Captain Of JN

[EM31]

6 hours ago, Smashmouth said:

LOL he said @Warfish Optimist 

LOL, I know.  A strange world indeed but rumor has it that the fish is predicting sunny skies for this year.

[Dunnie]

I second , third and fourth nominate @Sarge4Tide ... But he probably savors being the silent authority of the board.

Sent from my Pixel 7 using Tapatalk
 

Edited September 1, 2023 by Dunnie

[Green Ghost]

2 hours ago, jetstream23 said:

We need to give this to someone who will take it WAY too seriously.  Like obsessing over it.  Someone who might even quit their job, divorce their spouse, send the kids to grandma’s for 5 months because this job, being the Captain of JN for 2023, isn’t like flipping burgers at McDonald’s part-time 24 hours per week.  This is like being an airline pilot where you are always in the air, flying 24 hours per day from now until February.  Your plane lands in Las Vegas at the Super Bowl.  Only then….do you get a bathroom break.

I want THAT guy/gal!

@Larz right now…

 

[Jetsfan80]

  

On 8/31/2023 at 4:23 PM, hmhertz said:

Not if Chubb keeps slipping on his QB's cum

 

On 8/31/2023 at 6:41 PM, The Crusher said:

We have our Jetnation captain folks!!

 

It's over, folks.  @T0mShane

[jgb]

2 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

  

 

 

It's over, folks.  @T0mShane

I just can’t wait to see who we will run off the board by blaming them for any letdown to come 

[T0mShane]

20 hours ago, jgb said:

I just can’t wait to see who we will run off the board by blaming them for any letdown to come 

What shocks me is that every year people ask to be the JN Captain despite the fact that the sitting JN Captain, every year, loses their sh*t and threatens to firebomb the whole place by week six

[jgb]

Just now, T0mShane said:

What shocks me is that every year people ask to be the JN Captain despite the JN Captain, every year, losing their sh*t and threatening to firebomb the whole place by week six

[The Crusher]

3 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

What shocks me is that every year people ask to be the JN Captain despite the JN Captain, every year, losing their sh*t and threatening to firebomb the whole place by week six

Tradition alive and well. A-Rod loves NY. 

[Jetsfan80]

3 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

What shocks me is that every year people ask to be the JN Captain despite the JN Captain, every year, losing their sh*t and threatening to firebomb the whole place by week six

That has more to do with being yelled at for putting the incorrect number of asterisks on the game thread than anything else though.

[jgb]

4 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

That has more to do with being yelled at for putting the incorrect number of asterisks on the game thread than anything else though.

We should just name SAR captain in absentia and save us the trouble of breaking another human being 

[Jetsfan80]

Just now, jgb said:

We should just name SAR captain in absentia and save us the trouble of breaking another human being 

ChatGPT.

 

@Barry McCockinner @GATA

[Jetsfan80]

5 minutes ago, jgb said:

We should just name SAR captain in absentia and save us the trouble of breaking another human being 

 

4 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

ChatGPT.

 

@Barry McCockinner @GATA

 

Prompt:  Write a nihilistic gameday post about the upcoming Jets Bills game

Response:  

In the vast, indifferent universe, as stars explode and black holes devour, here on this insignificant rock, two groups of grown men will collide over a leather ball in an event deemed as the "Jets vs. Bills game". Amid the cosmic dance of galaxies, for a fleeting moment that's barely a blip in the timeline of existence, fans will cheer, boo, and invest their emotions as if the outcome holds some profound meaning.

Sure, each tackle, pass, and touchdown might temporarily distract us from the cosmic void, from the existential realization that everything, in the end, is inconsequential. But does it really matter who wins or loses when we're all just stardust swirling in the void of time and space?

Gather around your screens, dear humans, drown your existential dread in beer and nachos, and pretend for a few hours that this spectacle has some grander purpose. Maybe, for a moment, the crushing weight of existence will feel a bit lighter as you immerse yourself in the triviality of the Jets and Bills.

In the grand scheme of the universe, it's all meaningless. But hey, at least there's halftime entertainment. Enjoy the game.

@Barry McCockinner

[jgb]

1 minute ago, Jetsfan80 said:

 

 

Prompt:  Write a nihilistic gameday post about the upcoming Jets Bills game

Response:  

In the vast, indifferent universe, as stars explode and black holes devour, here on this insignificant rock, two groups of grown men will collide over a leather ball in an event deemed as the "Jets vs. Bills game". Amid the cosmic dance of galaxies, for a fleeting moment that's barely a blip in the timeline of existence, fans will cheer, boo, and invest their emotions as if the outcome holds some profound meaning.

