Should I egg and toilet paper my neighbor's house?

[JiF]

Because I dont know what else to do.  I guess I could have just like a simple conversation but I dont think it would register because they're clearly morons.

You're probably asking, what's the issue JiFapono?  Well, let me explain.

I own 2 Dobermans.  Jackson and Minzi.   Consistent with the breed, they're very protective.  Especially Minzi, the female, any dogs she sees or hears, sets her off.  Jackson, not so much.  Just a few dogs in the neighborhood, not sure why but they trigger him big time.  Otherwise, he couldnt care less.   Well, a couple of the dogs that do are a 2 little sh*t yapper dogs that belong to neighbors 2 doors down.   He hates them, he wants to eat them and quite frankly, the couple is weird and I dont really enjoy interacting with them either.  Maybe he feels that, I dont know.  

So here is the issue, these ****ers, walks their dogs in the pitch dark, with flashlights between 5:00-5:30am every morning.  These dogs, bark at the wind.  So, every morning walking down the street is this couple, flashlights in hand, with 2 dogs that bark their faces off the entire walk....and guess what it does in my house?  Holy sh*t!  You would think my house is getting broken into.  My dogs go ******* crazy and there is no possible way these assholes, dont hear that they set my house off every ******* morning while we're asleep.  I'm an early riser but 5:00am?  **** you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the thing, they can walk the other direction.  I'm not on a dead-end street.   In fact, if they walk opposite of my house, there is a nice little park at the end of the road that they can walk their dogs around.  Now, I live at the beach and if they want to get to the beach, they will have to walk past my house but they don't!!!!!!!!!!!  They're not going to the beach, they walk them down the street, cover every angle of my house and then they double back, directly pass my house again!!!!!!!!!

My only solution is to toilet paper and egg their house every week for the rest of their lives.  Reasonable response?  Please advise.

 

[Waka Flocka Flacco]

Maybe if you didn't surf in a dress your nazi dogs wouldn't think you needed protection from terriers.

[Hal N of Provo]

DUDE. That’s not good.   The fact they walk them barking nonstop at that time is telling.  They won’t accept subtle hints.   You must burn their house down. Or talk to them, but they may ignore the TOTALLY reasonable request to go the other way - because you shouldn’t have to ask in the first place. 

[JiF]

28 minutes ago, Waka Flocka Flacco said:

Maybe if you didn't surf in a dress your nazi dogs wouldn't think you needed protection from terriers.

[JiF]

2 hours ago, Hal N of Provo said:

DUDE. That’s not good.   The fact they walk them barking nonstop at that time is telling.  They won’t accept subtle hints.   You must burn their house down. Or talk to them, but they may ignore the TOTALLY reasonable request to go the other way - because you shouldn’t have to ask in the first place. 

As much as those dogs annoy me, I cant burn their house down because I'd feel guilty if those little guys got stuck in there.  Hence the less life-threatening measure of eggs and toilet paper. 

[#27TheDominator]

Put some powder on the grass in front of the house and put warning signs up that it will kill pets.  Then maybe they won't walk in front of your house.

 

[HawkeyeJet]

Yes.  I didn’t read the circumstances, but yes.

[Jetsfan80]

Fly a plane with a banner over their house all day, every day.  You've got the money right?

[Peace Frog]

This is so weird, I own 2 teacup yorkies and I walk them every moring between 5:00-5:30 am (it's dark out so I use a bright flashlight) and every time I walk past one neighbor's house, his dogs go crazy causing my sweet lovable pups to lightly bark.

I guess I could walk the other way but they really don't like the park (they also don't like the beach so we never get all the way to the beach--we just double back).

Am thinking of egging and toilet papering their house.  

[JiF]

1 hour ago, Peace Frog said:

This is so weird, I own 2 teacup yorkies and I walk them every moring between 5:00-5:30 am (it's dark out so I use a bright flashlight) and every time I walk past one neighbor's house, his dogs go crazy causing my sweet lovable pups to lightly bark.

I guess I could walk the other way but they really don't like the park (they also don't like the beach so we never get all the way to the beach--we just double back).

Am thinking of egging and toilet papering their house.  

Well, I'd say you're a jerk if it's the same as in my case where if you walk the other direction, there is more road to walk even if you dont go into the park and you can double back the same way without anyone's dogs going crazy on the other side of the block.

 

[Peace Frog]

1 minute ago, JiFapono said:

Well, I'd say you're a jerk if it's the same as in my case where if you walk the other direction, there is more road to walk even if you dont go into the park and you can double back the same way without anyone's dogs going crazy on the other side of the block.

 

Dude.

[JiF]

7 minutes ago, Peace Frog said:

Dude.

What's mine say?!

[undertow]

I always wonder about people who own those little rat dogs.  Like let's pick the most annoying dog that barks at the wind and the one with the smallest bladder so it pisses all over my house....sounds like a plan!

[Peace Frog]

2 hours ago, JiFapono said:

What's mine say?!

