My Christmas Week Diary

[Lith]

Earlier this year, my dad passed away.  He and mom lived in South Florida.  After several months, mom decided to sell the house and move closer to my family in Illinois.  Around Thanksgiving, she gets an offer on house.  Yesterday was closing.  I flew down on Friday to help mom get ready for the move.  For stuff mom did not want to take, the plan was first - Estate Sale which took place a week ago; Habitat for Humanity would accept donation of furntiure and kitchen items that did not sell.  Then 1 800 Got Junk would get rid of anytning we could not sell or donate. 

Not sure anyone is actually gonna read this thread, but I need to vent.  So here goes.

Friday December 23:  Arrive in South Florida. Despite major storm. in the midwest, and dozens of flight cancellations, I somehow got out about an hour late, but that was as good as I could expect.  And probably the only thing that went well over the past 6 days.  I get to mom's house around 11PM.  I had asked her to make sure she has plenty of boxes, tape, bubble wrap, newspapers or some other type of packing paper.  I look around the house and see nothing.  She tells me she has boxes and newspaper in the garage.  OK.  I head into the garage and see boxes.  3 of them.  Her friend Myrna went to buy boxes for her during the week at the UPS Store and thought they were too expensive, so she didn't buy any.  Instead, she asked friends if they had any boxes lying around.  She got 3,  I have to pack up an entire 3 bedroom house.  In two days.  And I have 3 boxes.  Next two days are Christmas Eve and Chrstmas Day.  I have to figure out where to get packing materal and pack up a house.  And the next two days are holidays.

Saturday December 24: Have to find boxes and packing supplies.  There is a UHaul store nearby.  I drive over there.  Store is closed, but I see a woman inside.  I knock on the door.  She tells me they are closed and she was just there to pick something up for a customer.  I explain the situation and she lets me in and agrees to sell me boxes.  She was a life saver.  25 boxes in the trunk, but htey have no packing supplies so I head over to UPS, they are open until 3PM, They have no packing paper, but I buy bubble wrap from them.  Then head out to buy newspapers -- which is not nearly as easy as it used to be.  3 stops Bought 12 papers.  Cost me over $40 for 12 freakin newspapers.  After losing almost half a day trying to scrounge supplies, I get back to mom's house and spend the rest of the day packing while mom runs to Target to try to find more packing supplies.  End of the day I have about 30 boxes packed and stacked up along her living room wall.

Sunday, December 25:  Garbage day.  Dad was a pack rat.  Kept every piece of paper since the 90s.  Two file cabinets, couple of dozen binders in storage units in the garage.  Desk drawers full of papers.  Storage boxes with papers.  Paper everywhere.  Paid bills, receipts for stuff they bought 20 years ago.  Closing papers for houses they sold in the 90s.  Decades of bank statements and otehr financial records, Hand written notes.  Birthday cards.  Anniversary cards.  Mom did not want to go through them until I got there - she would not know waht to keep.  I have one day to figure out what needs to be kept and what is garbage -- a lot of files that should have been shredded, but mom's shredder sold in the Estate sale, and it would not have mattered as there was no time to shred everything.  Just get them in trash bags and leave them in the garage for the junk guys who were coming Tuesday.

Monday December 26.  Donation Day.  Habitat for Humanity shows up and refuses to take the king size bed. Or the queen size bed.  Or the couch. Or the love seat. Or the office furntiure.  Or the bookcases.  If they don't think it can sell at their thrift shop, they don't take it.  I had provided a list of items to dispatch.  You would think they would tell me what they could accept or not, at least give me some sort of guidance.  They did take boxed ktichen stuff and some furniture: dressers, end tables, lamps, artwork, etc.  But the house is selling in about 36 hours and I still have a house full of sh*t.  I call Got Junk and let them know we have a ton of stuff.  Way more than I expected.  Our cousin suggests burning the mattresses and the wood furniture.  I am not sure if he is joking.  If all else fails, I guess it is an option, albeit not a very good one.

Tuesday December 27. Moving day. 1 800 Got Junk shows up bright and early.  Two of the nicest guys you could ever meet.  I could have done without the visuals of the bigger guys butt crack, but aside from that, they were great.  They worked hard.  Worked quickly.  If they came across anything in the junk piles they tought might have values sentimental or otherwise, they checked with us.  Filled up two trucks with stuff.  So sad to see a lifetime of accumulated personal items end up in the back of a Got Junk truck, but I didn't know of any other option.  Except maybe the bonfire.  The guys clean out the garage, the bags full with papers and all the donation items that were not taken.  Mover shows up just as the junk guys are leaving.  Mover packs up everything that is left and is done by 3PM.  30 minutes to spare.  House is completely empty, we do some light cleaning and we head out.  Buyer is doing her final walkthrough at 3:30. 

Mom and I get on the road and start the day and a half drive to Illinois.  About 15 miles oustide of Gainesville, traffic stops (why does it have to be Gainesville, I hate that f**kin place).  We sit on the road for about 2 hours.  Barely moving.  We eventuallly get to the burnt out hull of a tractor trailer with its load spread across the highway.  One lane open to get past the mess.  Get to our hotel in Georgia around midnight.  2 hours later than expected.

Wednesday December 28th. Travel day.  About 13 hours of driving ahead of us, at least that is what I thought..  Realtor confirms that the house sold.  We get through Atlanta late morning with little traffic, but run into another major accident just south of Chattanooga.  Finally get passed it and start mving until we get to Nashville.  Not quite as bad as Gainesville, but pretty bad.  A guy hit a deer.   During rush hour.  The guy seemed to fare pretty well, but I can't say the same for the deer, which was lying dead in the middle or the road.  Lost another hour.  Start moving again, but not for long.  Road closure due to construction.  GPS routed us aroound it, but more time lost to traffic.  Shortly thereafter we crossed into Kentucky and things opened up.  