Sure, each tackle, pass, and touchdown might temporarily distract us from the cosmic void, from the existential realization that everything, in the end, is inconsequential. But does it really matter who wins or loses when we're all just stardust swirling in the void of time and space?

Gather around your screens, dear humans, drown your existential dread in beer and nachos, and pretend for a few hours that this spectacle has some grander purpose. Maybe, for a moment, the crushing weight of existence will feel a bit lighter as you immerse yourself in the triviality of the Jets and Bills.

In the grand scheme of the universe, it's all meaningless. But hey, at least there's halftime entertainment. Enjoy the game.

 

@Barry McCockinner

@Hackenberg - Banned

[hawk]

On 8/30/2023 at 10:12 PM, The Crusher said:

Poll 1- The easiest to reach, 

Pill 2- Blue Cheese, ranch is for heathens 

Someone ban this fool

[T0mShane]

3 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

That has more to do with being yelled at for putting the incorrect number of asterisks on the game thread than anything else though.

JN Captain Life:

6:37 a.m. Game Day

Wake up, pick up phone, swipe past important late night texts from your possibly jailed children and/or siblings, panicked work emails from your boss entitled “CONFIDENTIAL: RE: LAYOFFS,” flood watch alerts, multiple critical identity theft notifications from your bank, push notification from your FitBit saying your heart stopped beating three different times as you slept. Notice that wife is missing. Remember that you divorced your wife in 2016 after she implied drafting Christian Hackenberg was fine because he was “a cutie.” You remember checking the box next to “Irreconcilable Differences” and smirking. Maccagnan. Swipe through phone until you get to the JN window. See that you have 47 notifications. See that 42 of them are mentions from the same seven depraved freaks flipping out over you starting the Game Thread at 12:03 a.m, and that you had an asymmetrical number of asterisks in the title. See that the other five notifications are vengeance-thumbdowns from Jet Nut because on Wednesday you accidentally liked a post referring to Zach Wilson as “mid.” Get out of bed. Find yourself, hours later, standing in your bathrobe in your driveway with a Glock 19 in one hand and a gas can in the other. You were going to make French Toast for yourself, but something happened and you can’t remember what it was. Your neighbor has called the police. Kickoff is in one hour and seventeen minutes. Though your phone is on the ground in front of you and gasoline has warped the resolution, you are aware of another 72 notifications because you counted the chimes. A young police officer approaches you, hand extended, imploring you to drop the pistol. More chimes. You feel the cold of the taser’s prongs entering your chest. Your body seizes from the wattage. The gun goes off, a fire starts at your feet. You collapse involuntarily, flames climbing your bathrobe. Your phone melts and chimes. Kickoff is in 36 minutes. You remember what it was that took you away from the French Toast making as the fire department blasts your body with sodium bicarbonate. Gonna miss the start of the game. Kelly had responded to one of your posts with a gif of a winking Tony Danza and you couldn’t figure out what it meant in relation to your post. You were cracking eggs, cutting challah bread. 

[Larz]

1 hour ago, T0mShane said:

What shocks me is that every year people ask to be the JN Captain despite the JN Captain, every year, losing their sh*t and threatening to firebomb the whole place by week six

Not naming names but I was legit, not kidding around, blamed for a loss 😂

[HawkeyeJet]

So is this a real thing or another long running board gag that I can’t remember?

[EM31]

2 hours ago, HawkeyeJet said:

So is this a real thing or another long running board gag that I can’t remember?

Sure is.  Fireman Ed has nothing on El capitan

[jgb]

5 hours ago, T0mShane said:

JN Captain Life:

6:37 a.m. Game Day

Wake up, pick up phone, swipe past important late night texts from your possibly jailed children and/or siblings, panicked work emails from your boss entitled “CONFIDENTIAL: RE: LAYOFFS,” flood watch alerts, multiple critical identity theft notifications from your bank, push notification from your FitBit saying your heart stopped beating three different times as you slept. Notice that wife is missing. Remember that you divorced your wife in 2016 after she implied drafting Christian Hackenberg was fine because he was “a cutie.” You remember checking the box next to “Irreconcilable Differences” and smirking. Maccagnan. Swipe through phone until you get to the JN window. See that you have 47 notifications. See that 42 of them are mentions from the same seven depraved freaks flipping out over you starting the Game Thread at 12:03 a.m, and that you had an asymmetrical number of asterisks in the title. See that the other five notifications are vengeance-thumbdowns from Jet Nut because on Wednesday you accidentally liked a post referring to Zach Wilson as “mid.” Get out of bed. Find yourself, hours later, standing in your bathrobe in your driveway with a Glock 19 in one hand and a gas can in the other. You were going to make French Toast for yourself, but something happened and you can’t remember what it was. Your neighbor has called the police. Kickoff is in one hour and seventeen minutes. Though your phone is on the ground in front of you and gasoline has warped the resolution, you are aware of another 72 notifications because you counted the chimes. A young police officer approaches you, hand extended, imploring you to drop the pistol. More chimes. You feel the cold of the taser’s prongs entering your chest. Your body seizes from the wattage. The gun goes off, a fire starts at your feet. You collapse involuntarily, flames climbing your bathrobe. Your phone melts and chimes. Kickoff is in 36 minutes. You remember what it was that took you away from the French Toast making as the fire department blasts your body with sodium bicarbonate. Gonna miss the start of the game. Kelly had responded to one of your posts with a gif of a winking Tony Danza and you couldn’t figure out what it meant in relation to your post. You were cracking eggs, cutting challah bread. 

