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e-harmony/match.com...?


drago

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I have been hearing a lot about these things lately. either my friends have tried them, or are thinking about trying them. I say go for it if you really want to meet some other people, but i could see how it would backfire and develop a pretty solid stalker type.

any horror stories? or examples of it actually working?

My friend in Madison went on two different dates, he said the one girl was really cool, the saw each other for a month, but it ended at that. My dad on the other hand has a long term GF out of it, so i think that's pretty cool. Easier for a guy in his 50's to meet a woman, than at some run down bar.

Just curious what some of you think.

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wrong board friend. this is more of an outpersonals crowd

haha, but its oppinionative. i sort of want to defend my point, i want to know if people really think they are lame, where as i don't think they are.

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I know of three people who were on match.com for casual dating and did fine. Two (1 guy, 1 girl) hooked up regularly until they got bored. The third was looking for something more serious and dated a lot, but hasn't come close to finding that - she got a lot of nutjobs, but plenty of good dates. They had no trouble hooking up with the computer. I know of one girl who never left the house and joined eharmony and has dated a few times and has a boyfriend now. Seems happy.

Beats trying to pick up chicks at the supermarket like Richie Cunningham.

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some friends of mine have done this. one co-worker even married someone she met online, great guy too. i think the key is you have to be careful, just like you would in the real world but it's harder to pick up on a creepiness vibe over email than in person. be smart: talk to the other person a lot before meeting and have the first few meetings be in a public place so you don't divulge where you live and use only your first name until you feel comfortable. basically the same things you'd do if you met someone at a bar.

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some friends of mine have done this. one co-worker even married someone she met online, great guy too. i think the key is you have to be careful, just like you would in the real world but it's harder to pick up on a creepiness vibe over email than in person. be smart: talk to the other person a lot before meeting and have the first few meetings be in a public place so you don't divulge where you live and use only your first name until you feel comfortable. basically the same things you'd do if you met someone at a bar.

i always got the feeling girls are more at risk. Guys tend to be stronger and more manipulative than girls, which could lead to some serious problems. but you could run into that at the grocery store.

for the record, i'm not particularily interested in doing this, i have a girl i'm sort of interested in, so haven't given it much thought, i'm just hearing a lot about it lately from friends. It should work for them, seems like the companies are set up reasonably well and all.

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There is a guy in my office (in his 50's) who uses match.com. He claims that he is getting all kinds of action, but nothing that serious. I would say that chances are that you would really have to sort through the crap to find any hidden gem. I tend to doubt that you find any mentally stable young hotties as they would be snapped up long before having to post an ad on the internet.

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i always got the feeling girls are more at risk. Guys tend to be stronger and more manipulative than girls, which could lead to some serious problems. but you could run into that at the grocery store.

for the record, i'm not particularily interested in doing this, i have a girl i'm sort of interested in, so haven't given it much thought, i'm just hearing a lot about it lately from friends. It should work for them, seems like the companies are set up reasonably well and all.

#1 you're gonna get a lot of disagreement on the manipulative comment. that aside, yes women are more at risk. same as in the world at large. i don't see a reason for online dating to be stigmatized though. some people are shy by nature, doesn't make them bad people who don't deserve to find someone. i think it's good that this exists. you just have to be smart because of course there are sickos out there and you're probably more likely to find a sicko online than in RL because (a) you can talk to many more people online than you would going out for a night and (B) perverted weirdos probably troll these things. just gotta be smart.

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I tried match years ago as a social experiment, HORRIBLE! One girl used pics that were from highschool 6 years and 50 lbs ago. Now, I know that comment immediately will erk 2-3 of you, but i was just pissed that the girl was deceiving. The second girl said she looked just like brittney murphy but had little fidget hands and a really bad twitch and collected napkins and straws from every bar and restaurant she has ever been to. The third was right after the 2000 election and as hard as i tried to stay away from political discussion on a first date, it went right there with her being a total bleeding heart liberal (I am a republican, surprise surprise). I also went out with a chick from craigslist who proceeded 1 hour into the date to get super raunchy, and say how much some guys are pussies who can't handle it when women express what they want, like if she wants to get gangbanged or other crazy stuff. She was EXTREMELY forward, like scary forward. This was also 5 years ago before I got into my little business, so I just didn't know how to really handle all that. When I kissed her goodnight-on the cheek-she grabbed my gabagool and said i needed to come up to her place. I freaked and ran off.

Anyway, it was just a terrible experience for finding a match, but i did get some interesting dates out of it. Looking back, I was extremely passive, just tossing up a profile and waiting for girls that came to me, and all those dates were girls who initiated contact with me, maybe that was part of the problem.

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One thing that is good is that it is becoming more mainstream. Now normal people will not only do it, but admit to it. Without the stigma you're more likely to find a "normal" match.

i think you are right on there. When its brought up now, more often than not the other person just shrugs as its a normal thing to do.

i can't imagine sitting at a wedding knowing you met online though, not that it hasn't been done, but it would sort of take away from the 'how we met story'

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Is "social experiment" code for "I was a nerd and couldn't find a date the traditional ways"? lol

the laziness factor sort of plays a role too. joebaby even said he only met up with girls that contacted him, doesn't sound like he put a whole lot of effort into it. I do have to say i like that laziness part.