That was a joke. Too subtle?

[Barry McCockinner]

Vandalizing your neighbors home would be a dick move and could possibly effect your property value. Have you considered just releasing your dogs on them? They may kill and eat the rat dogs, and possibly their owners, but at least you wouldn't have to vandalize your neighbors home.

[Hex]

One question:

Is it raining?

[JiF]

1 hour ago, Peace Frog said:

That was a joke. Too subtle?

As were both of my response. ❤️ 

[JiF]

56 minutes ago, Barry McCockinner said:

Vandalizing your neighbors home would be a dick move and could possibly effect your property value. Have you considered just releasing your dogs on them? They may kill and eat the rat dogs, and possibly their owners, but at least you wouldn't have to vandalize your neighbors home.

Good points and definitely up for consideration.  Just like, accidentally have the back gate open and oooops! 

[JiF]

27 minutes ago, Hex said:

One question:

Is it raining?

It did rain today.  

[Hex]

3 hours ago, JiFapono said:

It did rain today.  

Then it's the perfect time to toilet paper them!

[doitny]

do they pick up after they sh*t? you could report them for that. then they might walk them where there are no houses. 

or fight fire with fire. wake up an hour earlier and do the same sh*t to them. make your dogs bark in front of there house.

another option is they cant just be bothering you. ask your other neighbors. get a few that feel the same and you all go talk to them. more people will carry heavier weight. and you just might find one neighbor that gets along with them and they might listen too.

[The Crusher]

On 12/8/2021 at 6:51 AM, JiFapono said:

Because I dont know what else to do.  I guess I could have just like a simple conversation but I dont think it would register because they're clearly morons.

You're probably asking, what's the issue JiFapono?  Well, let me explain.

I own 2 Dobermans.  Jackson and Minzi.   Consistent with the breed, they're very protective.  Especially Minzi, the female, any dogs she sees or hears, sets her off.  Jackson, not so much.  Just a few dogs in the neighborhood, not sure why but they trigger him big time.  Otherwise, he couldnt care less.   Well, a couple of the dogs that do are a 2 little sh*t yapper dogs that belong to neighbors 2 doors down.   He hates them, he wants to eat them and quite frankly, the couple is weird and I dont really enjoy interacting with them either.  Maybe he feels that, I dont know.  

So here is the issue, these ****ers, walks their dogs in the pitch dark, with flashlights between 5:00-5:30am every morning.  These dogs, bark at the wind.  So, every morning walking down the street is this couple, flashlights in hand, with 2 dogs that bark their faces off the entire walk....and guess what it does in my house?  Holy sh*t!  You would think my house is getting broken into.  My dogs go ******* crazy and there is no possible way these assholes, dont hear that they set my house off every ******* morning while we're asleep.  I'm an early riser but 5:00am?  **** you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the thing, they can walk the other direction.  I'm not on a dead-end street.   In fact, if they walk opposite of my house, there is a nice little park at the end of the road that they can walk their dogs around.  Now, I live at the beach and if they want to get to the beach, they will have to walk past my house but they don't!!!!!!!!!!!  They're not going to the beach, they walk them down the street, cover every angle of my house and then they double back, directly pass my house again!!!!!!!!!

My only solution is to toilet paper and egg their house every week for the rest of their lives.  Reasonable response?  Please advise.

 

Do you have those big garbage cans with the wheels you have to pull down to the curb for trash collection like we do? We have one for recyclables  and one for trash. 

[JiF]

52 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

Do you have those big garbage cans with the wheels you have to pull down to the curb for trash collection like we do? We have one for recyclables  and one for trash. 

Yes, we have those as well.  Put them out this morning...why?

[JiF]

8 hours ago, doitny said:

do they pick up after they sh*t? you could report them for that. then they might walk them where there are no houses. 

or fight fire with fire. wake up an hour earlier and do the same sh*t to them. make your dogs bark in front of there house.

another option is they cant just be bothering you. ask your other neighbors. get a few that feel the same and you all go talk to them. more people will carry heavier weight. and you just might find one neighbor that gets along with them and they might listen too.

They do pick up their sh*t and they are rather nice people, just weird and not people I want to talk to other exchanging pleasantries. 

Using the other neighbors is like, a legit good idea....

[JiF]

They did it again this morning and this time, I just let my dogs out back and let them go crazy, at 5:30.  Didnt try to stop them one bit, let them wake up the whole neighborhood just to show them how obnoxious they are..  They actually picked the little sh*ts up and scurried away quickly.  That might be my move from now on.  I feel bad for my other neighbors but **** it.

 

 

[The Crusher]

12 minutes ago, JiFapono said:

Yes, we have those as well.  Put them out this morning...why?

Just put them on the sidewalk when their full Instead of the curb. Make sure they got to move them or walk around them. Most people will take patj  of least resistance and go other way. If your driveway crosses the sidewalk you can do the same  thing with your truck, just leave it so it crosses the sidewalk. Make them walk around it. 
 

