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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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This is a serious issue,,,

And its not political

The match works through science burning up the stinky foulness, I go with the match. The key though is the courtesy flush. Damn the environmentalists, if I have company over or I am at someones house, I will flush after every brownie pops out of the oven.

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Ever cup your hand over your stink-eye and fart into it? Yeah, me neither.

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Think of this and i am sure you will all agree that the oderless smoke is 10 times worse.

We have all been in the presence of some nasty bastid who let a stinker out in public. Now, you may have been grossed out by the smell, but i doubt anyone actually thinks about the fact that they are breathing in air polluted with some guys feces particulate. Now, if you could actually see the cloud of gas, then you would totally be thinking about the fact that you are breathing in someone's s##t-dust. I will take the nasty-yet-invisible any day over seeing what foulness i am breathing in.

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So is ignorance bliss? You're gonna be breathing in the farts either way. Also, when clothed, how much of this smoke actually makes it out into the atmosphere??

yes dude it totally is bliss. If the fart is invisible, like they are in real life, then maybe your clothes acted as a filter and no airisolized poop got out, at least you can take comfort from thinking that, but if you can see a cloud, then you know for a fact that it is a crap cloud and you are breathing it in and dusting your lungs with some strangers poo particles.

I will admit, it takes a guy with a bit of a germophobe problem to even think these things.

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trust me when we all smell max's farts with their hints of latex and man-batter we'd all rather have the smoke-- the question is what would you rather have yourself though? i don't mind carpet bombing a movie theater or walmart with my own brand. if i chose for others around me i'd take cloud, that way i could easily avoid their sh!tcloud but for myself-- pass the raisins cause i wanna drop the bomb on folks.

for f###'s sake jgb,why did you start this damn thread! Now you have me all stirred up thinking about the foulness of the air tainted with someone's fart! I want to go into the bathroom and scour my mouth from breathing in poo microbes in the air! UGGHHHH

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you're choosing what you would have, not some farting stranger. if you had one of these afflications, which would it be??

same thing dude, i wouldn't want a visual reminder that i am breathing in my own s##t particles either.

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just close your eyes and imagine a nice, clean double penetration video. feel better?

Lol, a little. Dude, i had a mini anxiety attack when i had to pull the emergency ripchord on a cellphone that wouldn't come out of this chicks......um.....nevermind

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whoa, whoa, whoa-- you telling me you don't enjoy your own brand???

my own blend does not bother me, as it doesn't bother most people, but if it became a visible cloud then yes i would have a problem breathing in that smoke as i would visually see and know i am breathing in gas that originated in my colon and obviously had trace amounts of my feces in it.

god when will this thread get locked for nastiness???

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i would rather smell my worst raisin-fueld ass bomb than a gorgeous, glistening red rose.

Well, there is that natural phenomenon where your own brand doesn't bother you, but i have laid a couple in my time that even made me sick, that is when you know you gassed everyone good.

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can any of them securely house a moist turd?
]

I just snapped a cellphone pic of the biggest turd ever, it came out in one long log. I actually pulled out my little tape measure and measured it, 13 inches, and that doesn't include the part that is going down the whole, another inch or two at least. I am gonna text it to all my friends.

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anybody see the newest line of coach purses?

frankly i am not crazy about them.

dc9d4b354ca26fc9221d5a0adb88e555.jpg

ohhhh, coach, what every girl completely deviod of style and taste is wearing this season.

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Hold up, let me understand this.... you are measuring your ****, yet a girl with a Coach bag is completely devoid of style and taste? :shutit:

haha, yeah, i guess that is what i am saying, lol.

BTW, i was just trying to go over the top with that poo post, its what i do from time to time, harharhar.

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He was measuring his crap, not his penis...

Too much fart and sh!t talk around here for my taste... where'd all the gentlemen go?

:confused0082: :confused0082: :confused0082:

I am a gentleman in real life, online that doesn't play out so well, so I wear the joebaby hat and become that guy, good times! Kind of like how maxxx only plays a gay on here, i mean, i hope he is only playing, although when he goosed me instead of the hot porn chick at the tailgate i thought at the time he was getting a bit caried away with this act.

