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North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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Your wife probably craps at work;)

speaking of crapping at work..

i remember this guy along time ago who used to crap at work every morning,,man, the bathroom was like a war zone when he was done..it was not only foul smelling, but foul to the point of stench sticking in your nose hair and remaining there for hours..

you felt like the horrific stench stuck with you all day,,it always had a odd pungent aroma to it..

well, finally a guy named Joe at work coudnt take it any longer,,he says 'Len, WTF, you stink up the place like something crawled up your arse and died'..

Len shoots back, sheepishly, 'I know man, sorry'. I met and , married my wife when I was in Vietnam. She cooks all these off the wall Vietnamese dishes and uses spices I never heard of. It tastes great but I admit it stinks the place out. Why do you think I crap here at work. My wife even craps at her work. She thinks its awful also"

Rocky tells Bullwinkle: Crap and stink are universal.

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speaking of crapping at work..

i remember this guy along time ago who used to crap at work every morning,,man, the bathroom was like a war zone when he was done..it was not only foul smelling, but foul to the point of stench sticking in your nose hair and remaining there for hours..

you felt like the horrific stench stuck with you all day,,it always had a odd pungent aroma to it..

well, finally a guy named Joe at work coudnt take it any longer,,he says 'Len, WTF, you stink up the place like something crawled up your arse and died'..

Len shoots back, sheepishly, 'I know man, sorry'. I met and , married my wife when I was in Vietnam. She cooks all these off the wall Vietnamese dishes and uses spices I never heard of. It tastes great but I admit it stinks the place out. Why do you think I crap here at work. My wife even craps at her work. She thinks its awful also"

Rocky tells Bullwinkle: Crap and stink are universal.

uuggghhhh the dreaded southeast asian spicy dump. have to use a wetnap on your arsehole after eating a lot of this stuff at one sitting.

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A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel some gastric discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The pains increase and are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'

The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pains again.

This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer
rrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog again and yelled, 'Dammit Skippy!'

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it and let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

One more time, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she shiits on you!'

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An elderly couple were attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says, " I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" He replies, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

oldcouple.jpg

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What type are you???

Types of Farters

Here is a list of how people with different characters fart.

1. Polite person - he farts and says "Pardon me!"

2. Cynic - he farts and looks you in the eyes

3. Cavalier - he lets lady to fart first

4. Gourmand - he farts for his own pleasure

5. Emotional person - he farts and says "Oh!"

6. Idealist - he farts for his own belief

7. Happy person - he farts and says "Who farts, means no evil"

8. Sentimental - he farts and thinks it how good it would be if he didn't farted

9. Nitwit - he farts a little bit whole day

10. Dupe - he farts and thinks that he's done a great thing

11. Well educated - before he farts, he asks for permission

12. Rowdy - when he farts, windows shake

13. Realist - he considers farting for normal behaviour

14. Impatient - he can't wait to fart

15. Egoist - he farts only for himself

16. Pessimist - he wants to fart and already he thinks he crapped his pants

17. Hypocritical (doublefaced) - he farts and asks who farted

18. Discrete person - he farts and says "This is between us, don't tell anyone"

19. Fellow person - he gives others the oportunity to fart, not just him

20. Careless person - he farts and craps in pants

21. Snob - he only farts in wealthy and respectable company

22. Actor - he farts, and waits for applause

23. Sportsman - if someone farts, he'll fart twice, just to be better

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I cant win.

If I dump in the bedroom throne then I hear, "I am getting ready to do my make-up in there..you pig"..

If I go in the kid's old bathroom I hear, "I dont need to clean that anymore, so dont use it. Now I have to clean that Fudge Swirl you just created"..you pig"..

If I go in the downstairs bathroom, I hear, "Its too close to the kitchen, go upstairs..you pig"..

No lie, yesterday, Mrs. SJ says, "No matter what bathroom I go to in house , you have stunk it up. I am going to get a Port-a-Potty for you and stick it in our woods"..

Is this a good thing? I am worried, I have snakes in my woods..

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It means you're rotten inside and expect some kind of sickness / deathly illness in the near future. ;)

J/K. Hey, just tell her to you it smells like Roses and to get over it.