The only positive sign out of all of this was early Wednesday evening as we crossed into Kentucky.  After the truck fire, deer collision and road closures.  We pass by Bowling Green, KY.  Home of Western Kentucky University.  Yup where Mike White played his college ball.  And all of a sudden the drive got easier.  Traffic eased and we made it home.  That has to have been some sort of sign.  Right?

Oh yeah, if you made it this far, Happy Holidays to my Jet Nation brothers and sisters.

 

 

[T0mShane]

I’ve had to do that packing up ritual myself and it’s so, so hard. Too many memories. And to have it complicated by the other stuff had to suck. Blessings to you, @Lith. Obviously, I’ve never met you, but I would guess that your calm, reasoned demeanor was just what the situation called for. Cheers to you, and happy holidays. 

[JiF]

1 hour ago, Lith said:

The only positive sign out of all of this was early Wednesday evening as we crossed into Kentucky.  After the truck fire, deer collision and road closures.  We pass by Bowling Green, KY.  Home of Western Kentucky University.  Yup where Mike White played his college ball.  And all of a sudden the drive got easier.  Traffic eased and we made it home.  That has to have been some sort of sign.  Right?

 

[JiF]

In a weird way, having to get dragged through it like that @Lith will probably make the heeling phases a little easier.  Peace and love to you and your family.  They're lucky to have you.

[southparkcpa]

@Lith  i gave you a smiley emoji.  But reality , my mom is in Tampa, a hoarder, no a REAL hoarder.  

Not looking forward to your ordeal but it is coming.   

Life.

[Lith]

58 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

I’ve had to do that packing up ritual myself and it’s so, so hard. Too many memories. And to have it complicated by the other stuff had to suck. Blessings to you, @Lith. Obviously, I’ve never met you, but I would guess that your calm, reasoned demeanor was just what the situation called for. Cheers to you, and happy holidays. 

Thanks, Tom.  That calm reasoned demeanor gets tested at times.  Just not here -- nothing we talk about here is worth getting too upset over.

Happy Hoidays to you and yours.

 

[derp]

First off, know it was earlier this year but sorry for your loss.

Though it sounds like an absolutely brutal week, I'm sure your mom was remarkably grateful for all the assistance and support you gave her. All the best to you and your family.

Hope you're able to enjoy this coming weekend a little more. I was rooting for Georgia anyway but I'll pull for them a bit extra after that story.

[Lith]

13 hours ago, JiFields said:

In a weird way, having to get dragged through it like that @Lith will probably make the heeling phases a little easier.  Peace and love to you and your family.  They're lucky to have you.

Thanks.  Special time for you -- enjoy this first Holiday with your little guy.  Happy Holidays to you and your growing family.

[Lith]

21 minutes ago, southparkcpa said:

@Lith  i gave you a smiley emoji.  But reality , my mom is in Tampa, a hoarder, no a REAL hoarder.  

Not looking forward to your ordeal but it is coming.   

Life.

Yup, its life.  As long as the good times outweigh the bad, you deal with it.  Now that mom is up in Illinois with me -- in a couple of weeks I will be taking her out to Iowa to meet her great grandaughter for the first time. 

That'll make this last week worthwhile.

 

 

[RutgersJetFan]

3 hours ago, Lith said:

She tells me she has boxes and newspaper in the garage.  OK.  I head into the garage and see boxes.  3 of them.  Her friend Myrna went to buy boxes for her during the week at the UPS Store and thought they were too expensive, so she didn't buy any.

I'm sorry for your loss but I legit lol'd at this because my mom would 100% do the same thing.

[playtowinthegame]

Thanks for sharing your story, Lith. I give you a lot of credit for pulling it all together at the last second. Your mom was blessed to have your help. Happy New Year's to you and your family.

[joewilly12]

I’m sorry....Lith ...... I have to pack up my home in 5 days due to divorce ... x wife looted the place walking out door leaving me a monumental mess ... lived there 26 years my life is there I’m struggling with few friends to help no family .... I can’t sleep eat I’m sick .... I have very limited space to put anything at my moms... don’t want to throw my life away but I may not have a choice... I’m crying night day depression is kicking my ass.... my garage shed is loaded with tools my walk in closet is loaded I dont know what to do .... 

[southparkcpa]

9 hours ago, Lith said:

Yup, its life.  As long as the good times outweigh the bad, you deal with it.  Now that mom is up in Illinois with me -- in a couple of weeks I will be taking her out to Iowa to meet her great grandaughter for the first time. 

That'll make this last week worthwhile.

 

 

My mom has no money but she has a small pension and social security and is fine.  Her tiny little 1200 sq foot  house in FLA has exploded to about 400K.  Me, brother and sis are fine financially and can see that next 2 years she’ll need to move to a more active/assisted community.  Best of luck to you!!!!!  GF’s daughter is a junior at OSU so I know were on different sides tomorrow.  👍

[Bugg]

When my father in law passed, same thing; total pack rat. Would not throw anything away. Was a total pain in the ass. My mom had her entire house burned down in Sandy, lost everything.  Built a brand new house, explained to her over and over the obsession with stuff is goddamn pointless and a burden when the time comes on her family. And yet she has gone right back to saving every scrap of useless f__ing paper she gets in the mail . Old people are so wedded to their sh!t no matter how much you explain it's all sh!t and worthless. 

