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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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SJ --- what are your thoughts on breakfast sandwiches (from On The Run, Wawa, 7-11, etc.) and a coffee in the morning.

I've had some great times before lunch... yikes. Deadly.

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he's not a breakfast guy. in philly, the way to go is a sausage, eggs, cheese and hot sauce hoagie from a street vendor. don't even need the elevator to get to my office on the 26th floor after one of those.

With HOT SAUCE? That's ridiculous. Your stuff is so active in the morning you're just asking for it! lol

PS-- you know what I've liked about Philly for the last 2 years.. they actually KNOW what taylor ham is!!!

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if it's edible, philly knows about it. go down to the italian market next time you're in down, fresh canolis are sold next door to places with live rabbits in cages. philly is a fat ass' paradise. they actually boo me when i'm out for a run.

that reminds me, what's your cheesesteak fancy?

I'm partial to Pat's myself... with Jim's a not to distant second. i HATE geno's though.

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PAT's is first. everything else is... not pats. next time at jim's go extra whiz, compensates for their drier meat. i eat at jim's a lot-- i live 5 blocks from there in society hill.

edit: the jim's record was just broken a couple weeks ago. i think it's 13 or 14 in 90 minutes now.

Holy F. That's gross. 2 cheesesteaks from Pat's and I'm NASCAR-ing my way home.

Still maintain that Geno's is garbage though

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Think of this and i am sure you will all agree that the oderless smoke is 10 times worse.

We have all been in the presence of some nasty bastid who let a stinker out in public. Now, you may have been grossed out by the smell, but i doubt anyone actually thinks about the fact that they are breathing in air polluted with some guys feces particulate. Now, if you could actually see the cloud of gas, then you would totally be thinking about the fact that you are breathing in someone's s##t-dust. I will take the nasty-yet-invisible any day over seeing what foulness i am breathing in.

So is ignorance bliss? You're gonna be breathing in the farts either way. Also, when clothed, how much of this smoke actually makes it out into the atmosphere??

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definitely a sliding scale. if the act is terrible enough, a one time transgrsssion can get your the moniker. if it's minor stuff, barfight, shoplifting, you probably need to show that you didn't learn from your mistake and you keep messing up before you get splashed with turd. one thing is for certain though-- while it may be hard to become a turd, once you have the stink on you it's pretty hard to wash out.

Question:

Do farts have lumps?

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This should be a thread that requires subscriptions, and only the most prestigious should be allowed to apply

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Max mustve merged the threads the wrong way... he was supposed to have the turd thread absorb the sooth thread, not vice versa...

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went to take a leak, let out a long, slow whining fart at the urinal. thought i was alone until the stall door opened. one of the biggest rainmakers in my firm. said "hey jgb, next time you have to do that, do me a favor and check for my cole haan loafers under the stall door first."

:rl: :rl: :rl:

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are you a night pooper or day pooper? usually, i'm a morning dumper. i like to shove a man overboard before my morning shower. but how do you handle the random late evening dump? if you take the night dump, you're stuck in a late night cycle for a few days and when i squat in the AM and nothing comes out, my day just doesn't feel right. sometimes, if the urge to dump late at night is minimal to moderate, i will "save it" for the AM to assure myself the opportunity to clear my torpedo tube at 7am. thoughts?

How about neither? I'm usually a mid to late afternoon dumper.

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you only play away games??

Not really... while I do have a stellar track record on the road, I usually play my games around 4-6 PM... after class or after work.

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danger zone, what happens if you want to get a drink with friends after work? i bet you end up playing on a lot of unfamiliar courts.

Drinks don't do much to me. I guess I still have a young digestive system.

I don't normally get caught in rough matches on the road.

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mods-- can we please have the thread title changed to "The Turd Thread" no need for the official title and the colloqial designation to be different. everyone calls it the turd thread anyway and i haven't lived in NC in years.

I was JUST gonna suggest this

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i'm going out of town next thurs for my little brother's bachelor party-- it'll be before then but part of a good turd is it being unexpected :)

I'm gonna have to disagree sir.... the WORST turds are the unexpected, bowl sprinters. The best ones are the ones you think about for about a good hour or two, and are able to carefully select your reading material etc. etc.

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That was an incredible post... hahahahaha.. POTW by far

A few thoughts I have

1: the autoflush at work sometimes throws me off during the closing process because it activates while i'm cleaning up.

2: although i play a lot of away games, i like to do so when NO ONE else is in the bathroom. i have a serious case of stage fright when it comes to above process.

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My quote on things

Life is life.

^^

Presupposes the immeasurable ecstasy you have just from being alive here at this point in time.

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Here is why. It is simple. JGB created this to knock other people. I am all for a good joke. I am all for some internet ball busting. But when it comes to ripping on the posters here, I will pass.

People should be able to post stuff without being called names. Just my 2 cents. And that is why I censored it. Don't worry though, it will be back next week under the new name of The_Post_Of_Fecal_Matter_Award.

Stay tuned. It's gonna be so much fun. Seeing posters flock from this site in terror -- that never gets old.

I don't get it though... he rips on me more than anyone here. What "long time users" has he driven away?

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