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Whoa -- for a minute there I thought I was back at my house --

at least it sounds like you leave the seat down -- Im not so good at that

and why the hell is it our fault our other halves dont look b4 they sit -- sheeesh

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She's right. you're a pig. :animal0026:\:D/

ya, I get that feeling ;)

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SJ you are lucky you have such a great personality. Otherwise she wouldn't put up with you! No matter how much you act like you love antiquing, she would have gotten tired of you by now.

:)

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SJ you are lucky you have such a great personality. Otherwise she wouldn't put up with you! No matter how much you act like you love antiquing, she would have gotten tired of you by now.

:)

ya, I have been told before the BBQ today 'we' are going to Sak's for a Cole Haan handbag to 'atone' for my habits :(

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ya, I have been told before the BBQ today 'we' are going to Sak's for a Cole Haan handbag to 'atone' for my habits :(

Gitcha self some Cole Haan loafers whilst you're there SJ - they're the shiznit!

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ya, I have been told before the BBQ today 'we' are going to Sak's for a Cole Haan handbag to 'atone' for my habits :(

wtf?

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Install (or begin to use) ceiling fans in the bathrooms.

As for marks left in the commode, that's her fault -- from all the fiber she's pushing on you. Stick to steak, ribs, and potatoes and you'll be fine.

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Gitcha self some Cole Haan loafers whilst you're there SJ - they're the shiznit!

yup,,have 2 pair already ,,they are the best..

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wtf?

a joke,,

i dont have to piss her off for her to go shopping :D

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A man and his wife go to bed.

After lying in bed for a few minutes the man lets rip a fart. His wife rolls over and growls, "What in God's name was that?"

The man says, "TOUCHDOWN, I'm ahead, 7 to nothing!!!"

A few minutes later the wife lets rip a scorcher.

The husband says, "What was that!?"

The wife playing along replies with a smile, "Touchdown, tie score."

The man not wanting to be outdone lays there for about 10 minutes trying to work up a good one. He tries so hard he craps in bed before he can stop it.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

The husband replies, "Halftime, switch sides."

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Hey BP,,u said you wouldnt move???

2nd shift must have come in,,,guess its cool to have a rep ;)

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Gambler, The

Noun

Definition 1: When you have to fart and you're unsure whether pushing it out will result in ****ting yourself but you go ahead and do it anyway.

Usage Example: During the flight, John let out a gambler and lost his bet; he had to throw away his underwear in the lavatory.

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Hey BP,,u said you wouldnt move???

2nd shift must have come in,,,guess its cool to have a rep ;)

I didn't move it. however, I did add the farting and crapping option to your ''what's likely to happen first thread''. I'm terribly sorry. :P

  • Upvote 1

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I didn't move it. however, I did add the farting and crapping option to your ''what's likely to happen first thread''. I'm terribly sorry. :P

nice,,i try to be serious for once and u unserious me :(

  • Upvote 1

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The Debut of RoboDump 1.0

By Kevin Kelm (kkelm@triggur.org)

Friday, Nov 12, 2004

RoboDump is a robot. Sort of. And it poops. Sort of. Forever. A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds.

Downloads (right click, Save As...)Low bandwidth, 40Kbps, mono, 1.1MBMirror1High bandwidth, 128Kbps, stereo, 4.0MB (NEW! Remastered by Greg Lynn! Thanks Greg!)Mirror 2

The left channel speaker points up into the room (for the voice effects) and the right channel speaker points down into the toilet (for the business-end effects).

I snuck RoboDump into the men's room at the office. Unfortunately, today turned out to be the day of a board meeting. Whoops! It still went over well; the office was abuzz all morning with gossip about the guy in the bathroom. Several people theorized it was the CFO. The janitor commented to someone in the hallway that he wanted to clean the restroom but "this guy's been in there all morning."

I also decided to dress it in businessware to make coworkers less likely to try to talk to it... if it looks like a customer or visiting bigwig, they'll be less likely to offer help or ask for a courtesy flush.

Comment at the blog...

RoboDump in action:

robodump1.jpg

robodump2.jpg

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