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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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holy moses i just pushed out a champ (length & stench), no triple crown though (girth).

5 guys, burrito or cheesesteak?

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You asking them to ban me? For what??? Get over yourself.

That's a JI thing, don't sweat it.

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You asking them to ban me? For what??? Get over yourself.

No offense to you, green balls.

JI joke.

I'm scatological too, we're cool.

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You asking them to ban me? For what??? Get over yourself.

Ooooohhhh... This kitten has claws... meow

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went over my head, i've been gone awhile. plus i have this thing about bannings...

I hear you. I don't even like being warned.

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That's a JI thing, don't sweat it.

They certainly have enough experience with it BP. :P

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http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/01/13/eyewitnesses-corroborate-drunkenness-can-lead-to-bad-things/

January 13, 2009

EYEWITNESSES CORROBORATE: DRUNKENNESS CAN LEAD TO BAD THINGS

We have an anonymous account of the poor, wretched sorority girl who beshat herself at the national title game, and we found it intriguing both for its clinical description of the situation, its veracity, and its sympathy for the poor girl involved

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Digestion typically slows with age, giving bacteria extra time to transform your meals into hydrogen and methane. The gas itself may not behave as discreetly as it once did, either; in an older person, it tends to build up in the lower colon before making a sometimes rapid and noisy escape, says Karen Hall, M.D., Ph.D., an associate professor of medicine at the University of Michigan who specializes in geriatrics and gastroenterology. "There isn't necessarily more gas," she says, "but there's a higher potential for embarrassment."

Gas-producing foods such as beans, cabbage, and broccoli are healthful, so don't cut back too much. Try probiotics, gut-friendly bacteria available in supplements and foods like yogurt, kefir, and tempeh. A 2005 Mayo Clinic study of 48 patients found that taking probiotics containing acidophilus and bifidobacterium bacteria for 4 weeks decreased flatulence and bloating.

You can also keep excess air out of your system by going easy on carbonated beverages and slowly swallowing

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Flaming Fart Grounds Airline Flight

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing on December 4th after a passenger lit a match to cover up the smell of her flatulence.

The Washington-to-Dallas flight landed in Nashville after a female passenger lit the match and passengers noted the smell of burning sulfur. All 99 passengers and five crew members left the plane upon landing and were screened, and the plane's luggage was removed and screened. The plane took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on board.

The unidentified passenger was questioned and admitted to striking the match or matches. She was said to have an undisclosed medical condition that may have caused the flatulence. She was released by the FBI and will not be charged, but a spokesperson for the Nashville International Airport Authority said that "American [Airlines] has banned her for a long time."

With airline passengers already skittish from the 9/11 attacks and other incidents including Richard Reid's "shoe-bomb" attempt, airlines and Federal authorities have little tolerance for anything involving fire or explosions on board aircraft. Passengers are allowed to bring a limited number of matches on board planes, but it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, the Nashville spokesperson said.

As far as I know, Homeland Security is not considering naming flaming flatulence as an imminent terrorist threat. But perhaps agents will be on the lookout for individuals consuming large amounts of burritos at Taco Bell before flights.

poopy humor. reaching out to the female turds amongst us.

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TURD CORK, noun. A small hard turd that is torture to get out and as soon as you vacate it a torrent of diarrhea follows.

Edited by johnny green balls

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TURD CORK, noun. A small hard turd that is torture to get out and as soon as you vacate it a torrent of diarrhea follows.

splashback almost guranteed

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splashback almost guranteed

it's amazing that we cant make weapons precise enough to avoid friendly fire casualties but that little drop of water zooms directly in on your arsehole every single time.

that's why pros line the water with a layer of TP before sitting.

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it's amazing that we cant make weapons precise enough to avoid friendly fire casualties but that little drop of water zooms directly in on your arsehole every single time.

that's why pros line the water with a layer of TP before sitting.

whats TP?

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