DHJF Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 In my sophomore year of college, I lived on a split hall in the dorm - guys on one side, gals on the other. After a heavy night of sudsing it up, I had to take a dump in the wee hours of the morning. Being that I was hammered, I proceeded to relieve myself in a paper bag. I then wrote the word "Cookies" on the bag and placed it on the table in the girls lounge. RA's called a big hall meeting the next morning demanding to know who did it. They never found out, thank God, because every guy at the meeting was hysterical laughing while the girls just stood there pissed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 my most recent confession- I viewed all the pics in the vida hacker thread & didn't get an erection met a girl in a bar, ended up @ my place. she left a necklace & watch there,came back a day later & couldn't find it. well I found it , sold the watch & gave necklace away as a gift, but continued to date this girl for a few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets28 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 I can't swim. I can't dance. I don't know how to whistle. scandalous, I know!! ...Don't worry Im with you on one of them...I can't swim either. Freak thing happened. This numbnut at the pool threw me in the deep end and I was just getting the mechanics of swimming and I was discouraged for life. Almost drowned and I was like thats it!!!... And my biggest confession...Everynight I dream of Smizzy and Curtis...not exactly in that order, and not seperate. I pull Smizzy's red hair and run my other hand through Curtis's silky hair while they have their way with me... . Third...I too opened everyone's christmas gifts and did a horrible job trying to patch them back up.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetswin Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 This thread is hysterical... In H.S. I got so hammered one night I puked in my sock drawer after wandering around my room thinking I had made it to the bathroom...needless to say the next morning I was confused as hell when I went to get dressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al NYC Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 3) one time I stole my roomates Biology book and sold it back to the school bookstore (at a horribly reduced price) to buy a bag of kind buds... during finals week. He had a habit of leaving school, not packing and not coming back (it took him 7 years to graduate) thought he pulled that stunt again when really he just went home for the weekend. oops. I can vouch for that as being a completely true story. What a dick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al NYC Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Oh, and speaking of college. The night before graduation, I was up until about 5 am, drunk as hell. So I wake up the next morning, I'm late for graduation and I notice a GIANT puddle in my bed. Had to throw on my cap and gown, head to the ceremony, absolutely covered in my own piss. I feel so bad for the poor kid seated next to me. Come to think of it, I wish it had been Bitonti. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 al i think if two guys our size were placed next to each other on tightly packed folding chairs it would have consituted a state fire violation FYI the morning of graduation Tommy R, Gilly and Lee showed up at my spot at 7am for "pregame" - i said go away you bastards but Tommy jumped into bed with me and my girl - needless to say I got up for pregame and later burned the bedsheets. another FYI "Pregame" consisted of warm shots of rum along with a brown nug that looked like Gilly had been saving since middle school. ah good times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 I am not religious but I listen to the Christian Rock station on Sirius radio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al NYC Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Another confession: Ever since I read the first post of this thread (about 3 hours ago), I've had that goddamn Kelly Clarkson song stuck in my head. TomShane, you suck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Another confession: Ever since I read the first post of this thread (about 3 hours ago), I've had that goddamn Kelly Clarkson song stuck in my head. TomShane, you suck! You're not alone with that! Admit it, it's a great tune! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormshadow19 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Another confession: Ever since I read the first post of this thread (about 3 hours ago), I've had that goddamn Kelly Clarkson song stuck in my head. TomShane, you suck! Eh... you can't avoid it. It's everywhere! I mean, the girl can sing, but the lyrics are just... ugh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 ...Don't worry Im with you on one of them...I can't swim either. Freak thing happened. This numbnut at the pool threw me in the deep end and I was just getting the mechanics of swimming and I was discouraged for life. Almost drowned and I was like thats it!!!... And my biggest confession...Everynight I dream of Smizzy and Curtis...not exactly in that order, and not seperate. I pull Smizzy's red hair and run my other hand through Curtis's silky hair while they have their way with me... . Third...I too opened everyone's christmas gifts and did a horrible job trying to patch them back up.. Yea mama!!! In other words I "do it" for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Yea mama!!! In other words I "do it" for you. Smizzy, you 'do it' for everybody! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 The price i pay for being so hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 The price i pay for being so hot. It's rough, I know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Like Max, I think I am gay. - For body lotions I only shop at bath and body works. I love sweet pea lotion and enjoy cucmber melon, Peony and Moonlight Path. -Which leads in to my next fetish....candles. Before I recently moved, I had 4 candles in the kitchen, three in the living room plus an oil burner, three in the bathroom and two in the bedroom. Plus, I have purchased those ones you can plug into the wall and bought one of those puffers for my car. -Although not a real secret but is in-line with the top two, I can not use most deoderants because they burn. So I use lady speed stick. I could use a man's but I love the wild freesia smell. - I still own the Go-Go's first record. -Although more of a guilty pleasure, I love listening classical music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Like Max, I think I am gay. - For body lotions I only shop at bath and body works. I love sweet pea lotion and enjoy cucmber melon, Peony and Moonlight Path. -Which leads in to my next fetish....candles. Before I recently moved, I had 4 candles in the kitchen, three in the living room plus an oil burner, three in the bathroom and two in the bedroom. Plus, I have purchased those ones you can plug into the wall and bought one of those puffers for my car. -Although not a real secret but is in-line with the top two, I can