[joewilly12]

I live with my 93 yr old mom she saves everything.....we have 5 vacuum cleaners only 1 works can’t throw the other 4 away ...., and the clothes OMG I will need a 30 yard dumpster here ...

[Lith]

2 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

My mom has no money but she has a small pension and social security and is fine.  Her tiny little 1200 sq foot  house in FLA has exploded to about 400K.  Me, brother and sis are fine financially and can see that next 2 years she’ll need to move to a more active/assisted community.  Best of luck to you!!!!!  GF’s daughter is a junior at OSU so I know were on different sides tomorrow.  👍

Good luck to you too, my friend.  Sounds like your mom has a great support system with you and your brother and sister.  No matter what the future may hold, hopefully the 3 of you will go through it together and support each other as well as mom.   Similar to you, I also had a real hoarder in the family, but that was on my wife's side and my bro-in-law took charge when the time came.  

In my case, mom had no money.  Dad left her with $60K credit card debt and $2,500 in the bank.  Thankfully much of the debt was just in dad's name so it died when he did.  I knew they were struggling financially, and had been helping them for several years, but I had no idea the extent of it.  Dad was too proud to let me know how bad it had gotten.  My sister is useless.  It was me and my uncle helping mom sort through the financial mess when dad passed.  As part of the move to Illinois, we found a place mom can afford on her social security, which is her only income.

I am not complaining.  My parents did so much for me that I am happy to help mom as much as I can.  It is tough to deal with at times, and I may need to vent, but I am happy to be able to help.

[Lith]

4 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

I’m sorry....Lith ...... I have to pack up my home in 5 days due to divorce ... x wife looted the place walking out door leaving me a monumental mess ... lived there 26 years my life is there I’m struggling with few friends to help no family .... I can’t sleep eat I’m sick .... I have very limited space to put anything at my moms... don’t want to throw my life away but I may not have a choice... I’m crying night day depression is kicking my ass.... my garage shed is loaded with tools my walk in closet is loaded I dont know what to do .... 

Thanks, Joe.  I hope someday you find some sort of peace and can move on with your life.  May be some tough times I have dealt with over the last several months, but I have it pretty good.  Hopefully you can move on after the divorce and rebuld your life.  Moving out of the house could be a first step to moving on.  Good luck!!

[joewilly12]

17 minutes ago, Lith said:

Thanks, Joe.  I hope someday you find some sort of peace and can move on with your life.  May be some tough times I have dealt with over the last several months, but I have it pretty good.  Hopefully you can move on after the divorce and rebuld your life.  Moving out of the house could be a first step to moving on.  Good luck!!

I’ve been out for 15 months she held my stuff out of revenge punishment ...for not obeying her and challenging her harassment of me .... sorry to hi-Jack your thread I’m done ... peace to you brother 

[TNJet]

17 hours ago, Lith said:

Earlier this year, my dad passed away.  He and mom lived in South Florida.  After several months, mom decided to sell the house and move closer to my family in Illinois.  Around Thanksgiving, she gets an offer on house.  Yesterday was closing.  I flew down on Friday to help mom get ready for the move.  For stuff mom did not want to take, the plan was first - Estate Sale which took place a week ago; Habitat for Humanity would accept donation of furntiure and kitchen items that did not sell.  Then 1 800 Got Junk would get rid of anytning we could not sell or donate. 

Not sure anyone is actually gonna read this thread, but I need to vent.  So here goes.

Friday December 23:  Arrive in South Florida. Despite major storm. in the midwest, and dozens of flight cancellations, I somehow got out about an hour late, but that was as good as I could expect.  And probably the only thing that went well over the past 6 days.  I get to mom's house around 11PM.  I had asked her to make sure she has plenty of boxes, tape, bubble wrap, newspapers or some other type of packing paper.  I look around the house and see nothing.  She tells me she has boxes and newspaper in the garage.  OK.  I head into the garage and see boxes.  3 of them.  Her friend Myrna went to buy boxes for her during the week at the UPS Store and thought they were too expensive, so she didn't buy any.  Instead, she asked friends if they had any boxes lying around.  She got 3,  I have to pack up an entire 3 bedroom house.  In two days.  And I have 3 boxes.  Next two days are Christmas Eve and Chrstmas Day.  I have to figure out where to get packing materal and pack up a house.  And the next two days are holidays.

Saturday December 24: Have to find boxes and packing supplies.  There is a UHaul store nearby.  I drive over there.  Store is closed, but I see a woman inside.  I knock on the door.  She tells me they are closed and she was just there to pick something up for a customer.  I explain the situation and she lets me in and agrees to sell me boxes.  She was a life saver.  25 boxes in the trunk, but htey have no packing supplies so I head over to UPS, they are open until 3PM, They have no packing paper, but I buy bubble wrap from them.  Then head out to buy newspapers -- which is not nearly as easy as it used to be.  3 stops Bought 12 papers.  Cost me over $40 for 12 freakin newspapers.  After losing almost half a day trying to scrounge supplies, I get back to mom's house and spend the rest of the day packing while mom runs to Target to try to find more packing supplies.  End of the day I have about 30 boxes packed and stacked up along her living room wall.

