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Maxman

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Thanks for the good wishes. Sometimes, the arguments get so horrific I feel like saying "Its over, forget this..." then I remember that i have two kids. I can't do that to them...so i have to battle onward thinking that it will get better in the future. Its been 6 years and it seems we have been fighting for the last 4 years. We had a hiatus with the birth of our daughter 3 years ago, but it has been mind numbing at times.

The key issue is money. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can sure ease stress. Thanks to gigantic law school loans, I feel as if everytime I try and get ahead...I am always behind. AND, now tax season comes...every year we owe the govt..why? The more you earn the more you pay. This year, i got bumped into a higher tax bracket...so even though i have this new job, after the new tax bracket takes hold of my earnings, i am making the same as i was in my prior job...UGH!

Sorry, i don't mean to vent. I am just fed up...fed up with feeling sad when i come home because a fight is waiting for me..or getting headaches trying to figure out how i am going to pay for this or that. Don't get me wrong, the wife works....hell she earns more than me (although I have significantly closed the gap in the last few years).

Ok enough, i am sorry my JN brethren. I will end this mesage now.

LL

P.S. Even though you may have a great salary, you may also have huge bills (mortgage, car payment, ugh!)

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Me, too. When the market is closed, the phones are so quiet and no one is here. It's a partially staffed day.

Someone call me...please.

GGG I will see what I can do for you to get Derek to call you- you may have to take Max as a replacement though.

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Thanks for the good wishes. Sometimes, the arguments get so horrific I feel like saying "Its over, forget this..." then I remember that i have two kids. I can't do that to them...so i have to battle onward thinking that it will get better in the future. Its been 6 years and it seems we have been fighting for the last 4 years. We had a hiatus with the birth of our daughter 3 years ago, but it has been mind numbing at times.

The key issue is money. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can sure ease stress. Thanks to gigantic law school loans, I feel as if everytime I try and get ahead...I am always behind. AND, now tax season comes...every year we owe the govt..why? The more you earn the more you pay. This year, i got bumped into a higher tax bracket...so even though i have this new job, after the new tax bracket takes hold of my earnings, i am making the same as i was in my prior job...UGH!

Sorry, i don't mean to vent. I am just fed up...fed up with feeling sad when i come home because a fight is waiting for me..or getting headaches trying to figure out how i am going to pay for this or that. Don't get me wrong, the wife works....hell she earns more than me (although I have significantly closed the gap in the last few years).

Ok enough, i am sorry my JN brethren. I will end this mesage now.

LL

P.S. Even though you may have a great salary, you may also have huge bills (mortgage, car payment, ugh!)

LL, Sounds like I went through something similar after my wife had li'l Billy. It took 2 years and lots of Zoloft before my wife finally came to grips with what her life had become. And that was the issue (at least in part); she wanted to be a mommy, but she was totally unprepared for the way it completely changes your life.

Not only that, but the company I had worked for for 8 years had been acquired and they laid off 378 people, me being one of them. Add to that living with her parents for 2 months while the new house we were building on Long Island was completed.

So there we were: living with her parents, new baby, no job, bills up the wazoo, and my wife had a severe case of post-partum depression.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not alone. After we (meaning her parents and I) finally convinced her to go talk to someone, things settled down to some semblance of normal. Now she's off the medication, I have a great job, and our family life has never been better.

So I guess I'm saying that you might want to find someone to talk to. Someone to listen. It isn't healthy to fight all of the time, and to avoid going home because of it. Home should be your solitude, not your sentence.

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LL, Sounds like I went through something similar after my wife had li'l Billy. It took 2 years and lots of Zoloft before my wife finally came to grips with what her life had become. And that was the issue (at least in part); she wanted to be a mommy, but she was totally unprepared for the way it completely changes your life.

Not only that, but the company I had worked for for 8 years had been acquired and they laid off 378 people, me being one of them. Add to that living with her parents for 2 months while the new house we were building on Long Island was completed.

