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Things to Never Say to an Eagles Fan


Jetsfan80

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https://www.theonion.com/things-to-never-say-to-an-eagles-fan-1850090443?fbclid=IwAR3eLT8Tr6Q1QTDeJ6Q3axPORZj2gQ_9HKiaci1q0x67wE-i4B3UWP8Bw4E

 

Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

 
PublishedYesterday
 
 

If you’ve ever had the misfortune of being acquainted with a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan, then you know that it is highly inadvisable to say any of the following things.

 

“Stop, you’re destroying my store!”
 

Once Eagles fans have started vandalizing property, it’s best to evacuate to safety.

 

“You can’t park here, this is my living room.”
 

Sounds like loser talk.
 

 

“I can DD tonight.”
 

No need. They’re fine with drinking and driving.
 

 

“Please stop hitting me.”
 

You asked for it now, jabroni!
 

 

“I bet you can’t turn over my car and set it on fire.”
 

This is exactly how you get your car to be turned over and set on fire.
 

 

“Good game.”

 

Sportsmanship is seen as a sign of weakness in Philadelphia.

 

“Free drinks on the house!”
 

This will not end well.

 

“Your secondary doesn’t have the hybrid skillsets required to counter the Chief’s 12 and 13 personnel RPO scheme.”
 

Football analysis that doesn’t center around “grit” and “winning mentality” will surely send any Eagles fan into a rage.

 

“No one on the Eagles is good enough to get a concussion.”
 

Heavily-concussed Eagles fans would beg to differ.

 

“Do you murder the other teams’ fans before or after the game?”
 

They like to keep it a surprise.

 

“Sport is a sociocultural placeholder for the tribalistic catharsis that globalization has taken from us.”
 

Well look at la-di-da Mr. Ivy League over here talking about a globalization jawn.

 

 

“Regardless of who wins, I’m just happy to watch the game with you.”
 

Pu$$y!

 

“Win or lose, you’ll still be living in Philly when the Super Bowl’s over.”

 

Best not to remind them.

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