Sunday, December 25:  Garbage day.  Dad was a pack rat.  Kept every piece of paper since the 90s.  Two file cabinets, couple of dozen binders in storage units in the garage.  Desk drawers full of papers.  Storage boxes with papers.  Paper everywhere.  Paid bills, receipts for stuff they bought 20 years ago.  Closing papers for houses they sold in the 90s.  Decades of bank statements and otehr financial records, Hand written notes.  Birthday cards.  Anniversary cards.  Mom did not want to go through them until I got there - she would not know waht to keep.  I have one day to figure out what needs to be kept and what is garbage -- a lot of files that should have been shredded, but mom's shredder sold in the Estate sale, and it would not have mattered as there was no time to shred everything.  Just get them in trash bags and leave them in the garage for the junk guys who were coming Tuesday.

Monday December 26.  Donation Day.  Habitat for Humanity shows up and refuses to take the king size bed. Or the queen size bed.  Or the couch. Or the love seat. Or the office furntiure.  Or the bookcases.  If they don't think it can sell at their thrift shop, they don't take it.  I had provided a list of items to dispatch.  You would think they would tell me what they could accept or not, at least give me some sort of guidance.  They did take boxed ktichen stuff and some furniture: dressers, end tables, lamps, artwork, etc.  But the house is selling in about 36 hours and I still have a house full of sh*t.  I call Got Junk and let them know we have a ton of stuff.  Way more than I expected.  Our cousin suggests burning the mattresses and the wood furniture.  I am not sure if he is joking.  If all else fails, I guess it is an option, albeit not a very good one.

Tuesday December 27. Moving day. 1 800 Got Junk shows up bright and early.  Two of the nicest guys you could ever meet.  I could have done without the visuals of the bigger guys butt crack, but aside from that, they were great.  They worked hard.  Worked quickly.  If they came across anything in the junk piles they tought might have values sentimental or otherwise, they checked with us.  Filled up two trucks with stuff.  So sad to see a lifetime of accumulated personal items end up in the back of a Got Junk truck, but I didn't know of any other option.  Except maybe the bonfire.  The guys clean out the garage, the bags full with papers and all the donation items that were not taken.  Mover shows up just as the junk guys are leaving.  Mover packs up everything that is left and is done by 3PM.  30 minutes to spare.  House is completely empty, we do some light cleaning and we head out.  Buyer is doing her final walkthrough at 3:30. 

Mom and I get on the road and start the day and a half drive to Illinois.  About 15 miles oustide of Gainesville, traffic stops (why does it have to be Gainesville, I hate that f**kin place).  We sit on the road for about 2 hours.  Barely moving.  We eventuallly get to the burnt out hull of a tractor trailer with its load spread across the highway.  One lane open to get past the mess.  Get to our hotel in Georgia around midnight.  2 hours later than expected.

Wednesday December 28th. Travel day.  About 13 hours of driving ahead of us, at least that is what I thought..  Realtor confirms that the house sold.  We get through Atlanta late morning with little traffic, but run into another major accident just south of Chattanooga.  Finally get passed it and start mving until we get to Nashville.  Not quite as bad as Gainesville, but pretty bad.  A guy hit a deer.   During rush hour.  The guy seemed to fare pretty well, but I can't say the same for the deer, which was lying dead in the middle or the road.  Lost another hour.  Start moving again, but not for long.  Road closure due to construction.  GPS routed us aroound it, but more time lost to traffic.  Shortly thereafter we crossed into Kentucky and things opened up.  

The only positive sign out of all of this was early Wednesday evening as we crossed into Kentucky.  After the truck fire, deer collision and road closures.  We pass by Bowling Green, KY.  Home of Western Kentucky University.  Yup where Mike White played his college ball.  And all of a sudden the drive got easier.  Traffic eased and we made it home.  That has to have been some sort of sign.  Right?

Oh yeah, if you made it this far, Happy Holidays to my Jet Nation brothers and sisters.

 

 

Wow I read it all. Happy Holidays brother we've all been there. BTW I was on the side of the road when you passed the TN state line waving at you. The MW luck is a sign we get into the playoffs for a Happy New York Jet Year!

[TNJet]

1 hour ago, joewilly12 said:

I’ve been out for 15 months she held my stuff out of revenge punishment ...for not obeying her and challenging her harassment of me .... sorry to hi-Jack your thread I’m done ... peace to you brother 

Where are you located? I'll fly to you and take you to the strip clubs for a 3 day drunken hiatus.

[TNJet]

2 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

I live with my 93 yr old mom she saves everything.....we have 5 vacuum cleaners only 1 works can’t throw the other 4 away ...., and the clothes OMG I will need a 30 yard dumpster here ...

Lol the clothes thing sounds like my current wife every door I open has her clothes hanging in them. Its a tad annoying. She needs to sort through a few hundred shirts and send them to goodwill. Geez what a mess.

[joewilly12]

1 hour ago, TNJet said:

Where are you located? I'll fly to you and take you to the strip clubs for a 3 day drunken hiatus.

New Jersey 

[Lith]

3 hours ago, TNJet said:

Wow I read it all. Happy Holidays brother we've all been there. BTW I was on the side of the road when you passed the TN state line waving at you. The MW luck is a sign we get into the playoffs for a Happy New York Jet Year!

Were you the guy who hit the deer near Nashville?

[win4ever]

Sorry to hear about your dad, that's always tough to lose a parent.  Hope your mom is coping well.  

I recently moved from Nashville to Atlanta, and packing is just so god damn terrible.  I had a two bedroom apartment, and ended up throwing I would say at least 60-70 full size garbage bags in the trash.  At first, I was real careful about what could go in there, but after bag 30, rules were lax about pots/pans and what not.  I had junk removal take a couch, a love seat, an ottoman, and comfortable but ugly rocking chair (it was like a recliner that swivels), coffee table, end tables, book cases, lamps, and some random boxes.  I donated a bunch of clothes to goodwill.  