I love you 

[jtomm]

On 8/31/2023 at 12:46 PM, JiF said:

I'm basically a prophet but unfit to be Captain, so dont worry, it's not me.

..i do think imperfection is  underrated   

[The Crusher]

10 hours ago, Jetsfan80 said:

That has more to do with being yelled at for putting the incorrect number of asterisks on the game thread than anything else though.

Thats why ~~~real men~~~ use these. 

[TBJ]

9 hours ago, T0mShane said:

JN Captain Life:

6:37 a.m. Game Day

Wake up, pick up phone, swipe past important late night texts from your possibly jailed children and/or siblings, panicked work emails from your boss entitled “CONFIDENTIAL: RE: LAYOFFS,” flood watch alerts, multiple critical identity theft notifications from your bank, push notification from your FitBit saying your heart stopped beating three different times as you slept. Notice that wife is missing. Remember that you divorced your wife in 2016 after she implied drafting Christian Hackenberg was fine because he was “a cutie.” You remember checking the box next to “Irreconcilable Differences” and smirking. Maccagnan. Swipe through phone until you get to the JN window. See that you have 47 notifications. See that 42 of them are mentions from the same seven depraved freaks flipping out over you starting the Game Thread at 12:03 a.m, and that you had an asymmetrical number of asterisks in the title. See that the other five notifications are vengeance-thumbdowns from Jet Nut because on Wednesday you accidentally liked a post referring to Zach Wilson as “mid.” Get out of bed. Find yourself, hours later, standing in your bathrobe in your driveway with a Glock 19 in one hand and a gas can in the other. You were going to make French Toast for yourself, but something happened and you can’t remember what it was. Your neighbor has called the police. Kickoff is in one hour and seventeen minutes. Though your phone is on the ground in front of you and gasoline has warped the resolution, you are aware of another 72 notifications because you counted the chimes. A young police officer approaches you, hand extended, imploring you to drop the pistol. More chimes. You feel the cold of the taser’s prongs entering your chest. Your body seizes from the wattage. The gun goes off, a fire starts at your feet. You collapse involuntarily, flames climbing your bathrobe. Your phone melts and chimes. Kickoff is in 36 minutes. You remember what it was that took you away from the French Toast making as the fire department blasts your body with sodium bicarbonate. Gonna miss the start of the game. Kelly had responded to one of your posts with a gif of a winking Tony Danza and you couldn’t figure out what it meant in relation to your post. You were cracking eggs, cutting challah bread. 

The Falcon?

Kobe24Jets?

[Green Ghost]

10 hours ago, T0mShane said:

JN Captain Life:

6:37 a.m. Game Day

Wake up, pick up phone, swipe past important late night texts from your possibly jailed children and/or siblings, panicked work emails from your boss entitled “CONFIDENTIAL: RE: LAYOFFS,” flood watch alerts, multiple critical identity theft notifications from your bank, push notification from your FitBit saying your heart stopped beating three different times as you slept. Notice that wife is missing. Remember that you divorced your wife in 2016 after she implied drafting Christian Hackenberg was fine because he was “a cutie.” You remember checking the box next to “Irreconcilable Differences” and smirking. Maccagnan. Swipe through phone until you get to the JN window. See that you have 47 notifications. See that 42 of them are mentions from the same seven depraved freaks flipping out over you starting the Game Thread at 12:03 a.m, and that you had an asymmetrical number of asterisks in the title. See that the other five notifications are vengeance-thumbdowns from Jet Nut because on Wednesday you accidentally liked a post referring to Zach Wilson as “mid.” Get out of bed. Find yourself, hours later, standing in your bathrobe in your driveway with a Glock 19 in one hand and a gas can in the other. You were going to make French Toast for yourself, but something happened and you can’t remember what it was. Your neighbor has called the police. Kickoff is in one hour and seventeen minutes. Though your phone is on the ground in front of you and gasoline has warped the resolution, you are aware of another 72 notifications because you counted the chimes. A young police officer approaches you, hand extended, imploring you to drop the pistol. More chimes. You feel the cold of the taser’s prongs entering your chest. Your body seizes from the wattage. The gun goes off, a fire starts at your feet. You collapse involuntarily, flames climbing your bathrobe. Your phone melts and chimes. Kickoff is in 36 minutes. You remember what it was that took you away from the French Toast making as the fire department blasts your body with sodium bicarbonate. Gonna miss the start of the game. Kelly had responded to one of your posts with a gif of a winking Tony Danza and you couldn’t figure out what it meant in relation to your post. You were cracking eggs, cutting challah bread. 