So there we were: living with her parents, new baby, no job, bills up the wazoo, and my wife had a severe case of post-partum depression.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not alone. After we (meaning her parents and I) finally convinced her to go talk to someone, things settled down to some semblance of normal. Now she's off the medication, I have a great job, and our family life has never been better.

So I guess I'm saying that you might want to find someone to talk to. Someone to listen. It isn't healthy to fight all of the time, and to avoid going home because of it. Home should be your solitude, not your sentence.

DHJF,

You are right. I have thought about counseling. I dont want a divorce at all. I love my children and my wife to go through that. She has even brought up that she may need medication because she says she feels anxious/depressed at times.

I apologize to all for venting on Good Friday. I just felt lonely, and really sad. This should be a great moment in my life, I just joined a great firm (one that i thought I had no shot at) but i don't feel happy. I feel burdened by the fighting. You are right, home should be an oasis for me, and right now, it feels like the last place I want to be.

Anyone, else going through or have gone through this?

LL

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DHJF,

You are right. I have thought about counseling. I dont want a divorce at all. I love my children and my wife to go through that. She has even brought up that she may need medication because she says she feels anxious/depressed at times.

I apologize to all for venting on Good Friday. I just felt lonely, and really sad. This should be a great moment in my life, I just joined a great firm (one that i thought I had no shot at) but i don't feel happy. I feel burdened by the fighting. You are right, home should be an oasis for me, and right now, it feels like the last place I want to be.

Anyone, else going through or have gone through this?

LL

LL Hope things start working out better for you-good to communcate and let things out instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up.

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I'm a grad student. I wake up about 9. I posit the possibility of infinity, perpetual motion and whether or not any accounts of history recorded before WWI are to be believed, then I read some Melville, have some breakfast, lift weights, go to lecture, lift some more weights, read, go home and drink, go to a pub and discuss the aforementioned philosophical issues with friends, then I go home and go to sleep.

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I'm a grad student. I wake up about 9. I posit the possibility of infinity, perpetual motion and whether or not any accounts of history recorded before WWI are to be believed, then I read some Melville, have some breakfast, lift weights, go to lecture, lift some more weights, read, go home and drink, go to a pub and discuss the aforementioned philosophical issues with friends, then I go home and go to sleep.

You're a grad student? That means you're up by noon, home by 3 and drunk by 6.

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DHJF,

You are right. I have thought about counseling. I dont want a divorce at all. I love my children and my wife to go through that. She has even brought up that she may need medication because she says she feels anxious/depressed at times.

I apologize to all for venting on Good Friday. I just felt lonely, and really sad. This should be a great moment in my life, I just joined a great firm (one that i thought I had no shot at) but i don't feel happy. I feel burdened by the fighting. You are right, home should be an oasis for me, and right now, it feels like the last place I want to be.

Anyone, else going through or have gone through this?

LL

Pregnancy can really mess up a womans hormonal balance. One of the most misdiagnosed conditions for woman is being Hypothyroid. Its often misdiagnosed as depression and mistreated. A simple TSH blood test will dtermine this. Her TSH level should be between 0 and 2.5 .

It can be cured with several types of meds.

The sympton checklist is as follows:

http://thyroid.about.com/cs/hypothyroidism/a/checklist.htm

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LL Hope things start working out better for you-good to communcate and let things out instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up.

You know what...

1) I have never hit my wife

2) I have never cursed her out (never have called her a bitch)

3) I have never said I didn't love her

usually, a latin man is supposed to have a temper. However, my mom taught me never to hit a woman (unless she strikes your mother, wife, daughter). I can temper the inner demons that cause doubt, sadness and angst in a way where they would never manifest themselves in a violent way.

Bottom line is that i respect women. I would never violate them in anyway (verbally, physically or otherwise)

Anyway, thanks to all for your comments. Its nice to know I am not alone in suffering these things. I am so grateful we have a community here on-line...

LL

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