I still couldn't fit everything in a 20 ft U-Haul truck.  It was the second biggest truck they had, and I thought I was being safe.  Nope.  No idea I had this much stuff in such a small space.  

Packing was just exhausting, I can still hear the packing tape gun noise in my sleep.  

[32EBoozer]

6 hours ago, Bugg said:

When my father in law passed, same thing; total pack rat. Would not throw anything away. Was a total pain in the ass.

This brought back lots of memories when my Dad passed. We were throwing out tons of old paperwork until we stumbled across a $10,000 Treasury Bond stuffed in a drawer with other papers. Needless to say all trash removal ceased and I did some dumpster diving to grab some of the other bags disposed of previously. A more thorough review was done but other than a $250 savings bond was found. He took care of us nicely… traveled the world and married his high school sweetheart. I hope my kids think of me as I did my Dad. 
Reading @Lith & @Jet_Engine1 description of their father’s brought back a lot of fond memories of when Dad passed in 2001 shortly after my twins were born.

21 hours ago, Lith said:

Garbage day.  Dad was a pack rat.  Kept every piece of paper since the 90s.  Two file cabinets, couple of dozen binders in storage units in the garage.  Desk drawers full of papers.  Storage boxes with papers.  Paper everywhere.  Paid bills, receipts for stuff they bought 20 years ago.  Closing papers for houses they sold in the 90s.  Decades of bank statements and otehr financial records, Hand written notes.  Birthday cards.  Anniversary cards.

 

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

22 hours ago, Lith said:

Earlier this year, my dad passed away.  He and mom lived in South Florida.  After several months, mom decided to sell the house and move closer to my family in Illinois.  Around Thanksgiving, she gets an offer on house.  Yesterday was closing.  I flew down on Friday to help mom get ready for the move.  For stuff mom did not want to take, the plan was first - Estate Sale which took place a week ago; Habitat for Humanity would accept donation of furntiure and kitchen items that did not sell.  Then 1 800 Got Junk would get rid of anytning we could not sell or donate. 

Not sure anyone is actually gonna read this thread, but I need to vent.  So here goes.

Friday December 23:  Arrive in South Florida. Despite major storm. in the midwest, and dozens of flight cancellations, I somehow got out about an hour late, but that was as good as I could expect.  And probably the only thing that went well over the past 6 days.  I get to mom's house around 11PM.  I had asked her to make sure she has plenty of boxes, tape, bubble wrap, newspapers or some other type of packing paper.  I look around the house and see nothing.  She tells me she has boxes and newspaper in the garage.  OK.  I head into the garage and see boxes.  3 of them.  Her friend Myrna went to buy boxes for her during the week at the UPS Store and thought they were too expensive, so she didn't buy any.  Instead, she asked friends if they had any boxes lying around.  She got 3,  I have to pack up an entire 3 bedroom house.  In two days.  And I have 3 boxes.  Next two days are Christmas Eve and Chrstmas Day.  I have to figure out where to get packing materal and pack up a house.  And the next two days are holidays.

Saturday December 24: Have to find boxes and packing supplies.  There is a UHaul store nearby.  I drive over there.  Store is closed, but I see a woman inside.  I knock on the door.  She tells me they are closed and she was just there to pick something up for a customer.  I explain the situation and she lets me in and agrees to sell me boxes.  She was a life saver.  25 boxes in the trunk, but htey have no packing supplies so I head over to UPS, they are open until 3PM, They have no packing paper, but I buy bubble wrap from them.  Then head out to buy newspapers -- which is not nearly as easy as it used to be.  3 stops Bought 12 papers.  Cost me over $40 for 12 freakin newspapers.  After losing almost half a day trying to scrounge supplies, I get back to mom's house and spend the rest of the day packing while mom runs to Target to try to find more packing supplies.  End of the day I have about 30 boxes packed and stacked up along her living room wall.

Sunday, December 25:  Garbage day.  Dad was a pack rat.  Kept every piece of paper since the 90s.  Two file cabinets, couple of dozen binders in storage units in the garage.  Desk drawers full of papers.  Storage boxes with papers.  Paper everywhere.  Paid bills, receipts for stuff they bought 20 years ago.  Closing papers for houses they sold in the 90s.  Decades of bank statements and otehr financial records, Hand written notes.  Birthday cards.  Anniversary cards.  Mom did not want to go through them until I got there - she would not know waht to keep.  I have one day to figure out what needs to be kept and what is garbage -- a lot of files that should have been shredded, but mom's shredder sold in the Estate sale, and it would not have mattered as there was no time to shred everything.  Just get them in trash bags and leave them in the garage for the junk guys who were coming Tuesday.

Monday December 26.  Donation Day.  Habitat for Humanity shows up and refuses to take the king size bed. Or the queen size bed.  Or the couch. Or the love seat. Or the office furntiure.  Or the bookcases.  If they don't think it can sell at their thrift shop, they don't take it.  I had provided a list of items to dispatch.  You would think they would tell me what they could accept or not, at least give me some sort of guidance.  They did take boxed ktichen stuff and some furniture: dressers, end tables, lamps, artwork, etc.  But the house is selling in about 36 hours and I still have a house full of sh*t.  I call Got Junk and let them know we have a ton of stuff.  Way more than I expected.  Our cousin suggests burning the mattresses and the wood furniture.  I am not sure if he is joking.  If all else fails, I guess it is an option, albeit not a very good one.