[jtomm]

10 hours ago, T0mShane said:

What shocks me is that every year people ask to be the JN Captain despite the JN Captain, every year, losing their sh*t and threatening to firebomb the whole place by week six

[TuscanyTile2]

10 hours ago, T0mShane said:

JN Captain Life:

6:37 a.m. Game Day

Wake up, pick up phone, swipe past important late night texts from your possibly jailed children and/or siblings, panicked work emails from your boss entitled “CONFIDENTIAL: RE: LAYOFFS,” flood watch alerts, multiple critical identity theft notifications from your bank, push notification from your FitBit saying your heart stopped beating three different times as you slept. Notice that wife is missing. Remember that you divorced your wife in 2016 after she implied drafting Christian Hackenberg was fine because he was “a cutie.” You remember checking the box next to “Irreconcilable Differences” and smirking. Maccagnan. Swipe through phone until you get to the JN window. See that you have 47 notifications. See that 42 of them are mentions from the same seven depraved freaks flipping out over you starting the Game Thread at 12:03 a.m, and that you had an asymmetrical number of asterisks in the title. See that the other five notifications are vengeance-thumbdowns from Jet Nut because on Wednesday you accidentally liked a post referring to Zach Wilson as “mid.” Get out of bed. Find yourself, hours later, standing in your bathrobe in your driveway with a Glock 19 in one hand and a gas can in the other. You were going to make French Toast for yourself, but something happened and you can’t remember what it was. Your neighbor has called the police. Kickoff is in one hour and seventeen minutes. Though your phone is on the ground in front of you and gasoline has warped the resolution, you are aware of another 72 notifications because you counted the chimes. A young police officer approaches you, hand extended, imploring you to drop the pistol. More chimes. You feel the cold of the taser’s prongs entering your chest. Your body seizes from the wattage. The gun goes off, a fire starts at your feet. You collapse involuntarily, flames climbing your bathrobe. Your phone melts and chimes. Kickoff is in 36 minutes. You remember what it was that took you away from the French Toast making as the fire department blasts your body with sodium bicarbonate. Gonna miss the start of the game. Kelly had responded to one of your posts with a gif of a winking Tony Danza and you couldn’t figure out what it meant in relation to your post. You were cracking eggs, cutting challah bread. 

You should start a blog and write articles like this.  

[TuscanyTile2]

10 hours ago, Larz said:

Not naming names but I was legit, not kidding around, blamed for a loss 😂

You've gotta be kidding me.  Please find the thread!   

[jgb]

38 minutes ago, TuscanyTile2 said:

You've gotta be kidding me.  Please find the thread!   

I’m sure someone was busting chops and selective-literalism did the rest.

[EM31]

I don't remember any season where there has been this much optimism about our prospects. This includes back to back years after we went to the AFC championship game.

If things go south it will clearly be the result of JN management making the wrong selection to this important post.

Loose the Kraken!

No pressure

[jtomm]

On 8/30/2023 at 7:16 PM, pointman said:

kev or boycott. 

[jtomm]

On 8/31/2023 at 4:35 AM, SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN said:

How about HACKENBURG ?

[Beerfish]

[jtomm]

19 hours ago, Dunnie said:

I second , third and fourth nominate @Sarge4Tide ... But he probably savors being the silent authority of the board.

Sent from my Pixel 7 using Tapatalk

[jtomm]

On 8/31/2023 at 2:27 AM, Jet_Engine1 said:

..this guy might   🙄  - 

[jtomm]

On 8/31/2023 at 8:54 AM, playtowinthegame said:

He reminds me of @SAR I. lol

[BP]

This has actually never worked. I still don’t get the infatuation with this. @T0mShane should be castrated for starting this obsession. The start of this has created the worst Jets football in history.