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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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just happened to me

what do you say in times like this??????????

Just don't say anthing. If the person starts making accusations just say that you didn't notice anything until they walked in.

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it should be called father son soggy biscuit thread. your wife is the biscuit.

I have to leave for work now but I wanted to quote this for later when I get home.

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I have to leave for work now but I wanted to quote this for later when I get home.

not nice having people say vile things about your loved ones, is it? only difference is my dad and i can't start deleting posts when the heats gets turned up. we're good sports but the **** about my mom is immature, pathetic and really exposes you as a turd. just sayin'.

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not nice having people say vile things about your loved ones, is it? only difference is my dad and i can't start deleting posts when the heats gets turned up. we're good sports but the **** about my mom is immature, pathetic and really exposes you as a turd. just sayin'.

Dude your Dad made a joke that he was having sex with Smizzy's wife. A little late in the game to worry about people making vile jokes.

This thread has run its course.

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hi. my name is jgb and i am an addict. as most of you know, i'm not allowed to have anything raisin related in the house. this includes raisin bran and oatmeal raisin cookies-- both of which i love. so last time my wife was out of town, i bought some fresh oatmeal raisin cookies from the italian market and hid them in my drawer. i had forgotten about them until last night when my wife discovered them. she was so furious, you would've thought she found heroin or asian sex slaves chained up in the basement.

after she found them she exclaimed, "so THAT explains last night!" i was too frightened to tell her that was because i ate a cheesesteak before coming home to dinner. :)

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hi. my name is jgb and i am an addict. as most of you know, i'm not allowed to have anything raisin related in the house. this includes raisin bran and oatmeal raisin cookies-- both of which i love. so last time my wife was out of town, i bought some fresh oatmeal raisin cookies from the italian market and hid them in my drawer. i had forgotten about them until last night when my wife discovered them. she was so furious, you would've thought she found heroin or asian sex slaves chained up in the basement.

after she found them she exclaimed, "so THAT explains last night!" i was too frightened to tell her that was because i ate a cheesesteak before coming home to dinner. :)

mmm chocolate covered raisins. :happy0071:

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Your posts in my last thread have been very helpful. Thanks.

Nevertheless, Raisins have no place in the food chain. What sane person would corrupt an oatmeal-chocolate-chip-cookie like that?

I can't remember all the chocolate-chip cookies I've bit into that turned into those vile things. They're like cookie landmines!

...don't get me started on celery.

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What a bitch! :P

If my husband flatulated like i think i remember him describing, then i would forbid him from eating them too, or at least stay in another room .Some things are too much to handle.

You avatar is amazing, verde :P

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Here is Roberts Inc spiritual leader

VnP02230C54

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Man, I had a doozy the other night...

Earlier in day I had some rice and peas for lunch,,after 1st 2 bites I knew something was bad,,had almost a chemical taste to it,,I threw it out and felt well rest of day..

Well later that nite I had piercing pain that came in throbs for about 15 minutes,,finally I was able to relieve myself at toilet. It was like the Hoover Dam burst. The velocity and volume of the lava flow was scary. It went on for 10 seconds, felt better and then got up. Immediately pain came back, back on throne and Vesuvious erupted again with the same velocity and power that chargrilled half of Pompeii. I felt better after last arse tsunami. I would have thought food poisonoing, but I didnt think that hit for 30 minutes, then you are OK after you empty Hersheys vault.

Needless to say, I repeated this FOUR times. I lost 4 lbs. when I weighed myself the next day.

Any other stories where you thought you were gonna meet your maker.

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Man, I had a doozy the other night...

Earlier in day I had some rice and peas for lunch,,after 1st 2 bites I knew something was bad,,had almost a chemical taste to it,,I threw it out and felt well rest of day..

Well later that nite I had piercing pain that came in throbs for about 15 minutes,,finally I was able to relieve myself at toilet. It was like the Hoover Dam burst. The velocity and volume of the lava flow was scary. It went on for 10 seconds, felt better and then got up. Immdediately pain came back, back on throne and Vesuvious erupted again with teh same velocity and power that chargrilled half of Pompeii. I felt better after last arse tsunami. I would have thoiught food poisonoing, but I didnt think tha thit for 30 minutes, then you are OK after you empty Hersheys vault.

Needless to say, I repeated this FOUR times. I lost 4 lbs. when I weighed myself the next day.

Any other stories where you thought you were gonna meet your maker.

i'm glad everthing came out OK!!!!

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When I was stationed in Turkey a few years ago I got what the US service members referred to as the Turkish T's (T's stood for trots as in you would be trotting to the bathroom on short notice when it hit you) I was there for fifteen months and had it twice. I don't know anybody there who didn't get it at least once. Won't go in to a lot of detail but I'll tell you what, if you get the T's....you have less than five minutes to get to a toilet or it's gonna be messy. I am so grateful that I was near one on both occassions. I heard a lot of stories about guys who didn't get there in time and how humiliating of an experience that was.

