Best Damn Sports Show period

[Brenjetsfan]

tonite "Desperate Housewives" star James Denton

an tomorrow Kevin Millar

toooo hotties

[shawn306]

Why is Millar wearing Eye black at home ?

[joewilly]

cause he wasn't specifically told not to use permanent marker

[Green Jets & Ham]

The water, I assume, is still safe to drink in New York, huh?

Actually I have to be fair with you, I'm only setting you up a little bit.

It's not a trick question, but it's just a set up 'cause I don't really care about the water, to tell ya the truth.

I just love to hear the answer to that question.

I ask that question everywhere I go. Everywhere I go I say "How's the water?"

Haven't gotten a positive answer yet. Not one.

Last year I was in forty states, a hundred cities. Not one audience was able to say to me "Yes. Enjoy some of our fine local water. It is pure, and it is good."

Of course I know a lot of people don't talk that way anymore, but nobody trusts the local water supply, nobody. And that amuses me. I like that.

I admit I'm a bit perverted, but it amuses me that no one can really trust the water anymore. And the thing I like about it the most is it means the system is beginning to collapse and everything is slowly breaking down.

I enjoy chaos and disorder, and not just because they help me professionally. They're also my hobby.

You see, I'm an entropy fan. I'm an entropy fan. When I first heard of entropy in high school science I was attracted to it immediately.

When they told me that in nature all systems are breaking down, I thought "What a good thing. What a good thing. Perhaps I can make some small contribution in this area myself."

I'm glad the water sucks. I'm glad it sucks. You know what I do about it? I drink it!!

Ahhhh, unless it really smells. If it really smells a lot like sulphur, then I might buy a soda. But it's got to be a soda loaded with chemical additives.

I like a lot of chemical additives in the things I eat and drink. You see I'm not one of these people who's worried about everything. You got people like this around you?

Country's full of 'em now. People walking around all day long, every minute of the day, worried about everything.

Worried about the air, worried about the water, worried about the soil. Worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens. Worried about radon gas, worried about asbestos, and saving the endangered species.

Let me tell ya about endangered species, all right.

Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control nature. It's arrogant

meddling. It's what got us in trouble in the first place. Doesn't anybody understand that? Interfering with nature.

Over 90%, over, way over, 90% of all the species that have ever lived on this planet, ever lived, are gone.

They're extinct.

We didn't kill them all. They just disappeared. That's what nature does.

They disappear these days at the rate of 25 a day, and I mean regardless of our behavior.

Irrespective of how we act on this planet, 25 species that were here today, will be gone tomorrow. Let them go gracefully. Leave nature alone. Haven't we done enough?

We're so self important, so self important. Everybody's gonna save something now.

Save the trees.

Save the bees.

Save the whales.

Save those snails.

And the Greatest arrogance of all ... Save the Planet!!

What?!?!

What?!?!

Are these f**king people kidding me?!?!

Save the planet?!?!

We don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, and we're gonna save the f**king planet?!?!

I'm gettin' tired of that $hit. Tired of that $hit.

I'm tired of f**king Earth Day.

I'm tired of these self righteous environmentalists. These white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People tryin' to make the world safe for their Volvos.

Besides, environmentalists don't give a $hit about the planet!!

They don't care about the planet, not in the abstract they don't, not in the abstract they don't!!

You know what they're interested in?

A clean place to live, their own habitat.

They're worried that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced, and these narrow-minded, unenlightened, self interested pr**ks don't impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet, nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine.

The people are f**ked, but the planet is fine.

BIG difference!!

BIG difference!!

The planet is fine.

Compared to the people, the planet is doing Great ... it's been here 4 1/2 billion years.

Did you ever think about the arithmetic?

The planet has been here 4 1/2 billion years.

We've been here what, a hundred thousand, maybe two hundred thousand?

And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over 200 years.

200 years versus 4 1/2 billion!!

And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat?

That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the Sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us, been through all kinds of things worse than us.

Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drifts, solar flares, Sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles, hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages.

And we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference ... are these f**kin people kidding me?!?!

The planet, the planet, the planet isn't going anywhere ... BUT WE ARE!!

WE'RE GOIN AWAY!!

Pack your $hit, folks. We're Goin away.

And we won't leave much of a trace either, thank God for that ... maybe a little styrofoam, maybe, a little styrofoam.

The planet will be here, but we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation, just another closed-end biological mistake, an evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas, a surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet's doing?

Ask those people at Pompeii who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet is doing?

Wanna know if the planet's alright?

Ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week?

How 'bout those people in Kilauea, Hawaii who build their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room?

The planet will be here for a long, long, long time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover. The Earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the Earth plus plastic.

The Earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the Earth. The Earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children.

Could be the only reason the Earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself, but didn't know how to make it .. needed us

Could be the answer to our age old, egocentric, philosophical question: "Why are we here?" Plastic!!

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now.

And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started?

I think to be fair the planet sees us as a mild threat, something to be "DEALT WITH"

And the planet can defend itself in an organized collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can, a collective defense mechanism.

The planet will think of something.

What would you do if you were the planet?

How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species?

Let's see. Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And uh, viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these ceatures. Perhaps a human immuno-deficieny virus making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along.

And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction?

Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I?

See, I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand, a higher order, call it what you want. 'Know what I call it? The big electron.

THE BIG ELECTRON

It doesn't punish. It doesn't reward. It doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we ... at least for a little while.

George Carlin

[Mean Papi Green]

ya aight Hammy?

[Brenjetsfan]

[Green Jets & Ham]

ya aight Hammy?

MPG, that monolouge was for self-important, enviornmentalist, bourgeois liberal in the picture I quoted ... take another look at that Ken Doll {notice his tee shirt}, and then you will see the reason why I posted Carlin's classic monologue on the idea of "SAVING THE PLANET" :wink: