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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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Wow, is there something you need to tell SJ about?

ya, him and my fiancee worry all the time if i like to buttbang

ps: baby if you're listenin, let's try it once, ok?

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I'd tell him to focus on the school work. That's he's problem it seems. Too much party time. But then again, that's just my observations.

good thing i've long since gradumated with multiple degrees. i got a Bs in turdology and a masters is getting banned.

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well, as suggested by another poster, jetnation would become TandAnation. pornapolooza yo!

better to go with the devil you know, i'm just sayin....

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Joe knows how to tone it down when needed. JGB has this weird banning fetish. It is a badge of honor of some sorts and I don't know why.

i don't want to get banned. i just want to me meeeeeeeeeeeee.

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Be you...just less annoying.

lol

if you knew my parents, you would know that i am myself no matter what. oh wait. i guess you already know.

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can you hurt yourself by holding it in too long? feel like i'm carrying around a pound of brunswick stew but 4:00pm is the witching hour where it might be possible to hold out for home commode advantage.

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Just for SJ and JGB. I was driving around the country this afternoon and came across this sign. I had to stop and back up just to see if I read it correctly then quickly snapped a picture.

see, this thread is inapproriately named. turds exist everywhere, not just in nc.

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worst gas of all time today. my ass sounds like a trumpet. a poor coworker had to come in to grab some binders and her face turned green. she was trying to escape so quickly that she dropped the binders all over the floor which made her have to stay even longer to gather all the papers back up. i think it was the dozen oysters i ate last night. good lord it is absolutely putrid.

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I had the same problem this weekend. I was down the shore, and I went out on the jetski and for 2 hours i just kept blasting every time i hit a wave. odd.

it is bad. so bad i can't even enjoy it.

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fear has a new name: the beet crap. i ate a bunch of beats and the next day i saw a bowl full of what i thought was blood.

if you have recently visited JN Mod HQ then it was blood :confused:

potw nominee

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We should change the name of this thread to " Father & Son Circle Jerk : Turd Edition " I mean it is just you two in here stroking eachother off.

it should be called father son soggy biscuit thread. your wife is the biscuit.

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I have to leave for work now but I wanted to quote this for later when I get home.

not nice having people say vile things about your loved ones, is it? only difference is my dad and i can't start deleting posts when the heats gets turned up. we're good sports but the **** about my mom is immature, pathetic and really exposes you as a turd. just sayin'.

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hi. my name is jgb and i am an addict. as most of you know, i'm not allowed to have anything raisin related in the house. this includes raisin bran and oatmeal raisin cookies-- both of which i love. so last time my wife was out of town, i bought some fresh oatmeal raisin cookies from the italian market and hid them in my drawer. i had forgotten about them until last night when my wife discovered them. she was so furious, you would've thought she found heroin or asian sex slaves chained up in the basement.

after she found them she exclaimed, "so THAT explains last night!" i was too frightened to tell her that was because i ate a cheesesteak before coming home to dinner. :)

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after dropping bomb after bomb in the master bath my wife finally decided to make me **** in the guest bathroom on the fourth floor so i'm up there doing my business and i hear her begin to curse from the kitchen on the first floor. i figure maybe she spilled something. after my dump, i went to see what she was up to and she just glowered at me. i asked her what the problem was and she looked at me, deadly serious: "your **** stink waterfalled down each flight of stairs and made me gag, you're an animal."

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a chip off the old block;)

it's funny. women think men are incompetent morons but they also think we have voluntary control over the consistency and smell of our BMs.

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speaking of crapping at work..

i remember this guy along time ago who used to crap at work every morning,,man, the bathroom was like a war zone when he was done..it was not only foul smelling, but foul to the point of stench sticking in your nose hair and remaining there for hours..

you felt like the horrific stench stuck with you all day,,it always had a odd pungent aroma to it..

well, finally a guy named Joe at work coudnt take it any longer,,he says 'Len, WTF, you stink up the place like something crawled up your arse and died'..

Len shoots back, sheepishly, 'I know man, sorry'. I met and , married my wife when I was in Vietnam. She cooks all these off the wall Vietnamese dishes and uses spices I never heard of. It tastes great but I admit it stinks the place out. Why do you think I crap here at work. My wife even craps at her work. She thinks its awful also"

Rocky tells Bullwinkle: Crap and stink are universal.

uuggghhhh the dreaded southeast asian spicy dump. have to use a wetnap on your arsehole after eating a lot of this stuff at one sitting.

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Gambler, The

Noun

Definition 1: When you have to fart and you're unsure whether pushing it out will result in ****ting yourself but you go ahead and do it anyway.

Usage Example: During the flight, John let out a gambler and lost his bet; he had to throw away his underwear in the lavatory.

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Tios Mexican Cafe; get the #4 sauce. So delicious but your emissions will smell just like the sauce for 2 solid days. Got 4 pints shipped back to philly to use to get out of early morning market trips. :)

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