OT- MONKEY BELONGING TO TEXAS SPECIAL TEAMS COACH’S STRIPPER GIRLFRIEND BITES CHILD ON HALLOWEEN

[peebag]

2 hours ago, HawkeyeJet said:

We’ve all been there

Not all of us are from Iowa.

[peebag]

1 hour ago, Jetsfan80 said:

Stripper monkey spanker, yes

fixed.

[Beerfish]

 

[thshadow]

2 hours ago, Smashmouth said:

At first I read this wrong I thought the stripper girlfriend bit the kid

I thought the coach's stripper had a girlfriend, and was still trying to figure out who the biter was.

[Greenseed4]

Final thought:

That monkey saw a kid snooping around where he didn’t belong. A kid whose natural curiosity could not be satisfied by a haunted Halloween maze and it’s surrounding seasonal festivities.  No, that kid wanted more, and he was headed straight toward the promised land of MoreVille.  See, strippers (in general) are a bit more “open minded” than the average girl next door. But when a stripper has the nickname “Pole Assassin” and is open to cross-mammal entertainment, you’ve gotta believe she has more hiding in her bedroom drawer than the common “unmentionables”.

No, he didn’t bite that boy by accident, he bit that boy out of caution.  He spared him a lifetime of therapy, coping with the  trauma of seeing gags, and whips, arm-shaped dildos, and forever looking at swings a bit differently than his friends.  Or perhaps, he spared the boy from the very pole that took his friend, and sent her into a tailspin of poor choices.  

That monkey is a Goddamn hero.  
I think we all need a little monkey in our life. 

[WestCoastOffensive]

7 hours ago, freestater said:

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

Misleading title; everybody in Texas is a stripper. Notice the low-brow attempt to use the monkey for humor? These people own automatic weapons. Luckily, Furious George only bit somebody. 

[WestCoastOffensive]

"cross-mammal entertainment"

I'll agree

[peebag]

4 minutes ago, WestCoastOffensive said:

"cross-mammal entertainment"

I'll agree

post more often you big doofus!

[Hex]

Most threads here are how either the jets are awesome or they suck

 

Which category does this one fit in?

[freestater]

21 minutes ago, peebag said:

post more often you big doofus!

These are the type of topics to drag @WestCoastOffensive out into the daylight. 

[Skeptable]

8 hours ago, freestater said:

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

So much awesome in the title of this story

[WestCoastOffensive]

31 minutes ago, Hex said:

Most threads here are how either the jets are awesome or they suck

 

Which category does this one fit in?

The kid got bit after he called the monkey "Mike McCagnan". 

Jane Goodall was furious

[Jet_Engine1]

8 hours ago, freestater said:

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

My new favorite headline!

[Larz]

Strippers are people too

[freestater]

strippers, monkeys, trick-r-treating...this one had it all

[Dcat]

On 11/4/2021 at 11:27 AM, freestater said:

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

I don't think you need to worry.  No  doubt some of the mods like the stripper girlfriends and some dig the monkeys. Put those together and it is mindblowing.  

[Dcat]

On 11/4/2021 at 11:42 AM, Greenseed4 said:

Support me, emotionally, from your cage. 
 

The creature's incessant masturbating should do the trick for you.

[JohnnyLV]

On 11/4/2021 at 8:27 AM, freestater said:

https://www.outkick.com/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coachs-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween/

Yeah yeah...I know. Technically football related so I'm posting it here. Go ahead and move it to the lounge if you *must*. Its not like the mods really overwork themselves around here anyhow. In any event, I must now be considered in the running for greatest thread title ever. 

What does her being a stripper have anything to do with anything. Not all strippers are dumb skanks a lot of them are highly intelligent. 

[fullblast]

On 11/4/2021 at 11:30 AM, JoJoTownsell1 said:

I think this thread had a better chance of survival if it included pictures of the GF

Pre- or post-bite?

[Jet2020]

I think she deserves to keep a monkey since she takes care of plenty of monkeys every night. I wouldn’t let my monkey close to her though. 

[the Claw]

This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bill Belichick is a scumbag.

[The Crusher]

On 11/4/2021 at 5:23 PM, Greenseed4 said:

Final thought:

That monkey saw a kid snooping around where he didn’t belong. A kid whose natural curiosity could not be satisfied by a haunted Halloween maze and it’s surrounding seasonal festivities.  No, that kid wanted more, and he was headed straight toward the promised land of MoreVille.  See, strippers (in general) are a bit more “open minded” than the average girl next door. But when a stripper has the nickname “Pole Assassin” and is open to cross-mammal entertainment, you’ve gotta believe she has more hiding in her bedroom drawer than the common “unmentionables”.

No, he didn’t bite that boy by accident, he bit that boy out of caution.  He spared him a lifetime of therapy, coping with the  trauma of seeing gags, and whips, arm-shaped dildos, and forever looking at swings a bit differently than his friends.  Or perhaps, he spared the boy from the very pole that took his friend, and sent her into a tailspin of poor choices.  

That monkey is a Goddamn hero.  
I think we all need a little monkey in our life. 

Makes sense. He was an emotional support monkey after all. 

[Greenbloodblitz]

I like strippers.. and monkeys.

I've partied with both.. just never at the same time.

Edit: Okay I take that back. Yes I have.

The memory is still hazy but I believe it's past the point of the statute of limitations.

[defensedoesntgetyoulaid]

This is strange because a stripper once bit my monkey

[Jetsfan80]

1 hour ago, the Claw said:

This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bill Belichick is a scumbag.

@freestater

[Snook]

On 11/4/2021 at 7:08 PM, Hex said:

Most threads here are how either the jets are awesome or they suck

 

Which category does this one fit in?

They bite

[Bugg]

On 11/4/2021 at 11:47 AM, Greenseed4 said:

So I did some research googling and it turns out the monkey is also a part of her stage act; It slides down the pole and gives her high fives.  

No info on where the monkey sits while she’s giving lap dances, but I imagine getting a lil-monkey-fiver while getting grinded on just made it to my bucket list. 

Doing God's work, are you? Is such research done in a lab coat?