not use most deoderants because they burn. So I use lady speed stick. I could use a man's but I love the wild freesia smell. - I still own the Go-Go's first record. -Although more of a guilty pleasure, I love listening classical music. I think I may love you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 I think I may love you! ::wub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 I think I may love you! ::wub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 when i was 6 i was a vikings fan for one season because their unis were purple... lol.. my dad would have noe of that and wouldn't let me watch the viking games... it was JETS all the time...neeedless to say i was bleeding green by the time i was 7 i also can't skate. ( roller or ice) when i was 7 my brother was taunting me ..so i bit myself on the arm hard enough to show teeth marks and then went crying to my parents... my brother tried to tell them that i bit myself...and that made them even madder...LOL... he got soooooo punished... i did finally fess up...20 years later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baddniss2 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Hey Garb, My sister & her family live on the beach in Cotuit. I go up there every summer for a week. That was my pot that you found. Please return it to me ASAP. Love, Baddniss. P.S. Smizz, I am crying from laughing so hard at the headboard story.Thanks for the laughs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I missed a Jets game 2 years ago because I was on myhoneymoon. That is GROSS. Can't believe you just admitted to liking women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dickkotite Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 when im alone and i fart, i wave the stench towards my nose and enjoy the smell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Jet Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 I enjoy Barry Manilow's music. Yes.... I am a "fanilow" I snap using my thumb and pointer finger, and I've taught my children to snap that way as well. And I'm darn proud of it. 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 when im alone and i fart, i wave the stench towards my nose and enjoy the smell. Who doesn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 Lady Jet reminded me... I can't snap. Sad but true. Thousands have tried to teach me but I fail everytime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor99 Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 when im alone and i fart, i wave the stench towards my nose and enjoy the smell. Rookie. Everyone knows you're supposed to fart into your cupped hand, and then enjoy the aroma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 I have a thing for big-boned women (not fat, but the pleasantly plump variety). Uh, DieHard ... that's really your reflection in that mirror ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryno the Jet Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Guess I could throw in some TRUE stories. My first list was before you idiots had to go and make this a great thread, so I just threw out some BS. 1. Valentine's day 2000. My mom was out of town, and I was watching her house. I also had the keys to her brand new, fully loaded truck. Cooked dinner for my date, took her upstairs to mom's room, ya know, and drove her home. Get back to mom's, drunk friend calls me up. "Hey, got these two chicks with me!" They came over, we play leap frog, life is goooood, or at least at that point. At 2am the girls decide they would like a little party candy. My buddy says, "hey, drive me to this dude's house!" The sucker I am for naked girls, I drive him to the "dude's house." Parked outside along the curb, buddy goes inside. Fuzz rolls up, do the stupid human tricks, go to jail, DWI!!! Mom's brand new truck impounded!!! My buddy gets a ride back to MY MOM'S HOUSE from the cops, eight-ball in his sock, parties til sunup with the girls, while I was begging the jailer to let me out because I had two naked chicks at the house! 2. Second year of college. My roomate went home for the weekend, and brought back a ton of LSD. He needed money, so he thought he'd slang a lil'sunshine. I came home from the bar one night that following week, wasted. Roomate was gone, found his stash, took seven hits, rookie to the game, and 45 minutes later the place was dancin'. Long story short. Broke every pool cue we owned, used broken cue sticks to hit homeruns with every light bulb in the house, and bullcharged my head through a window. Longest night of my life. 3. I have had three concussions from diving into shallow water. 4. Worked at Wal-Mart in high school. Used to rob'em blind. You name it, I could get it for you. Ended up getting fired for eating a burrito from the snack bar that I did not pay for. Guess I got careless? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets28 Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Yea mama!!! In other words I "do it" for you. ....Do it for me one more time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets28 Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Smizzy, you 'do it' for everybody! :wink: ....Thanks Verde!!...Isn't it beautiful?.. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 We can't let this thread die. :character42: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsBlow99 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I once thought the Jets were half way decent:Nuts: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharrow Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 1. The first job I ever had was at a gas station. I hated it and every day I was there for a whole summer I stole something. I gave smokes, pop, a bunch of stuff away to my friends. And I was glad they never hired me back the next summer. They should have been too cause I really loved their beef jerky. The next job I got paid a lot more and was a lot less boring. 2. I can't whistle either and I cry during braveheart and a bunch of other movies too. 3. I also love Kelly Clarkson, along with Sarah Mclachlan, Jewel, Tracy Chapman, all that stuff, I love it, I can't get enough. 4. I've "stolen" thousands of dollars worth of ripped programs, movies, music, games, porn, etc. from the internet. 5. I think I have social anxiety disorder like Ricky Williams. *puff puff* 6. I've probably spent twice as much time on the JN arcade than what it says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DHJF Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 1. In the summer, I shave my chest, stomach, arms, armpits, legs, and heiney. I also do a trememdous amount of manscaping down below on a regular basis. 2. I enjoy pina colada's and strawberry daquiris from time to time. 3. I used to steal $0.01 Bazooka bubble gum pieces from the corner store growing up. My sister was the decoy. 4. I don't work as hard as I should. 5. I'm a "Red Kettle" guy for the Salvation Army during the Christmas season. It's the only charity I donate to. 6. When I'm hammered and the wife's not around, I'll buy a pack of butts and smoke up. 7. I'm afraid of flying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.