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North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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It was soft to medium consistency,oily and very smelly. he also didn't wipe very well but we all know how hard it is to get in there and get 3 good wipes when you're a man on the Go ,such as Sooth.

Stay tuned for a follow up.

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How many of those 48-roll Costco packages of Scott can you get for $55?

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It was soft to medium consistency,oily and very smelly. he also didn't wipe very well but we all know how hard it is to get in there and get 3 good wipes when you're a man on the Go ,such as Sooth.

Stay tuned for a follow up.

It's hard to get in there when your ass is the size of Montana.

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It was soft to medium consistency,oily and very smelly. he also didn't wipe very well but we all know how hard it is to get in there and get 3 good wipes when you're a man on the Go ,such as Sooth.

Stay tuned for a follow up.

Is there going to be a tailgate party in his honor?

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Nothing nastier than a fart when you have to take a dump.

Air over crap is deadly.

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That's two for two for you for in the digestive system dept (see new Candy Corn thread and how it breaks down in the human body). I'd expect to see that after a Jets loss, not a Jets win. I guess you can't stomach either one. Hehe.

EDIT: By the way, does this thread mean you have to take a cr*p, that you farted and you already did, or you're just contemplating your bodily functions for the sheer simple pleasure?

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I guess so.

You guess so! Snort. I think men are far more interested in cr*pping and the earthshaking events involved therein. As a matter of fact, they're downright proud of polluting the premises ("Don't go in there! Wooo!"). Sometimes you'll even get a fist pump to mark the occasion. What's up with that.

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You guess so! Snort. I think men are far more interested in cr*pping and the earthshaking events involved therein. As a matter of fact, they're downright proud of polluting the premises ("Don't go in there! Wooo!"). Sometimes you'll even get a fist pump to mark the occasion. What's up with that.

dont forget the Dutch Oven

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You guess so! Snort. I think men are far more interested in cr*pping and the earthshaking events involved therein. As a matter of fact, they're downright proud of polluting the premises ("Don't go in there! Wooo!"). Sometimes you'll even get a fist pump to mark the occasion. What's up with that.

Being proud of our work??

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What is your theory?

Boys are far harder to potty train than girls and are far more resistant. After boys start using the bowl and get the clue not to cr*p their pants, their mothers act like their cr*p is a gift from God, suitable for framing, followed by copious praise. It's carried into adulthood that cr*pping in the appropriate place equals the warm fuzzies, reminds them of Mom and her accolades, makes them not want to cr*p their pants because the rewards of the bowl are far more satisfying psychologically. Why else would anyone think they cr*pped gold and marble and actually be proud of defecating when they're thirty?

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Boys are far harder to potty train than girls and are far more resistant. After boys start using the bowl and get the clue not to cr*p their pants, their mothers act like their cr*p is a gift from God, suitable for framing, followed by copious praise. It's carried into adulthood that cr*pping in the appropriate place equals the warm fuzzies, reminds them of Mom and her accolades, makes them not want to cr*p their pants because the rewards of the bowl are far more satisfying psychologically. Why else would anyone think they cr*pped gold and marble and actually be proud of defecating when they're thirty?

Wrong. SJ's just proud that he still has ONE bodily function that works. At his age, there are not many left.

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Boys are far harder to potty train than girls and are far more resistant. After boys start using the bowl and get the clue not to cr*p their pants, their mothers act like their cr*p is a gift from God, suitable for framing, followed by copious praise. It's carried into adulthood that cr*pping in the appropriate place equals the warm fuzzies, reminds them of Mom and her accolades, makes them not want to cr*p their pants because the rewards of the bowl are far more satisfying psychologically. Why else would anyone think they cr*pped gold and marble and actually be proud of defecating when they're thirty?

Good theory.

My take on it has always been its a "macho" thing. Whoever creates a deadiler biohazard zone was considered top male. :box:

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Boys are far harder to potty train than girls and are far more resistant. After boys start using the bowl and get the clue not to cr*p their pants, their mothers act like their cr*p is a gift from God, suitable for framing, followed by copious praise. It's carried into adulthood that cr*pping in the appropriate place equals the warm fuzzies, reminds them of Mom and her accolades, makes them not want to cr*p their pants because the rewards of the bowl are far more satisfying psychologically. Why else would anyone think they cr*pped gold and marble and actually be proud of defecating when they're thirty?

that is one hilarious analogy that actually makes sense......potw nom :)

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Yup, farts over **** are the worst.

