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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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once i clogged the john of my hotel on a business trip and i had a $75 "late night plumbing fee" assessed to my bill because the maintenance guy had to come up at 2am to unclog it. the next day i told the girl behind the counter i would pay the fee but please call it something else so my client didn't see that on the bill.

luckily she had pity on me and dropped it. :bag:

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No offense to you, green balls.

JI joke.

I'm scatological too, we're cool.

went over my head, i've been gone awhile. plus i have this thing about bannings...

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Flaming Fart Grounds Airline Flight

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing on December 4th after a passenger lit a match to cover up the smell of her flatulence.

The Washington-to-Dallas flight landed in Nashville after a female passenger lit the match and passengers noted the smell of burning sulfur. All 99 passengers and five crew members left the plane upon landing and were screened, and the plane's luggage was removed and screened. The plane took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on board.

The unidentified passenger was questioned and admitted to striking the match or matches. She was said to have an undisclosed medical condition that may have caused the flatulence. She was released by the FBI and will not be charged, but a spokesperson for the Nashville International Airport Authority said that "American [Airlines] has banned her for a long time."

With airline passengers already skittish from the 9/11 attacks and other incidents including Richard Reid's "shoe-bomb" attempt, airlines and Federal authorities have little tolerance for anything involving fire or explosions on board aircraft. Passengers are allowed to bring a limited number of matches on board planes, but it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, the Nashville spokesperson said.

As far as I know, Homeland Security is not considering naming flaming flatulence as an imminent terrorist threat. But perhaps agents will be on the lookout for individuals consuming large amounts of burritos at Taco Bell before flights.

poopy humor. reaching out to the female turds amongst us.

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TURD CORK, noun. A small hard turd that is torture to get out and as soon as you vacate it a torrent of diarrhea follows.

Edited by johnny green balls

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splashback almost guranteed

it's amazing that we cant make weapons precise enough to avoid friendly fire casualties but that little drop of water zooms directly in on your arsehole every single time.

that's why pros line the water with a layer of TP before sitting.

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what does it mean when you struggle with a turd for 10 minutes, can feel it's a bigun, hear the plop, get up and there is no sign of it in the bowl and nothing there when you wipe???

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speaking of ghost turds i discovered about a year ago that if you don't pinch and let the log clear your o-ring before puckering you have much less mess to wipe up afterward as the butthole actually turns slightly inside out when the turd is escaping and only by pinching during the act do you chocolate coat your flesh donut.

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what does it mean when you struggle with a turd for 10 minutes, can feel it's a bigun, hear the plop, get up and there is no sign of it in the bowl and nothing there when you wipe???

what about the opposite when you wipe forever and it never stops?

i usually give up after 20 wipes and lodge a wad of TP in my crack as a boxer protector and go on with my day.

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well i guess i should say thank you for waiting till u got back to philly as opposed to cloggin up my crapper pipes this morning before u left

i can't crap before 7am; you dodged a brown bullet

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