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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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That's two for two for you for in the digestive system dept (see new Candy Corn thread and how it breaks down in the human body). I'd expect to see that after a Jets loss, not a Jets win. I guess you can't stomach either one. Hehe.

EDIT: By the way, does this thread mean you have to take a cr*p, that you farted and you already did, or you're just contemplating your bodily functions for the sheer simple pleasure?

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I guess so.

You guess so! Snort. I think men are far more interested in cr*pping and the earthshaking events involved therein. As a matter of fact, they're downright proud of polluting the premises ("Don't go in there! Wooo!"). Sometimes you'll even get a fist pump to mark the occasion. What's up with that.

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Being proud of our work??

Yes, I know, but what's up with that? I have a theory, and I'm convinced it's true.

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What is your theory?

Boys are far harder to potty train than girls and are far more resistant. After boys start using the bowl and get the clue not to cr*p their pants, their mothers act like their cr*p is a gift from God, suitable for framing, followed by copious praise. It's carried into adulthood that cr*pping in the appropriate place equals the warm fuzzies, reminds them of Mom and her accolades, makes them not want to cr*p their pants because the rewards of the bowl are far more satisfying psychologically. Why else would anyone think they cr*pped gold and marble and actually be proud of defecating when they're thirty?

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that is one hilarious analogy that actually makes sense......potw nom :)

Analogy, of course it is. Word Play. Snarfle.

Good theory.

My take on it has always been its a "macho" thing. Whoever creates a deadiler biohazard zone was considered top male. :box:

Well, yes, territorial marking, the primal, evolutionary aspect of it. Vestiges of the Neolithic Age, it explains why so many male toddlers draw on the walls with their own poop when the urge to bring it out in the open takes over. What does it smell like? Did I make that? I did. It smells bad, but this chit is mine and somehow comforting. Someone else will think my chit smells worse than their chit and leave my real and figurative chit alone. Therefore I paint the cave walls with my feces and admire my handiwork. WARNING! This wooly mammoth carcass is mine!

P.S., Fun Fact: A big factor in early man's survival is our propensity to smell so f*cking bad that nothing wanted to eat us. Yep, you can thank Body Odor for us being Jets fans a 150,000 years later. Get a load of a man soaked in his own piss and chit for a week. Ungodly. Then imagine that effect compounded over the course of his life. Predators avoided us like the plague given a choice. It also gave them a heads up when they were being hunted themselves.

I was actually responding to the thread starter. The problem was it took me three or four minutes to decide how I wanted to reply and you snuck in a post in that period of time.

I don't know what he was talking about. "Air over crap"?

The air under crap and the air next to crap also smells bad.

I replied to his post with an "I guess so" just like I do when I'm in a bar and some drunk starts babbling.

Underneath it all, you were ruminating on the mystery and wonder of your own cr*p nonetheless. Hehe.

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Jetophile, you have put WAY too much thought into this.

Nah. The human animal is pretty straightforward and transparent. We put so much emphasis on how "complex" we are. We really aren't. And, me Jane, with a club. Hehe.

Cavemen.jpg

apegirluy3.jpg

I favor primates, personally. Here's a childhood shot of me. I have to poop, come to think of it.

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pyle.jpg

"Hi, Joker..."

"Leonard .. . if Hartman comes in here and catches us, we'll both be

in a world of sh*t."

"I am .. . in a world . . . of sh*t!"

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363065&postcount=5

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363106&postcount=8

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363233&postcount=10

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363866&postcount=17

^There you go, JGB. I'm out. I think I've said it all. Hehe.

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Wrong thread. Wait, I either got caught in a merge or I completely typed in the wrong place some minutes ago. I'm confused. Anyway, that's it for me on this topic.

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I have to admit, I was confused too. but Max is back now, and his thread merging talent is beyond repute. you just got caught up in his lightning like efficiency.

I was so confused, I got caught editing with my pants down. Nothing new there.

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