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How to shower like a woman/man.


Bob
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Many of you have probably seen this before. I got it in my email again today, and it always makes me laugh.

How to shower like a woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according

to lights and! darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband

along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do

more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,

wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added

vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with

natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until

red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap

hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas

How to Shower Like a Man:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them

in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom If you see wife along the way, shake wiener

at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your

wiener and scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound

in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was

hanging out of tub the whole time.

16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,

pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

19.Throw wet towel on bed.

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thats about right Bob...you guys are nasty... :lol:

Here's a little man humor for you...

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will

probably

never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is

yelling

at the

front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the street with a bald head and a beer

gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Boy ain't this

the truth!...Enjoy!!

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:lol: These are classic. All I'm saying is that if they ever genetically engineer a toothless sheep that can cook pancakes, you women will become totally useless to us.

The woman in me totally wants to hate that post but I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Very funny.

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