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Advice? My 16 year old stepson wants to try weed...


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My folks never touched a drug in their life, raised 3 surfers who smoke weed every day since high school.  They never understood it.  Legit, couldnt figure out how 2 people who never touched anything

Be proud he told you and that he hasnt smoked weed yet seems like the best answer. I was smoking by 14, wouldnt dare tell my parents.  Seems like a good kid, let him get high.  He's going to

It's like the gubment war on drugs.. policy failure to try and clamp down. Costs are too high, in your case communication and trust, and efficacy is low.. kid may be more compelled to to try it, but n

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Like I already said I wouldn’t allow him to smoke but you might have an even worse problem with him watching all that porn. It’s totally normal for him to do and I’m not saying he can’t masturbate but pornography has some really bad effects especially for kids. You should do your own research on it and maybe talk to him about laying off of it. 

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I’m a medical cannabis patient in my 40’s. I used to use it recreationally in my early 20’s. Since I began medical cannabis I also stopped drinking alcohol entirely. This journey began about 2 years ago and here’s what’s happened so far:

My blood pressure went from about 170/100 unmanaged to now not taking any bp meds at all with a daily avg of about 110/70.

I have 3 fused discs in my neck. I was damn near addicted to the percocets I used to take. I stopped those thankfully before medical cannabis, but I was taking 9-12 Advil a day to manage pain. I haven’t had an Advil in over a year now.

I used to take Xanax for anxiety as needed. I’d go through 30 1mg pills in about 2 months. I haven’t taken one in over a year and a half, nor had a single panic attack in that time.

As great as all those benefits are, the best is that I’m so much more capable of controlling my anger. I’m able to collect my thoughts and talk through them. My relationship with my wife and my kids has never been better in all regards.

I do tend to space on little things and I find it a bit harder to keep myself organized, but at the same time I find I work far more focused on things.

All that said, I would not openly condone my child using it because I don’t believe young teens have the mental wherewithal to differentiate medical need vs just getting high. If you use cannabis to get ****ed up, you’re gonna get ****ed up.


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On 4/12/2021 at 9:54 PM, HighPitch said:

My wife just told me he told her he was going to buy a vape pen. He said he wasnt asking for permission, just informing.

Hes pretty much a good kid. A lil dopey and absent minded but whatever. His grades used to be excellent now they are Cs and Bs and maybe 1 D.

So any of you guys have any advice? I dont need the peanut gallery to chime in....

my reaction? Again I told her she is way too soft on him And looking for no conflict. If he was my blood, his crap would be in the street.

My wife is like “what can i do?” And I immediately belted out: cancel his gym membership, cancel his cell service, no talk about ever getting a car etc etc oh yea and tell his dad so his dad can f him up

Advice?

 

 

I've just remarried and inherited teenage girls.  Here's my take.

He's 16 he can do whatever he wants to do.  He's telling he's mother is a form of passive aggression.  He knows it's a dumb move and he's telling her I'm stupid and you can't do anything about it.  It could be perfectly normal for a 16 year old to do this since it's part of seperating from the nest and with a few exceptions, most 16 year old boys are stupid.  It could aslo be a symptom of some deeper dysfunction between him and his parents. 

It's between his mother and father.  Stay out of it and be a good role model through your actions and relationship with his mother.  

You're really not the problem or the solution.  He didn't ask you so you really should stay out of it.    While I agree your wife sounds like she has lost complete control, you're not in a position to change that relationship.  Your instinct to punish him coupled with her instinct to pamper him might get him to confess to murder but probably won't stop him from smoking pot or looking at porn.  

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11 minutes ago, Biggs said:

 

I've just remarried and inherited teenage girls.  Here's my take.

He's 16 he can do whatever he wants to do.  He's telling he's mother is a form of passive aggression.  He knows it's a dumb move and he's telling her I'm stupid and you can't do anything about it.  It could be perfectly normal for a 16 year old to do this since it's part of seperating from the nest and with a few exceptions, most 16 year old boys are stupid.  It could aslo be a symptom of some deeper dysfunction between him and his parents. 

It's between his mother and father.  Stay out of it and be a good role model through your actions and relationship with his mother.  

You're really not the problem or the solution.  He didn't ask you so you really should stay out of it.    While I agree your wife sounds like she has lost complete control, you're not in a position to change that relationship.  Your instinct to punish him coupled with her instinct to pamper him might get him to confess to murder but probably won't stop him from smoking pot or looking at porn.  

Terrifying. 

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19 minutes ago, Biggs said:

 

I've just remarried and inherited teenage girls.  Here's my take.

He's 16 he can do whatever he wants to do.  He's telling he's mother is a form of passive aggression.  He knows it's a dumb move and he's telling her I'm stupid and you can't do anything about it.  It could be perfectly normal for a 16 year old to do this since it's part of seperating from the nest and with a few exceptions, most 16 year old boys are stupid.  It could aslo be a symptom of some deeper dysfunction between him and his parents. 

It's between his mother and father.  Stay out of it and be a good role model through your actions and relationship with his mother.  

You're really not the problem or the solution.  He didn't ask you so you really should stay out of it.    While I agree your wife sounds like she has lost complete control, you're not in a position to change that relationship.  Your instinct to punish him coupled with her instinct to pamper him might get him to confess to murder but probably won't stop him from smoking pot or looking at porn.  

You think him telling his mom was passive aggressive ? Thats an interesting take never thought about it

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6 minutes ago, HighPitch said:

You think him telling his mom was passive aggressive ? Thats an interesting take never thought about it

He didn't ask what she thought about it.  He basically said there was nothing she could do about it.  I wouldn't rule it out.  

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On 4/13/2021 at 12:01 PM, slats said:

Being a teenager is hard. Being a teenager from a broken home is harder. I'm sure he's got issues that he magnifies into worse issues. That's not a free pass, though. 

