My brother is dying

[BUM-KNEE]

Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, the doc gave him a 1% chance of surviving it.

Im not sure what to do, Im just in a fog of depression now. I hate that he is laying there in a hospital bed suffering, and theres nothing I can do to help other than visiting and trying to find something to say to him. We were pretty close growing up and he taught me alot. I dont know what to say to him in the hospital, what the **** do you say in a situation like this? This is very hard to come to grips with, and I hate it. I ******* hate it.

I just had to vent a bit here, its one of the very few places I have to do so. 

[southparkcpa]

1 minute ago, BUM-KNEE said:

Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, the doc gave him a 1% chance of surviving it.

Im not sure what to do, Im just in a fog of depression now. I hate that he is laying there in a hospital bed suffering, and theres nothing I can do to help other than visiting and trying to find something to say to him. We were pretty close growing up and he taught me alot. I dont know what to say to him in the hospital, what the **** do you say in a situation like this? This is very hard to come to grips with, and I hate it. I ******* hate it.

I just had to vent a bit here, its one of the very few places I have to do so. 

You do what you are doing…. Stay with him.  Let him know you care and he affects you.  Prayers.   Lots of.

How old is he?????

[BUM-KNEE]

1 minute ago, southparkcpa said:

You do what you are doing…. Stay with him.  Let him know you care and he affects you.  Prayers.   Lots of.

How old is he?????

He is 6 years older than me, 58.

 

[southparkcpa]

2 minutes ago, BUM-KNEE said:

He is 6 years older than me, 58.

 

Very sorry…..  so young.   

[BUM-KNEE]

2 minutes ago, southparkcpa said:

Very sorry…..  so young.   

Yeah

[batman10023]

Sorry

can you try to enroll in some clinical trials? 
 

Very sad.  

[HawkeyeJet]

So sorry.  I can’t imagine what you all are dealing with.  I hope you and your brother and family find strength and comfort from whatever you can.  Keep your head up

[Nolder]

I've spent a lot of time in hospitals over the past 10 years or so, not for myself. It's hard I know. You just sit there and feel like you should be doing SOMETHING but there is usually nothing you can do but sit there. Maybe fill out paperwork if you can even think that clearly. I know it feels hollow from someone on the internet you don't know but my thoughts are with you and your brother and even though it's bleak I hope you get that miracle that sometimes some people get. Just try to take care of yourself in the meantime. Drink water and get sleep when you can even if it's in a chair in the hospital. It doesn't do anyone any good to run yourself ragged.

[joewilly12]

Sorry 

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

Lost my sister to that crap . Just be there for him .

[JustInFudge]

Heartbreaking to hear, **** cancer.  There are never the perfect words to say in this situation.  The only thing I can suggest, be positive, share fond memories, let him know the lessons he taught you, let him know the legacy he'll live on but dont beat yourself up over what is happening because truthfully, the only thing you can control is how you respond and your family needs you.

❤️ 

 

[munchmemory]

On 9/4/2022 at 9:24 PM, BUM-KNEE said:

Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, the doc gave him a 1% chance of surviving it.

Im not sure what to do, Im just in a fog of depression now. I hate that he is laying there in a hospital bed suffering, and theres nothing I can do to help other than visiting and trying to find something to say to him. We were pretty close growing up and he taught me alot. I dont know what to say to him in the hospital, what the **** do you say in a situation like this? This is very hard to come to grips with, and I hate it. I ******* hate it.

I just had to vent a bit here, its one of the very few places I have to do so. 

I am so sorry to read this, B-K.    My Mom died of this exact disease so I know the stress and sadness you are experiencing.    Sending you all the positive thoughts and best wishes that somehow your brothers pulls out a last minute miracle.  

It's also easy to lose yourself in this difficult situation.  Make sure you take care of yourself, too.   Big hugs and support to you and your brother.  

[Lith]

So sorry to hear this Bum-knee.  Just went through this with my dad about 6 months ago.  What you say when you are with him does not really matter. 

Just so long as he knows you are there and that you love him.

[#27TheDominator]

So sorry to hear this.  You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.  I will echo what others have said.  Know that you are doing all you can just by being there when you are able.  It is rare that there is something helpful to say, but I am sure he will be aware of and appreciate your presence above all else. 

[PFSIKH]

Sorry to hear this. What @southparkcpa said.  Be with him.  Let him know what you posted here and how he impacted your life.  

[Integrity28]

On 9/4/2022 at 9:24 PM, BUM-KNEE said:

Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, the doc gave him a 1% chance of surviving it.

Im not sure what to do, Im just in a fog of depression now. I hate that he is laying there in a hospital bed suffering, and theres nothing I can do to help other than visiting and trying to find something to say to him. We were pretty close growing up and he taught me alot. I dont know what to say to him in the hospital, what the **** do you say in a situation like this? This is very hard to come to grips with, and I hate it. I ******* hate it.

I just had to vent a bit here, its one of the very few places I have to do so. 

Awful. I’m sorry.

With those close to me I’ve seen go thru this. I’ve simply told them how much they meant to me, what they taught me and how I will pay it forward in life. Mostly, just be at his side.

[ZachEY]

Very sorry to hear.  There is no right combination of words here.  It sucks, and that's worth validating - maybe just making sure he knows how much he matters.

Have you considered speaking to a professional yourself?  Grief is difficult and often complicated.

[JetPotato]

So sorry about this, BK. 

[jgb]

That blows. Thinking of you and your family.

[BUM-KNEE]

2 hours ago, ZachEY said:

Very sorry to hear.  There is no right combination of words here.  It sucks, and that's worth validating - maybe just making sure he knows how much he matters.

Have you considered speaking to a professional yourself?  Grief is difficult and often complicated.

