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djaparz
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DJ's Mule

Gary was traveling down a quiet country road when he noticed a large group of people standing around outside a house. He stopped and asked a farmer why such a large crowd was gathered. The farmer replied," DJ's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died."

"I see," Gary said. "Well, she must have had a lot of friends."

"Naw," the farmer said, "we just all want to buy his mule."

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A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.

She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming!" and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,

"Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost it."

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Three women are stranded on a desert island. While there they come across a lamp, rub it and discover a genie who is willing to grant each of them one wish.

The first woman tells the genie that she wishes to be twice as smart as she is right now. The genie nods and says, “Your wish is my command.” And poof, she was twice as smart. She used things that she found on the island to build a boat and sail away.

The second woman decides to out do the first and wishes to be ten times smarter. The genie nods and says, “Your wish is my command.” And poof, she was ten times smarter. She used materials she found on the island to build a plane and fly home.

The third woman wants to out do both of her friends so she tells the genie to make her one hundred times smarter than the both of them put together. The genie nods and says, “Your wish is my command.” Poof, she turned into a man and took the bridge to get off the island.

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