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Why does SJ's grammar (,,,) seem much better when he is writing bathroom stories?

Helloooo he is one of leading authorities in the country!!!

he has been called to many trials as an expert witness where gas issues has

led to the big D;)

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I have lived my whole life with really bad IBS, so these types of things are a daily occurance for me. :(

Don't worry, chicks love that type of thing. It makes you seem vulnerable.

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I ordered a sandwich at the bar last night. Roast beef, bbq sauce, pepper jack and jalapenos grilled on pumpernickle with a side of ranch. In retrospect, I wish I had a grilled cheese like Grant. :lol:

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A year or so ago, I ordered a footlong "cold cut trio" at a subway in a gas station. Apparently the bologna/salami in that sandwich is less popular than turkey and stays out on the counter for days longer.

It hit about midnight, and this involved kneeling, not sitting. Trust me, when you're kneeling, you WISH you could be only sitting.

It was so violent that the next morning I was snorting tomatoes out of my sinuses.

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Don't worry, chicks love that type of thing. It makes you seem vulnerable.

i already have myself a chick, i don't need to worry about that anyways, but thanks.

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I ordered a sandwich at the bar last night. Roast beef, bbq sauce, pepper jack and jalapenos grilled on pumpernickle with a side of ranch. In retrospect, I wish I had a grilled cheese like Grant. :lol:

explosivediarrheakc3.jpg

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explosivediarrheakc3.jpg

:lol: The only problem is this sandwich was my own creation. I don't think I have a leg to stand on here.

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Man, I had a doozy the other night...

Earlier in day I had some rice and peas for lunch,,after 1st 2 bites I knew something was bad,,had almost a chemical taste to it,,I threw it out and felt well rest of day..

Well later that nite I had piercing pain that came in throbs for about 15 minutes,,finally I was able to relieve myself at toilet. It was like the Hoover Dam burst. The velocity and volume of the lava flow was scary. It went on for 10 seconds, felt better and then got up. Immdediately pain came back, back on throne and Vesuvious erupted again with teh same velocity and power that chargrilled half of Pompeii. I felt better after last arse tsunami. I would have thoiught food poisonoing, but I didnt think tha thit for 30 minutes, then you are OK after you empty Hersheys vault.

Needless to say, I repeated this FOUR times. I lost 4 lbs. when I weighed myself the next day.

Any other stories where you thought you were gonna meet your maker.

I was in Cancun in 1995 and I made the mistake of getting Mexican McDonalds. I did not have diarrhea, but what I did have was several little turdlets that felt like 800 degree hot rivets coming out of my ass. I had tears in my eyes from the pain. it was brutal.

The next day I had a severe stomach pain that would not go away. I was tossing and turning in bed when my friend passed me 2 Di-Gel tablets with double protection (gas and acid). moments after finishing the di-gel I started ripping thunder farts, which eased the pain with every eruption until I was completely degassed.

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I was in Cancun in 1995 and I made the mistake of getting Mexican McDonalds. I did not have diarrhea, but what I did have was several little turdlets that felt like 800 degree hot rivets coming out of my ass. I had tears in my eyes from the pain. it was brutal.

The next day I had a severe stomach pain that would not go away. I was tossing and turning in bed when my friend passed me 2 Di-Gel tablets with double protection (gas and acid). moments after finishing the di-gel I started ripping thunder farts, which eased the pain with every eruption until I was completely degassed.

:rl:

Just the name, BP, Mexican McDonalds..

Instead of Mickey D's, it was Miguel D's

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after dropping bomb after bomb in the master bath my wife finally decided to make me **** in the guest bathroom on the fourth floor so i'm up there doing my business and i hear her begin to curse from the kitchen on the first floor. i figure maybe she spilled something. after my dump, i went to see what she was up to and she just glowered at me. i asked her what the problem was and she looked at me, deadly serious: "your **** stink waterfalled down each flight of stairs and made me gag, you're an animal."

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after dropping bomb after bomb in the master bath my wife finally decided to make me **** in the guest bathroom on the fourth floor so i'm up there doing my business and i hear her begin to curse from the kitchen on the first floor. i figure maybe she spilled something. after my dump, i went to see what she was up to and she just glowered at me. i asked her what the problem was and she looked at me, deadly serious: "your **** stink waterfalled down each flight of stairs and made me gag, you're an animal."

a chip off the old block;)

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it's funny. women think men are incompetent morons but they also think we have voluntary control over the consistency and smell of our BMs.

Your wife probably craps at work;)

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it's funny. women think men are incompetent morons but they also think we have voluntary control over the consistency and smell of our BMs.

dont let her see this

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Relax. Enjoy close encounters with friends and family. Catch a concert. See a movie even when the theater is packed. Dance. Or take a long ride in the country, just the two of you. Impossible, you say? If you

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