I probably should talk to someone, we just found out my step father has leukemia a month ago. It's been a rough stretch lately..... 

Thanks everyone for the help and good wishes, it's been helpful to me

[Fantasy Island]

So sorry to hear.  You are there for him.  That’s all you can really do.

[ZachEY]

12 minutes ago, BUM-KNEE said:

I probably should talk to someone, we just found out my step father has leukemia a month ago. It's been a rough stretch lately..... 

Thanks everyone for the help and good wishes, it's been helpful to me

I like to use the airplane metaphor when talking to people about this.

There's a good reason why they tell you to secure your mask before assisting others.

[Integrity28]

36 minutes ago, ZachEY said:

I like to use the airplane metaphor when talking to people about this.

There's a good reason why they tell you to secure your mask before assisting others.

100% of this.

Take care of yourself in order to take care of others.

[ZachEY]

2 minutes ago, Integrity28 said:

100% of this.

Take care of yourself in order to take care of others.

This message resonates even more when directly above your signature.

[HighPitch]

On 9/4/2022 at 9:24 PM, BUM-KNEE said:

Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, the doc gave him a 1% chance of surviving it.

Im not sure what to do, Im just in a fog of depression now. I hate that he is laying there in a hospital bed suffering, and theres nothing I can do to help other than visiting and trying to find something to say to him. We were pretty close growing up and he taught me alot. I dont know what to say to him in the hospital, what the **** do you say in a situation like this? This is very hard to come to grips with, and I hate it. I ******* hate it.

I just had to vent a bit here, its one of the very few places I have to do so. 

Tell him exactly this

sorry you havebto go through this

[peebag]

Lost an older brother to cancer.

There's very few people in this life that will love you without clauses.  He was one of them.

I fill your pain and hope that everything will turn around.

[Biggs]

Don't know if he's lucid or fully medicated on Morphin.  If he's lucid and able get him out of bed and try and walk the hospital halls with him.  If he's on a drip they can be put on a mobile pole.  

Just getting him up and out of bed and moving will be good for him.  If he can walk next to you or holding your arm there's at least a sense of normalcy that will make the time together easier for both of you.

Really sorry it's tough stuff.   He's lucky to have such a great kid brother.

[faba]

So sorry to hear this -think of good memories and keep the faith

[Jimmy 2 Times]

On 9/4/2022 at 8:24 PM, BUM-KNEE said:

Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, the doc gave him a 1% chance of surviving it.

Im not sure what to do, Im just in a fog of depression now. I hate that he is laying there in a hospital bed suffering, and theres nothing I can do to help other than visiting and trying to find something to say to him. We were pretty close growing up and he taught me alot. I dont know what to say to him in the hospital, what the **** do you say in a situation like this? This is very hard to come to grips with, and I hate it. I ******* hate it.

I just had to vent a bit here, its one of the very few places I have to do so. 

There's nothing you have to say.

Just be there.  It will be enough.

Prayers to your family. 

[T0mShane]

God bless you and your family, brother. I’ve been down this road a few times with relatives and even so I couldn’t imagine how I’d deal with it if it was my brother. Wishing you all the best, and the strength to get through it. You’ll be in my thoughts, man.

[Maxman]

On 9/4/2022 at 9:24 PM, BUM-KNEE said:

Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, the doc gave him a 1% chance of surviving it.

Im not sure what to do, Im just in a fog of depression now. I hate that he is laying there in a hospital bed suffering, and theres nothing I can do to help other than visiting and trying to find something to say to him. We were pretty close growing up and he taught me alot. I dont know what to say to him in the hospital, what the **** do you say in a situation like this? This is very hard to come to grips with, and I hate it. I ******* hate it.

I just had to vent a bit here, its one of the very few places I have to do so. 

Ah, so sorry.  There are no words, just spend time with him. Talk about the good times. Share memories. It will help you both. He knows you love him, telling him again though will help you both.

Prayers for him and your family!

[BUM-KNEE]

6 hours ago, Biggs said:

Don't know if he's lucid or fully medicated on Morphin.  If he's lucid and able get him out of bed and try and walk the hospital halls with him.  If he's on a drip they can be put on a mobile pole.  

Just getting him up and out of bed and moving will be good for him.  If he can walk next to you or holding your arm there's at least a sense of normalcy that will make the time together easier for both of you.

Really sorry it's tough stuff.   He's lucky to have such a great kid brother.

Hes maxed out on morphine, weighs less than 100 pounds now because hes not eating. They drained 4 quarts of fluid out of his stomach a couple days ago. It just fills back up.

Hes supposed to be released to go home tomorrow to live out his final days.  Theres nothing they can do, I talked to his doctor. 

Thanks again to my Jets breathren here, you guys kept my depression at bay.

[Nolder]

2 hours ago, BUM-KNEE said:

Hes maxed out on morphine, weighs less than 100 pounds now because hes not eating. They drained 4 quarts of fluid out of his stomach a couple days ago. It just fills back up.

Hes supposed to be released to go home tomorrow to live out his final days.  Theres nothing they can do, I talked to his doctor. 

Thanks again to my Jets breathren here, you guys kept my depression at bay.

Better to be home than a hospital. Very sorry to hear. Just spend as much time as you can while he's still here. Remind him of good times.

[freestater]

Sounds like you're already doing the best you can for him, BUM-KNEE. Spending time, telling him what he means to you and just showing him your love for him. Its such a difficult time, I'm really sorry you and your whole family have to go through this. 

[BUM-KNEE]

4 hours ago, freestater said:

Sounds like you're already doing the best you can for him, BUM-KNEE. Spending time, telling him what he means to you and just showing him your love for him. Its such a difficult time, I'm really sorry you and your whole family have to go through this. 

Yeah my Mom is 85 and she's beside herself with this. Hard to watch your Mom cry like that....