With my kids, when it came to drugs or relationships or sex, I always tried to give them the best, honest information that I had, and gave them my best advice. I didn't outlaw things that weren't under my control. You can't watch them 24/7, and if they wanna do something, they're gonna do it. And that sounds like where he's at. As others have said, it's good that he's upfront about it. 

I'd be talking to him about sticking with the wrestling, the gym, getting his grades up, and if all that is happening the weed isn't detrimental to him. If you see a decline, that should be another talk with mom and/or dad about righting the ship. 

A depressed kid watching too much porn, I think, is the bigger issue than him wanting to try weed. Has anyone brought up therapy? I divorced when my kids were 13 & 11, and they've both been, and have both had good experiences. 

What about a depressed adult watching too much porn... any advice??? Asking for a friend.  

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I smoked a TON of weed from 16 to 22 more or less. MUCH TOO MUCH weed. It absolutely affected my grades etc BUT not enough to really derail me.  
 

Ended up going to a rank and file state college etc.  Roll forward, I am quite successful, normal , moderate drinker but haven’t smoked since in my early 20s.  
 

I don’t like the idea of a kid smoking BUT having heard that his grades have dropped etc worries me.  if he held a job, maintained a B average and was respectful, I’d pretend I didn’t know and monitor it closely. 

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6 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

I smoked a TON of weed from 16 to 22 more or less. MUCH TOO MUCH weed. It absolutely affected my grades etc BUT not enough to really derail me.  
 

Ended up going to a rank and file state college etc.  Roll forward, I am quite successful, normal , moderate drinker but haven’t smoked since in my early 20s.  
 

I don’t like the idea of a kid smoking BUT having heard that his grades have dropped etc worries me.  if he held a job, maintained a B average and was respectful, I’d pretend I didn’t know and monitor it closely. 

He is a respectful kid. I know in a brief post its hard to know how he is but he isnt a disrespectful punk. He just had his moment of frustration that night where he made that declaration to his mom. I see why another poster said it was passive aggressive now. Its really not like that. He is normally fairly cool, but hes a teen so mood swings now and then doesnt alarm me.

Well the wife is getting him into a therapist. She also just got a drug test from amazon and told him that if she feels like testing him she will especially if he is going to start driving. He said "ok, you can test me now if you want"

She told her friend that some things are unavoidable, but shes trying to put them off as long as possible. Hes 16, not 19. I swear if I could get him a hooker legally i would

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7 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

What about a depressed adult watching too much porn... any advice??? Asking for a friend.  

yes. type xev bellringer into any porn site. listen to everything she says and cooperate.

 

youre welcome

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36 minutes ago, HighPitch said:

He is a respectful kid. I know in a brief post its hard to know how he is but he isnt a disrespectful punk. He just had his moment of frustration that night where he made that declaration to his mom. I see why another poster said it was passive aggressive now. Its really not like that. He is normally fairly cool, but hes a teen so mood swings now and then doesnt alarm me.

Well the wife is getting him into a therapist. She also just got a drug test from amazon and told him that if she feels like testing him she will especially if he is going to start driving. He said "ok, you can test me now if you want"

She told her friend that some things are unavoidable, but shes trying to put them off as long as possible. Hes 16, not 19. I swear if I could get him a hooker legally i would

In reference to the testing: In my 20's I had used this a few times, and had recommended it to friends:

https://www.quickfixurine.com/

Lab created, easy to use, and didn't fail me or anyone I recommended it to. 

If you're intent on testing, find a hair test. 

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15 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

What about a depressed adult watching too much porn... any advice??? Asking for a friend.  

Tell him to put Christmas lights around his monitor. I heard it helps. 

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SMOKING WEED (aka GRASS) is NOT a good idea. I’ve tried it (back in the day) and it was WORSE than anything that happened to HUNTER BIDEN. I “toked up” with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya. With no idea what happened. DON’T DO DRUGS.

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5 hours ago, TeddEY said:

SMOKING WEED (aka GRASS) is NOT a good idea. I’ve tried it (back in the day) and it was WORSE than anything that happened to HUNTER BIDEN. I “toked up” with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya. With no idea what happened. DON’T DO DRUGS.

When you woke up did you have a new tattoo or any teeth missing?

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1 hour ago, playtowinthegame said:

When you woke up did you have a new tattoo or any teeth missing?

Posted my new tattoo in the Jets tattoo thread.

Go have a look.

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7 hours ago, TeddEY said:

SMOKING WEED (aka GRASS) is NOT a good idea. I’ve tried it (back in the day) and it was WORSE than anything that happened to HUNTER BIDEN. I “toked up” with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya. With no idea what happened. DON’T DO DRUGS.

Wow, must have been a killer strain.  When I smoke, I typically dont leave my couch unless it's for the kitchen. 

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On 4/15/2021 at 12:09 AM, RedBeardedSavage said:

In reference to the testing: In my 20's I had used this a few times, and had recommended it to friends:

https://www.quickfixurine.com/

Lab created, easy to use, and didn't fail me or anyone I recommended it to. 

If you're intent on testing, find a hair test. 

Lol hes not that clever trust me.

however, i have a drug addict messed up friend that started driving 18 wheelers. He keeps that stuff in a bladder strapped to his leg all the time when he drives for warmth in case he ever get tested on the spot.

This maniac actually got called in for a random drug test once. He “peed” into the cup. Nice warm synthetic urine from the tube in his undies.

When he turned around and handed it to the lady, his pipe fell out and landed on her keyboard. He picked the pipe up and said “gotta go!”

He immediately resigned from the company so that somehow the test results would never make it to his permanent record somehow. It worked lol because its been 5 years and now he owns 2 rigs with 1 employee

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