OT- MONKEY BELONGING TO TEXAS SPECIAL TEAMS COACH’S STRIPPER GIRLFRIEND BITES CHILD ON HALLOWEEN

[freestater]

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

[JoJoTownsell1]

I think this thread had a better chance of survival if it included pictures of the GF

[freestater]

Danielle Banks – it’s still unclear if they’re married, not that it really matters — posted over the weekend on a social media app inviting kids over to enjoy a haunted house and maze. There was no mention of a pet monkey and it appears the monkey wasn’t supposed to be part of the festivities.

Monday night, Dani took to Twitter where she explained how the child got into an off-limits area. “I had a haunted house on one side gated off,” she wrote, before the Pole Assassin explained that she had no idea the boy had been bitten until a neighborhood doctor told her about the bite.

“No parent have contacted me about it!” Dani wrote.

When asked if the monkey is vaccinated, she explained how the monkey is up-to-date on her shots and is an “emotional support animal who (is) not to be touched.”

[freestater]

Just now, JoJoTownsell1 said:

I think this thread had a better chance of survival if it included pictures of the GF

 

[TokyoJetsFan]

This woman looks like the women I meet at bars where they have dart boards.

[Greenseed4]

9 minutes ago, freestater said:

“emotional support animal who (is) not to be touched.”

Support me, emotionally, from your cage. 
 

[freestater]

3 minutes ago, TokyoJetsFan said:

This woman looks like the women I meet at bars where they have dart boards.

...and tattoo chairs

[Greenseed4]

So I did some research googling and it turns out the monkey is also a part of her stage act; It slides down the pole and gives her high fives.  

No info on where the monkey sits while she’s giving lap dances, but I imagine getting a lil-monkey-fiver while getting grinded on just made it to my bucket list. 

[undertow]

She looks like she works at a club that has free bologna sandwiches at lunch.

[Jackie Treehorn]

33 minutes ago, freestater said:

Danielle Banks – it’s still unclear if they’re married, not that it really matters — posted over the weekend on a social media app inviting kids over to enjoy a haunted house and maze. There was no mention of a pet monkey and it appears the monkey wasn’t supposed to be part of the festivities.

Monday night, Dani took to Twitter where she explained how the child got into an off-limits area. “I had a haunted house on one side gated off,” she wrote, before the Pole Assassin explained that she had no idea the boy had been bitten until a neighborhood doctor told her about the bite.

“No parent have contacted me about it!” Dani wrote.

When asked if the monkey is vaccinated, she explained how the monkey is up-to-date on her shots and is an “emotional support animal who (is) not to be 

 

 

[Spoot-Face]

12 minutes ago, Greenseed4 said:

So I did some research googling and it turns out the monkey is also a part of her stage act; It slides down the pole and gives her high fives.  

No info on where the monkey sits while she’s giving lap dances, but I imagine getting a lil-monkey-fiver while getting grinded on just made it to my bucket list. 

[Xtina]

32 minutes ago, freestater said:

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

Yes. It supersedes Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s swollen testicles 

[Spoot-Face]

Calling @Chimp the Pimp

[Bruce Harper]

Who says this is off topic?

[TuscanyTile2]

1 minute ago, Bruce Harper said:

Who says this is off topic?

If this is "off topic" then I don't want to be "on topic".  

[The Crusher]

Sure honey, go pet the nice stripper ladies caged pet monkey, what can go wrong? 

[Spoot-Face]

39 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

Sure honey, go pet the nice stripper ladies caged pet monkey, what can go wrong? 

Simultaneously @CTM's worst nightmare, and sexiest fantasy.

[playtowinthegame]

1 hour ago, freestater said:

...and tattoo chairs

And a bunch of Harley Davidson's parked out front - in the winter the snowmobiles replace the motorcycles.

[IndianaJet]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD3M527RVSS/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

 

 

[Sarge4Tide]

C'mon guys, at some point, we've all been bitten by a stripper's monkey.....

[Bruce Harper]

And I love that she called it an "emotional support" animal.  Personally, I have never found monkeys to be all that relaxing.

[jgb]

2 minutes ago, Bruce Harper said:

And I love that she called it an "emotional support" animal.  Personally, I have never found monkeys to be all that relaxing.

This is basically how I see @Jetsfan80's role on JN

[HawkeyeJet]

We’ve all been there

[Spoot-Face]

5 minutes ago, jgb said:

This is basically how I see @Jetsfan80's role on JN

Nah, @Jetsfan80's role is more like this:

[jgb]

4 minutes ago, Spoot-Face said:

Nah, @Jetsfan80's role is more like this:

And I was worried how he'd react to being compared to a sh*t-stirring monkey...

[Kolchak]

What kind of pole do you have to have to get her attention?  Asking for a friend.

[Smashmouth]

2 hours ago, freestater said:

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

At first I read this wrong I thought the stripper girlfriend bit the kid

[Jetsfan80]

38 minutes ago, jgb said:

This is basically how I see @Jetsfan80's role on JN

 

32 minutes ago, Spoot-Face said:

Nah, @Jetsfan80's role is more like this:

 

Hey f**k you both.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

❤️

 

[Jetsfan80]

  

2 hours ago, Spoot-Face said:

 

@Integrity28 quit biting kids k?

[Smashmouth]

12 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

  

 

@Integrity28 quit biting kids k?

He's a stripper ?

[Jetsfan80]

Just now, Smashmouth said:

He's a stripper ?

Stripper monkey, yes

[OilfieldJet]

I do so enjoy being a member of a male dominated Board......

[ID.]

[freestater]

27 minutes ago, OilfieldJet said:

I do so enjoy being a member of a male dominated Board......

To befair, we tried it the other way too...

[CanadaSteve]

NOT gonna lie.  In all the scenarios playing out in my head this morning when I woke up, this is not something I thought I was gonna learn about today.  Like, not at all.