Savage69 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 There's a dick up your ass. You blow every paycheck on gerbils. You get offended by the word "Fruit Loops." Your fantasies include prison showers and dropped soap. Anyone mentions "The Village People" and you think of your neighbors. Your nickname is "Homo." Your friends want to kill Richard Simmons, you'd rather spank him. You know over 10 people named Bruce. There's always a "queer" taste in your mouth. You wake up each morning and scratch someone else's balls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jethead Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 There's a d!ck up your a$$. You blow every paycheck on gerbils. You get offended by the word "Fruit Loops." Your fantasies include prison showers and dropped soap. Anyone mentions "The Village People" and you think of your neighbors. Your nickname is "Homo." Your friends want to kill Richard Simmons, you'd rather spank him. You know over 10 people named Bruce. There's always a "queer" taste in your mouth. You wake up each morning and scratch someone else's balls. Speaking of gerbils. Gerbil Rocket (1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Ragout but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident. Must have been Pats fans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 You know over 10 people named Bruce. this is also a sign you might be austrailian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage69 Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 this is also a sign you might be austrailian Good Point Bit Max said that Tom has been "Down Under" alot!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al NYC Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 this is also a sign you might be austrailian ...says Matt "Shaft Daddy" Bitonti! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 I think the biggest sign is people making threads on how to be Gay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gainzo Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 this is also a sign you might be austrailian You got that right. I must know a half dozen blokes named Bruce. None of them are gay by the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 ...says Matt "Shaft Daddy" Bitonti! i'd rather be called that then "Mock Draft Mommy" some fool at the JI site called me today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 i'd rather be called that then "Mock Draft Mommy" some fool at the JI site called me today I am not sure who called you that. But I have to admit...it is pretty funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 I am not sure who called you that. But I have to admit...it is pretty funny! what's even funnier is I already own that domain name for a future adult entertainment business venture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage69 Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 I think the biggest sign is people making threads on how to be Gay Ahhhh....The Voice of experience! Have you met Tom yet?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinMawae'sEyebrows Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 You dropped the soap on purpose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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