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I also went out with a chick from craigslist who proceeded 1 hour into the date to get super raunchy, and say how much some guys are pussies who can't handle it when women express what they want, like if she wants to get gangbanged or other crazy stuff. She was EXTREMELY forward, like scary forward.

so standard 15 picture deal? :)

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as in your mother bribing the girl down the street to go out with you?

Only if I like the girl enough. haha.

I've had a few friends who've tried internet dating. To me, it seems like finding the right person on there is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Both of my friends who've done it ended up with terrible dates, girls completely different from what they had said they were.

You'd think at my age, people wouldn't have to worry about going on websites to find dates, but who knows.

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Is "social experiment" code for "I was a nerd and couldn't find a date the traditional ways"? lol

LOL, no, I was living in Manhattan, everyone was doing it, i figured i would give it a go. I also did the speed dating thing, with the purpose of trying to immediately weed out every undesirable and see if this had any prospect. I succeeded and found out just how boring so many people are in Manhattan. From what i saw, most of the people who do that stuff are late twenties-early thirties yuppie suit-monkey types. Having been single for a while in NYC, I figured the first question every girl would ask is what do you do for a living and where do you live. Now, this was a few years ago, when i was at my busiest as a fashion accessories designer and lived in a hot neighborhood downtown so I did have great answers for that, but those questions were total bull. I mean, what do you learn about someone from their 9-5 and which neighborhood in manhattan they live in other than if they can afford that new Marc Jacobs bag for your next bday. So I came up with a question that would stump all those vapid b##ches. In speed dating you have 8 minutes with each person to ask questions and mark down in secret if you liked them. I decided to strike first with the first question since this is an interview more than a conversation, with a question none of them expected, but would be easy for an interesting person to answer. So, i sit down, the bell goes off, and i fire away"So, when you ARE NOT working, what do you do?" Now, it blew my mind how none of these chicks could really answer that! Some of them would think for a minute, and disregard and just start off about their career. Some of them just sat there and panicked. One girl said she loves to travel, so i think great so do I so I ask where she has been recently and she says"nowhere yet really, but I want to go get a passport so I can." WTF? It was just terrible yet funny how none of the 10 or so girls had anything interesting to say that didn't revolve around work.

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LOL, no, I was living in Manhattan, everyone was doing it, i figured i would give it a go. I also did the speed dating thing, with the purpose of trying to immediately weed out every undesirable and see if this had any prospect. I succeeded and found out just how boring so many people are in Manhattan. From what i saw, most of the people who do that stuff are late twenties-early thirties yuppie suit-monkey types. Having been single for a while in NYC, I figured the first question every girl would ask is what do you do for a living and where do you live. Now, this was a few years ago, when i was at my busiest as a fashion accessories designer and lived in a hot neighborhood downtown so I did have great answers for that, but those questions were total bull. I mean, what do you learn about someone from their 9-5 and which neighborhood in manhattan they live in other than if they can afford that new Marc Jacobs bag for your next bday. So I came up with a question that would stump all those vapid b##ches. In speed dating you have 8 minutes with each person to ask questions and mark down in secret if you liked them. I decided to strike first with the first question since this is an interview more than a conversation, with a question none of them expected, but would be easy for an interesting person to answer. So, i sit down, the bell goes off, and i fire away"So, when you ARE NOT working, what do you do?" Now, it blew my mind how none of these chicks could really answer that! Some of them would think for a minute, and disregard and just start off about their career. Some of them just sat there and panicked. One girl said she loves to travel, so i think great so do I so I ask where she has been recently and she says"nowhere yet really, but I want to go get a passport so I can." WTF? It was just terrible yet funny how none of the 10 or so girls had anything interesting to say that didn't revolve around work.

I like that question, you're right that it would be easy to answer, if you had an answer. All you need is a hint of personality and its not tough. Good call on that one.

That whole 'boring' thing is almost to the point of impressive. Its as though they are born with boobs and therefore never had to engage in a conversation that was not revolving around her boobs.

It was cool in college cause you could find the girls that liked football, drank beer on sundays, and wouldn't freak out before tests. You could then date them, or at least hang out with them knowing they had personality.

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Only if I like the girl enough. haha.

I've had a few friends who've tried internet dating. To me, it seems like finding the right person on there is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Both of my friends who've done it ended up with terrible dates, girls completely different from what they had said they were.

You'd think at my age, people wouldn't have to worry about going on websites to find dates, but who knows.

for the guys out there thinkin about this here's a tip. prewarn her of a go dutch clause if she is not within 6 lbs of stated weight, or if it turns out she has an annoying nasally voice or facial hair that's been photoshopped out or a 3rd leg that was not even talked about or any number of offputting qualities and you feel duped

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for the guys out there thinkin about this here's a tip. prewarn her of a go dutch clause if she is not within 6 lbs of stated weight, or if it turns out she has an annoying nasally voice or facial hair that's been photoshopped out or a 3rd leg that was not even talked about or any number of offputting qualities and you feel duped

Dutch, German, English, Irish. It doesn't matter her descent as long as she's willing to pay half.

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