Had a tough time figuring out what you meant.

But yea, I gotta ****, and my farts are adding humidity to the air.

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Nothing nastier than a fart when you have to take a dump.

Air over crap is deadly.

POTW. The message must get out.

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You guess so! Snort. I think men are far more interested in cr*pping and the earthshaking events involved therein. As a matter of fact, they're downright proud of polluting the premises ("Don't go in there! Wooo!"). Sometimes you'll even get a fist pump to mark the occasion. What's up with that.

I was actually responding to the thread starter. The problem was it took me three or four minutes to decide how I wanted to reply and you snuck in a post in that period of time.

I don't know what he was talking about. "Air over crap"?

The air under crap and the air next to crap also smells bad.

I replied to his post with an "I guess so" just like I do when I'm in a bar and some drunk starts babbling.

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that is one hilarious analogy that actually makes sense......potw nom :)

Analogy, of course it is. Word Play. Snarfle.

Good theory.

My take on it has always been its a "macho" thing. Whoever creates a deadiler biohazard zone was considered top male. :box:

Well, yes, territorial marking, the primal, evolutionary aspect of it. Vestiges of the Neolithic Age, it explains why so many male toddlers draw on the walls with their own poop when the urge to bring it out in the open takes over. What does it smell like? Did I make that? I did. It smells bad, but this chit is mine and somehow comforting. Someone else will think my chit smells worse than their chit and leave my real and figurative chit alone. Therefore I paint the cave walls with my feces and admire my handiwork. WARNING! This wooly mammoth carcass is mine!

P.S., Fun Fact: A big factor in early man's survival is our propensity to smell so f*cking bad that nothing wanted to eat us. Yep, you can thank Body Odor for us being Jets fans a 150,000 years later. Get a load of a man soaked in his own piss and chit for a week. Ungodly. Then imagine that effect compounded over the course of his life. Predators avoided us like the plague given a choice. It also gave them a heads up when they were being hunted themselves.

I was actually responding to the thread starter. The problem was it took me three or four minutes to decide how I wanted to reply and you snuck in a post in that period of time.

I don't know what he was talking about. "Air over crap"?

The air under crap and the air next to crap also smells bad.

I replied to his post with an "I guess so" just like I do when I'm in a bar and some drunk starts babbling.

Underneath it all, you were ruminating on the mystery and wonder of your own cr*p nonetheless. Hehe.

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air over crap stinks the air the same way heat exchanger cools water. or how a heater blows hot air. or how cold air gets created. its a winner

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Jetophile, you have put WAY too much thought into this.

Nah. The human animal is pretty straightforward and transparent. We put so much emphasis on how "complex" we are. We really aren't. And, me Jane, with a club. Hehe.

Cavemen.jpg

apegirluy3.jpg

I favor primates, personally. Here's a childhood shot of me. I have to poop, come to think of it.

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my parents got into town last night, my dad said he dropped a massive bomb (2-flusher) at my house and once he got done wiping and washing his hands, he had a curtain call and had to go through the whole thing again. nothing worse than the old curtain call.

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my parents got into town last night, my dad said he dropped a massive bomb (2-flusher) at my house and once he got done wiping and washing his hands, he had a curtain call and had to go through the whole thing again. nothing worse than the old curtain call.

Really trying to bump down that whole comdom under the bed thread, huh?

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I would say match. Totally clears the crap molecules wafting in the drop-zone.

The fan takes much longer to work.

The downside of match is everyone knows you just cranked out a less than sweet smelling havana

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One day your Depends will have an aroma filtering device in them. Then you won't have to worry about it at all.

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One day your Depends will have an aroma filtering device in them. Then you won't have to worry about it at all.

This is a serious issue,,,

And its not political

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This is a serious issue,,,

And its not political

The match works through science burning up the stinky foulness, I go with the match. The key though is the courtesy flush. Damn the environmentalists, if I have company over or I am at someones house, I will flush after every brownie pops out of the oven.

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Ive never liked the match method... now it smells like sh!t and smoke. Fan usually isnt powerful enough to draw the sh!t particles out of the air.

If you have a bathroom with a window in it, the window is the best. If you dont, you are screwed.

I dont really care if people smell my bathroom brownies.

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