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Smizzy

North Carolina Poopie Humor (Merged eleventy-Billion times)

what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. what caused tonight's bed evicting stench?

    • six pack coors light
      6
    • crab cakes w/zesty sauce
      6
    • garlic mashed potatos
      3
    • turkey wrap w/tons of mayo
      0
    • roast beef
      2
    • leftover meatballs and ravioli
      5
    • it is an urban legend that pungent factor has relation to food intake
      3
    • why didn't you blame the dog, idiot?
      17


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keep diggin, people who can't see past the literal words of a post are cumbersome to talk to.

I happen to like deep holes... :lol:

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keep diggin, people who can't see past the literal words of a post are cumbersome to talk to.

...and people said I was being a biatch....

Have I told you all how much I absolutely adore being proven right? Oh, I'm a female alright! LOL!

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This should be a thread that requires subscriptions, and only the most prestigious should be allowed to apply

you have to produce photographic evidence of a bona fide Imperial Dragon to join.

Imperial Dragon, The Noun

Definition 1: When you drop a single long thick duece where the front end sticks out of the water and you cant see the back end because it is down the toilet.

Usage Example: Marco really had to drop one and did the imperial dragon.

http://www.turdwords.com/viewword.cfm?wordID=6193

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back on topic...

Darling... says a husband sheepishly to his wife, Let's try a new position tonight.

Good idea! She replies: You stand in front of the sink and do the dishes,

and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart.!

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A very snobby woman is sitting in a restaurant, having just finished her clam chowder. As she leans over to reach into her purse for her wallet to pay the waiter, she releases a loud fart that makes everyone turn towards her table. Hoping to blame the flatulent blast on the waiter, she sits up with an air of indignation on her face and shouts:

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A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from Satan: if they can stump him, they'll be set free, and be able to go to Heaven. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question, to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a laptop, goes online, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well, but the Devil instantly gets the answer by using his laptop. When it comes down to the blonde, she pulls up a chair, drills three holes in it, sits down and farts.

Now... she says, Which hole did the fart come out of?

That's easy, says Satan, All three!

No! It came out of my butthole!

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This one is great....

  • What's the definition of bravery?


    A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!


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  • What do you get if you eat beans and onions?


    Tear Gas.


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  • What do you call a fart?


    A turd honking for the right of way.


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wow, i didn't think it was possible to ruin a thread about turds but ecurb is giving it the old college try.

meh. it was nothing without my help on the purple smoke anyways... :)

outhouse.gif A woman living in a rural area wanted to have an outhouse that wouldn't stink. She advertised it in the local papers for a contractor that could build such a structure. After some time, a contractor applied for the job and guaranteed that the outhouse would not have any odor. He got the job.

Sometime after completing the construction, the man got a frantic call from the woman, "You'd better get here fast! That outhouse has a terrible smell!"

He rushed over, went to the outhouse, poked his head through the door and exclaimed,

"No wonder it stinks! You pooped in it!"

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:lol:

SJ why is it so easy to **** with you? All I have to do is question something you say... regardless of how I actually feel or whether I really give a ****... and you seem to get all pissy... they make pills to help people relax ya know!

get lost Captain Literal

dummies.jpg

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get lost Captain Literal

Am I being too literal when I tell you your skin is thinner than Nicole Richie? :confused0082:

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Am I being too literal when I tell you your skin is thinner than Nicole Richie? :confused0082:

125837517_m.png

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125837517_m.png

unless you kissed adam and/or eve's ass i don't think you can really be a true ass kisser. you're just an amateur until you put your lips on the earth's original cornholes (figholes??).

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unless you kissed adam and/or eve's ass i don't think you can really be a true ass kisser. you're just an amateur until you put your lips on the earth's original cornholes.

now your catching on... lol

but this is all irrelevant because we never posted on the ORIGINAL message board on the internet...

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He's big, he's greasy, and no DT's want to touch him. he can also be had for a pound of raisins and corn each week.

bosspoopnycsmoothfp3.jpg

No turd Left Guard jokes,,

Smizzy will only allow New Homo Left Guard jokes :confused:

capt.322e08c23b9c4e7eb838f4f3a96d249e.nc_state_football_preview_ncgb106-793370.jpg

  • Upvote 1

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No turd Left Guard jokes,,

Smizzy will only allow New Homo Left Guard jokes :confused:

capt.322e08c23b9c4e7eb838f4f3a96d249e.nc_state_football_preview_ncgb106-793370.jpg

What about RedNeck left guard jokes? Are those ok?

redneck_overalls.jpg

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He's big, he's greasy, and no DT's want to touch him. he can also be had for a pound of raisins and corn each week.

bosspoopnycsmoothfp3.jpg

TOTW NOM :)

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What about RedNeck left guard jokes? Are those ok?

redneck_overalls.jpg

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

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now your catching on... lol

but this is all irrelevant because we never posted on the ORIGINAL message board on the internet...

i think you're in the original turd thread though.

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pyle.jpg

"Hi, Joker..."

"Leonard .. . if Hartman comes in here and catches us, we'll both be

in a world of sh*t."

"I am .. . in a world . . . of sh*t!"

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363065&postcount=5

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363106&postcount=8

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363233&postcount=10

http://jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=363866&postcount=17

^There you go, JGB. I'm out. I think I've said it all. Hehe.

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Boys are far harder to potty train than girls and are far more resistant. After boys start using the bowl and get the clue not to cr*p their pants, their mothers act like their cr*p is a gift from God, suitable for framing, followed by copious praise. It's carried into adulthood that cr*pping in the appropriate place equals the warm fuzzies, reminds them of Mom and her accolades, makes them not want to cr*p their pants because the rewards of the bowl are far more satisfying psychologically. Why else would anyone think they cr*pped gold and marble and actually be proud of defecating when they're thirty?

is it our fault that no man over thirty has been praised by a woman in so long we use any excuse to remember the one time in our lives the women we love were actually nice to us?

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It was soft to medium consistency,oily and very smelly. he also didn't wipe very well but we all know how hard it is to get in there and get 3 good wipes when you're a man on the Go ,such as Sooth.

Stay tuned for a follow up.

TOTW and hypocrite of the week post.

  • Upvote 1

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Wrong thread. Wait, I either got caught in a merge or I completely typed in the wrong place some minutes ago. I'm confused. Anyway, that's it for me on this topic.

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It was soft to medium consistency,oily and very smelly. he also didn't wipe very well but we all know how hard it is to get in there and get 3 good wipes when you're a man on the Go ,such as Sooth.

Stay tuned for a follow up.

I guess your son wont find this funny :P

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I'm in in the wrong thread!!! Wait, I either got caught in a merge or I completely typed in the wrong place. I'm confused. :confused: Anyway, that's it for me on this topic.

I have to admit, I was confused too. but Max is back now, and his thread merging talent is beyond repute. you just got caught up in his lightning like efficiency.

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I have to admit, I was confused too. but Max is back now, and his thread merging talent is beyond repute. you just got caught up in his lightning like efficiency.

I was so confused, I got caught editing with my pants down. Nothing new there.

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I guess your son wont find this funny :P

I went to a great Italian restaurant the other night... BEST EVER ;)

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