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POTW. when women want 'bad boys' can you blame us for not being gentlemen?

The boy does have a point.

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i picked the invisible gas,,only way to go,, have to get a little levity out of bad meat from night before

I am wondering, would that gas change color depending on what you ate, or would it always be the same color? And would it be the same color for everyone?

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Yes....it's her fault every other word,post,thread out of you 2 is "Turd" .

:confused0058:

well someone had to provide the inspiration, i guess nobody thought it would be gg, lol.

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Question:

Do farts have lumps?

no, farts are pure gas. If it contains a fine mist or lumps, then it is a shart.

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WARNING: sharts can and will damage the porcelin coating on the inside of your john if you had grape nuts for breakfast.

that is a grapenut sandblast.

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........(5) We also retain all of these same right pertaining to Farts, while not turds by definition, we believe there is ample evidence that farts and turds are natural allies.

Farts are just a turd's warning shot. I agree in annexing fart-talk to the turd thread.

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My son is 5 yrs old....and even he doesn't think poop is funny.

meh, give him a few years.

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Thank you, Mrs. T.

Porn, homophobia and anal discharge. JN has hit the trifecta!

figures the poster riding around on the horse is talking about trifectas. I guess you are right, but I suspect with the nuts that post on this board, this was an odds on favorite trifecta so the payout will be very low. lol

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Why did Tiger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

And i thought upper management was getting all in an uproar over this thread? Maxxx says game on!! hahaha

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ya, him and my fiancee worry all the time if i like to buttbang

ps: baby if you're listenin, let's try it once, ok?

\

Classic drunk posting going on here, lol!

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night left here as a poster and you could say one thing to him....what would it be?

I would ask him if he ever had his turds pushed in. That boy sure has an odd fascination with fecal matter.

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Yeah, don't ban him Max.

Yeah, besides, it would totally cause an imbalance in the force of jn, well, unless you also ban one of the counterpoints to jgb...hmmmmm.....nah, let's just keep them all i guess, jgb is a good egg that just has a crack or two, lol.

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let's all us settle down everyone, lol, nobody wants to go all Regan and push the detonator button on the nukes, lol. We are almost through the offseason guys, lol.

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look, if jgb goes then i am going to require protection and safe haven, or mod status, being public enemy#2 is MUCH better than public enemy#1, if he is tossed, i slide to the bottom.

  • Upvote 1

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Will you control the turd thread?

Nope. That thread is political suicide.

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lighten up, frances. anyone can nominate anyone. i think if you read the t_owt posts you'll see it's not malicious. but if you decide to ban me over it, do it. i'm just trying to loosen to offseason tension and when i get PMs saying it's not a bannable offense but then you posts multiple posts saying i'm about to get banned, well i mean come on, don't play me like a fiddle. just do it if you wanna. i'd hate to be banned from here, i love this place and i just got banned from JI earlier this week defending this place but if "pontius pilate'ing" me to the masses of complainers will help, do it. if it happens though, joebaby, look out. if this is my last post you know i love Jn and i love you all. . if this is just one big ball bust then you got me and you're the freaking king of it, you old s.o.b. :)

I LOVE how he just made up a yahoo email for his impending banning, lol! Like a boyscout, always prepared, lol.

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Joe if elected to PE#1 what changes would you make? Would you target different groups? How would your style differ from those that served before you?

In short, why should we vote for you?

well, as suggested by another poster, jetnation would become TandAnation. pornapolooza yo!

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better to go with the devil you know, i'm just sayin....

yeah, besides, i want to run for mod, not PE1

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Life is....like a box of chocolates....you never know when you're going to get that ****ty coconut one and have to spit it out.

i thought you always swallowed the gooey white fillings

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Are you trying to determine if that "swordfight" qualifies as a gay episode?

The only way a sword fight is not gay is if it was unintentional under an acceptable situation like in a gym locker room and if a fight to the death occurs between both guys with one being killed, because if two straight ####s bump, someone's gotta die!

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hahahaha....that's what pm's are for, right?

I call bull#### on this, just sayin'

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