how to be politically corect towards men and women

[spjets]

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -

she is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -

She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" -

She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -

She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -

She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" -

She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -

She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not "NAG" you -

She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

9. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -

She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

10. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -

She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:.

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -

He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -

He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -

He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" -

He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -

He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -

He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

7. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" -

He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

8. He is not "HORNY" -

He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

9. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -

It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"

[Verde]

OMG SP!

That is some funny sh!t

[djaparz]

i have to say i am an exemptioon to the dancing - i can move pretty good on the dance floor -

[Verde]

i have to say i am an exemptioon to the dancing - i can move pretty good on the dance floor -

So 1 & 3-9 still apply then?

[djaparz]

actually just the getting lost one does...

I don;t have a beer gut or have droopy pants to reveal anything

[Maxman]

Some of those are hysterical.