If they say anything just apologize nicely and tell them you’ve been really absent minded lately because someone is walking by your house early in the morning and your dogs have been waking up. Explain its effecting your sleep and day to day, if their ok human beings this should work.  

[Jetsfan80]

18 minutes ago, JiFapono said:

They did it again this morning and this time, I just let my dogs out back and let them go crazy, at 5:30.  Didnt try to stop them one bit, let them wake up the whole neighborhood just to show them how obnoxious they are..  They actually picked the little sh*ts up and scurried away quickly.  That might be my move from now on.  I feel bad for my other neighbors but **** it.

Duuuuude I just realized we forgot to loop in @Nolder to get his advice on this!!!  What a terrible oversight on my part.  

[JiF]

5 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

Just put them on the sidewalk when their full Instead of the curb. Make sure they got to move them or walk around them. Most people will take patj  of least resistance and go other way. If your driveway crosses the sidewalk you can do the same  thing with your truck, just leave it so it crosses the sidewalk. Make them walk around it. 
 

If they say anything just apologize nicely and tell them you’ve been really absent minded lately because someone is walking by your house early in the morning and your dogs have been waking up. Explain its effecting your sleep and day to day, if their ok human beings this should work.  

I see but we dont have sidewalks in my neighborhood.  

[jgb]

Bring over a nice bottle of scotch to share with the dude. Drink and commiserate about how much of a pain in the ass wives are. When the bottle is at the halfway point, tell him you got a little problem with your wife being angry and pissed off all day because the barking dogs wake her up at 5am. Then she's too tired at night to give daddy any sugar. Ask him man-to-man if he could just take the yappers the other way in the morning, would be a huge bro code fist bump and you'd owe him one.

If he says "yeah, man, no problem." Finish the bottle together.

If he tells you to eff off, knock him out with the bottle. Pour what remains around his body. Light a match and walk away.

 

[JiF]

2 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

Duuuuude I just realized we forgot to loop in @Nolder to get his advice on this!!!  What a terrible oversight on my part.  

hahahaha - another funny story, and I could totally see Nolder being this guy.

I have an unused baseball field turning into a useless pasture that is like 300 yards from my house.  When covid started and I was home all day, I would bring my dogs to the park every morning to throw the ball, run them to death and it was perfect because when they got home, they were knocked the F out for a good 4-5 hours after.  It was early, nobody out, we didnt bother anyone and they are command trained, so we cause no issues, ever.  Well, after about a year of this, one day I'm stopped by the cops.  Some Nolder like character started calling the cops on me and the dogs....and anytime I take them off leash now, the cops come.  It's ******* bullsh*t.  Pisses me off so bad.  And the real ****ed up part, he only calls the cops on me.  Plenty of people use the park for the same reason.

@Nolder - did you move to Florida?

[Barry McCockinner]

6 minutes ago, jgb said:

Bring over a nice bottle of scotch to share with the dude. For the first half of the bottle, commiserate about how much of a pain in the ass wives are. When the bottle is at the halfway point, tell him you got a little problem with your wife getting all angry and pissed off all day because the barking dogs wake her up at 5am. Then she's too tired at night to give daddy any sugar. Ask him mano e mano if he could just take the yappers the other way in the morning, would be a huge bro code fist bump and you'd owe him one.

If he says "yeah, man, no problem." Finish the bottle together.

IF he tells you to eff off, knock him out with the bottle. Pour it around his body. Light a match and walk away.

 

@Jetsfan80 - why isn't this guy playing teh mafia? You have failed us.

[JiF]

17 minutes ago, jgb said:

Bring over a nice bottle of scotch to share with the dude. For the first half of the bottle, commiserate about how much of a pain in the ass wives are. When the bottle is at the halfway point, tell him you got a little problem with your wife getting all angry and pissed off all day because the barking dogs wake her up at 5am. Then she's too tired at night to give daddy any sugar. Ask him mano e mano if he could just take the yappers the other way in the morning, would be a huge bro code fist bump and you'd owe him one.

If he says "yeah, man, no problem." Finish the bottle together.

IF he tells you to eff off, knock him out with the bottle. Pour it around his body. Light a match and walk away.

 

Risky, could be wasting good scotch on a dbag.

[jgb]

24 minutes ago, Barry McCockinner said:

@Jetsfan80 - why isn't this guy playing teh mafia? You have failed us.

He tried. Couldn't afford my appearance fee.

[Snell41]

Let your dogs terrorize them outside,it’s such a simple solution. 🤷🏼‍♂️


Sent from my iPhone using JetNation.com mobile app

[The Crusher]

1 hour ago, JiFapono said:

I see but we dont have sidewalks in my neighborhood.  

No sidewalks? Well, you know what time they walk right? Put both dogs on lead abs and just fly out your front door wearing just your draws as they approach. Let the kids get within 7 snarling growling or so feet of them. When they look at you in horror go,” sorry man, when they hear barking they just gotta go out.” Do it every night until they stop coming pass your house.