Tuesday December 27. Moving day. 1 800 Got Junk shows up bright and early.  Two of the nicest guys you could ever meet.  I could have done without the visuals of the bigger guys butt crack, but aside from that, they were great.  They worked hard.  Worked quickly.  If they came across anything in the junk piles they tought might have values sentimental or otherwise, they checked with us.  Filled up two trucks with stuff.  So sad to see a lifetime of accumulated personal items end up in the back of a Got Junk truck, but I didn't know of any other option.  Except maybe the bonfire.  The guys clean out the garage, the bags full with papers and all the donation items that were not taken.  Mover shows up just as the junk guys are leaving.  Mover packs up everything that is left and is done by 3PM.  30 minutes to spare.  House is completely empty, we do some light cleaning and we head out.  Buyer is doing her final walkthrough at 3:30. 

Mom and I get on the road and start the day and a half drive to Illinois.  About 15 miles oustide of Gainesville, traffic stops (why does it have to be Gainesville, I hate that f**kin place).  We sit on the road for about 2 hours.  Barely moving.  We eventuallly get to the burnt out hull of a tractor trailer with its load spread across the highway.  One lane open to get past the mess.  Get to our hotel in Georgia around midnight.  2 hours later than expected.

Wednesday December 28th. Travel day.  About 13 hours of driving ahead of us, at least that is what I thought..  Realtor confirms that the house sold.  We get through Atlanta late morning with little traffic, but run into another major accident just south of Chattanooga.  Finally get passed it and start mving until we get to Nashville.  Not quite as bad as Gainesville, but pretty bad.  A guy hit a deer.   During rush hour.  The guy seemed to fare pretty well, but I can't say the same for the deer, which was lying dead in the middle or the road.  Lost another hour.  Start moving again, but not for long.  Road closure due to construction.  GPS routed us aroound it, but more time lost to traffic.  Shortly thereafter we crossed into Kentucky and things opened up.  

The only positive sign out of all of this was early Wednesday evening as we crossed into Kentucky.  After the truck fire, deer collision and road closures.  We pass by Bowling Green, KY.  Home of Western Kentucky University.  Yup where Mike White played his college ball.  And all of a sudden the drive got easier.  Traffic eased and we made it home.  That has to have been some sort of sign.  Right?

Oh yeah, if you made it this far, Happy Holidays to my Jet Nation brothers and sisters.

 

 

Mike EFFIN White ; what an omen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TNJet]

2 hours ago, Lith said:

Were you the guy who hit the deer near Nashville?

Haha yeah, I was in my v8 Tundra...it shredded that deer.

[Jet_Engine1]

On 12/29/2022 at 6:17 PM, Lith said:

Earlier this year, my dad passed away.  He and mom lived in South Florida.  After several months, mom decided to sell the house and move closer to my family in Illinois.  Around Thanksgiving, she gets an offer on house.  Yesterday was closing.  I flew down on Friday to help mom get ready for the move.  For stuff mom did not want to take, the plan was first - Estate Sale which took place a week ago; Habitat for Humanity would accept donation of furntiure and kitchen items that did not sell.  Then 1 800 Got Junk would get rid of anytning we could not sell or donate. 

Not sure anyone is actually gonna read this thread, but I need to vent.  So here goes.

Friday December 23:  Arrive in South Florida. Despite major storm. in the midwest, and dozens of flight cancellations, I somehow got out about an hour late, but that was as good as I could expect.  And probably the only thing that went well over the past 6 days.  I get to mom's house around 11PM.  I had asked her to make sure she has plenty of boxes, tape, bubble wrap, newspapers or some other type of packing paper.  I look around the house and see nothing.  She tells me she has boxes and newspaper in the garage.  OK.  I head into the garage and see boxes.  3 of them.  Her friend Myrna went to buy boxes for her during the week at the UPS Store and thought they were too expensive, so she didn't buy any.  Instead, she asked friends if they had any boxes lying around.  She got 3,  I have to pack up an entire 3 bedroom house.  In two days.  And I have 3 boxes.  Next two days are Christmas Eve and Chrstmas Day.  I have to figure out where to get packing materal and pack up a house.  And the next two days are holidays.

Saturday December 24: Have to find boxes and packing supplies.  There is a UHaul store nearby.  I drive over there.  Store is closed, but I see a woman inside.  I knock on the door.  She tells me they are closed and she was just there to pick something up for a customer.  I explain the situation and she lets me in and agrees to sell me boxes.  She was a life saver.  25 boxes in the trunk, but htey have no packing supplies so I head over to UPS, they are open until 3PM, They have no packing paper, but I buy bubble wrap from them.  Then head out to buy newspapers -- which is not nearly as easy as it used to be.  3 stops Bought 12 papers.  Cost me over $40 for 12 freakin newspapers.  After losing almost half a day trying to scrounge supplies, I get back to mom's house and spend the rest of the day packing while mom runs to Target to try to find more packing supplies.  End of the day I have about 30 boxes packed and stacked up along her living room wall.

Sunday, December 25:  Garbage day.  Dad was a pack rat.  Kept every piece of paper since the 90s.  Two file cabinets, couple of dozen binders in storage units in the garage.  Desk drawers full of papers.  Storage boxes with papers.  Paper everywhere.  Paid bills, receipts for stuff they bought 20 years ago.  Closing papers for houses they sold in the 90s.  Decades of bank statements and otehr financial records, Hand written notes.  Birthday cards.  Anniversary cards.  Mom did not want to go through them until I got there - she would not know waht to keep.  I have one day to figure out what needs to be kept and what is garbage -- a lot of files that should have been shredded, but mom's shredder sold in the Estate sale, and it would not have mattered as there was no time to shred everything.  Just get them in trash bags and leave them in the garage for the junk guys who were coming Tuesday.

