shot of scotch - says its a celebration... After downing the shot the bartender asks hey what are you celebrating. The guy replies my firts bl....w job. The bartender says hey that is a celebration let me get you a shot on the house - The guy replies "no thanks if that first one doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will!!!"

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A Guy walks into a bar an orders a shot of scotch - says its a celebration... After downing the shot the bartender asks hey what are you celebrating. The guy replies my firts bl....w job. The bartender says hey that is a celebration let me get you a shot on the house - The guy replies "no thanks if that first one doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will!!!"

wait...wait...wait...and you joke about MY joke getting ME banned!!!! #-o=D>=D>=D>

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being a mailman myself, I can only hope this is how MY last day will go...

After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!

When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

'All of this was just too wonderful for words', he said; 'But what's the dollar for'?

'Well', she said, 'last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said; 'Screw him. Give him a dollar'. 'The breakfast was my idea!!'

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a wife is pestering her husband for $20.00 to go by some meats at the butcher.. After a while the man takes his wife to the hall way up to a full length mirror - he pulls out a $20.00 bill - He puts the bill up to the mirror and says you see this - is mine pointting to the $20.00 bill in his hand - he says you see that pointing to the $20.00 image in teh mirror - that belongs to you...

The next day the man comes home from work and his freezer is filled with fresh meats.. He asks his wife how the hell did you get a freezer full of meat with out any money...

The wife takes her husbad to the same full length mirror and she lifts up her house dress - she points to the mirror and says you see this referencing the image in the mirror that one is yours then turns away from the mirror and points down to below her waist and says this one belongs to the butcher

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