Monday December 26.  Donation Day.  Habitat for Humanity shows up and refuses to take the king size bed. Or the queen size bed.  Or the couch. Or the love seat. Or the office furntiure.  Or the bookcases.  If they don't think it can sell at their thrift shop, they don't take it.  I had provided a list of items to dispatch.  You would think they would tell me what they could accept or not, at least give me some sort of guidance.  They did take boxed ktichen stuff and some furniture: dressers, end tables, lamps, artwork, etc.  But the house is selling in about 36 hours and I still have a house full of sh*t.  I call Got Junk and let them know we have a ton of stuff.  Way more than I expected.  Our cousin suggests burning the mattresses and the wood furniture.  I am not sure if he is joking.  If all else fails, I guess it is an option, albeit not a very good one.

Tuesday December 27. Moving day. 1 800 Got Junk shows up bright and early.  Two of the nicest guys you could ever meet.  I could have done without the visuals of the bigger guys butt crack, but aside from that, they were great.  They worked hard.  Worked quickly.  If they came across anything in the junk piles they tought might have values sentimental or otherwise, they checked with us.  Filled up two trucks with stuff.  So sad to see a lifetime of accumulated personal items end up in the back of a Got Junk truck, but I didn't know of any other option.  Except maybe the bonfire.  The guys clean out the garage, the bags full with papers and all the donation items that were not taken.  Mover shows up just as the junk guys are leaving.  Mover packs up everything that is left and is done by 3PM.  30 minutes to spare.  House is completely empty, we do some light cleaning and we head out.  Buyer is doing her final walkthrough at 3:30. 

Mom and I get on the road and start the day and a half drive to Illinois.  About 15 miles oustide of Gainesville, traffic stops (why does it have to be Gainesville, I hate that f**kin place).  We sit on the road for about 2 hours.  Barely moving.  We eventuallly get to the burnt out hull of a tractor trailer with its load spread across the highway.  One lane open to get past the mess.  Get to our hotel in Georgia around midnight.  2 hours later than expected.

Wednesday December 28th. Travel day.  About 13 hours of driving ahead of us, at least that is what I thought..  Realtor confirms that the house sold.  We get through Atlanta late morning with little traffic, but run into another major accident just south of Chattanooga.  Finally get passed it and start mving until we get to Nashville.  Not quite as bad as Gainesville, but pretty bad.  A guy hit a deer.   During rush hour.  The guy seemed to fare pretty well, but I can't say the same for the deer, which was lying dead in the middle or the road.  Lost another hour.  Start moving again, but not for long.  Road closure due to construction.  GPS routed us aroound it, but more time lost to traffic.  Shortly thereafter we crossed into Kentucky and things opened up.  

The only positive sign out of all of this was early Wednesday evening as we crossed into Kentucky.  After the truck fire, deer collision and road closures.  We pass by Bowling Green, KY.  Home of Western Kentucky University.  Yup where Mike White played his college ball.  And all of a sudden the drive got easier.  Traffic eased and we made it home.  That has to have been some sort of sign.  Right?

Oh yeah, if you made it this far, Happy Holidays to my Jet Nation brothers and sisters.

 

 

Get out of my head! 😆 

 

You describe my Mom exactly. She still gets paper bills and statements and sends checks via USPS like it's 1978. Refuses to have any online logins or anything.  I have no idea how they handle banking stuff the last 20 years. Mom keeps EVERYTHING. The old house Mom and Dad bought in 1974 is full of everything that has ever entered it. I found a certificate In received in Kindergarten for "Mastering the Alphabet". I am NOT kidding. There has got to be 20,000 pictures in the house. Open any drawer in the house, and you will find photos. Of who? Anyone and everyone.  I have no idea. Mom is a hoarder, and Dad endured it.  I begged them to sell 5 years ago when Dad was first rediagnosed.... they have a big 2 story Mission style house built in 1920 jn the Historic Northwest Area of WPB, houses there are going for top dollar for years, but Mom refused. They could have sold, cleared $600k+, and enjoyed a stress free time traveling and cruising with the Grandkids. Instead, the house my brother and I grew up in is now just the building Dad died in. Mike can't even handle going there anymore.  

The garage is full,  the closets are stuffed, and now my mom could probably clear $1M+, get a reasonable 1 floor place with no bathtub, pool, yard, etc., and allow me to live without worrying about her constantly...but now she's worried about the clowder of stray cats she feeds. Insanity. 

 

I was offered a Fire Marshal position today by Cocoa FD, and I'm going to take it, so I can divest myself of West Palm and also motivate my mom to sell the damn place. We shall see.

 

Great stuff, Lith. Good job handling things. Your Dad would be pleased.

[Lith]

41 minutes ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

You describe my Mom exactly. She still gets paper bills and statements and sends checks via USPS like it's 1978. Refuses to have any online logins or anything.  I have no idea how they handle banking stuff the last 20 years. Mom keeps EVERYTHING. The old house Mom and Dad bought in 1974 is full of everything that has ever entered it. I found a certificate In received in Kindergarten for "Mastering the Alphabet". I am NOT kidding. There has got to be 20,000 pictures in the house. Open any drawer in the house, and you will find photos. Of who? Anyone and everyone.  I have no idea. Mom is a hoarder, and Dad endured it.  I begged them to sell 5 years ago when Dad was first rediagnosed.... they have a big 2 story Mission style house built in 1920 jn the Historic Northwest Area of WPB, houses there are going for top dollar for years, but Mom refused. They could have sold, cleared $600k+, and enjoyed a stress free time traveling and cruising with the Grandkids. Instead, the house my brother and I grew up in is now just the building Dad died in. Mike can't even handle going there anymore. 

I wish dad had just gotten paper bills. He did everything for mom -- paid all the bills and did all the banking online.  He passed so quickly that we didn't have time to go through everything with him.  After he passed, I made a couple of payments and later found out that dad set up automatic payments.  Some bills got paid twice.  I am on my parents bank account, but if dad set up an automatic payment, only he could cancel it - at least until I produced a copy of the death certficate (original not pdf copy).  I had to log on to Chase.com every morning to see what may have come out of the account.  Others got missed because they went to dad's email and I did not have his ID or password.  Paper invoices would have made life easier.

Passing of a loved one is difficult enough to deal with, but all the other stuff that goes with it makes it that much tougher.

As to your mom, give her time.  She may come to the realization that she should sell, but right now she probably is not ready to make major decisions about what comes next in life.  Took my mom about 6 months to realize that she wanted to leave Florida and be in Illinois.  It takes time.

 

[Biggs]

It didn't feel like a vent.  It felt like a son taking care of his mother out of obligation and done with good humor and love.   Happy New Year!  Best to you and your mom!

 

[Bugg]

On 12/30/2022 at 4:46 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

Get out of my head! 😆 

 

You describe my Mom exactly. She still gets paper bills and statements and sends checks via USPS like it's 1978. Refuses to have any online logins or anything.  I have no idea how they handle banking stuff the last 20 years. Mom keeps EVERYTHING. The old house Mom and Dad bought in 1974 is full of everything that has ever entered it. I found a certificate In received in Kindergarten for "Mastering the Alphabet". I am NOT kidding. There has got to be 20,000 pictures in the house. Open any drawer in the house, and you will find photos. Of who? Anyone and everyone.  I have no idea. Mom is a hoarder, and Dad endured it.  I begged them to sell 5 years ago when Dad was first rediagnosed.... they have a big 2 story Mission style house built in 1920 jn the Historic Northwest Area of WPB, houses there are going for top dollar for years, but Mom refused. They could have sold, cleared $600k+, and enjoyed a stress free time traveling and cruising with the Grandkids. Instead, the house my brother and I grew up in is now just the building Dad died in. Mike can't even handle going there anymore.  

The garage is full,  the closets are stuffed, and now my mom could probably clear $1M+, get a reasonable 1 floor place with no bathtub, pool, yard, etc., and allow me to live without worrying about her constantly...but now she's worried about the clowder of stray cats she feeds. Insanity. 

 

I was offered a Fire Marshal position today by Cocoa FD, and I'm going to take it, so I can divest myself of West Palm and also motivate my mom to sell the damn place. We shall see.

 

Great stuff, Lith. Good job handling things. Your Dad would be pleased.

TRIED to explain; we'll put everything auto pay on a credit card. She would get points. We could sit down once every other week and go thru the bills. Mom refused. Explained then, do not ask for help trying to find a $5 error in your bank balance, because we could addresss this AND get free money. Nope. Again; lost everything she owned in a hurricane, so she knows all this paper is a worthless waste of time and space.  Says it's about control, but really it's way more sensible. Alas, not happening. 

[Maxman]

@Lith I am so sorry, I just saw this thread now. Man that is rough, beyond rough. Terrible having no time to go through that stuff. Definitely would have been nice to just pack and not have that extra stress.

I am glad everything worked out in the end. But that is no way to spend time around Christmas!

Things going well after your Mom's move?

[Maxman]

On 12/30/2022 at 9:34 AM, Lith said:

Good luck to you too, my friend.  Sounds like your mom has a great support system with you and your brother and sister.  No matter what the future may hold, hopefully the 3 of you will go through it together and support each other as well as mom.   Similar to you, I also had a real hoarder in the family, but that was on my wife's side and my bro-in-law took charge when the time came.  

In my case, mom had no money.  Dad left her with $60K credit card debt and $2,500 in the bank.  Thankfully much of the debt was just in dad's name so it died when he did.  I knew they were struggling financially, and had been helping them for several years, but I had no idea the extent of it.  Dad was too proud to let me know how bad it had gotten.  My sister is useless.  It was me and my uncle helping mom sort through the financial mess when dad passed.  As part of the move to Illinois, we found a place mom can afford on her social security, which is her only income.

I am not complaining.  My parents did so much for me that I am happy to help mom as much as I can.  It is tough to deal with at times, and I may need to vent, but I am happy to be able to help.

This is definitely not a vent. You are a great dude and real life hits hard at times. That is a lot of stress.  Good to hear that a lot of the debt was in his name only.

[batman10023]

On 12/30/2022 at 8:59 AM, Bugg said:

When my father in law passed, same thing; total pack rat. Would not throw anything away. Was a total pain in the ass. My mom had her entire house burned down in Sandy, lost everything.  Built a brand new house, explained to her over and over the obsession with stuff is goddamn pointless and a burden when the time comes on her family. And yet she has gone right back to saving every scrap of useless f__ing paper she gets in the mail . Old people are so wedded to their sh!t no matter how much you explain it's all sh!t and worthless. 

My parents are pretty good about throwing stuff away.    Seems like the basement is never filled anymore.  Wasn’t always this way. 

[batman10023]

On 12/30/2022 at 9:08 AM, joewilly12 said:

I live with my 93 yr old mom she saves everything.....we have 5 vacuum cleaners only 1 works can’t throw the other 4 away ...., and the clothes OMG I will need a 30 yard dumpster here ...

Would she notice a couple getting thrown away?